First song, AKMU's Give Love~

I know that you hate me
I’m sad, why can’t you understand me?
You don’t understand, I like you

He felt how his heart started to beat faster, and that characteristic hole in the stomach. It happened every time he saw him, since 5 months ago, and he still cannot get used of that horrible feeling. And however, he liked it. He liked it because it made him remember how much he liked that boy. Every day he looked at him, and although his friend Youngbae kept saying that he should forget him, Jiyong couldn’t help but search for him with his eyes. He had tried to speak to him very times, but the boy only ignored him. Occasionally he said “good morning” back, but the most of the time he only ignored him.

And even with that, Ji kept trying. He knew that the most probably was that Seunghyun hated him, because of those glares that he sent. Didn’t Seunghyun notice that Jiyong blushed only by looking at him from the distance? Apparently not.

Seunghyun was a boy taller than Jiyong, 17 years old, only one year more than Jiyong, a bit chubby and with a strong gaze, and he had Ji drooling for him. He liked Seung very much. But the older only ignored him.

Both studied in the same school since 6 months ago, and Ji knew Seung wasn’t a bad boy, he was just a bit shy. The only thing that Jiyong wanted was the older let him be by his side. They were together in just one class, but that was enough for Ji to set his eyes on him. When Seung wasn’t surrounded by his rebel friends, he was a very cute boy, shy and sweet… the problem was that he always treated Jiyong very cold, without reason. Ji just looked at him with ‘eyes of love’, as Youngbae said.

What did I do wrong? Why are you doing this to me?
The more you do that, the sadder I get, oh I’m so sad
So let me slowly come into your heart

“Look Bae, there’s Seung…”

“Ji… stop it, he only ignores you or sends you that cold gaze.”

“Oh, thank you for telling me, I haven’t noticed.” Jiyong pouted, but the angry only lasted one second. Seunghyun was smiling with his classmates “I can’t stop it Bae… I like him… I really like him…”

“Jiyong…”

“Shut up. I’m going to achieve that he looks at me. I don’t know how but… I’m going to do it.”

Ji bit his lip. He was decided to make Seunghyun fall in love for him.

The next day, Jiyong woke up and wore his school uniform. He combed his hair very good and even wore a bit of cologne. That was the day he was going to start with his plan of stop being invisible for Seunghyun.

He spent all the day seeing the older boy secretly. Seunghyun had a friend, Kang Daesung. And Ji was sure he wasn’t his boyfriend, because Daesung had a girlfriend. Those two were the only friendly guys in their friends circle, the other ones were unruly boys, Ji didn’t understand why they spent the day together. Dae was so friendly and he always said “good morning” to him with a big smile on his face, but he didn’t know why Seunghyun didn’t do the same, he was so cold…

“Hey.”

Jiyong got out of his thoughts and felt how his whole face turned red. Seung was in front of him, looking at him with those deep eyes, and he looked angry.

“Y-yes?”

“Why were you spying us?”

“Ah?” Jiyong opened his eyes very big “N-no, I wasn’t spying you, I-I was… searching… my money… it dropped here and I was searching it…”

That wasn’t a lie after all. Jiyong was behind a tree, seeing Seunghyun, and only a few minutes before his money dropped from his hand. Ji saw how Seunghyun looked at the grass, aside the tree, and picked up his money.

“Here you have. Now go away, okay?”

The older gave the money to Jiyong and their both hands touched for a second. Jiyong felt the hole in his stomach getting bigger, his breathing quickened and only reacted when he saw that Seunghyun was walking away from him, going back to his friends. Jiyong turned and ran away from there, he didn’t want Seunghyun to get angrier at him. He pressed the money in his hand and put it in his pocket with a smile on his face. With only that small thing he had enough to be happy the rest of the day.

The important thing is the heart
I’m not liking you just for your face
Even your sharp words that hate on me
I came to love them, this is my heart

In the end Youngbae had decided to help him. It was a very simple plan. They just needed to call Daesung and be with him, and Seunghyun will go too. And surprisingly, it worked. The four of they were sat in the grass at the lunch time, but no one was saying anything. Dae was smiling beside of Seunghyun, Jiyong was beside Dae, and Youngbae was in the middle of Jiyong and Seunghyun.

“And why the invitation?” Dae still smiling.

“Oh, nothing special.” Bae answered quickly “We just want to talk to you… we want to meet you, you look very kind, but you two are always with your other friends and they are a bit… uhm… violent?” Daesung laughed so loud.

“You’re right, but they are good boys… although we really don’t talk a lot with them. It’s so good to spend some time with you guys, right Seung?”

“Ah, yes”

Jiyong looked at Seunghyun when he heard his deep voice. Seunghyun was looking at Jiyong as well, but his gaze wasn’t cold as some minutes before.

They continued chatting for a while, although actually the only ones talking were Daesung and Youngbae. Jiyong was just looking at Seunghyun, and sometimes he looked back at him, but as if he were annoyed or mad. What was the problem? Jiyong sighed in frustration.

“Well, the lunch time is over, we have to go” Daesung said “It was fun to talk with you guys, see you tomorrow” Dae smiled and said bye with his hand, first to Youngbae and then to Jiyong.

“See you” Seunghyun did the same, but only to Youngbae and then turned to go with Daesung.

“Bye…” Jiyong whispered while seeing Seunghyun running.

“Ji, don’t be sad” Bae put a hand on his shoulder “He coming to talk to us was already a success. I could tell you ‘forget this’ but I know how hardheaded you are.”

“I am not Bae, it’s just that…”

“Yes, yes, I know” The boy interrupted him “It’s just that you like him a lot. It’s alright, let’s go to the classroom.”

“Okay…”

A couple of weeks passed, and the four boys were still together at the lunch time. Actually, only Youngbae and Daesung talked, sometimes Seunghyun joined the conversation, and in very, very rare moments Jiyong talked too. Every time he spoke, he could feel Seunghyun’s gaze under him, and it wasn’t very friendly.

But, in fact, Seunghyun wasn’t as cold as before. Sometimes he smiled and made Jiyong melt, and suddenly a day after that he went back to his ‘normal’ cold attitude.

“Seunghyun?” Jiyong tried for the thousandth time “Do you want some of my lunch? My mom made enough for all of us…”

“No, thanks”

“… Alright…”

Ji bit his lip. He had tried so many times, he only wanted to give Seunghyun a bit of his love, but the boy seemed to not want it.

If it’s about you, no matter how small it is, I remember it, I’m a mania
No matter how badly you treat me, you’re like a comic book
Like a romantic comic book, every night I pray like this

Give love, give me some love
Give love, there’s not enough love
I give the love that grows every day to him but he doesn’t accept
Give love, give me some love
Give love, there’s not enough love
I give the love that grows every day to him but he doesn’t accept

Weeks passed and Jiyong tried with everything he had to be friends with Seunghyun. Sometimes it seemed to work, they talked and Seunghyun smiled to him, and that made his heart beat as crazy. But this lasted only a few days, until Seunghyun stopped talking to him without reason.

I didn’t do anything wrong
But why do you hate me for no reason?
Why can’t you understand me
I like you

After I found out you hated me
You made my strong motivation wither away
I thought my heart racing days would be over
But once again, slowly

“Leave me alone Jiyong”

“Ah?”

“I don’t want you to bother me anymore”

“I-I bother you?” Something inside Jiyong was slowly being broken. He thought Seunghyun and him were friends, but there was the boy, telling him that he hated him…

“Just stay away from me” His gaze was cold again, he even seemed angry.

And before Jiyong could say anything more, Seung turned and went back with his old friends, those crazy violent guys. Ji felt he had just lost the hope. Seunghyun hated him, and he could not change that. Jiyong looked at the oldest until he was already with his friends, and saw how one of those guys was looking at him. Jiyong felt scared. He didn’t like that gaze. It wasn’t cold as Seunghyun’s, it was weird. The guy was making fun of him. Why? What was that? He stopped looking at Jiyong and started talking to Seunghyun.

“Don’t worry Seung, you’re chubby, you should stay with us, not with the slim guys that only want to make fun of you”

Jiyong could feel how all the sadness disappeared and was replaced by anger. Who was that guy? It wasn’t like everyone in that group were chubby, Seunghyun was the only one! Jiyong clenched his fists. Were those guys bullying Seunghyun? Was that why he always was with them? Because they made Seunghyun think he was alone? Jiyong was going to give them their lesson, he was going to make Seunghyun realize that he wasn’t alone, he had Jiyong too.

Ji bit his lip and smiled. He didn’t care what Seunghyun had told him, not even if he hated him. For an instant he thought everything was over, but now he was more decided than before to give all of his love to Seunghyun.

Can I get closer?

In case you would hate me even looking at you
I secretly hide behind and tremble with fear
When the sun sets and the moonlight rises
I get courageous and I tell him my heart
But he and I grow too far apart
The love that gives and gives gets thrown away on the street, stacking up like dead leaves
When spring comes, it turns into dirt but I put my hopes up for a new sprout

“What do you want? I told you, just leave me alone”

“I’m not going to leave you alone Seunghyun. I want to talk” Ji got surprised to hear his voice so strong. Inside, he was so nervous. He had intercepted the oldest before he could reach his friends and had took him by his arm to the corridor.

“About what?” Jiyong could see a strange bright in Seunghyun’s eyes. It seems like he was ready to fight “Do you want to make fun of me?”

“Make fun of you? Why should I do that?”

“Because of my weight!” Jiyong said nothing “Of course, just because you are slim and cute…” Jiyong’s breath stopped. Had he heard right? Seunghyun thought he was cute?

“What? What did you say?”

“Nothing” And Seunghyun’s face was red! “I said I know you want to make fun of me, just like everyone does. And I’m not going to let you. I’m leaving”

“No, wait!” He wasn’t thinking on letting Seunghyun leave, he wanted to give him all his love.

Jiyong stopped Seunghyun and hugged him. He felt how Seung was tense, but didn’t care, the fact that he was hugging Seunghyun made his heart beat so fast.

“W-what are you doing Jiyong?”

“I’m hugging you. I don’t want you to leave”

“…”

“Seung… I don’t want to make fun of you” That was the moment. Maybe he won’t have another opportunity “I like you”

Seunghyun didn’t answer immediately. Both stay in silence for a few seconds, until the oldest pushed away Jiyong and looked at him so angry.

“Who told you?”

“Tell me what? What are you talking about?... Didn’t you hear me?”

“I did… And I don’t need you still making fun of me!”

“I am not! Why do you think I’m making fun of you?!” Ji started to feel desperate. He didn’t understand Seunghyun, plus he didn’t like the oldest thinking he was making fun of him.

“My feelings! I don’t need you pretending that you like me, just leave me alone!” Seung closed his eyes so strongly “Leave me alone…”

“I am not making fun of anything, damn it!” Ji felt how his eyes were already full of tears. He was angry because Seunghyun didn’t believe him “Why you don’t believe me?!” Before he could notice, he was already crying “What should I do for you to realize that I really like you?! Throw a rock to your head?!” Jiyong saw how Seunghyun opened his eyes, and when their eyes met, Seung’s gaze was full of worry.

“W-what?”

“I… I… I hate you!” Jiyong heard how Seunghyun gasped “I hate you because I like you so much!” Jiyong was feeling powerless, he couldn’t make his love reach Seunghyun “I hate you Seunghyun! I hate you because I like you since I saw you in the first class! I hate you because you had always hated me, but I still liking you!” Ji started sobbing and covered his face with his hands “And I hate you because everything I’ve said is the truth! I like you Seunghyun, I like you a lot!!”  

Silence again. Ji only could hear his sobs. He didn’t know how much time had passed until he calmed down, but he was sure the oldest was already gone. He uncovered his face and the first thing he saw was Seunghyun in front of him like if he was a statue with a trauma face. Now he felt like an idiot. Why was he so angry, until the point he had cried? That guy really affected him.

“I-I’m sorry…” Jiyong felt his face getting hot “I shouldn’t have… i-it’s just… I got angry and…” but Seunghyun interrupted him.

“You…” He was still like a statue, but was looking directly to Jiyong’s eyes. And it wasn’t the cold gaze as always “I mean… I like you too since long time ago, Ji…”

Give love, give me some love
Give love, there’s not enough love
I give the love that grows every day to him but he doesn’t accept
Give love, give me some love
Give love, there’s not enough love
I give the love that grows every day to him but he doesn’t accept