☼ The Lonely Boy ☼

He had done it.

He had actually made it happen and he had Taeyang to thank. 

If Taeyang weren’t so out of it, then he probably would’ve questioned why TOP was so calm and collected about a weeklong road trip. It took days to plan it out, maybe weeks before everything was ready, but you see, TOP actually had all of this planned out for a while now.

Fei, his beloved girlfriend of 3 years, was leaving to France for an extraordinary chance to become an apprentice of a Top Chef, who personally handpicked only 3 of hundreds of students from her culinary school, and TOP was basking in the bittersweet sauce of pride and heartbreak. 

Though on the outside he seemed composed, inside he was having panic attacks every time he looked at the calendar and saw that the X’s crossing out the dates were getting closer to the day Fei was to get on a plane and fly to the country where the city of love was located.

When she told him the news, he couldn’t have been more proud, but it was after he heard her “I need to start planning on what I’m going to take there!” his pride was replaced with panic. Understandingly, he wanted her to stay with him, but he knew that it would be wrong to ask her that. He himself was well on his way to Stanford Law School, with his BA in Business Economics tucked under his arm, but he never assumed that they would be 10 hours away (by flight) from each other. Not to mention the trip to see each other would cost around $1000 dollars. Lawyers may make more than a hundred thousand and year, but he wasn’t a lawyer yet and he still had 4 more years left of school with the addition of many bills that were unquestionably coming his way. It didn’t help that he couldn’t ask his low-income parents for help either. They had sacrificed so much for his education that TOP made a promise that he would offer help rather than ask. He couldn’t break that promise and Fei had loved him more for that. 

So in the midst of his agony, he tried to come up with ideas to make their last few weeks memorable. At first he planned to travel with her to France, but on the day after she left, he had the obligation of heading up North to sign the paperwork of his new apartment, attend a job interview and figure out how he was going to convince Taeyang to give up the 64 inch flat screen TV in their living room. After realizing that he couldn’t go with her so easily, he thought up a plan to go on a trip closer, and easily assessable, to home. He first thought that flying to Hawaii or New York would be exciting, but came to the conclusion that a week on the road would add up to more hours than any plane ride could, and it would definitely be cheaper. That last thing helped him with his final choice.

After finally telling himself that he would make this happen he began to think of a way to convince Fei to go and he was lost in thought right as he entered his apartment and spotted the white zip lock bag sticking out of Taeyang’s pocket. As he scolded the younger boy, he decided that the trip wouldn’t just help him, but it could help Taeyang as well. When the words were out of his mouth, the plan had been sealed. He had to make this happen. Now he just needed to tell Fei and hope that he could find more friends to go with them so it could truly be a memorable trip for all of them.

Seungri rubbed his temples for the tenth time that morning.

Having to listen to music for work related purposes should be an enjoyable way to spend your time, but certainly not when the music had a certain quirk that ruined the track completely. Who had decided that adding the sound of a cat meowing every 5 seconds was a smart idea? Unique? Fine. But appealing and enjoyable? Not to Seungri and he hoped he was certain that not to his customers. These were the things he had to do if he wanted to prove to his father that he could run the family business. 

Seungri, or Seunghyun Lee as his birth certificate indicates, is a rich boy born from a modest workaholic and a carefree soul. His parents didn’t hate him, but he was constantly ignored as a child. His father was an ambitious and social man who invested on a club with a close friend straight out of college. It took around 7 years until the club name started to get noticed by higher ups and by the time Seungri was born, 2 years after the rise of popularity of the first establishment, his father’s clubs had gone international. When the prestigious clubs started gaining popularity Seungri’s father began to expand to other cities around the world like Hong Kong, Seoul, Tokyo, New York, Paris, etc. In the next 21 years his life, his father travelled constantly for work related purposes, while occasionally coming home, but he never lasted long since whenever he did come home he ended up getting into an argument with the mother of his child. Seungri’s parent’s relationship was never really healthy since the only reason why they had gotten married was because his mother had gotten pregnant. Their marriage lasted 10 excruciating years, but even though they disliked each other and his father couldn’t stand seeing the nagging woman, he agreed to give her a large sum of money. It was honestly the only reason she had agreed to the divorce. When she got her money she headed out to see the world leaving Seungri with his father. Seungri never really knew where she was until he got a blank postcard with a small souvenir here and there. Though one would naturally scoff at the pathetic attempt to ease her guilt, Seungri sadly, felt happy whenever he would get one. To him it meant that she was thinking of him and cared, but she was just too much of a free spirit to be confined to one place.

Though saying that his parent’s divorce didn’t bother him was a lie, he wasn’t exactly that surprised when his father told him that his mother wasn’t going to be living with them anymore. It was sad that his first thought was “at least I won’t hear you fighting anymore” rather than how much he would miss her. He long ago came to realize that his mother’s love wasn’t strong and missing her would only depress him. Instead he lived life normally, accepting the small show of appreciation from her postcards.

His relationship with his father wasn’t bad at all. They talked to each other a lot when he was home and his father called him daily whenever he was out of town. With them there was always something to talk about. Whether the club business or interesting stories from school or the city his father was located in. The only thing they never spoke about was how they felt. For as long as Seungri could remember, the last deep talk with his father was when he told him about his mother leaving. The only times it bothered him was when he wanted to ask his father for advice and the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth because at how uncomfortable it felt even thinking about them.

The main thing he admired about his father was that he wasn’t the type of person who looked down on others and those morals were passed down to Seungri. While the first 10 years of his life were spent in a private school, a choice made by his mother, his father decided that putting him in a public school would shape him better. His father had been a public school kid and wanted his son to live through the same, and it was because of that choice that Seungri met Min in 5th grade. It was probably what Seungri felt the most thankful for, even if the transition didn’t start out that great.

Seungri found it strange that people automatically labeled him the conceited rich kid when he entered school. He never talked about his status and unlike the children from the private school he always rode to school sitting next to his driver because he got along great with him. He didn’t assume he stuck out so much until the kids started to mention it. Later on he found out that the only reason they knew was because the parents talked about it amongst themselves and the children overheard.

He always assumed by the shows he watched that it was usually the less fortunate children who got shunned or bullied, but he learned that if you and everyone else had a wide gap of differences, you fell victim to the teasing. Fortunately the bullying didn’t last long because Min, along with a few others of his classmates, decided they were tired of seeing the boy sitting alone in the corner of the cafeteria and decided to add him into the group. He had always been alone even in his old school, so he never had the chance to be the friendly, cheerful kid he always was. So when he was given the opportunity to be himself, he took it and his label changed from conceited brat to the charming heartthrob. In the beginning he felt that the status was just a random perk and didn't pay attention to it, he was just happy that he had a best friend that always had his back after so many years of being alone.

So it was no surprise the disappointment he felt when Min had to attend another high school. He never reverted back to the quiet kid he was and still made friends easily, but he made an extra effort to still find time to keep her in his life. When she got a job sophomore year at a restaurant he made it a habit of constantly visiting. It was there where he officially met Seohyun, despite being schoolmates for 2 years already. Back then Seungri didn’t really care about Seohyun. Sure, she was pretty and sweet, but if Min was around, he wasn’t interested in anyone else. They conversed occasionally, but never more than that. After they graduated, Seo became more confident with her looks and personality and because Min had made it clear to Seungri that she didn’t have romantic feelings for him, his eyes finally shifted to the other girls that surrounded him, Seo included, hence the drink splash at the club. 

He no doubt had feelings for Min, but he had accepted that her feelings for him weren’t the same after asking if her if she had ever imagine them dating.

“I did, back in 8th grade when everyone had a crush on you, but I think that was just because I wanted to blend in and not having a crush on you would label you a blind idiot” 

“How about now?” 

Min chuckled, “No. It’s too weird and uncomfortable to think about. Not that you’re a bad choice, it’s just our relationship is completely platonic, at least from my part. You wouldn’t happen to have a crush on me would you?” 

She had said it as a joke, but Seungri in that moment decided to copy her truthful ways.

“I do” 

Min had rolled her eyes at his answer, but when his expression didn’t change and he didn’t speak again, she lowered her eyes and apologized. There was an uncomfortable silence after that and Seungri began to panic. It was the one thing he feared after confessing. He didn’t want to lose her and he felt stupid that he had said something that could break their friendship. He cleared his throat and after taking a deep breath he asked her what they were going to do now.

Min looked up and met his eyes, then asked if he would like to take a break from their friendship or if he would like them to continue the way it was. She would respect his choice, but she repeated that her feelings weren’t the same and that she was sorry. In the end he ended up choosing the second option and as the time went by, with a little heartaches here and there, he was slowly starting to get over her.

Slowly, but surely.

The what-ifs were put to rest and he felt he was ab