"I curse you," she spat much with grudge, face darken as her heart fall into the deepest hell at the sight of the man. Tears never looked so offensive and red, flooding even more her drowned self as her lips snarled, "to never found peace in death and walking alone on earth till the end of time."

The man had winced at the words, feeling his very heart burning to the fingertips as his sight filled with blackness and stinging pain. More to the hatred thrown at him rather than the consequences of those curse, because it was her, the sweet, loving woman he ever known. The beautiful face which ever painted with pretty smile every time the pair of deep sweet brown eyes landed on him, now only filled with rage and despise, face the ever beautiful yet lost it's sweetness to the deep hatred.

He thought nothing would hurt him more than that, the lurching sight of grudge glaring at him. The sight which he rather close his eyes to for a million years yet he's unable to even take a glance away. But it was the last words, which caused his heart to sink into the deepest hell as hers has and his sight to be engulfed by darkness as burning pain swimming inside him.

"And to only find your end when your loved one finish you in anger as much as I've felt now."

--

So befitting of me, he had thought bitterly. How many times has he tortured himself by reciting the curse and replaying the scene over and over again in his head? Was it a good feeling to pour salt over open wounds? No, but there's this certain sting which feels foolishly addictive.

Things developing so fast from commuting by walking with foot covered only in straw slippers to riding subways, buses, cars and all the sorts. Yet the pain from long faded memories remains like a bad song stuck in your head, that no matter how you hate the song it would keep repeating itself like a broken radio ignoring how your mind getting insane.

The world is changing, the people are changing, everything is changing, it just him who stuck at the same time, appearance and pain. When before a display of bare ankle of a woman was too much to comprehend and now a topless woman at the beach would only gather a side glances, he's still stuck with the same face, the same skin, eyes and dreaded soul.

Naive as he was thinking that his only sin would remained at that dark cursed day, how wrong he was. Here he is, lost in the middle of sea of people, air mixed with stinking breaths and pollution, conflicted whether to keep breathing when the air is too foul to retain life yet he has to do so. Ironically no longer dreading about the fact that he's accumulating his sins to the size of a mountain every each day he survived his overdue life.

"Lost in thoughts?"

He turned his head slightly to the source of the voice, seeing a young man standing not too far with black hair combed to the back revealing a handsome features of a face... and body he guessed. "For me I guess it's lost in sins," he replied nonchalantly thinking to get over it fast for the stranger to let him be.

"Then we're all," the young man said with a bit of smile gracing his thin peachy lips.

"I've an awful lot of sins compared to a hundred people's."

"Who to measure it?"

The man frowned, displeased because the young man still talking to him and because the stranger sounds like preaching.

"Look brat," for him even an old sack of one hundred years of age would be a brat. "Who cares who's measuring it? For all I care everybody can do sins and pay their off it or not, so why do you care about mine?" he snarled showing his ever white and ordered teeth, opposite to the crooked one of the stranger.

Yet despite the threat and obvious warning to stay away, the young man further smiling and said, "I don't, that’s why you shouldn't."

The man frowing even deeper at that mostly caused by confusion.

"Rather than measuring your sins, isn't it better to always do good deeds?"

The man scoffed, "kid, I've lived since the Hun people first came to this land, the curse not only sustain me to never die but begrudgingly also causes my sins to never find it's end." he could careless about telling his true self to other people, no one would believe him after all, this young man too would walk away after guessing he had lost his mind.

Yet this young man is everything he hadn’t guess, he merely looked shocked before his face rest calmly again. "Even so, why not at least try? Doing a good deed won't hurt," he smiled, eyebrows twitching between disbelief and amused.

"You know nothing and it's none of your business, just go will you?"

"Why don't you tell me then? I'm willing to listen."

"Why are we even talking about this? What is it for you? Who the are you?" the immortal man grumbled impatiently, starting to get annoyed.

"I'm Lee Donghae, and I just wanna know," the young man who called himself Donghae brightens up before offering his hand for a hand shake.

But the other man won't shake it, what for? "Look, kid, maybe you're just that naive or stupid, but putting your nose where it doesn't belong to won't always end up good. So now move your before you lose it."

"No, you won’t."

"I won’t what?" he sighed tiredly.

"You won’t do anything bad, Hyukjae, I know."

The man then snapped his head like he had been electrocuted, eyes wide in shock for his name to be said by someone he didn't know. Who the hell is this brat?

"You were begging for help, I heard it. So let me help you, Lee Hyukjae."

"...You heard?"

"I can hear the voices from human's deepest heart."

--

"Have you really lived for centuries?"

"You can hear human's heart yet you didn't believe that?" Hyukjae snorted skeptically.

"Mine is more of a sixth sense, as many said it. But you? How?"

"I am an abomination, that's how."

"Hyukjae, I'm serious."

"And I'm seriously answering you."

Silence fell on them, one thinking over the words and another merely pull another drag of the cigarette, filling his lungs with toxic smoke.

"You've been smoking non stop, that's not good."

"I can't die no matter how I tried, Donghae."

The young man then wondering how the other is lost haunting the world for so many years, suffering with no one to stay beside him for long.

"What did you do?"

And Hyukjae didn't have to ask what exactly Donghae asked of, he knew it was the reason for his heart wrenching for help after all these years.

"Not for you to know."

"Did you stole something?"

Hyukjae laughed, "what a petty crime."

"Did you... Uhm, make someone suffer?"

"Maybe."

Donghae tighten his grip over his knee, "did you kill someone?"

Hyukjae took another long drag of his cigarette, eyes gazing into the far distance although his entire being focused solely at those words.

"Something like that."

--

"I used to go there with my dad and bro, we're such an animal lover," he pointed at the zoo excitedly almost like a child even though he's over twenty five years old. "We don't get to go there again though, got no money to spare."

"Then what are you doing here with me? I got no money to give to you too, I don't even have an id with me, I don't exist anywhere."

"Who said I want money from you?" He said a bit angry feeling offended. "I just want to see you before I go to my job!"

"Well, you said that you got no money nonchalantly like that, so it got me thinking that."

"You're an . I just said that because I don't want to pity myself, we're still good anyway."

Hyukjae snorted, "no, you don't pity yourself, you just trying not to."

He blushed in shame, finding some truth in the words thrown to him. He was angry with Hyukjae, but the look on the other's face got him thinking.

"So are you."

"In times, yeah. Other times? I'm lost in self pity," Hyukjae shrugged in honesty and Donghae found himself admiring a bit of Hyukjae's bravery over his own vulnerable sides.

Hyukjae acts like a jerk sometimes, but he never hides anything about himself, even his weakness are laid bare for all to see and his words always the truth.

"I love my dad, you know."

"Huh?" Hyukjae frowned utterly confused at the sudden change of topic.

"He was a single parent, hard working and always hides it from us, my little bother and I, his troubles and stress so not to worry us. We are poor, everyday is always a battle of how would we survive another day. But he was strong for all of us, although I wish he would share his problems with at least me so that it could relieve him a bit... He is my hero."

Hyukjae's eyes are straight on the road, lips tightly shut as if contemplanting before he said, "the more he hold it in, the faster he would burn."

"Yeah, I thought so too," Donghae let a pained smile grow on his lips, "from him I know how hard it is to be true to oneself, to show and never hide one's weaknesses. I guess knowing you I get to know what it means to be strong."

Once again Hyukjae scoffed at that, "for those who still have hopes, it might be seen as strength, but me? I'm just given up of everything Donghae, you shouldn't use me as some sort of false image."

"But you still lives, you still living your life."

Hyukjae turned to face Donghae, eyes hollow and dark, "trust me if I can end this sorry life of mine, I would do it right at this second."

Donghae gulped nervously at that, "but-"

"Is it so hard for you to get it that I can't die?"

Donghae flinched a bit at the impatient tone thrown at him, but he was not one to give up, "is there really no way for you to die?" It was in every way weird to ask about death in that manner, as if the both of them are trying hard to figure out the best suicide method.

Something akin to sorrow then roused within the hollow eyes, for once it was filled with a different light although it was a sad one.

"There is," he whispered as if it weight heavier than his sins.

--

"Well, now that my room all tidied up, why don't you talk to me?" Hyukjae huffed after cleaning his chaostic room and rest both his hands on his waist. He had finally, after many years wandering aimlessly in the street, decided to own a small studio to rest or catch some sleep. He has no need for it actually, as he couldn't die no matter how tired or starving his body is and he just got used to that kind of life. But then again, there are times when Donghae wanted to go away from his home, to run to a place where he could relax from all his problems and all that sort. So he rented that room just for that, to be come a place for Donghae to rest and be himself.

He hadn't really realize it yet how attached he's becoming toward that boy, how he started to care, how he now have something he wants to do with his overdue life. And how special and amazing it is as he had already given up for everthing of life before.

Donghae exhaled a long sigh, "same old problem, my dad drunk and he hit me."

"Where? Let me look at it," the immortal man walked closer to where the boy is sitting on the floor, near the tv.

"That's okay, he- Ouch!" He winced as Hyukjae grabbed his head to let his face shown to the other, "you touch it right where it hurts!"

"He hit your head?" Hyukjae his head carefully to feel any bump without necessarily adding pain.

"Like it was something new?" He snorted before sighing again, "he was a great dad before he's drinking. He still is, until he found his collections which I hid."

"I told you he would burnt out faster," Hyukjae massaged Donghae's nape and shoulders, relaxing the tense muscles and a bit of stress.

"Yeah... But what to say when it was his character, hmm," he hummed as the slender fingers massaged right at the good spots.

"Lie down on my bed, I will massage your back."

Donghae chuckled dozzily, "what are you? A masseur? You always give me a massage every time I came here..."

"Well, I couldn't help you with anything, my money was only enough for me so... At least I could unburden your stress a bit," Hyukjae shrugged with a face like he didn't give a rat .

But Donghae knew better, he smiled as he close his eyes to sleep, feeling most protected and comforted at Hyukjae's presence, "just you being there with me is more than enough Hyukjae."

This time the smile rose on Hyukjae's lips, "you should know nothing is free, brat."

"Yeah?" He opened one of his eyes to peek at Hyukjae's expression before he close it again and replied, "and what should I pay you with?"

"Respect, I'm much much much older than even your great great greaaaat grandfather."

"Really now? After all this time? You sounds like a y one year older senior who's trying so hard to place his position up in hierarchy," he laughed much in mock.

"This, this is what I call by being disrespectful brat," Hyukjae clicked his tongue jokingly faking disagreement.

Donghae continue laughing and cease at it as he let his eyes stared back into Hyukjae's dark ones, "seriously though, what should I give you for all the helps you've given me?"

"Don't look so serious, it didn't do well on your face," Hyukjae snorted with a laugh. "And what help? I didn't do anything, you must have imagining it."

Donghae mimicked Hyukjae's snort, signing he didn't take that bull because he know roughly what was the reason for Hyukjae to rent that studio.

"I guess I just find you interesting to pass my boring life, that's it. You don't need to think of anything," Hyukjae added.

Donghae grinned brightly, "you know what Hyukjae, you may try acting like you don't give a about anything or me, but I have already got you figured out."

Hyukjae rolled his eyes, "whatever you imagine me to be, just keep it to yourself, I want to keep my cool image."

"Oh, but you are honestly cool, and I think I like this side of you."

"Whatever," he answered uncaringly although Donghae noticed the red blush on his earlobes.

"You're also cute, did you know that?"

--

There are days where Hyukjae can't be reached, no matter how Donghae tries to seek him out. After being the best of friend for nearly four years, Donghae had enough of those days so he let himself into Hyukjae's studio with his spare key. But what he found in that studio after missing Hyykjae for almost a week, was a chaostic room far more messy than the usual. Everything was thrashed and thrown to everywhere, glasses all over the floor, whatever liquids wetting the floor and the curtains, sheets and everything was ripped angrily. But there was no sign of Hyukjae.

He was worried like hell, thinking of the worst scenario that the man had been kidnapped or something of the sort. Until two days later Hyukjae came home like nothing is wrong except he looked tired more than he had ever seen.

"What are you doing here?" Hyukjae mumbled lowly as he hang his jacket.

"You were missing for a week and your room was a ing titanic! I was worried like hell!"

"I'm okay, nothing happened, just need some lone time," Hyukjae brushed off like there was nothing wrong.

But Donghae knew there is something off with the way he look, "what happened? Your room doesn't convinced me that nothing happen."

"I'm always messy," he chuckled dryly with no sense of humor.

"Not like this, this looks like a buglar have came storming in," Donghae insisted. "You know you can talk to me."

"Aren't you able to hear human's heart?"

Donghae took a sharp inhale, "that's right."

"Then what are you hearing now?"

"Your screaming voice asking for help."

"Then you only need to know that, you can't help me, so just let it go."

Donghae stood from his seat, emphasizing the words he was about to say, "how can you already decided that I can't help you?"

"I just know, it's my sin, my curse, my problem, you don't need to deal with it."

"You helped me so many times, even my darkest secret you already knew and accept it. Why can't you trust me with yours?"

"Because you would hate me for it."

--

Hyukjae knew than anybody else how Donghae loves his dad and little brother, how high he value his family. He also know how Donghae hates his dad whenever alcohol defeats him and losing it to hit him and his little brother. Yet still he respect his dad, loves him as he's a great dad to look up to in the day although at some nights his dad was but a man drowning in depression. Donghae respect him no matter what because this little family wouldn't be able to survive if it weren't for the father figure. Even with Donghae working, his money wouldn't get them anywhere, even more so because he wanted to let his little brother keep going to school. He didn't want his sweet little brother to be what he is.

That fated day, when Donghae had come home from a long tiring jobs, he found his little house wrecked and stained with deaths. Blood was everywhere, came mostly from the little lifeless body of his brother, head and limbs looking odd at being beaten inhumanly. His dad was sitting against a wall, a knife handle sprouting out from his stomach adding to the gore within the house. His heart stop, soul tortured in the worst way as he denies the sight before him, it took a long time for him to understand what's happening and who he had lost.

He stood there by the door motionlessly, eyes wide in horror as his heart start beating erratically at the realization, the gruesome reality. He screamed, cried, shrieked and ran to the bloodied, cold bodies to embrace them, to let the red liquid soaking his clothes, to further realize he had truly lost his loved ones. As he cries and cries, his mind was losing it, grief took over and he lost himself, numbed to the core at the shock and trauma.

"I had intended to clean it up before you come home, but you just had to come early today."

Donghae snapped his head to the voice, the one he was so familiar with, the one had brought him peace, safety and comfort. There he found Hyukjae standing in the middle of bloodshed, looking down on him with unreadable face.

"I did it," the voice added and Donghae frowned at the meaning of it, for a split second his mind having a turmoil of inner battle. It was that sweet, caring Hyukjae, the who had shown him care, help and gentleness. It was that Hyukjae who made him feel safe and content whenever he was around. That Hyukjae and now he's standing in the middle of that massacre red handed.

It wasn't a long process before rage took all over his being, screaming in despair as he pulled out the knife from his dad's body, cutting through the thick flesh of Hyukjae as a mean of vengeance. Pushing it deep and dragging the immortal man across the room until they hit a wall, bringing his face closer as to scream in hatred right on Hyukaje's face.

"Why?! You ing bastard, why?!" He screamed in repeat as his tears never cease.

"My curse..." Hyukjae coughed with a wicked smile. "It makes me alive so many years, but it also force me to take another life as an exchange..."

" you! you Hyukjae! Why me?! Why my dad and brother?! Why!"

"They just happened to be there when I was losing my mind."

A fist hit him hard on the face, then again and again until he taste nothing but blood inside his mouth and pain as his bones cracking. So much rage and hatred thrown at him from the once sweet, calm and peaceful Donghae. Donghae who was so patient, a peacemaker and of collected mind. It was the same Donghae who now is nothing but raging hatred filled with so much bloodlust. Hyukjae closed his eyes, letting himself being hit repeatedly, blamed and hated.

But this, even through a thick fog of hatred and rage, Donghae knew best what it meant. The way Hyukjae looked as if he had given up, the same look whenever he's willing to took all the blame just to sort out any problems between them.

"You once said, you had done a terrible sin of killing your loved one," Donghae said through gritted teeth as he's trying so hard to contain the bursting hatred. "Was your curse due to it?"

Hyukjae had resigned, knowing Donghae deserve the truth more than ever now. "She was in love with someone... Someone who then died and their child followed him. She was... A wreck, mad and crazy... She knew I love her and begged me to take her life rather than suffering alone with no one to love..." Hyukjae gasped deeply, breath clogged more due to emotional turmoil rather than the wide opening of his stomach. "I was jealous and angry of how she never see me... So I granted her wish, I killed her, I was just that mad. A-and her twin was... She was angry at me, hated me and cursed me to be more of a monster I was am. I deserve no life, no love, nothing..."

Donghae bit the inside of his cheeks, tears adding to the salty taste of his blood, but it was like a slap to another realization. Yes he now know that the man in front of him is a murderer and he took his dad's life. But he knew Hyukjae was something more.

"You killed my dad because he was killing my brother, wasn't it?"

Hyukjae's eyes grew wide in shock, even it was only for a short second, it was answer enough. Donghae knew which is the truth.

"No, it was me who killed them," Hyukjae said with firm voice yet Donghae knew him enough to catch the hidden tone.

"You don't need to retain my dad's name... I knew what he's capable of, how ed up he was recently... It was the first thing that came to my mind when I saw them just now."

"N-no, it was-"

"I hate you Hyukjae, I ing hate you..." Donghae sobbed with eyes swimming in sorrow no longer controlled by rage and hatred. It was hollow and dark, sorrow was the only thing left inside it. "Enough is enough... You don't have to stain your hands more, I knew the truth now."

"I'm already stained, I don't care."

"Well I care! I care and that's why I hate you, so much that is... Hurts," he cried again, burying his face in his palms feeling himself losing more of his sanity. The taste of giving up blooming inside of him.

Then the smooth, red stained hand of the boy pulled the knife out of Hyukjae's stomach, causing blood to gush out as he look at the pool underneath them with hollow eyes.

"I have nothing left... To live on. They're already gone..." Donghae whispered almost inaudible but Hyukjae recognize the desperate look.

"No, don't... Donghae you don't have to-" he watched in horror as the knife once inside him now sinking to Donghae's flesh, slick noises dragging him into madness. "No! Donghae, ! No!"

"It's too late Hyukjae... You can't fix this," Donghae breathed out as he pulled the knife out in purpose to let his blood drains out, mixing with blood of other. The scent of death was thick within the room, but there was something else more than desperation.

"Donghae, no... Don't give up, you can live, you will live. No, don't close your eyes," Hyukjae begged with cries as he pushed his hand deeper to Donghae's wound to stop the bleeding.

"It's okay Hyukjae, you can let it go..." he said with a smile, a contented smile for once like he had fulfilled everything.

"W-why are you doing this?" Hyukjae hiccups in choked cries, bringing his face so close to the boy to feel the faint breathing fanning his cheek.

The bloodied hand caressing Hyukjae's cheek, cupping it with gentleness, "I love you Hyukjae... That's why I can't live with your sin. It's too much for me... I did rather die than to accept it..."

Then the last breath hitting Hyukjae's lips almost like a kiss, a painful kiss filled with remorse, hatred but also love. Even when the body within his arms gave out and becoming lifeless as it getting colder, Hyukjae didn't let go. He embrace Donghae's body with so much emotions and feelings, tighter and tighter.

And as his tears dried out, he realized, the wound in his stomach wasn't closing up, it keep bleeding until he gradually feeling his fingertips going numb and head dizzy in the verge of falling asleep. In the last moment before his consciousness left him for good, he smiled in irony, understanding for once what is it he's feeling.

"I love you too, Hae..."

Then he followed, the last breath gave out for another kiss of realization.

And love.

Whoops! Sorry, do you hate me now? Ahahaha I hope you don't :-D oh sorry too that I don't proofread it.

If you're willing, please give me comment okay? Let me know what you think about this one!