Reviews

Gone

Review by Claraine of Gone by jokinglang
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Title [2/5]
I don’t see anything much from a mono-word title…
Just a little opinion, They’re All Gone… might add a touch of mystery to it? :)

 

Foreword & Description [5.5/10]
A short one, readers are able to grab a rough idea of your storyline.
Still, it doesn’t really stand out for first impression.


Poster/Background [8/10]
I like it.
The words on your background make things so much clearer for me, who got blank after reading your title.
The shade of blue for the shattered heart works its magic. It finishes off the picture with a cold, helpless, lonely feel…


Plot [8/20]
There’s hardly anything conflict, , drama?
You seem to be emphasizing only on Minho’s feeling & his ‘history’.
I was expecting for some drama, but it never came, it just ended… .____.

Characters [6/15]
Ifinished the story, yet, I don’t really know their personality and such.
Minho is rich, lack of love. Jangmi, poor but gives Minho hope.
Minho feels melancholic after her death. Nothing else…

Grammar & Spelling [5/5]
So, English is not your first language. I’ll go easy on this one.
To be honest, no apparent grammar mistakes or misuse of words.
Anyhow, you can try stepping out of the safe zone, give new things a try, put your creativity to work. :)

Style [2/5]
You narrate it, straight & in order.
It’s not an essay, girl… ^^

Try to twist your style of writing to better catch readers’ attention and to make it look more professional.

Originality [4.5/10]
I wouldn’t say it’s unoriginal, because it’s kind of different from fan-fictions I see here…
[refers to plot]
Still, girl kills herself because her lovers’ family disapprove of them is not a fresh idea.


Captivating [5/10]
It’s one too-short oneshot...
I'm hardly into the story yet before it ended... >_<

Flow & Entertainment [7/10]
Okay, it flows well, doesn’t get stuck…
It doesn’t annoy me at all thanks to the smooth flow, so score point for you. ^^

Overall [53.5/100]

 

No doubt it’s a oneshot, you should alter your writing style on it.


Construct a storyline with ups & downs.
Reason for the overall scoring, it’s not exactly that disapproving.
It’s just that your plot affects it all.
Because it went plain and came to an abrupt end, I got nothing (almost) from it.


All the best to you. ^^


So I'm going to start working on my writing skills!

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Comments

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TabzzVee
#1
I feel so bad for minho TT-TT
KayyhM #2
o.O
YURIREADER
#3
OUCH!