Screen, Gel, and a Wand

A Faded Memory

"Stop! What do you mean the baby is fine?"

It had to be the bump on her head that was making her hear things; things that were impossible and ridiculous. Kyungsoo's hand gripped her shoulder a little tighter than before, easing her body back to its reclining position.

"I mean your baby. You are pregnant, no?"

"Uh…NO! I just had my period a couple weeks ago and we haven't been intimate in two months. I…it's just…No. It's not possible. I can't conceive. The doctors said that there was only a…"

"Only a thirty to forty percent chance that you could conceive naturally," Kyungsoo said, as he smoothed his hands over Naomi's shoulders and up to her cheeks. "That means it's not impossible." His eyes were shining with emotion; and was that hope there, too?

"But then," her eyebrows pinched together in confusion, "why did I have a period?" She was not going to allow herself to get worked up over something that, at this point, was still very much theoretical in her mind.

"We cannot say for sure, but the blood work, as well as the ultrasound, confirms that you are, in fact, pregnant."

"Dr. Girard, can you bring an ultrasound machine in so that we can see for ourselves?" Kyungsoo's voice was light but full of the confidence and authority that came from being in his element.

"Of course. Bien sûr. I'll be back in a few moments."

Naomi was hardly aware of the doctor leaving. Her mind was in complete chaos, trying to understand how she possibly could've had a period and still be pregnant. It just didn't make sense. She could feel her lip quivering and the tightness in her eyes and cheeks that came just before the tears.

"Don't cry, sweetheart. This is a good thing. This is a very good thing." Kyungsoo had situated himself on the bed facing Naomi holding both her hands which had become limp with shock.

"Do you think it's possible?" Somehow that sneaky little seed of hope had started to take root in her mind and she couldn't help but imagine the possibilities.

"The blood tests are pretty accurate. How have you been feeling? Any nausea? Tiredness?" He ran the pad of his thumb over Naomi's forehead and around behind her ear, sending a frisson of excitement through her body.

While the questions were all very typical of Dr. Do, the concerned tone of voice and the love shining through his features let her know that it was actually her Kyungsoo that was asking.

Naomi closed her eyes and leaned back on the inclined hospital bed, her hands still curled around Kyungsoo's, mulling over all the different physical symptoms she might've overlooked. "I've had a little nausea, but I chalked it up to bad seafood I'd eaten the night before. And I suppose I've been feeling a little bit more tired than usual, but I figured that was from all the sightseeing we've been doing and from standing up for so long in the kitchen at school." She opened her soft, small eyes and looked directly into Kyungsoo's owl ones. "I never even dreamed about the possibility that it could be anything different. But that still doesn't explain the bleeding."

Kyungsoo glanced down at their clasped hands and seemed to be in deep thought before he said anything. Then, he looked at her, expression sober but not grim. "There are a number of things that could cause bleeding early on in a pregnancy. Let's wait and see what the ultrasound shows before we talk too much more about it, okay?"

"Okay." Naomi sat up, wincing a little with the soreness that came from rolling and tumbling down a hill. Her ribs were a bit tender, and her shoulder throbbed as well. She was probably due for another pain pill soon, but they made her feel thick-headed and sleepy, and she didn't want to be in such an altered state while Kyungsoo was there.

"When was the last time they gave you something for pain?" Kyungsoo asked, probably having noticed her grimace.

She grumbled a bit under her breath, "Stupid, mind-reading doctor people," and then sighed in frustration. She didn't like being injured. She liked even less having to take medication that made her feel loopy.

"I'll call for one after the ultrasound. I don't want to be knocked out again when they do it." That was the only thing Naomi could work out in her mind: She must have been unconscious when they did the first ultrasound because she had absolutely no recollection of the procedure.

Just as she finished speaking, Dr. Girard knocked twice and wheeled in the cart with the ultrasound machine on it. After plugging it in and allowing the computer to boot up, he started pressing buttons and typing her information into the system.

"Bon. Shall we take a look at your little bébé?"

"Yes, please!" Kyungsoo said eagerly.

Naomi was a bit more reserved in nodding her assent. She was still nervous about allowing herself to get into the dream too quickly. But if she was really and truly honest with herself, she'd plunged headlong into that dream as soon as the doctor said the word bébé.

Kyungsoo took his seat next to Naomi and grasped her hand. Once the blankets were arranged to expose her stomach, the doctor applied the blue gel to her abdomen and began pressing the wand around in a small circle.

Naomi glanced at the monitor but couldn't appreciate anything more than staticky-looking fuzz. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, was glued to the black and white screen. He was staring with rapt attention and Naomi was staring, transfixed, at him. When he gasped she turned sharply to the monitor as well.

"Là! Vous voyez? The doctor pointed to a little whitish kidney-bean-shaped blob on the screen. He zoomed in for a closer look an in the middle of that little bean was a tiny little spot that appeared to be fluttering.

"That's the heart beating," murmured Kyungsoo into Naomi's ear.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered. Just then a loud whoosh whoosh whoosh echoed through the room.

With each thump of that teeny tiny heart, her own filled with such a wide range of emotions she was sure it would burst at any moment. She turned to look at her husband, overflow tears spilling down her cheeks as she choked out a sobbing, "I…I'm...pr…preg…nant."

Kyungsoo squeezed Naomi's hand tightly and pressed a kiss to her temple. "We're gonna have a baby."

They were both over the moon with the visual confirmation of Naomi's pregnancy; their face-splitting grins showed no sign of dimming. Kyungsoo explained to Naomi what the doctor was doing as he took some measurements and made a few notations. Dr. Girard then began pressing the wand a little lower and swirling it around the same place a few times.

"Well, it's most likely that the accident caused the spotting but it is unclear what may have caused the bleeding you had a few weeks ago. It was probably decidual tissue."

"What is that?" Naomi asked, looking directly at Kyungsoo, giving him permission with her eyes to assume the role of Dr. Do.

"Really it's just a hormonally stimulated collection of menstrual-like tissue that can often be confused with a miscarriage or a heavy period," Kyungsoo explained. His expression was guarded but still held a light of confidence and surety.

Naomi's continued to stare at him blankly and then raised her eyebrows in question.

"Um, basically just some extra blood and tissue that's not related to the pregnancy. Since it's pretty clear from the ultrasound that the heart is beating and everything else looks okay, there's probably nothing to worry about," he restated in terms slightly more understandable.

Nodding, Naomi whispered, "Okay," drawing strength from Kyungsoo's knowledge.

Dr. Girard was still tapping on the computer attached to the ultrasound machine when he said, "We'll keep you here for one more night, just to make sure you are well enough to go home, but I would recommend staying here in France and resting for a few more days. When you return home to Korea, make sure you see your doctor there to discuss the best plan of action for you and your bébé."

"I'm sure Anastasie and…Oh my gosh! I need to call Ana. She's probably worried sick. I was supposed to be home last night and the airport and all my stuff is still there at the Chêniers apartment. Where's my phone?" Naomi's panic was evident as her head turned from side to side, looking desperately around the room for her cell phone.

"Calm down, hon. I think Jongin still has it. He's the one who called me."

"Oh," her body relaxed as she took in that bit of information. As she thought further about the implications of Jongin calling Kyungsoo she said, "I'm sorry. That probably didn't go over very well, huh?"

"It got me to you. That's all that matters. I'll give him a call as soon as Dr. Girard is finished."

They both looked at the doctor who was printing out several still images from the ultrasound. He tore the long strip off of the printer and handed them to Kyungsoo. "All finished!" declared Doctor Girard, as he wiped the gel off of Naomi's stomach and pulled the blanket up to her waist. "So, Naomi, tonight you rest, monitor if there is any more bleeding and hopefully tomorrow we can release you."

"Thank you for everything, Doctor." Kyungsoo stood and shook Doctor Girard's hand.

"It was my pleasure. I'll send in the nurse with some pain relief, yes?"

Naomi sighed a doleful, "Oui," with a chagrined look on her face. Doctor Girard nodded once and left the room quietly. Kyungsoo pulled his phone out and dialed Naomi's number.

"Uh, Jongin? It's Kyungsoo. Can you bring Naomi's phone to the hospital? Yeah. Room 309. Okay. Thanks." He was by her side, holding her hand, as soon as he disconnected the call.

"I still can't believe it." Naomi said, looking out the window at the rapidly darkening sky.

"I know. It's not really sinking in yet." Kyungsoo also seemed to be lost in thought, though his eyes never strayed from her face.

She turned her gaze away from the window and smiled at him.

Exhaustion radiated from his slumped posture to the circles under his eyes. But his smile was bright, and if he was wiped out, he said nothing about it to her.

A knock sounded on the door and Naomi called out a gentle, "Entrez," admitting Nurse Danielle into the room. She handed the small paper cup with the pain pill to Naomi while Kyungsoo brought the cup of water closer to her reach.

"Merci, Danielle." Naomi smiled kindly at the gentle nurse before returning to a reclined position.

"De rien, Naomi. Have a good rest." Danielle grinned and winked at Kyungsoo as she backed out of the room.

Naomi picked up the folded sheet of ultrasound pictures and began examining them more closely. She couldn't help the wide grin that drew her lips up to what felt like her eyebrows as she looked at their little bean.

I wonder when the due date is? The thought occurred to her. She'd been so shocked she hadn't done a very good job at following what Doctor Girard was saying during the ultrasound.

"Kyungsoo, did doctor Girard mention when the due date was?" Naomi through Kyungsoo's messy hair. He had leaned forward, folding his arms on top of the bed and resting his chin on one of his fists.

"I think he said second week of February. He said that it looked like the fetus was measuring at about nine to ten weeks." His eyes were closed so he didn't see the furrowed brow or the frown that she wore.

"Baby."

"Huh?" Kyungsoo opened his eyes and immediately frowned at the dismayed look on his wife's face.

"Please don't use words like fetus or embryo or whatever. It sounds dehuminazing. This is our baby. Fetus just sounds too clinical; like it's not a real person, just a thing."

Kyungsoo was quiet for a moment before responding, "You're right. Baby it is," he replied. He closed his eyes once more and returned to his resting posture.

Naomi started counting back the weeks trying to think of exactly when she might've gotten pregnant. "Oh!" she exclaimed.

"Hm?" Kyungsoo hummed, his eyes still closed.

"Honey, this...this happened the night before I left."

Slowly, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. His smile was colored with a hint of sadness when he said, "Yeah, I guess it did." He brought her hand to his lips and placed a soft, lingering kiss to her knuckles.

He'd asked her that night before she left to just let him love her.

Despite all of the hurt and struggle they were having at that time, this child was still created in love.

She'd suspended all of the heartache and sadness - they both had, really - and just loved each other like they hadn't done in a very long time. Knowing their baby was created that night, added a whole new meaning to that point in their marriage.

Kyungsoo stretched and let out a long yawn. Naomi was about to suggest he use the reclining chair to get some sleep when she heard the light tapping on the door. Kyungsoo stood and moved to his wife's side so they could see who was coming in.

A second entrez from Naomi brought Jongin and Ness into her room. They, too, looked tired and disheveled. Olivia and Lee came shuffling in right behind them in no better state of dress or alertness. Olivia's eyes were bright with tears as she skirted around the bed and leaned in to give Naomi a tender, almost motherly hug. "We've been so worried about you, darling!"

"I'm okay. They said I could probably leave tomorrow. I just need to get a hold of Anastasie, she's probably worried sick."

"Ah, oui. She called and we explained about the accident. She said to call her when you were ready and that you were more than welcome to stay with them if you needed to." As he relayed the message Jongin looked almost shy and unsure, which was a complete contrast to his usual gregarious nature. Naomi noticed, though, that he kept shooting side glances at Kyungsoo, probably trying to gauge his reaction to Jongin's interfering with Naomi's phone - again.

It took a moment but finally Naomi realized that everyone was looking at Kyungsoo. Shaking her head she glanced back at Kyungsoo and beamed. "Everyone? This is my husband, Kyungsoo."

They all took turns shaking hands and introducing themselves, though Kyungsoo had probably learned enough from his chats and emails with Naomi that he behaved as though he already knew them. He saved shaking Jongin's hand for last, though, gripping it firmly.

For a moment there was a tense battle of wills going on. A significant look seemed to pass between the two men before they both nodded and the stepped away from each other.

When Kyungsoo was standing as close to Naomi as the hospital bed would allow, he cleared his throat and said, "Thank you - all of you - for helping my wife." He said the last two words with emphasis directly at Jongin. He paused and took a deep breath and looked down at his wife. "You have no idea how much it means to me to know that she had such good friends here."

The exhaustion of the last twenty-four hours was wearing down the strong front Kyungsoo had been putting on. While he had shown himself vulnerable to Naomi, he'd managed - up until now - to keep calm and collected with others. But now, as a few glassy tears dribbled down his face and his voice shook, his soul was bared to everyone. He swiped at the errant drops with the back of his hand and leaned over to place a kiss on Naomi's cheek.

A slight gasp caught both Kyungsoo and Naomi's attention. Olivia's gaze was fixated on the strip of photographs that were still lying in Naomi's lap. She pointed and started wagging her finger excitedly.

"Are those…Are you?" She was gasping and sputtering leaving Lee, Jongin, and Ness completely perplexed.

When Naomi nodded that Olivia was right, the squeal she let loose could probably be heard all the way to Italy. "Oh my dear! Really?"

"Really," Naomi smiled as a new batch of tears ran down her face.

"What is it?" Jongin asked, only slightly irritated that he was in the dark.

Ness elbowed his gut and whispered, "Naomi est enceinte, idiot," glaring at him for missing the obvious.

"Eh?" Jongin was more confused now than ever.

Ness then jabbed her finger toward the little black and white photos. "Those are pictures of the bébé," she whispered again.

"Je ne vois rien. It's just a white spot," Jongin retorted, squinting further at the photos.

Ness shook her head glaring her emerald murderous eyes at the density of her boyfriend, while Naomi began to chuckle. "It's okay, Ness. It looks like a little white bean to me, too."

The foursome stayed for a few minutes longer, discussing trains and buses and what would be the best way to get Naomi back to Agde. Kyungsoo informed them of his plan to rent a car, so the visiting friends decided it would be okay for them to return back to Agde that evening.

While Kyungsoo was using the bathroom to clean up and change into his sweats, Naomi called Anastasie and gave her the short version of what was happening. Everything, that was, except the baby news. She wanted to share that in person. Yawning and stretching as best she could despite the soreness of her muscles, she tried to close her eyes, but her brain was still turning. Even though the pain pill had started to kick in, making her sleepy, she still couldn't shut her thoughts off. She huffed and threw the covers back.

"Kyungsoo, hon, I need your help to the bathroom again."

He jumped up and cheerfully helped Naomi to the bathroom and waited patiently as she washed what she could of her face and neck. She combed her fingers through her tangled hair, not having brought her brush on the excursion. She was greatly relieved when she'd found no additional spotting or bleeding. Once she was tucked into bed, she finally felt like she could sleep, though there was one little thought that wouldn't be silenced.

"Kyungsoo?" Naomi's voice shook with nervousness.

"What is it, love? Do you need something?" He sat up from the recliner, looking at her with concern.

"I'm scared."

He was quiet for a moment, then shrugged off the thin, green hospital blanket and stood up. He brushed his hand over the uninjured side of Naomi's head and settled down on the bed to face her. As he nodded, he drew her forward into an encapsulating embrace and whispered, "I am too."


A/N: So we've got two more chapters and an epi. Let me know what you think. So, now that we got a few chapters left and I'm going to finish on time, I'm going to update one chapter per day; the last chapter will be on Saturday morning. I live in California, just to be be clear on the time zone ^^Thanks so much for reading!

Translations

Bébé : Baby

Là! Vous voyez?: There! You see?

Entrez: Come in, enter

Merci/De Rien: Thank you/You're welcome

Naomi est enceinte, idiot: Naomi is pregnant, idiot

Je ne vois rien: I don't see anything

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Comments

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abcd20 #1
Chapter 21: A really beautiful story..glad u take your time to develop the phase that they were going through!! I do really like it.
ackerwoman
#2
Chapter 21: This is so beautifully written as if it was a published material I'd read offline. Thank you for writing such a masterpiece (:
ackerwoman
#3
Chapter 16: I knew things like this gonna happen urgh
ackerwoman
#4
Chapter 12: Lately, she's been feeling nausea and such. Is she pregnant?
ackerwoman
#5
Chapter 11: Yes, communication is the key but I didn't expect kyungsoo got the guts to explain his current situation to his family and seeing his family is being so supportive, it warms my heart. That's just beautiful in so many ways.
ackerwoman
#6
Chapter 7: I'm bawling my eyes out again, thank you.
ackerwoman
#7
Chapter 5: Thank you so much for the glossary! I understood some words but mostly lost when there are too many words compiled and that helps so much. Thank you!
ackerwoman
#8
Chapter 4: I'm not aware if I'm writing the same reaction compared to down below because I hate spoiler but I have to say, this breaks my heart so much. Both of them have their own priority and there's no one to blame even though it seems like kyungsoo was the one who at fault but he's equally the victims too. I'm so proud of you for writing such a beautiful masterpiece and showing the younger readers that there are ups and downs in marriage. Most importantly, you did some thorough research, before putting facts in and thank you for that. I know there's more to read but I'm just gonna send my appreciation first before I start bawling and got too in-depth with the character spiritually.
ackerwoman
#9
Chapter 1: This chapter literally breaking my heart into pieces.
MissMong24 #10
Chapter 13: I feel like it’s so rare to see a male character depicted like in a story :’) Look at Kyungsoo being all raw and acting like a little boy! i love you so much dear author!