Anyone who saw Naomi exiting the human resource department would think she'd just been whirled off the most amazing ride at Disneyworld. She wore that familiar excited-but-nauseous look, which made her cringe as she passed her own reflection in the glass wall. The harsh fluorescent lights and drab, taupe décor only served to emphasize the nauseated look she was wearing.

"Mayu would be so disappointed," she thought to herself as she stood in front of the shiny elevator doors. Naomi had no idea what she had been thinking when she bought this awful, brown potato sack of a suit or why she continued to wear it.

It just confirmed to her that she needed a change, even if making that change was as scary as sitting in the front seat of a roller coaster, paused at the top of the first big down-hill run. She could feel the tension winding up in her gut, tightening into knots.

The leave that she'd be taking soon was necessary, but she was nervous about how it would impact not only her position at work, since she'd just been promoted, but also how it would affect her marriage.

She desperately did not want to become another sad statistic in the national divorce epidemic. When she married Kyungsoo, she'd made her vows for better or for worse, not just until things got hard.

Suddenly, Naomi felt like she could see divorce looming off in the distance like a scary monster she didn't want to face. Kyungsoo's seeming indifference to her feelings had left her feeling lost and her own sense of conflict and depression had finally become apparent to her.

Naomi could remember when being with Kyungsoo was as easy as breathing, wanting to be together all of the time. Since they had been together so long, maybe she hadn't ever really found out who she was without him there.

It had only been earlier that morning in her office that she'd finally come to terms with the fact that she was actually feeling depressed. She'd been reading some random article that had popped up with one of the news feeds she got online, about a new anti-depression drug.

All of the feelings she'd been having — the sadness, helplessness, feeling out of control, and never feeling quite right — were all listed in the article as signs of clinical depression. Each symptom seemed to leap off of the screen and grab her by the throat.

Naomi couldn't breathe and she felt as if the room was closing in around her. After she found herself on her knees behind her desk hyperventilating, she realized she needed help.

She was fortunate that her doctor had a cancellation and was able to get her in that same afternoon. When she left the doctor's office, she felt better than she had in a while.

After a long talk about a lot of what had been going on in her life, her doctor had given her a prescription for a mild antidepressant and urged her to talk to a counselor on a more regular basis.

When she'd discussed her intention of taking an extended trip out of the country, without Kyungsoo, her doctor was cautious. He didn't want to tell her how to run her personal life, but he had known her since Kyungsoo started his residency and didn't want Naomi to make a decision she would later regret. He had encouraged her to discuss the matter with her husband as soon as possible.

It was this impending discussion that had her stomach twisting in knots as she rode the bus home from the pharmacy. It was late when she finally arrived at their door.

She could see the crack of light coming from under the door; Kyungsoo was home. As she turned the key in the lock and shouldered her way into the foyer, her forehead scrunched up in confusion, delicious smells coming from the kitchen. Huh. She didn't think they had much more than Ramen noodles left.

Then again, they did have the complete Ramen noodle cook book, so he could've made something amazing. But who was she kidding? Kyungsoo didn't do stuff for her like that anymore. She had a quick flashback to high school. He had spent all day watching The Food Network and enlisted Mayu to help him make her the best dinner of her life.

That teenage girl saw nothing but a future of kisses and rainbows. Naomi wanted to shake that girl and tell her to get ready for reality because it was about to dump a cold bucket of water all over her rainbows. Naomi gathered herself together and stepped further into the apartment.

She stopped short when she saw that the table was completely dressed with their wedding china. They hadn't used that since their first anniversary. Centered in the middle of the table was a fat bouquet of purple hyacinths dotted with baby's breath, white tea-lights were lit all around the flowers and the napkins were folded neatly on each plate. There was a small card tucked into the fold of her napkin.

Naomi couldn't remember the last time Kyungsoo had done something so thoughtful, let alone romantic. They'd both just been so tired – of everything.

After setting her purse and messenger bag down, she also noticed the quiet hum of the air conditioner. She hadn't appreciated it at first, but the house felt almost comfortable in temperature.

Plucking the card from the napkin, she opened it slowly, noticing that Kyungsoo had stepped out of the kitchen with a dish towel thrown over his shoulder. He just stood there, leaned up against the door frame, holding the salt and pepper shakers, giving her some space. She glanced at him, cocking one eyebrow inquisitively and looked back at the card.

There were only two words on the card, but right now, they carried with them a bit of healing. "I'm Sorry," was all it said. It was all she needed it to say. She looked up in Kyungsoo's direction, and couldn't help the tears that fell down her cheeks.

He reached out to her and said in a very soft voice, "I'm sorry, Naomi. I didn't know he was such a lowlife."

Overcome by so many feelings swirling around in her head and heart, she took his hand and sunk willingly into his open arms.

For Kyungsoo, it had been much too long since he'd remembered what it felt like to cherish and protect his wife. After several moments of simply holding Naomi, he could feel her body relax and her shuddering breaths slow to a more normal rate. He could feel how they fit perfectly together and he realized how much she added to him; without her, he couldn't feel whole.

Leaning back, he smiled and asked, "Hungry?"

Naomi hummed and nodded. "You cooked?"

Kyungsoo's eyes began darting around and he glanced behind his shoulder into the kitchen and began backing up. "Uh, I didn't really make anything per se, more like I gathered and arranged."

"Kyungsoo," she groaned softly, "where did you get it from?"

When he didn't answer right away, she side-stepped him quickly and entered the kitchen. She blew out an exasperated breath when she saw the carryout bags from one of her favorite – but very expensive – restaurants. Just like that, all of her exasperation began to simmer to the top.

"I wanted to give you a special treat. It's been years since we got anything from Jesse's, and I wanted to do something nice for you."

"Kyungsoo, the flowers and card said all that needed to be said. This probably cost close to seventy bucks! We can't afford that."

"Naomi, please, let's just enjoy the food. I'll bike to work for the rest of the month and we'll go to the farmer's market and get samples for lunch and dinner, but please, don't turn this into a fight."

As Naomi's stomach quietly grumbled, while the delicious aromas of dinner wafted to her nose, she closed her eyes and tried to stamp down the stress and thoughts of how dangerously empty their bank account was. He was, at least, trying to make amends, and she really didn't want another argument.

Didn't he realize how hard she was working for the both of them?

"Okay, Kyungsoo, but there are some things we need to talk about." She looked up into his face and noticed just how haggard he'd become.

His eyes were dark and lacking the sparkle that had once been there, his cheekbones were sharper, and his lips looked almost ashen. Neither of them was taking very good care of themselves or each other.

"I know there is. I know."

He guided her gently back to the table and held the chair out for her. She sat down and waited patiently as he brought out their first course. Once he sat down, he reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze.

They enjoyed their dinner, mostly in silence, only mildly tinged with the weight of the conversation that needed to happen. Naomi refused the saltshaker when Kyungsoo passed it to her, earning a questioning eyebrow raise.

"I..uh..I went to the doctor today. He said my blood pressure was a little on the high side and that I should try and stay away from added salt," Naomi said, shrugging as she speared a piece of steak and popped it in . She probably shouldn't be eating that either, but it tasted really, really good.

Kyungsoo looked surprised at her statement and his clinical side immediately took over his brain. "What were the numbers? Did he do a full blood panel?"

Naomi sighed, expecting Dr. Do to show up as soon as she'd mentioned her appointment. "It was 135 over 87. So not full-on high blood pressure, but pre-hypertension. And they did whatever blood work they could considering I wasn't fasting. So I may need to go back."

"Hmmm. Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the results of the tests are. Is that why you were so late getting home?" Kyungsoo, who'd taken off his metaphorical doctor's coat once more, asked.

Feeling like full disclosure was important for the discussion they were barreling into, she responded, "Partly. I also had to stop at the pharmacy and have a prescription filled." Immediately, Kyungsoo was once again replaced by the clinician. She wasn't having a conversation with her husband anymore she was talking to super confident, ER-problem-solver-extraordinaire, Dr. Do.

"He didn't prescribe a blood pressure medication already, did he? Did you bring home a copy of the blood panel? Hand me your wrist, I want to feel your pulse." Kyungsoo hated doctors that wrote a script for any and everything.

"No, it's not for my blood pressure." Naomi stood up, brushing his questing fingers from her wrist, and went to her bags, removing the small bottle from her purse. She handed it over to her husband, who looked at it, then up at her, then back down at the bottle.

"Naomi, what doctor did you go to and why? This is an SSRI. This is for depression..." his voice trailed off.

"Yeah, I know, and... it is." Naomi looked at him for a moment, hoping that Dr. Do would go away and her Kyungsoo would come back, look in her eyes and know everything about her they way he used to.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" His voice was soft, filled with concern and confusion. This was not the conversation he had been expecting.

"I didn't really figure it out until today. But Kyungsoo, this is just one thing in a huge mess of issues that we've been avoiding for a long time."

By unspoken agreement they got up from the table, leaving the dishes where they were, and sat down knee to knee on their bed. It was a tip that Mr. Do and Mrs. Do had shared with them early on in their relationship.

If they needed to have a serious discussion, have it knee to knee and holding hands. They liked having these kinds of talks on their bed because it was the place they shared the most. Again, Naomi couldn't remember the last time they'd had one of these knee to knee conversations.

They both sat very quietly, tentatively holding each other's hands. Finally Kyungsoo broke the silence.

"What did Hanzo say to you?" He looked like a quiet storm, brewing and bubbling. Naomi wasn't sure if this was the best place to begin their discussion but it needed to be said.

"You really don't want to know," Naomi said shaking her head.

"I'm sure I don't want to know, but I need to know, sweetheart."

Naomi sighed and took a deep breath, feeling her skin crawl all over again, just at the thought of how Hanzo had looked at her and how he'd spoken to her.

She closed her eyes and repeated, "He said, 'Lord luv a duck, look at the on you, Love! An that arse! Now that's a sight a man can appreciate coming home to. Mind if I take a peek?' Then he came towards me adjusting himself, groping his own... er - yeah, and looking right at my chest. That's when I screamed. He backed off a little and I grabbed the first things I could get my hands on."

As she'd expected, Kyungsoo's face was covered with a murderous thundercloud of darkness. He didn't realize how hard he was squeezing her hands.

"Kyungsoo you're hurting me," she said softly tugging her fingers gently out of his grip.

Kyungsoo's hands had curled around Naomi's fingers involuntarily, as the rage inside of him burned out of control. Her voice telling him he was causing her pain brought him back to the present and he quickly dropped her hands watching, agonized, as she rubbed them.

He wanted to kill the man. He wanted to fly across the Atlantic Ocean and rip Kung Hanzo to shreds and burn the pieces.

"Naomi, if I had known that, I never would've let him stay. He had never shown that side of himself in front of me. I only learned about it this afternoon when I overheard a couple of nurses talking about him." He ran his hands through his hair once before taking her hands again.

"But Kyungsoo, that's just it! What hurt was first, the fact that you didn't bother to consult me about inviting a stranger into our home, and second, that my feelings didn't seem to matter at all. You just rode over me like what I had to say was crazy and rude. It was like you were more worried about being embarrassed in front of a colleague than you were about my feelings. You're my husband and I need you to be on my side. I'm working my off every day for Team Kyungsoo. I just need to know that you are on Team Naomi." All of the tears that she thought she'd cried out came flooding back and dripped down her cheeks falling freely into her lap.

All he could do was sit there, convicted. Because that's exactly how he had been feeling. Granted he was missing some important information in being able to properly judge Dr. Kung's character, he had still acted like a jerk.

"You're right. I was more concerned about how I looked to him. I just held him, erroneously, in high regard and you did appear unhinged."

Naomi was about to begin defending her actions but Kyungsoo immediately put up his hands in understanding. "I know, babe. You had every right to defend yourself. It's my fault for not warning you."

"How did everything go so sideways?" she whispered.

"I'm not sure, love, but we'll get through it, right?"

Naomi sat, stunned into silence. He'd called her "love". She closed her eyes and felt almost drowned in the feelings that one, simple, nickname evoked in her. She felt a single tear slip past her eyelid and roll down her cheek.

Kyungsoo saw the sadness in his wife's entire being. He needed to have some kind of confirmation, hope that they would be able to get through this mess; that they could get back to who they used to be.

Nervousness swirled in his stomach, making him regret the heavy meal they'd just finished. Her eyes were still closed so he picked up her hands again and gave a gentle squeeze. "We can get through whatever this is that's going on, right? Please tell me that we're not too far gone, Naomi."

She sniffled and reached over to the nightstand for a tissue. She'd been wondering the same thing herself.

"I don't know Kyungsoo. I just...I feel like while you listen to me, you're not hearing what I'm saying."

His brow furrowed in confusion and he shook his head slightly. "I don't understand."

"Exactly, and that's the problem. I feel like a non-entity, as if I'm this soulless body of skin and bones that is just going through the motions. I hate my job. No, it's beyond that. I loathe my job and all of the people I work with. It's nowhere close to what I thought I would be doing five years after graduating, and it is killing me. I just drift through each day, doing the same routine, and I'm so isolated.

"I hate not having any friends, but I don't really have any kind of opportunity to make friends because the people I spend my days with are horrible. I would rather poke a sharp stick in my eye than go out with them after work. I think I used to have hobbies, but I can't even remember what they were."

Kyungsoo was still confused. "Honey, I thought you were gonna do that mentoring thing. What happened with that?"

"I thought about it, but that would have been a short term solution to a long term problem. Somehow, somewhere along these last few years, I've lost myself. Kyungsoo, I hate the person I've become. I used to be full of creative ideas and a desire to make and do. And that's just slipped away. There have been a few times that I came home eager to make a meal for the both of us, but every time..." she sniffled and in a deep breath trying to talk through the tears that were now falling in copious amounts, "every time, you'd text me and tell me you were covering for someone else, or that Dr. Zhang needed you to stick around a few extra hours. I am never the priority anymore. I feel more like a housekeeper than a wife."

"I was avoiding you." Kyungsoo looked up sadly into Naomi's eyes and hated that she looked like he'd just physically punched her in the stomach. Her eyes grew wide and she began nodding, almost like she expected him to admit as much. She tried to pull away, but he didn't let go this time.

"Before we end this, can I tell you what I've been feeling like?" He wasn't about to let her walk away without hearing him.

She stilled and nodded her head. He was right; she'd dumped all over him, so now it was only fair for him to get to spill his guts.

"Naomi, ever since your diagnosis, I've watched helplessly as you've retreated deeper into this shell. When I would try to be affectionate with you, it was always 'not right now' or 'I don't feel well' or 'I'm too tired'. I gave up trying because you always shut me down. We stopped talking, we didn't go out anymore; we didn't do anything anymore. I... I didn't like spending time at home because I was either getting chewed out for spending too much or I was being ignored in favor of whatever book you were reading. I felt... no, I feel like an outsider in my own home."

She sighed. There were so many things that they needed to work on. But he did have a point. With the way she had been feeling and acting toward him, she wasn't really surprised to hear that he liked being at work better than being at home. But the spending issue needed to be dealt with immediately or they were going to go bankrupt.

"Kyungsoo, we stopped going out because we can't afford it. I know you grew up being able to spend whatever you wanted, but when we made the decision not to accept any help from either of our parents, we also accepted the consequences of that reality. We would be perfectly fine if we didn't have your ca..."

"Don't go there Naomi," he said quietly. It had been a while since she'd brought up his car, but his feelings hadn't changed on it.

Naomi dropped his hands and slipped off the bed. She crossed her arms over her chest and began pacing the eight feet of available space in their bedroom.

"I will go there Kyungsoo. That blasted car has put us this close to bankruptcy," she said loudly pinching her fingers millimeters apart. "If only you could've been satisfied with something used, something cheaper. I blame myself too. I never should've given in on this matter. I knew we wouldn't be able to manage it, but I thought it would make you happy."

Kyungsoo was now up off the bed and standing rigidly on his side, a deep scowl on his face. "Well it's moot anyhow since we owe more on it than we could sell it for. So what's the point in even discussing it?" he growled.

"You're right. There is no point in discussing the car, but the rest of it we can discuss." Naomi then pulled up a bunch of pie charts on her laptop. "This is how much we have each month," she indicated one amount. She then pointed out the rent, the car payment, the student loan payment, and all the utilities and insurance payments. "That leaves two hundred left each month that is supposed to stretch between gas for the car and groceries. When you go and spend twenty bucks here or buy new running shoes there or go on prolonged drives, it literally eats up our food money. And when I try to tell you this, you get mad at me. It's not my fault we're broke!"

"So what am I supposed to do then? Not train? We've already spent the money for entrance fees to the qualifiers. I can't run in crap shoes; I'll destroy my knees. Should I skip lunch at work? Just not eat? That won't get me very far either."

Naomi now understood why money disagreements were the biggest cause of divorce. "Number one, what do you think I eat at work? I bring lunch and you can too. Number two, you could ask your father for some help," she suggested weakly. She knew he'd never do that. He was far too prideful to go 'groveling' to his daddy for money.

He wanted to stand on his on two feet, without the help that his parents had so generously given to his older brother Dahyun and his next oldest sister Mayu. She didn't understand why his pride wouldn't let him ask for just a little bit of help.

"Naomi, you know that's out of the question."

"I know."

"So... I guess I'll just take PB&J's with me to work. I guess it wouldn't hurt to ride my bike more often. But I'm not gonna be able to do that in the winter."

They each took a minute to calm down. The explosive tension was humming around both of them, and neither person wanted to ignite another confrontation.

Kyungsoo was feeling fairly annoyed that his baby was being attacked, again. And that Naomi had still not mentioned anything about the letter that he found on the desk earlier. She was leaning over, hands on her thighs, feeling like she needed to catch her breath after sprinting a mile.

"So is there anything else we need to discuss? Like maybe where the heck Agde is?" Kyungsoo was probing. He wanted answers and if she didn't say something soon, he was going to confront her about it.

Naomi sat back down on the bed, her body turned away from her husband, her back ramrod straight. He'd found something out. And really she couldn't put off telling him any longer anyhow. This was the part she was dreading. She could feel his eyes burning into her and it made her stomach roil with anticipation.

He was either going to shut down or freak out and she wasn't looking forward to either reaction. She took in a long deep breath and just dove in to the mess that was their life now.

"I'm leaving." She said it simply and without preamble.

"When?" his voice was flat and devoid of any kind of reaction. He was shutting down; shutting her out.

"In a week and a half."

"Why?"

"I have to go, Kyungsoo. I have to find myself again. I have to remember who I was before I was your girlfriend, before I was Mrs. Do, before I was damaged goods – dysfuntional."

Kyungsoo pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He really hadn't realized how poorly Naomi felt about herself since they'd learned of her infertility. "Naomi, you're not dysfunctional. There are options out there; it's not the end of the world."

"Don't trivialize how I feel, Kyungsoo! My body doesn't do something it's supposed to do. It's broken and I'm angry that I can't have what Mayu has. I'm angry that I won't ever get to have that feeling of a life that we've created, growing inside of me. I feel totally worthless and I hate that. I need to find that part of me that was creative and full of life and I can't do that here. I'm smothered and I can't remember how to breathe. I had so many dreams, and those dreams exist to be realized, before I brake completely."

"Naomi, please, don't do this. What am I supposed to do without you? How long will you be gone?"

"I'll leave you directions to the grocery store, and the mop is in the hall closet, that's about all you need me for lately anyways," she shrugged, wincing inside, at the acidity of her words. They had the same effect as a sharp slap across Kyungsoo's face. When she registered the hurt in his eyes, she softened her tone and continued, "I'm not sure how long I'll be gone – as long as it takes, I suppose. I'll be in France for at least two months and then after that I don't know."

"How can we pay for this if we can't even afford my car?"

"I'm using my bonus from work as well as part of my inheritance from Grandma Tanya."

Kyungsoo's eyes shot up in surprise, Naomi had never talked about using her grandma's money; that was set aside for a house and retirement and was completely untouchable. He thought she would starve and go before touching that money.

"I thought you were saving that money for a house?"

"I think my sanity and self-worth are a little more important than a house that doesn't even exist, and at this point, may never exist, don't you agree?"

Kyungsoo flinched. How was he supposed to respond to that? Of course he wanted her to feel better about herself, he just didn't think traipsing across the world was the answer. And doing it without him was not an option he wanted to consider.

"Why do you have to go so far away?"

"Kyungsoo, this has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl. We were going to go to France on our honeymoon, but that didn't happen. We went to Mexico instead, because it's what you wanted to do, you thought it would be better, and because med-school, for you, was starting up in two weeks. It's always getting pushed off to the side and if I don't do this now, I don't know that anything else can be fixed. I can't go through life regretting not taking this opportunity. I feel like I've been off track for so long now, I just need to do something completely different." Naomi's voice was starting to rise and get shaky and she didn't want to loose control now, not when she was making her big point.

"I don't know how to do any of the stuff you do around here," he said forlornly, resigned to watching his wife leave him.

"I'll write down the password for the bank website. Everything is on scheduled, automatic withdrawal through the bill pay, but you'll be able to go online and see what's already cleared and stuff. And I'll try and make some food ahead and put it in the freezer..." Her voice trailed off, as a heavy silence filled the air around them.

Kyungsoo reached out and beckoned his hurting, broken wife into his arms. "I wish I could make it all better. I wish I knew how to fix things."

Naomi turned and immediately all of the posturing and fight drained out of her; making a point didn't seem so important, anymore. She scooted toward the embrace that used to be so comfortable, so available, that she'd taken it very much for granted.

"You can't fix everything. I just hope that some day, you'll understand why I need to do this," she whispered.

They sat there, unmoving, while a war was raging in Kyungsoo's heart. This kind of thing didn't happen to him. He'd had everything planned out. Everything was going along like it was supposed to until it wasn't. And now everything he had been so sure of before was hanging by an uncertain thread. It wasn't fair.

It finally hit him.

You really don't realize what you have 'til it's gone.

And at that moment he was watching his entire reason for being slip through his fingers.

He wondered how he had been so careless with something so precious.

He squeezed her a little tighter and tried to fight down the nervousness that bubbled up inside of him as he thought about her walking away from him.

All he could do now was hope that it wouldn't be for good.

Author's Note: Don't worry. We will know what happens with our weds in every step of the way. Trust me, just trust me <3