“I heard Chanyeol is going to ask you out this weekend.”

Minseok rolls her eyes. “Park Chanyeol?”

Her best friend, Baekhyun, nods. “Yeah, so?”

“Park Chanyeol is a fetus!”

“Min, he’s only a year and half younger than you.”

“That’s still young.”

Baekhyun shakes her head once she glances at the distaste written on Minseok’s face. “I don’t know what’s with you.”

Minseok takes offense. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

The two girls were in Baekhyun’s apartment studying for a microbiology exam on Monday.

Baekhyun sat on her twin-sized bed, her hair pulled into a messy bun and glasses perched on her nose. She wore a short-sleeved pink chiffon blouse with a layered crayon black skirt with a pair of Jimmy Choo’s on her feet. She had a date with her boyfriend, Yixing in an hour and she didn’t want to waste time changing from her stay-at-home getup to her date outfit when she could spend moments studying with brainy Minseok.

Minseok was wearing a H.I.M. t-shirt with a black cardigan and beige short cuts with a pair of Doc Martens. Her hair, normally free, messy, and wild, was pulled back into a ponytail. She sat on Baekhyun’s computer chair, her notes and books strewn over Baekhyun’s bed.

“It means that I don’t get why you reject these wonderful guys that are just dying to go on a date with you. You won’t even look their way when they give you their time endlessly.”

“Are you saying there’s something wrong with me?” Minseok raises an eyebrow and asks in a disgruntled tone. One thing she disliked was having people tell her what her flaws are, it wasn’t like she hasn’t thought about her imperfections 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but no, she had to have someone else raise the subject of them, too.

Baekhyun sighs, “No, Miss Min, but I’m saying that I have been your friend since we were 10 and I’ve never seen you in a serious relationship with a guy. The only time I’ve seen you in a somewhat committed relationship was with Jongin.”

Minseok wrinkles her nose, memories of the tanned, attractive man flooded to her mind. “Oh, yeah. Him.”

“Yes, him. Now what was so wrong with him that you had to break off your 3 year relationship with him? Was his hair not fluffy enough anymore? Was his smile not dazzling enough for you?” Baekhyun is through playing games with Minseok. Today was the day they are going to get to the root of Minseok’s fear of relationships, maybe it wasn’t even that— maybe she had a fear of commitment.

Nonetheless, this has been going on for years, ever since Minseok was old enough to date (when she turned 16) and now that Minseok had just turned 22, Baekhyun could count how many relationships she’s been in on one hand. Six years of failed relationships and complaints! ‘I can’t stand him!’ or ‘He’s a step away from being a Neanderthal!’

Baekhyun knew Minseok was not a shallow person— it was clear because when she and Jongin first started dating, Jongin was a little more than chubby. Not ugly but he was charming, he still had that cute grin and sparkling eyes, but he was not slim. Maybe a year after their relationship began to take off, Jongin lost weight to become healthy and the two were very happy because of the support they gave one another.

And Minseok was and still is beautiful, she just did not fall under modern beauty standards. She was short, less than the average height. She had baby fat on her hips and thighs, and she carried a bit on her face, mainly in the cheeks area. Baekhyun tells her that her chubby cheeks make her youthful, but Minseok does not see it.

“I don’t know!” Minseok growls, which would have been cute if they were not in the middle of a heated discussion. “Baekhyun, let’s just drop it!”

“No, tell me why you chased away the most lovable guy in the world! He was an honorable and dedicated man, he was at your feet and he was willing to do anything for you, and you just threw him away the next day as if he was yesterday’s trash.”

“Baekhyun.” Minseok warns the younger girl in a firm tone.

“No, tell me. You’ve never justified yourself, and today you will.”

“Leave it alone.” Minseok says with clenched teeth.

“You’re hiding something from me, and I wanna know.”

Minseok shoots out of her chair, pacing in front of Baekhyun with a deranged look on her face. Minseok has always been the one to keep her cool, but these questions that Baekhyun kept pushing at her was making her strength wither. “Fine, you want an explanation for why I dumped Jongin out of nowhere? Well, so would I!”

“What? You’re not—“

“The answer to the million dollar question you are asking is I don’t have any idea why! I just didn’t feel anything for him. You liked him, my parents liked him, hell, and even my cat liked him. But not me! Do you see something wrong with that picture? After 3 years of dating him, I felt nothing. Rather than seeing him as a boyfriend and potential husband, I saw him as a friend instead. There were no butterflies whenever he touched me.”

“S-so you didn’t have…you know… with him?”

Minseok caught her breath and sat down, running her fingers over her thighs. “No.” She whispers. “He wanted to, but I just couldn’t. I wanted my first time to be this wonderful thing that I could always remember. I wanted it to be like fireworks or something silly like that. I didn’t want my first time to be emotionless.”

“But you looked so happy.”

Minseok offers a bitter smile. “I’m just that good of an actress, aren’t I?”  

Baekhyun says nothing, she just scoots closer to Minseok, wrapping her arms around her best friend. Baekhyun rests her cheek on the back of Minseok’s head as Minseok clamped onto Baekhyun’s blouse like a lost, uncomforting child. Baekhyun’s eyes widen when she hears Minseok release a small sniffle. Baekhyun pulls back a few inches, not entirely because Minseok held a death grip on her, and she is surprised to see Minseok tearing up. She has never seen Minseok cry before. Not since they were 12 years old and they had a sleepover at Baekhyun’s house. Baekhyun told Minseok a ghost story that had Minseok crying uncontrollably.

“Baek,” Minseok mumbles, her soulful chocolate brown eyes b with unfallen tears. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing, dear.” Baekhyun tucks Minseok’s head under her chin, not caring that Minseok was soaking a 100 dollar blouse with her salty tears. “You just haven’t found the right one yet.” Minseok whimpers as more tears fall, and Baekhyun just wonders how long Minseok has held in her tears.

Author’s Note

So?! What do you think? Was it good? Did you like it? Did you hate it? What do you think is going on with Minseok? Should Baekhyun talk her into going on a date with Chanyeol?

Next chapter will be longer, I promise but I just wanted to give an intro to Minseok and the demons she face. Well, didn’t go into much detail about her past but just about how she hasn’t felt what love is. YET. I know the chapter escalated quickly lol but I just wanted to start at a point that begins the plot I have in mind. You know Baekhyun has been dealing with this for awhile and she's tired of it haha Next will have Luhan! 

AND for those of you who don't know who H.I.M is, SHAME ON YOU! XP