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FrontingI hope Wonwoo could understand that the problem is not just about people talking bad behind my back,
but the trauma that I have since I was a little kid. I hope I could tell everything to him but I just couldn’t
say anything when I’m with him. Maybe I am to blinded by him.
People might think that I should have live my life without listening to other people’s saying, but I just cannot.
They way people treated me in the past made me afraid to open up my heart or even live my life just like what
I wanted. I wish I could be someone that never care about what people say.
I don’t know that Wonwoo would arrived at school so early to leave bread and milk on my table again today.
I thought he was tired from last night because he just spent more than hours soaked under the rain, but he
arrived fast? And I found it cute when he always put the same bread and milk on my table when I didn’t even ask him.
He knows that I like cheese cream bread and strawberry milk, that’s adorable. Even though I don’t even know
what’s my relationship now with Wonwoo, but I will still be his friend to pay back all the things that he did to me.
I was on my way to the rooftop but when I walked by the men’s toilet, I heard people shouting and there are
sounds that made me wanted to know what’s happened inside. Automatically I just stopped right in front of
the door, tighten my fist then decided to just barged in whatever will happens to me later.
Even though my decision was extremely wrong, but when I saw who’s the one in front of me, I thought that
my decision wasn’t bad at all. He was being punched by a gang of students, they even kicked him, didn’t even
let him to stand up. I don’t know why another student didn’t do anything at all to help Mingyu and just
watched them from a far. They are all looking at me strangely because I was just barging in to men’s toilet,
but I don’t care, I had this urge to help Mingyu no matter what.
“Mingyu!” I rushed to take his hand even though my body was accidentally being kicked by the other.
And when they stopped, I knew something bad would happened to me. For a second, I really regret
on why should I screw everything that I built from the start just for saving this retarded boy?
“What are you doing here? This is not ladies’ toilet!” Said one of the gang member. I don’t know
who is he, but I often saw him being punished by the teacher almost everyday.
“What are you doing to Mingyu?”
Then another gang member held the previous boy from walking closer to me, “Let’s finish this,
she might report us to the teacher. We already kicked that damn boy enough anyway.”
I thought when I saved him, Mingyu would say thank you or anything, but he literally dragging me
off the toilet and pushed me to the wall. I don’t even know that he still have that much of energy
after being punched and kicked for that long.
Then he walked closer to my face, cornering me to the wall. “You shouldn’t have helped me at all,
I don’t need your help.” his voice was so different than yesterday, and today he’s really scary.
“What the hell? I just saved you from death, Kim Mingyu!”
“You are not helping at all.”
He turned around and walked but suddenly stopped then looked at me behind, “Don’t you want
to say thank you to me?”
“What? Why should I?”
“Forget it.”
He is really confusing. I shouldn’t have interrupted him and just let him die, I don’t need him anyway.
He just added burden to my life, Mingyu is not important. I really don’t like him now.
Wonwoo waited in front of my class after the school finished, and that made people started whispering
to each other again. I can’t believe he just held my hands and smiling with his sweetest smile ever, telling me
to just don’t hear anyone. Once again, I hope I could tell him that it’s not just about people talking about me.
“Do you want to go somewhere before going home?”
Yes, but seeing him in this state, it became ‘no’. He really at hiding something from me, if he acted like
he’s healthy then he failed. I could see his eyes sunken, and even his lips became really pale. Even when he
held my hand, it’s really cold. But I know, this kid won’t let people see his weak side.
“Let’s take a bus then go home. I will walk you home.”
Then he laughed, “Are you being the guy in the relationship now? I should be the one who walk you home, Ahri.”
No, I don’t want to let him walk by himself in this condition. “You always walked me home even in the middle
of the night, or when it’s raining. Walking you home once in the daylight won’t be a burden for me. And our house
is not far anyway, my house just few blocks from yours, right?”
I thought after walked him home, I could back right after, but he stopped me and told me stay for a while.
While watching the television, I couldn’t stop looking at his face, I really wanted him to sleep but he just don’t want to.
“Wonwoo?”
“Hmm?”
I took out my lipbalm, then applied it to his lips. “Your lips is really pale, you looked sick, it’s ugly.”
He smiled after I applied the cherryflavored lipbalm on his lips and slowly moved closer to my face.
When his lips and mine touched, I could feel the sweetness of cherry and his lips on mine, and I will never get bored of it.
“Next time if you wanted to take care of me, just say it. Saying that you wanted to walk me home once and
applied lipbalm on mine was a very lame excuse, you know?”
I was flustered, how could he know everything? “Alright then, you have to sleep now, Jeon Wonwoo!”
Right after I left Wonwoo’s house, my phone vibrated continuedly with many snapchat notifications.
It was all Mingyu, sending his selfie with ‘I’m sorry, Noona!” caption everywhere. How could he apologize
this easy after pushing me to the wall and yelled right in front of my face? Funny.
As usual, there are always bread and milk on my table everyday. I don’t know that Wonwoo would be this
consider to me by giving me breakfast everyday? He’s the one who needs more food, just by looking at his body,
it’s almost all bone and skin. I’m envious of him, no matter how much he eats, he just won’t gain weight.
But being super skinny is scary though.
And it’s almost been a week since the last time I saw Mingyu at school. Is he avoiding me? Shouldn’t I be the
one who avoid him, right? Where is he?
“Ahri, what’s this?”
“I made you fried rice for your lunch.”
He opened the lunch box, smiling. “But why so suddenly?”
“This is a little ‘thank you’ from me since you always gave me bread and milk constantly every morning.
You don’t have to give me anymore since I always had breakfast at home.”
“Constantly every morning?”
“Yes, you don’t have to arrive early to put them on my table anymore, Wonwoo.”
“Oh... Okay...”
“Why? That was you, right?”
Suddenly few of my classmate sate on the same table as Wonwoo and I, greeted us like they really close with us.
I hate this, they acted like they like me when they just wanted to sit near Wonwoo.
“Look at this, this guy sure know he is the . Too bad his behavior is just a no.” Said one them while looking
at the phone together with her friends.
“By the way, where is he? I haven’t met him these days? He usually picked a guy with a random
passing person though.”
“I heard that the Kim Mingyu and other guys are now being punished for two weeks because they fought
in the toilet few days ago, so he couldn’t attend school for a while.”
“Really?”
“Yes!” then one of the girl named Jisoo looked at me, followed by the other girls, “They said that you saved Mingyu
that day. Wow, I don’t know you have such a brave to barge in to the fight in the toilet that’s full with guys.
You’re really great, Jung Ahri!”
“Pardon?”
“Mingyu must owe you a lifetime for saving him in the situation then.”
But I don’t even know that Mingyu is being punished right now.
“You barged in? Into men’s toilet?” Wonwoo asked unbelievably, “And saved Mingyu from the gang?” he added.
I just nodded.
“At first I didn’t believe that Mingyu’s being punished because he always arrived early in the morning...
And entered our class!”
“What the hell is he doing?”
“I don’t know, he just exited after that.”
“Wow that guy sure have something wrong with his mind.”
It’s enough. Listening them made my mind became a mess. I should really meet Mingyu today. I shouldn’t be mad when
he yelled at me, it was because he doesn’t want to drag me into the mess, right? He is stupid, if he wanted to protect me
then he shouldn’t have yell at me.
Jung Ahri: meet me near the river at six.
Mingyu: which river
Jung Ahri: that river
Mingyu: the one we had first date?
Jung Ahri: just meet me, I have to say something.
I just arrived but I already spotted him right in the same place like the last time we visited this place. It’s haven’t six p.m
. yet but he already there, waiting while playing with the stone; throwing it to the river. Looking him from the back
always made me had a mental breakdown. Realizing that this guy is just strong outside, but he is really fragile inside.
He needs someone to be beside him, he really needs.
“Do you want to say thank you? For like, finally.”
“No, Mingyu, I want to say sorry. Sorry, I don’t know your intention earlier, I should’ve listened to you. Are you okay?”
“For what?” he asked, looking at my eyes straight. “I’m okay for being punished, I got it often anyway. But I’m not
okay when I can’t meet you for two weeks.”
“Oh, and thank you, for the bread and the milk everyday.”
“Finally, I waited that for so long, Noona! I thought someone else took the bread and milk, I relieved that you
received it.”
“But why do you have to give me those? Every morning? Even when you shouldn’t attend school?”
He smiled, “Because everytime I met you at lunch time, you always brough that cream cheese bread and
strawberry milk, I thought you really have to eat that for breakfast.”
But I brought that because Wonwoo gave me. “Oh.” why is this kid so naive? He is the one who should be
protected, not me.
“Noona, I’m serious right now. If I ever got into a fight again, even when I almost die, just don’t interrupt.
What if they kicked you? What if you get hurt? I’m okay with that kind of fight, because I do that often.
But, you? You can’t even open a bottle cap. And what if you also got the punishment? That’s too dangerous, Noona.”
“I see.”
He suddenly turned my body to look at him, buttoning up my shirt. That made my heart really fluttered, his face
was so near, and he buttoned it like it’s nothing.
“You dressed properly and neatly, but I don’t want people to look at even your collarbone, really. Even your knee
should be covered next time.”
“Mingyu...”
“Let’s go home, you’re really can’t do anything without making me worried, huh?” he said, as he slipped his finger
between mine and started walking to the bus stop. I shouldn’t fall in love with him, I really should not.
Finally I felt happy for having Mingyu by my side. He even put his arms around me when we crossed the road,
being the most gentleman guy. When we seated on the bus, he put his jacket to cover my thighs, saying that it’s
uncomfortable when other people look at me. He is indeed cute.
“How about you and Wonwoo? Are things getting better now?” he suddenly asked.
“Just so-so.” I really wanted to tell him about my trauma, about my past and everything. But I’m still afraid, I still can’t
open up my heart to anyone even if it’s Mingyu.
“If you like him, then I shouldn’t fall in love with you.”
“Pardon?”
“I like you, Ahri. But if Wonwoo’s still the only one for you, what can I do?”
He finally called my name instead of Noona. Honestly it’s annoying when he called me that because I’m just a year
older of him and he acted even older than me.
“What should I do?” I asked unconsciously, because I really don’t know what to do right now. Hearing him saying that,
making me feel extra guilty towards him. I wanted to make him happy, not like this.
“What should you do? I don’t even know what should I do.”
We stopped in front of my house and without realizing, our hands were interlocked with each other all the way here.
His hands felt soft and warm, I don’t want to let it go. But then he called my name again: “Ahri...”
“Mingyu..., what should I do now?” my voice got weaker, holding tears inside my eyes. No, I can’t cry in front of him.
“This feels strange, my heart, just won’t stop beating fast.”
“Ahri...,” he walked closer. “What about kissing?”
“Wh-”
He kissed my cheek even before I finished my sentence. It was quick, but I’m sure the feeling won’t fade away fast
from my cheek.
“This is wrong, Mingyu.”
“I know. I hope you can find your happiness with Wonwoo.”
That’s not even a farewell, but my heart hurts so bad.
***
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