3/6

Gap

 

"Hyuk! Guess what I got you!"

Donghae had excitement written all over his features, his hands hidden behind his back and a smile wide across his face. Meanwhile, the other was busy taking off his heavy coat as some snowflakes dusted off onto the floor, settling like jewel drops next to a not-so-discreetly hidden cardboard box. It stood out in the spotless doorway like an eye sore, almost unidentifiable after barely surviving the wind and rain. Within it there was a dirty rag, scrunched up in the outline of an ball, as if something had been tucked inside a few moments ago.

No matter how much Donghae liked to joke about it, Eunhyuk's IQ was undeniably high, and so he answered the shorter man while only pretending to be 'curious'.

"What is it? You know I don't need anything, you didn't have to do this for me."

His smile grew even wider. How happy would Eunhyuk be when he saw his gift! Although anyone who was brave enough to suffer Eunhyuk's glare (nobody dared) would point out that it was more a gift for Donghae rather than the former, he was sure that they would both love it, sooner or later.  

"I didn't do much, really, I was just walking back as usual-" 

"Did you have an umbrella?" The elder cut him off as he unwrapped his own scarf and hung it onto the rack.

"Um...... yes?" He replied with a hint of guilt. "Ok, I didn't. I'm sorry.... I promise to take a cab next time! But we can talk about that later. Your gift is waiting for you!" He fidgeted again, impatient.

Eunhyuk felt somewhat sorry for the animal that Donghae was undoubtedly holding, whatever it was. The student had never had a pet before- did he know how to look after one? An image of Donghae crying after accidentally dropping the animal made him gulp, and he finished taking off his outer clothes at a quicker speed. 

Seeing that he was ready, Donghae took a deep breath and brought his hands to the front. So small that it could fit into just one of his palms, there sat a dazed-looking Pomeranian puppy. Its eyes were so big that they almost made up half of its face, and what golden brown fur it had glowed softly after the careful bath before. As both men held their breaths in silence- Donghae towards the puppy and Eunhyuk towards the look in the student's loving eyes- the small bundle of fur gave out a tiny yip that pierced the hearts of both grown men irreversibly.

Donghae's smile turned nervous now. What if Eunhyuk didn't like her? This was Eunhyuk's apartment, where Donghae always came after football practices on weekends, and he hadn't brought the puppy home because his dorm did not allow pets there. If Eunhyuk didn't want her to stay then she would have nowhere else to go except a pet shop, which were all notorious for only caring about the outer appearance of animals and not their health. The brunette's eyes mirrored that of the animal he was holding, as they both peered up at the tallest man.

Eunhyuk wanted to chuckle at this comical scene, but Sungmin's words appearing out of nowhere made him hesitate. This wasn't right. He shouldn't be welcoming another member into their relationship. He had other, much more important, ties to break. Now wasn't the time to relax- that could always come later.

"Donghae, I know how much you like animals, and I must admit that this one is very cute, but I just don't have the time and effort to look after a puppy right now. It can stay here for the meantime, while I look for someone who can raise it, but that's the most I can do. Thank you for the gift, but... I'm sorry that it can't stay with me." All of this was said to the puppy. He didn't have the heart to look into Donghae's eyes. 

"But... wait.... Hyuk, you don't have to look after it on your own! I'll help you, I'll come here every day, or if that's not enough, I'll move-"

"Donghae." The tone was stern yet rushed. Was Eunhyuk scared of something? "Every decision I make has already considered all the factors, so that's the final answer. You must be tired, being out in the snow, rescuing this dog... why don't you go home early today to have a rest?"

The younger was disappointed and confused. He felt like crying, but held it in. 

"Ok then. Bye, Hyuk. Have a good Sunday." He didn't know why Eunhyuk was acting this way all of a sudden. 

"See you later, Donghae."

The small pup was handed gingerly over to the dark haired man, before its giver dressed himself for battling the weather outside. He watched as a hand extended- a hand which had once held itself out to him- to open the door for his exit.

He stepped outside. Seeing the puppy's large pondering eyes made him want to ask the other what had happened, because something surely must have. But what was the use if he didn't want to tell him?

He petted the animal one last time, turned around, and walked away.

Eunhyuk stood in the doorway for a long time even after a back view could no longer be seen. There was so much to say. So much that hadn't been said. So much that he couldn't tell him.

The cold gusts circling in the doorway made both figures shiver, as the smaller of the two whimpered in complaint. Eunhyuk only closed his eyes, and whispered,

"Have a good Sunday, Donghae-ah."

 

**

 

Donghae sat in his chair, playing mindlessly with his pen while waiting for class to start. It was Monday, but the day of the week shouldn't be blamed for him being almost the only one present. After all, Donghae was a whole hour early.

He just didn't want to stay at home anymore. After the semi-fight with Eunhyuk (that's what he thinks it is, anyways), seeing the other's things everywhere around his house only made him more frustrated from their constant reminders. It was not the first time they had fought, but normally it was the other way around- Donghae would be the one who didn't reveal why he felt down, and Eunhyuk would be the one trying to find out why. If this excuse wasn't enough, his dad had also wanted him to go home to celebrate his promotion, and he didn't want to be forced to make conversation with his father's friends, so wasting time by arriving early seemed the best option.

The result saw a brunette with an unreadable yet sorrowful expression leaning with his head on one of his hands, fiddling with a pen in the other. A silver phone lied face up in front of him, so that any notifications could be seen with one glance. 

Though it would be wrong to assume that he was 'sad'. It wasn't his fault that he had a default sad face; if he could choose it would definitely look nicer. But he obviously couldn't, which only made him more surprised when in his peripheral vision, someone sat down next to him.

Donghae wasn't antisocial, or had any problems with someone sitting there, but he was a bit wary. Why had this person also come so early? Why did they sit right next to him, when this position wasn't exactly the best in the room for reading off the board, and why did they just poke his right arm with their index finger?!

"I'm... sorry for interrupting, but could you please help me with something?"

Donghae's head was still on his hand, bent down, and his eyes widened when he at first heard the voice without seeing the person's face. It was just..... so similar to Eunhyuk's voice. In fact, it was identical. Except that it sounded a bit lost, and Eunhyuk would never speak to him like that. His eyes fell. Eunhyuk, if he had any worries, would always keep them to himself, never sharing them with Donghae. He never complained, and although the younger knew he probably would be of no help anyways, he still wanted his boyfriend to share his bad days with him, not just his good ones.

"Um....." That soft voice dragged him back from his thoughts and he realized with embarrassment that he had just zoned out and ignored the person. He lifted his head to utter an apology, but instead had to use every single cell in his body to not scream into the other's face from shock.

How was this possible?!!

Was this a prank? How was this supposed to be explained? Why would he prank him like this? Why???

"Hyuk, what the hell are you doing? Why are you dressed like that and why is your hair dyed and why are you here?!"

The other person seemed flustered and a bit taken back. Donghae smiled upon his cuteness and leaned forward to embrace the other in a welcome. No matter how weird he looked right now, he was still his Hyuk and he still adored him to bits. 

This time the other person stood up and backed away slightly. He looked a little shocked, which in fact made him more cute in Donghae's eyes, and his cheeks were heating up slowly. 

"I.. Uh..... do you know me? I mean, of course not, since I don't know you, but... how did you know my name?" His single lidded eyes were wide, making them even bigger than their already-large size. Donghae was suddenly reminded of the puppy he had picked up yesterday.

"Hyuk, stop joking with me. Why are you here?" He was confused at why the other was acting this way. Did this have anything to do with the weirdness he showed last night?
 
"I.... I don't understand what.... I'll just introduce myself to make sure you haven't recognized me as someone else. Uh...." He bowed awkwardly, wedged between the desk and chair, and Donghae almost giggled. "My name is Lee Hyukjae, I am in my first year and also taking this class. I just transferred here from another university, and I think I got the time wrong since no one seems to be here right now. Well.... except for you. So I thought I'd come to ask you, but..." He trailed off, not knowing how to explain what had just happened. 

Donghae continued to stare at the man and studied him closely. He was wearing a light blue jacket, too large for his thin body, with tight black jeans underneath. They were all clearly not clothes from famous brands, like Eunhyuk always wore, and said man would also never be seen dead in something as.... cute casual as this. The man in front of him looked exactly the same height as Eunhyuk, except his hair was not black and styled up- it was a platinum brown, settled in its natural state, and looked so soft it could rival that of the puppy's last night. Donghae had no idea why this man reminded him so much of the small animal.

But the most significant thing about the male, was that his face was exactly the same as Eunhyuk's. Although he was about a meter away, his almond eyes, defined jawline, plump lips... all were exactly the same as the face of the one who had sent him away last night. 

Under his judging stare, the standing male fidgeted uncomfortably. Was he afraid of his prank being revealed? Donghae thought, forgetting that his behavior was actually quite rude, especially if the other was telling the truth. 

After many, many repeated replies of "Yes" as the answer to "Are you really telling the truth?", Donghae remained skeptical but decided to play along. If he was Eunhyuk, he'd have done this for a reason so Donghae should do his best to help him. They exchanged phone numbers, because even though Donghae seemed "a bit weird", he looked like "an interesting person who maybe could help him with other things too". Donghae wasn't sure if "interesting" was supposed to be a compliment. He accepted it as one nevertheless.

It was not long before other students started arriving, and the class finally started. Throughout the whole session, the male- Hyukjae, as he called himself- was entirely focused on the lesson and only talked to Donghae about one or two questions he didn't understand. The latter of course could not concentrate for even a second when there was someone sitting next to him who looked like his boyfriend yet claimed not to be. Especially since their names were also so similar. Lee Eunhyuk... Lee Hyukjae. Donghae's head began to hurt from all the possibilities this situation could be explained by, because there was absolutely none he could think of. He decided to wait and see what would happen. 


**

 

He hadn't heard from the other man for the whole week, so it was understandable for him to want to decline the invitation, right? Donghae was a bit angry. Eunhyuk had basically disappeared from his life after one short message- "The dog (I've named her Choco) is with my sister so you can visit her anytime you want. I'm going overseas for work, will be back later this week." and then nothing at all until Saturday. The brunette scrolled down with a flick of his fingers, ending at the latest messages. "There's an office party tonight to celebrate our success earlier this week. Do you want to come?" And then a few seconds later, as if it was an afterthought, "My parents are going too."

Knowing Eunhyuk, these two messages revealed so many things that Donghae didn't want to understand, but did. The older man never said anything without explaining it, so when he did say things on its own, the significance was often great. The last message was not something he forgot to say, because he didn't explain why that should matter when he was asking Donghae to go or not. The reason he added that was therefore clear to Donghae and made him slightly nervous. Eunhyuk's parents disliked Donghae. But the former still wanted him to come even if his parents were there, so it meant that he wanted to resolve the conflict between them by bringing Donghae into the public and declaring their relationship.  

The brunette initially wanted to meet him privately and ask him about Lee Hyukjae, who had kept up his weird act of seeming completely innocent and honest around him for the whole week. Yet he knew what a big step tonight would be if he agreed to go, so he pushed that thought back before confirming. The reply was almost instant. Obviously Eunhyuk had been waiting for him.

"I'll come over at 5 with your clothes. It's quite formal so you'll need a suit."

 

**

 

It was the first time he travelled in a limo, so it was unsurprising how Donghae was overcome with excitement rather than nervousness. He explored all corners of the luxurious vehicle, picking up bit and pieces to inspect them, and even made faces out the window just because of the complete one-way opaqueness. In contrast, Eunhyuk sat still in the center of the long seat, seemingly immersed in the phone in his hands. Every now and then he would look up to answer some of Donghae's questions about tonight, which were all vague and not about anything between them. Such as the fact that they had to hire a limo just to keep up the elder's reputation in front of the hundreds of guests that were also going to be there. The atmosphere wasn't uncomfortable, but they had never been like this before. Donghae felt like there was something Eunhyuk wasn't telling him, something that would impact him greatly when it was revealed, because it already changed their moods so much right now. 

He finally settled down opposite Eunhyuk, and the scene inside the limo would look like an art piece if it was captured. The two men wore matching suits- the dark haired man in all black, and the brunette in all white. The light was dim, casting shadows onto the face of the latter as he leaned forward with his elbows on his legs and hands crossed together, gazing at the man opposite whose head was lowered, his expression unreadable. Donghae opened his mouth to say something, when both their bodies jerked simultaneously. They had arrived. 

Eunhyuk checked his phone one last time before stepping out of the opened door into a sea of flashing lights. He tried to calm himself- not from the mass of cameras, he was used to that by now- but from the reassurance of the message he had just closed. "We're ready to welcome him."

After showcasing a professional smile, the man turned back around and reached out a hand. The corners of his lips softened with genuineness and encouragement at the person inside the car. Donghae took a deep breath. Once he left this car, he wasn't just 'Donghae' anymore. People would associate him with Eunhyuk, and Eunhyuk with him, so he needed to try hard to look his best for the both of them. He dug his nails harshly into the outstretched fingers in front of him and stepped out into a night that was brighter than day.

In the past, he had seen events like this, but he was on the other end of the focus. Now he was actually scared. The blinding lights, piercing questions, deafening screams, and overwhelming attention made him want to go back straight into the limo and hide there. He felt his numb fingers being spread open by warmer ones, and he was then tugged forward by his hand locked tightly in another. His legs felt weak, but somehow he managed to cross most of the hideous carpet beneath him, seeming to have no end.

Suddenly, a much louder gasp sounded close to him and distracted him for a second. He turned his head to find a girl in a silky pink dress, collapsed on the ground with shock, anger, and embarrassment over her delicate features. She was rubbing one of her ankles, close to tears, and was pointing at Donghae with another shaking hand. The attention of every single camera was now focused on this area, and the questions started changing in tone.

"Did you push her to the ground?"

"Did you two have a fight?"

"Were you in a relationship together?" 

Donghae's head was swelling so much it was going to burst. What had happened? One moment he was walking, and then the next she was on the ground. He had barely even brushed past her, let alone knock her to the ground! Instead of explaining himself, all the student did was to stand there with a horrified expression on his face, which could easily be mistaken as guilt. 

A manager of the party had arrived and was starting to inspect the situation. The CEO himself was involved, even if just indirectly, so he had to make sure this was dealt with not even a chance for mistakes.

"What happened?" He asked the girl who fell, motioning for medical help to come.

"He... he pushed me, and then I tripped over." She was trying hard not to let any tears fall, her eyes b full with liquid. He cast a short glance toward Donghae, who stayed frozen.

The manager then asked around some of the crowd who were standing right next to the incident on the other side of the barrier. They all agreed that they didn't see everything clearly, but the brunette was definitely walking towards her from behind, and they were very close when she started to fall. It seemed obvious. The boy had knocked her over on accident. There was something that seemed a bit off, but he pushed that thought back to deal with this situation first.

"Madam, it seems like it was just an accident. So if you would please accept an apology from this gentleman, and then feel free to rest in one of the private rooms that we have prepared for you to treat your injuries."

"But I didn't even touch her." 

The manager frowned. He did not ask anything of the boy, just a simple apology, because that was the most he could do to show respect for the person who he came with. But the boy not only threw away this kind gesture, and even dared to make more problems? His eyes grew hard.

"Sir, if you would please apologize to the madam, and then enter quickly. There are still guests waiting to come in, and if you stay here only more troubles will arise."

"But I didn't even touch her. Hyuk......" He was about to say more before he was cut off.

"Sir, if you do not do what I have just asked of you, I'm afraid we will have to arrange transportation for you to leave now."

Nobody moved or said anything for a few seconds. Then, shocking everybody and raising the tension even higher than thought possible, Eunhyuk let go of Donghae's hand.

He sounded tired. "Donghae, just say sorry and we can go in. He's only doing his job, it's not personal or anything." 

The younger's heart shattered. He didn't believe him. Didn't he say that no matter what happened, he would always stand on his side? This was nothing big, but it was always the little things that had the potential to break someone's heart. Donghae tried one last time.

"Hyuk, do you not believe me? I would apologize if I really did do it, but I didn't."

Eunhyuk said nothing. He just stood there, waiting. 

Finally, Donghae let out one breath of pitiful laughter, and walked back before slamming the door to a cab going home.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

A/N: how many references to Winter Love can you find?

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ma-jewelry
(very) not happy with how the poster turned out but that will have to do. gonna write the actual story now haha a bit late ik

Comments

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Achichi #1
Chapter 6: Mom it's so sad TT
yvette0912
#2
Chapter 6: Oh my……
choimyuna
#3
Chapter 6: Godddddd my tears are dropping this was veryyyyyyy heartbreaker it broke my heart into pieces . I liked the story since i like angst plot put that was too many ch for me to handle I didn't expect it at all thank you author nim for sharing this ❤️
lovemimi
#4
This is so heartbreaking.. why must it end this way? I demand a sequel. A happy ending. There is just too much sad thing happening in our daily life. Now even ff is torturing me. I can't...
Baegoppahansam #5
Chapter 6: My heart just broke </3 ㅜㅜ
I can't stop crying. Eunhyuk why?! Why didn't you fight for it? You both love each other, I bet Hae is willing to fight for your love. WHY? EUNHYUK WHY?! I HATE SUNGMIN'S IDEA </3 ㅜㅜ is there a sequel? Huhuhuhu. Authornim :'(
Sinbihae
#6
Chapter 6: I am crying... I feel so sad for Eumhyuk sacrificing his own happiness for the one he loves... T.T
plainflair
#7
Chapter 6: Sighs why have I not found this earlier ; ; ;
Altho it's heart breaking but what Eunhyuk did was for the best but-- :(((( ok but then there's Hyukjae meeeep ;)

But Sungmin tho... wew your plan
minjoo #8
Chapter 6: Poor donghae :( but he fell inlove with "Hyukjae" too so not bad
chasinghyuk #9
</3
My heart is literally broken, I just :///////////////////
I really thought Eunhyuk was going back with Hae but it seems that baby Hae is just being toyed around :((((((((((((((((((
Why T.T
SilverEunhae #10
Chapter 6: Huhuhuhu I thought they were the same person not something like this huhuhu let me cry over this sad plot twist. </3