I am different.
I always knew I was different.
I don't know how to explain it like a logically thinking human being but sometimes when I look at my reflection, I always seemed slightly...unreal.
It was as if I was there, I am here 
but 
I am not there, I am not here.
A round chubby face with high cheekbones.
A button nose that can never keep my glasses in place.
A pair of small but thick pink lips with the bottom lip slightly bigger.
Dark brown irises, almost black actually, always alert and ready to send alarms to my other senses.
I have seen things 
boys my age would never have even thought about, 
felt emotions girls my age would have never felt 
done things that would never make any parent proud 
but worst of all 
wished for miracles that I would never deserve. 
Maybe that's why my eyes don't shine like normal happy teenage girls.
Maybe that's why my smiles never reach my eyes.
Maybe that's why I  always feel awkward smiling and being happy.
Maybe that's why I don't know the meaning of the phrase 
"to feel alive" .

Some tell me that I have an innocent face. A face radiant with purity and innocence.
If only they knew.

They did find out one day though.