Naomi slumped on to the bed and took several long, shaky breaths. She could feel the shuddering of a sob bubbling up in her chest and really couldn't do anything to restrain it. And while it was quiet, it shook her body to the core. She couldn't identify one overriding feeling that colored her emotional release, but rather a mix of sadness, anger, frustration, and most of all, relief.

She believed that he hadn't done anything with the bimbo, and that was where the sense of relief came from, but she felt all of the other things because of the whole situation that they'd both created.

After a few moments, she managed to regain a modicum of control over her emotions and was just sitting up when Anastasie knocked on her door and poked her head in.

"Naomi, dinner is almost ready so...Are you all right? Why are you crying?" Anastasie's face morphed from cheerful to genuine concern in a single heartbeat.

"I...I just got off the phone with Kyungsoo." Naomi tried to smile, grabbing a tissue from her nightstand and blowing her nose.

"Has something happened? Is everything okay?"

Naomi took a deep breath and resolved to not over-think the situation. It was over and done with, and wasn't going to happen again. She looked up at Anastasie, thankful for her friendship, and nodded.

"Everything is fine. We're still just trying to figure things out." Anastasie and Naomi had talked about some of the problems that she and Kyungsoo were having before she came to France. She'd been grateful for another sympathetic ear. It was also nice to have Ricky's perspective thrown in on occasion as well.

As the two women entered the kitchen, the heady aromas of bacon and onions cooking with various herbs and spices filled the entire room. Naomi inhaled deeply and peeked into the large pot on the stove.

"What are you making Ana? It smells divine."

"Oh, it's my Grandmother's bouillabaisse. The seafood at the market this morning was amazing."

"I can't wait to try it." Naomi went to the cabinets to get out some bowls for everyone except bébé Alec. Just as she set them on the counter, Ricky walked in waving a large loaf of crusty bread and placed a kiss on Anastasie's cheek as he put the bread down.

Once the meal was served, they all enjoyed light conversation, talking about work, the kids and Naomi's cooking classes. Naomi asked both Anastasie and Ricky what their favorite main course meals were, wanting both a native and a transplant's opinions on the matter. Now that her pastry class was finished, they were starting on main dishes. Only a couple of her classmates had moved on to other pursuits when the first course finished and the second course began. Naomi was relieved that Olivia and Lee were continuing on in the class with her.

Later that evening, as Naomi sat on the front balcony writing in her journal, Anastasie came out with two glasses of grenadine flavored water. She set one glass next to Naomi and settled into the companion chair on the perch overlooking the sleepy town.

"So Naomi, I know you were upset before dinner. Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Naomi marked her page with the attached ribbon and closed her journal. She took a sip from the glass Anastasie offered and rested her head on the back of the chair.

"I'm just trying to come to terms with a few things."

Anastasie nodded in understanding, but didn't press for any details. The all-encompassing serenity that followed Angela was one of the characteristics that Naomi most appreciated.

And serenity was exactly what she needed at that moment. All of the thoughts and feelings she'd been having since leaving Korea were swirling into a huge ball of mental confusion. Her emotions had run the gamut from carefree and happy to anxious, frustrated, and jealous. Kyungsoo's latest revelation was hurtful, but not something she felt like she needed to dwell on. He'd made a mistake, he'd felt bad about it, and apologized.

In fact, after thinking about it, she really wasn't sure what had compelled him to tell her in the first place. If he was truly being honest, and she believed he was, it didn't sound like anything untoward had happened on Kyngsoo's part.

No, after thinking about it for a minute, the thing that was bothering her most at that moment was trying to reconcile her desire to be a mother versus her desire to give birth to a baby.

Mr and Mrs Do alone should've been example enough of what two loving adoptive parents could produce. Seungsoo, Mayu and Kyungsoo had all been adopted. In her mind, she knew that there were millions of children all over the world that needed good homes and good parents. But in her heart, she wasn't quite ready to let go of the idea of a little person that she and Kyungsoo had created, growing in her belly.

"You know, Ricky and I lost a baby." Anastasie's gaze was fixed on the setting sun and her voice, while soft, was laden with all of the gravity that comes with such an emotional burden.

Naomi turned her gaze to Anastasie's face and couldn't help but be jealous of the seraphic expression she wore. How can she be so at peace?

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Anastasie smiled wistfully and looked over at Naomi. "Well, of course you didn't know. How could you?" A quiet settled over the pair as Anastasie looked back at the darkening skyline. "We were much younger; just married actually. The pregnancy was very unexpected, but we were both so happy about it. It was just a few weeks after we found out that I miscarried."

"You must have been heartbroken." Naomi couldn't even begin to imagine knowing that she'd been pregnant only to lose the baby.

"I was sad, but my mother had also experienced several miscarriages. Since I was a teenager when it happened, I understood a little bit what she was going through. She has amazing faith, my mother. She let her faith strengthen her. I tried to do the same when it happened to me, but it was harder for Ricky."

Naomi's eyebrows wrinkled together in thought. She hadn't even considered what it would mean to Ricky. "Why was it harder for Ricky?"

"Well, that baby was as much his as it was mine. He lost just as much as I did when I miscarried. His difficulty was that he had no familiarity with any of that. He was an only child and never talked about that kind of thing with his parents. I think it was hardest for him to see me sad and not know how to help me. You know, like feeling helpless to the person you love; unable to mend the pain."

Naomi soaked in what Anastasie had shared with her. While not the same, their situations were similar enough that Naomi knew Anastasie could sympathize with the heartbreak she'd been feeling over the loss of her fertility.

What she hadn't expected was the visceral reaction she'd had to hearing about Ricky's difficulty in dealing with their loss.

Not being able to fix it?

Feeling helpless to the person you love?

Unable to mend the pain?

Had Kyungsoo felt that way?

The questions screamed through Naomi's mind as she tried to analyze everything she could remember from that period of time when the doctors told them a natural pregnancy would be unlikely to occur.

Naomi then thought about everything she knew about her husband: his intellect, his sensitive nature, his caring heart. What had he felt? How did Kyungsoo feel when he saw his broken wife?

Selfishly, Naomi hadn't even considered what he might have been feeling when they were given the bad news. She'd been so shrouded in her own grief and sadness, that she hadn't even considered his. Now she felt horrible.

"Thank you for sharing this with me, Ana."

"I know we talked a little about your problems before, so I thought maybe this might help."

"You seem so at peace with it now. How did you get to that place?"

"It was hard. Especially when we were ready to have a baby. There was scar tissue left from the miscarriage. The doctors said not to hope. I had to let go of all the things I thought should be happening and make the best of all the things that actually were happening. After several years, we decided to try to adopt. It was only a few months after we brought Janie home that we found out we were pregnant with bébé Alec."

Naomi was pretty sure that she'd read that somewhere before, the idea of letting go of things she couldn't change. She couldn't control everything, least of all the inner-workings of her reproductive system, but she could control her attitude. It didn't really lessen the sting of not being able to conceive, but maybe she could look forward with more hope.

That would be her new goal.

Naomi woke the next morning feeling refreshed and a little bit lighter than the day before. After a brief detour to Madame Toussaint's bakery, she caught the bus that would take her to Ness's apartment where they'd planned to meet for their sight-seeing excursion to Villefranche-de-Conflent. She'd done a bit of homework and discovered that the woman at the heart of the "affaire des poisons", had been imprisoned there at the Fort Libèria. It was that scandal that prompted King Louis the XIV to have all of his food tasted by servants before he consumed it, to ensure that it was not tainted.

Naomi was strangely intrigued by the morbidity associated with the fort. She was also excited to walk down the longest underground stairway in the world.

Ness and Jongin were waiting, hand-in-hand outside of their apartment building when Naomi descended from the bus. She had no problem greeting Ness with the common little cheek kisses, typical of the French culture. It was slightly more awkward with Jongin, though for him it seemed it was a non-issue. That's just how he rolled or as he usually said, "It's normal!"

As they started down the street to the train station Jongin asked, "How are things with Keeunsoo ? Is everything okay now?"

Ness made the tongue-clicking noise at Jongin's choice of conversation starters, but then turned to Naomi, seeming just as interested in her response.

"Things are getting better. Just don't go and answer my phone again and we should be okay."

"I really am sorry about that Naomi. I didn't mean to cause a problem."

Naomi shook her head lightly as she adjusted the small backpack she'd brought with her. "I know; let's just forget about it, okay?"

"Okay, chérie."

"And knock it off with the chérie business." Naomi pointed her finger in Jongin's direction and tried her best to look serious.

"Right away, madame!" Jongin's quick salute and clacking his heals together made that nearly impossible. The trio continued to make small talk as they bought their tickets for the train and boarded.

As the train pulled out of the station and rattled down the coast, Naomi lost herself in the passing scenery. She was mesmerized by the blurred fields of bright, yellow sunflowers and the neatly ordered rows of grapevines that covered the rolling hills. She then imagined Kyungsoo running along windy dirt roads through the French countryside. She tried to distract herself with other things, but her mind was singularly focused.

Once the train began heading west, the landscape changed from rolling hills to steeper rocky hills and low mountains. After disembarking from the train, they found the shuttle that would take them to the fort which sat on top of the hill. Jongin was rambling about all of the torture devices he wanted to see and the cell where the Marquise of Brinvilliers was kept. Naomi rolled her eyes at his almost juvenile behavior, and stepped off the bus when it stopped.

They still had to hike a little ways up to get to the fort, but once they were standing on the battlements overlooking the the quaint little town of Villefranche, they all concluded that it was worth it. Naomi glanced at the time again and sighed, catching the notice of Ness. They'd talked a little during the train ride about the Marathon and how worried Naomi was for Kyungsoo.

"He'll be fine, Naomi. You look so worried; I don't think you will enjoy yourself." Ness wrapped her arm around Naomi's slim shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "Come on, one of my American friends said we had to go look in the chapel."

From then on, both Ness and Jongin did their utmost to keep Naomi's mind off the time and the event that was currently underway across the Atlantic Ocean. They went on the tour, saw replicas of most of the torture devices that had been employed there at the prison and finally got to see the chapel.

The room was small, presumably because only the available guards and whatever cleric stationed at the fort would've used the little sanctuary. Naomi took in the restored stained glass windows and the couple of benches and then she turned to face the altar.

It was protected behind a large wrought iron fence to keep nosy tourists from stealing the relics or defacing the statues. And that's what caught her eye. When she looked closer at the three statues nestled into their own niches in the wall, the giggles bubbled up in and out of , only barely restrained.

Ness's eyebrows pinched together in confusion and Jongin looked at Naomi like she'd lost her mind.

"I don't understand. Why are you laughing?" Ness asked.

"It's just Peter, Paul, and Mary," quipped Jongin.

"Exactly! Don't you get it?" Naomi was in large volumes of air, making her a bit lightheaded, as she doubled over with more laughter.

She was able to catch the perplexed exchanged between Ness and Jongin before she straightened up and tried to get a hold of herself. "Peter, Paul, and Mary? They're a folk singing trio in America. They're, like really famous performers." Jongin and Ness just looked at her wearing blank expressions. "Oh, just forget it. I just...it struck me as funny. I guess I'm more easily excitable since I've been waiting for Kyungsoo's call all day."

"Maybe I'll look them up at Voila or Google," said Ness with a shrug.

"Are you ready for les mille marches?" Jongin asked, clapping his hands together and sliding them back and forth eagerly.

"I'm ready for the food that's at the bottom of those steps," answered Naomi. She hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and she had only just noticed that her stomach felt like it might turn itself inside out with hunger.

"Well, then let's go!"

The trio followed the signs to a rough-hewn archway that opened to a narrow and dimly lit tunnel of stairs. There were lights every twenty feet or so and a handrail that was obviously installed in the much more recent history of the stairway.

Naomi glanced down the creepy-looking tunnel and started having second thoughts. It was awfully cramped and dark. "Maybe we should just take the shuttle back..."

"This is the whole reason we are here! Come. It's not so bad. We can go really quick like this," Jongin said, making a strange chopping motion upward into the underside of his other palm. "Before you know it, we'll be down in the city!"

"Yeah, me and fast don't go well together, but you're right. I would regret it if I didn't do this. You guys go ahead of me; that way if I trip, Jongin can break my fall."

Jongin rolled his eyes, while Ness just laughed as they headed into the tunnel. Naomi checked her phone once more, steeled her nerves and started down the steps.

They were rough and uneven, the rises also varying greatly from step to step, making it difficult for her to properly gauge her tread. But the coolness of being underground was a nice contrast to the heat they'd experienced while walking the grounds of the fort. She tried to count the steps to keep her mind off of everything else, but she lost count when her foot skidded on a patch of loose gravel. The worried-sounding, "Whoa," escaped her lips without thought, causing Jongin to whirl around and steady her by the waist. He dropped his hands as soon as she was stable and raised an eyebrow questioning if she was all right.

Naomi nodded once and they continued down the stairs. They were probably about halfway down when a wave of nausea and dizziness overcame her. She stopped and tried to catch her breath as her empty stomach churned. She could feel a strange heat flash across her face, giving her just enough warning that she was able to sit down, avoiding a true tumble.

"Ness!" Naomi called out weakly.

When Ness poked her head around Jongin's formidable breadth, her eyes widened and she pressed past him and was at Naomi's side in moments. "What's wrong? You are white as a ghost!"

"I...I don't know. I just all of a sudden got dizzy and I feel like I'm going to vomit, but there's nothing in there to throw up." Naomi closed her eyes and leaned her head on the cool stone of the tunnel wall.

"Do you have some water in your pack?" Jongin asked from a few steps below.

"Yeah, I should have some."

Ness helped Naomi to remove the pack and fished out a bottle of Volvic, twisting off the cap and handing it to her.

"Small sips, yeah?" Ness encouraged.

Naomi did just that, letting the tepid water slide down in slow, measured draughts. After a few minutes she was starting to feel better. "Wow. I don't know where that came from."

"Maybe it was something you ate?"

"I don't know. I had bouillabaisse last night. Maybe there was a bad shrimp or something?"

"That must be it. If sea food are not as fresh as possible, you never know what can happen." Ness gave Naomi an appraising glance and asked, "Feeling better? Are you ready to keep going?"

"Yeah, let's just go slow, okay?"

"Of course. Ah, ma belle. I feel bad because I made you go down the steps." Jongin's expression was full of sympathy and remorse.

"It's not your fault my stomach had a bad reaction to last night's dinner. I'm glad we came." Naomi waved away his concern as she stood back up. Ness shouldered Naomi's pack as they continued down the steps.

Naomi took a huge lungful of fresh air as soon as they broke out onto the old paved pathway that led them into the little city. They'd managed to make it down the rest of the steps without incident and Naomi, while glad to have had the experience was even more glad to check that off her list of things-to-do and say, "Been there, done that."

Instinctively she checked her phone but her service was still not established. They were in a valley surrounded by mountains, and she was becoming less and less optimistic that she'd be able to get a signal before they left the city. Pocketing her phone she turned to her sight-seeing companions and said, "J'ai faim. Je voudrais un peu de pain."

Jongin laughed heartily and smiled, " Well said. Let's go!"

They found a lovely little restaurant and ordered dinner. And while the ambiance was perfect, Naomi could not enjoy it. She was certain that Kyungsoo had probably called her by now; it was nearly five o'clock in the afternoon. Provided nothing happened, he should've finished close to an hour ago.

Naomi sighed as she sipped the last of her rich onion soup and nibbled on the hunk of baguette that was brought with her meal. "When does our train leave?"

"Not for another hour," replied Jongin, looking at his watch.

"Oh."

"Why don't we go find some postcards to send to your family?"

Naomi smiled at Ness's thoughtful suggestion and nodded in agreement. Once they'd explored the limited number of merchants and shops they headed toward the train station.

Again, Naomi pulled her phone out and as they neared the platform, and finally, the display showed that she had a weak signal. Like magic, her phone jumped to life with several pings and buzzes alerting her to missed messages and texts.

*Where are you?

*Please call back!

*Are you okay? I'm worried.

She deleted the text messages and listened to the voicemail. Kyungsoo's voice was somewhat breathless and labored. It was hard to get a read on his state of emotions, though she thought he sounded excited.

Keeping her fingers crossed that the signal would hold, she dialed Kyungsoo's number and waited. Just before the voicemail picked up, he answered.

"Naomi! Are you okay? You didn't answer. Why didn't you answer?" Kyungsoo's voice was weary and hoarse, which Naomi chalked up to breathing hard while running twenty-six miles.

"Hey, I'm fine. I was in those underground stairs and lost signal until just a second ago. I'm so sorry you couldn't reach me. Tell me, tell me! How did you do? Did you make it?" Naomi could feel her face tighten with hope and an anticipatory smile stretching across her lips.

Naomi allowed herself to be herded onto the waiting train and plopped down in her seat as she awaited Kyungsoo's response. Ness and Jacob, both having overheard most of the conversation, also held looks of optimism. Jongin went so far as to hold two thumbs up with questioning eyebrows raised.

"Three hours and seventeen minutes," Kyungsoo replied. The excitement and anticipation melted from her face and Naomi's heart broke for her husband.

Jongin leaned forward slightly, asking with his body language if it was good or bad news. The terse shake of Naomi's head and the frown pulling her lips down confirmed that it was not good news.

Kyungsoo had been working so hard for the last several months and to miss it by seven minutes was just...awful.

She knew how important this was to him. He would not take this loss well. She was about to say something to the effect that he could try again and he'd be sure to make it next time. But those words struck too close to home.

The last thing she wanted to hear from anyone when she'd had a negative pregnancy test was, "It's okay. You can try again."

She couldn't say those words to Kyungsoo, but she wasn't sure how to convey the depth of her feelings without sounding patronizing.

"Oh, honey. I don't even have the words...I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I don't know...I'm just...I'm sorry."

A/N: So... Naomi character development here too!

I felt good today because I'm going to see Mockingjay Part 2 tonight and I had the upbeat pump to do another chapter. Too bad I couldn't see it on the premiere night, CURSE YOU WORK! I think it's time for me to prepare a box of tissues, just in case. ^^ Thanks for reading!

Translations

bouillabaisse : Soup common in the Mediterranean region of France, commonly full of various chunks of fish, shrimp, clams, mussels, sea urchin. The recipes vary.

l'affaire des poisons : The Marquise of Brinvilliers conspired with her lover to poison her brothers and father in order to inherit their land. She was forced to confess, tortured, forced to drink 16 pints of water, beheaded and burned at the stake. The lover died of natural causes 6 years later. This event sparked a lengthy investigation and resulted in the "conviction" and deaths of many other people.

Voila: A popular French search engine

Les mille marches : The thousand steps

Volvic : Popular brand of bottled water in France.

ma belle : my beautiful

J'ai faim. Je voudrais un peu de pain. : I'm hungry. I would like some bread.