V  GUILTY

I’m the guilty one – whenever our opinions differ,
It’s all my fault, as if I’m a criminal
I take a step back and don’t say anything
To perfect you, I’m always a lacking person

“Call me. If you were to change your mind, that is.”

Jihoon sighed. He stared at the crumpled paper in front of him, his fingers were itching as he scanned the number again and again, half of the digits were surprisingly etched onto his tired brain.

He knew he shouldn’t.

He knew it was a bad idea.

The worst even.

And even though his mind was trying to draw a logic out of it, his heart was one step-ahead. It was coaxing him, simultaneously repeating magical chants of ‘Yes’. Jihoon wanted to give in, but the stripes on his wrist reminded him not to. After all, it was never an option. The answer had always been a clear cut ‘NO’. It bugged him how heavy the barcode felt on his wrist, weighing his conscience like an anchor hanging from a boat. Jihoon could not even turn a blind eye, for he knew he shouldn’t crawl into a party filled with Opulents. Not when he was ranked the lowest in the society and of course, with his hatred towards the said kind? How can he ever forget the rancor he had been building these past few years?

Though looking at Seungcheol, doubts were starting to arise in Jihoon. That maybe, just maybe, Opulents were not as bad as he believed they would be. But who was he kidding. As much as Jihoon wanted to go, he did not have a costume to put on. Heck, he didn’t even have a decent outfit in his wardrobe aka the single rail at one corner of the room.

To think again, there was an old set of cowboy costume tucked in one of the boxes. Though let's be real: in no ing way would Jihoon wear it to Seungcheol’s party. Given that it was bought 5 years ago and (believe it or not) was too small for Jihoon to wear. Besides, he had no money to even afford one. Even if this were to be a fairytale, he couldn’t simply wish for a costume and hoped that a miracle would happen--

“Hyung, a package for you!” Seokmin yelled as he wobbled his way through the doorframe, a large box was seen cradled in his arms.

“Where did you--”

“It was in front of the door,” the boy gave a short reply, setting the box in front of a now gaping Jihoon. Seokmin shrugged off his cardigan when Jihoon noticed the tattered hem, making a quick mental note to buy his brother new clothes once he got this month’s salary --

“Your secret admirer is at it again, I see.”

-- or maybe not.

Only after chucking the younger with his pillow that Jihoon proceeded to carefully tear the box open. He began to list out all the probabilities of who the sender might be, until he saw his name written across the top flap. The handwriting was too awful for it to be Mingyu’s, let alone Seungkwan’s; and as for Soonyoung, Jihoon did not bother to think that far because oh boy, his scrawling (Jihoon would not even refer it as ‘handwriting’ because it looked as if it was written with a foot instead) was almost impossible for him to read.

So who could it be?

Consumed by both excitement and anxiety, Jihoon ripped the last fold open. He thought he was seeing things at first for what he saw next was something he could never imagine.

Inside, there was a royal blue school uniform paired with a red bow, and a pair of black glasses was tucked neatly between the sleeves. It looked new – hell, it looked like it cost a fortune. As to why someone would send him a top-notch outfit was baffling to Jihoon. Given that he, himself had long finished his high school. Nonetheless, the moment he saw a familiar looking watch, he immediately knew why and of course, the sender.

Seungcheol.

“Hyung.”

“Yes?”

“That’s Detective Conan, right?” 

- - - - - - - - - - -

I swear to god.

For the umpteenth time, Seungcheol blew a (rather stubborn) strand out of his face, his lips pursed to a high pout. He was starting to get aggravated by it, but decided to leave it alone because Jeonghan had put so much effort into styling his hair. Although he did try to decline the much unneeded effort, he could only adhere the second his friend shot down his pleas with a simple, “Jihoon might come.”

Just thinking of it made Seungcheol’s hands drenched with perspiration.

“Hyung, gross,” Hansol scrunched his face in disgust and handed the unmistakably nervous Seungcheol a tissue, who then muttered a short ‘thanks’. Looking at his vampire cladded hyung somehow increased his curiosity by a big margin. Hansol could not wait to meet this Jihoon-guy Seungcheol would not stop yapping about.

Except, he had a strong hunch that Jihoon wouldn’t be coming. Especially when the party was nearing its end. His lips were itching to tell Seungcheol the truth, but decided to clamp his mouth shut when he saw Wonwoo looking at him from the other side of the room, his ‘don’t-you-dare’ glare on full blast. So instead, Hansol resorted to a subtle pat on the back, “He’s going to come.”

“That’s a given,” Jeonghan popped from the small crowd with Jisoo trailing along, flashing a smile at few other guests who were literally swooning as the two passed by. It was not a suprise when Jeonghan received an equal amount of attention, especially when his hair fell in a perfect wave, the tips dyed with bisection of red and blue. Seungcheol wanted to ask Jeonghan really. Just how the hell did he come up with the idea to dress up as a male version of Harley Quinn anyway? Yet judging by Jisoo’s smile, he somehow got the rough idea that the boy who dressed up as a freaking priest had something to do with it.

“But it’s almost midnight now.”

“Don’t you know that Cinderella appeared at midnight?” Wonwoo then joined in the conversation, smiling as he clanked Seungcheol’s glass with his own, winking as he did.

Hansol let out a snicker.

“She left at twelve, god. I swear you’re an idiot.”

“I understand that, Hansol,” the self-proclaimed ‘Jacob’ (Wonwoo kept stressing on the fact that he’s Jacob, but others just couldn’t see the resemblances) glared at Hansol who mumbled to himself. Wonwoo was unable to catch entirely what his exact words were, but he did overhear something about learning another language aside from English. Both Jisoo and Jeonghan could only shake their heads at the two, their hands noticeably close. A little bit too close Seungcheol would say.

Not that Seungcheol cared anyway.

There was something more important than mulling over the two alleged 'best friends'.

Seriously, where the is Jihoon?

“The party isn’t going to end in like an hour or so Seungcheol. He might have few things to be taken care of. He’ll come eventually,” Jisoo decided to dive into Seungcheol’s pool of insecurities, trying to save the drowning vampire who ostensibly was way too deep in his own thoughts. He had to admit, it was pretty interesting to see the oldest in such manner.

Especially when Seungcheol had been a very composed guy.

Most of the times, he would not choke up neither would he falter under any given circumstances. Seungcheol was pretty much lucid when it came to making decisions even conducting the overall momentum of the group. So when they saw the leader of their small group slowly crumbling with each passing second was indeed a sight to behold.

Of course, this did not escape Jeonghan's attentive eyes. He noted the way Seungcheol’s right foot bounced, each tap was in synch with the ticks of the clock, and judging by his chapped lips, Jeonghan knew his assumption was not too far off. Because Seungcheol was a nibbler; with being childhood friends for over ten years, Jeonghan could read the goddamn idiot like an open book.

So when the hand of the clock got closer to number twelve, Seungcheol was reduced to a ball of mess and at that point, his friends knew nothing could ever calm him down.

“Hyung,” Hansol eventually spoke up, his elbow somehow found its way on one of Wonwoo’s broad shoulders, “don’t expect too much though. If he wanted to come, he would’ve came like hours ago.”

“… Hansol!”

- - - - - - - - - -

Snow blanketed the whole town, submerging most land with thick sheet of whiteness. It was cold, but not as cold as Jihoon’s heart. Despite his fingers tapping onto the register with the needed speed and accuracy, he could only feel pure regret overriding his chest. It was not helping either that for the first time during his shift, the queue was oddly long.

This is why I hate winter.

Giving the marker in his hand a last twirl, Jihoon wrote ‘Sohyun’ onto the side of the cup, not the slightest bit concerned whether he missed an ‘e’ . Besides, the freezing customers were in dire need of hot brewed caffeine in their system, so a misspelled representation of their name was not exactly the main issue here. Though he did notice a slight pout on the girl’s face when he waved her off, not wanting to hear how exactly he should have written it down.

With or without ‘e’, it’s still pronounced the same either way.

Accustomed to such occurrences, Jihoon shrugged it off as he muttered a short ‘next’, his eyes still on the register. He gave the usual greetings, but his words fell short once he heard a familiar voice.

“One cup of caramel macchiato please.”

That voice. Jihoon could recognize it anywhere. The depth, the subtle airy breath released with each sentence – it had got to be him. As soon as his eyes travelled up, meeting a pair of hazel eyes, Jihoon felt his heart stirred.

“Seungcheol.”

Said boy flashed a beam at him, his dimples were evidently seen on his cheeks and somehow Jihoon could feel his own set emerging as well. Judging by Seungcheol’s little chuckle, the raven seemed to have noticed them too. Jihoon’s heart began to do flips, a somersault even. However, he did notice the very same brown eyes felt rather cold, the usual warmth was nowhere to be found.

Regret started to engulf Jihoon like a cage.

Disconcerted, Jihoon stared at the counter instead, avoiding eye-contact all together. He knew Seungcheol was trying to read his own expression. He knew Seungcheol was yearning for an explanation of some sort.

Why wouldn’t he when Jihoon had completely stood him up?

“Jihoon, can we talk?”

Truly, Jihoon wanted to say no. Yet he knew better than do so. Jihoon knew he did not have the right to turn away, even to decline him -- after all, he was at fault here. Feeling defeated, he called over a new part-timer to take over the orders as he unraveled the knot of his apron. Chan, a boy few years than Jihoon emerged from behind, a smile presented on his face.

Jihoon was not exactly your typical friendly boy next door when it came to strangers, however he found himself warming up to the ironically taller boy.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“It’s okay, hyung. Take your time. I’ll manage,” Chan gave Jihoon a pat before the latter dove out of the counter, leading Seungcheol to a secluded area in front of the café. He could feel the winter biting onto each part of his exposed skin, including his previously composed mind, but Jihoon failed to come up with a better place to ‘talk’. Seungcheol on the other hand was all snug and cozy in his thick parka. For when he noticed how the other shivered from head to toe, he ped it in a flash, offering the red outerwear to Jihoon.

Of course, the younger politely shook his head no.

“I’m fine though. Thanks.”

But he was nowhere near the bay of this definition called ‘fine’. Jihoon could literally feel himself crumbling. The winter breeze was no longer piercing his frame like a sharp knife, yet both his lungs and heart began to throb from the guilt he had accumulated. It was killing him and somehow the pain amplified the second Seungcheol dropped the bomb.

“Why didn’t you come?”

Why?

Honestly, Jihoon did not know himself. Was he scared? Was the hatred towards Opulents too much for him to handle? Or was it simply because he was too lazy to go? Well, all of those sounded like a bunch of excuses anyway. So instead, Jihoon let out a sigh and tucked his numb hands into the pockets of his pants.

“Seungcheol, I’m sorry,” Jihoon started off calmly, his lips almost frozen – it was not from the weather, though it was from the tension he felt – “but I don’t think I could do this anymore.”

Seungcheol’s eyes then grew twice its size.

“What do you mean?”

“This. Us. You know damn well what I mean, Seungcheol.”

“But I want to be your friend.”

“That’s the thing, Seungcheol. What if I don’t want to be your friend??” Jihoon’s sudden outburst threw Seungcheol off, the air went practically still. Both of them could feel it. The tautness. The dread. But that was nothing compared to the ache they felt in their now heavy chests, further pulling the two into suffocation as if they were drowned in an avalanche. Somehow, the snow began to pick up, its flakes starting to rain down and the warm café never seemed so inviting to Jihoon, until then.

Diving further into his thin uniform, Jihoon decided to get it over with.

“Look. You’re an Opulent whereas I’m an Indigent. That itself was impossible to work with. Don’t try to cough up bull on me because you yourself are aware of that,” Jihoon raised his brows at Seungcheol, the latter was seen swallowing back his words. He did not want to hurt Seungcheol, but the male needed a smack of reality. Apparently, Jihoon needed it too. He could hear his heart writhing with each word, but decided to let his brain do the talking this time.

“I’m sorry. But do us a favor and stop looking for me ever again.”

Never in Jihoon life had he felt this much regret.

- - - - - - - - - - -

It had been weeks since Jihoon last saw Seungcheol and as much as he hated to admit it, he somehow missed the boy’s presence. Seokmin had taken notice of his hyung’s somewhat offbeat behavior, though he decided not to prod further. Especially when it was evident how much stress Jihoon was suffering.

Jihoon had been filling up his schedule with extended hours of part time jobs and it worried Seokmin to see Jihoon constantly battering his body. He would go out at wee hours in the morning, only to come back at three. After one or two hours of sleep, he would get up and repeat the whole routine like a machine. Heck, even a real machine would not be able to sustain a week without complete rest.

The peach-haired boy was losing his mind and it scared the out of Lee Seokmin.

So when Jihoon wanted to take a breather at a park near their place, Seokmin was more than overjoyed to grab his coat and ushered the elder out of their stuffy room. Yet not even one second out of the door, Seokmin was instantaneously shoved inside because well “I meant alone, you brat.” For the utmost respect he had for Jihoon, Seokmin mumbled a sad okay.

And for once Jihoon felt relieved.

Thus he headed straight for the still freezing pond, the snow had somewhat melted compared to a week ago. Jihoon saw a nearby bench, probably drenched with thawed slush, but he could care less for his when his mind was in an utter mess. Letting out another sigh, a habit he had picked up for the last three weeks, Jihoon closed his eyes shut, the world tuning out of his very own frequency.

It was quiet.

It was peaceful.

It only lasted for a short while when Seungcheol absurdly invaded his mind, eyes and ears. Jihoon did not know what was happening to him really. One second he hated the male, but another he was completely smittened like a 16-year-old girl and to be honest, it pissed him off. He was never one to believe in infatuation, let alone the idea of falling for someone. However, the way his stomach churned at the thought of Seungcheol claimed otherwise. 

He could not be falling for a freaking Opulent.

Tired, Jihoon rose to his feet, wanting nothing but a long deep sleep. Maybe that could take his mind off of things, especially on his off days like this. Unfortunately, luck was never on his side. As he rounded the corner, just few meters away from his building, he was surrounded by a group of unfamiliar men, their clothes reeked with the smell of cigarettes. Jihoon straightaway sensed danger, but he was trapped with no possible way out.

The seemingly older guys walked closer to him, the sound of the gum smacking in their lewd mouth could be heard -- much to Jihoon’s annoyance. He was not scared. He knew he could fight them off. It didn’t falter him much as he shrugged his collar off a red-headed dude’s strong grip, fueling their anger to a whole different level. So when he felt a blow to the right side of his face, it did not come off as a surprise.

But it did not mean that Jihoon would swallow it up like a freaking . Not taking any of the given, he threw few punches himself, managed to land a powerful impact on a kid seemingly younger than him to which invited a couple more waves from the other four. There was no way he would win. Not when it’s five to one. Then again, the word ‘give up’ itself did not exist in his dictionary.

So he fought them back as much as his muscle could withstand. Jihoon could feel the pain slowly building up with every kicks and hits he received. Everything seemed manageable until a guy who had a long scar over his cheeks caught him off guard with a swift uppercut to his chin causing him to stumble back, his body roughly landed on the concrete floor. This time it hurt, a lot; but nothing was even more hurtful than the came out of the stranger’s mouth next, “Oh Jihoon, I swear you’re a pitiful human being. I bet your parents would be so embarrassed to see their child, or wait children rotten in poverty.”

This son a bitc—

“Feel any sort of déjà vu yet, Jihoon?” Jihoon turned his head at the mention of his name and was surprised to see him, yes freaking Seungcheol hovering over him. Almost instinctively his hand flew up, wiping the remaining blood from his now punctured lips. “I guess I am your knight in shining armor now?” Seungcheol chuckled a little whereas Jihoon snickered at the boy, and he was more than willing to accept the hand in front of him.

“Stop being so full of yourself.”

Seungcheol nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders as he dove for the other five, his fist never once missed its target.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Here,” Seungcheol offered a can of hot coffee in which Jihoon gladly accepted as he put it to his cheek, wincing when the metal came in contact with his bruise. He didn’t have to look into a mirror to know how bad it was. The look on Seungcheol’s face was telling enough.

Then when their eyes accidentally locked for few seconds, Jihoon was the first to break off, his heart surprisingly calmer than how he first expected it to be. Yes, it was awkward; specifically, when he was the one who chased Seungcheol away, but Jihoon could not lie to himself any longer. He was happy to meet Seungcheol, even though the situation was not particularly ideal. It was completely silent, yet he was more than satisfied. Because Seungcheol was there, beside him, only few inches away.

Finally, he felt safe.

Then a hit of realization came crashing onto Jihoon. Maybe he was not into Seungcheol, at least not the way he thought he was supposed to. Seungcheol was right. He was his knight in shining armor. Jihoon had always been independent, his personality matured with the death of his parents,  but with Seungcheol by his side now, he realized he needed the latter to survive. Although it may sound selfish, Jihoon was more than glad to have Seungcheol in his atrocious life.

The idea of friends did not seem bad after all.

They could work it out. They could—

“Jihoon, you’re not safe.”

Wait, what?

“Pardon?”

“You are in danger, Lee Jihoon. Someone is targeting after you – perhaps Seokmin too.”

Wait. Danger? A target? What the was Seungcheol rambling about?

“Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, Seungcheol? Because I swear you’re sprouting right now,” Jihoon rolled his eyes, the hand on his cheek somehow ended on his lap, the bruise was left unattended.

“I’m being serious Jihoon. Remember the car that almost hit you and the three guys who ganged up on you? Not to forget, the episode in which happened like half an hour ago? They could not be pure coincidences,” by now Seungcheol was already on his feet, pacing for god knows how many times as he rambled further on possible dangers in the future. Jihoon could feel the gear of his brain deliberately came to a stop because none of the things Seungcheol said made complete sense.

“I’ll be fine. I’m not a child, Seungcheol.”

“You were almost beaten to pulp and you dare to say that you’re fine??”

Okay, perhaps Jihoon was wrong. There was no way they could become friends. Not when Seungcheol was acting like a possessive freak and unable to keep his feet off the line Jihoon had personally drawn in his head. This should really stop.

“Look, I can take care of myself okay? I am very thankful for your help today, but don’t fret: there wouldn’t be any occurrences like this in the future.”

“But, Jihoon-”

“Please. No more,” it then became a complete silence for few minutes that Jihoon thought enough was enough. “I should go. Seokmin must have been pacing like a cat by now.”

And as Jihoon rise from his side of the bench, Seungcheol grabbed onto his scrawny wrist, halting the younger one to an abrupt stop. Not having any of it, he yelled at Seungcheol, but what he heard next caught him by surprise.

“Marry me. Just marry me, Jihoon.”

AUTHOR'S NOTE

OMG. I'm so so so sorry for not updating lately.
It has been what, 3-4 weeks?
I'm really sorry for the delay,
but real life was a big boo-hoo.

I was drowned with assignments
and when I say 'drowned', it literally means that I was drowning.
I had to complete like 10 assignments plus 3 big projects,
along with several presentations here and there.
So yeah. I just couldn't find any empty slots to finish up this chapter.

But I hope the surprise at the end is sufficient enough
for you to forgive me and accept my stupid excuses haha.
Though I have to apologize if the plot seems rushed. 
I'm actually chasing for the main plot
(yep chapter 1-4 were basically a long prologue + intro on the characters)
so I need to start on the real highlight of the story
well, at least in the next chapter.

I caught you off guard didn't I? haha
If you haven't noticed, I changed my username from holyjihoon to leewooji.
I thought that it's best if I sync it with my current tumblr account. 

Oh of course, a big thanks to my lovely Kim for being my wonderful beta!
Even my bb Luiza for the wonderful insights~~
I'll link their tumblr account below:

Kim - @mochajisoo
Luiza - @holywonwoo

Oh one more thing:
thank you so much for all the support!
400 subcribers? OMG you guys are the best.
Don't forget to comment~
It would definitely make my day :)

xoxo
Nash