author: katakatica

title: chocolate mint

reviewer: multiwangs

Title (10/15)

I always love it when the title is mentioned in the story, but it was so brief. A little too brief. I do like the way it was said, but maybe you could try to incorporate it more?

Anyhow, it was cute that ‘Chocolate Mint’ was his scent.

Description/Foreword (8/15)

I like that you put a part of the text in the foreword, sort of like telling me what to look forward to.

Maybe saying that he was found by his mate gives the plot away? That would be the of the story, or one of them. I felt like I already knew the outcome of the story--which I did.

Presentation/Layout (10/10)

I saw that it was updated with a graphic. It took me a while to make out the background, but I suppose that’s irrelevant anyways. It’s written nicely, and I like that you’re the type of author to remember to drop a line when someone new speaks.

Writing Mechanics (19/20)

A+ here. Besides minor mistakes, ones like forgetting to space words, or spacing to quickly. But that’s a given, and it was overall good. I understood it, even when reading the small mistakes.

Writing Style (18/20)

Good! It doesn’t differ much from others I’ve read, but I also like that it appears you don’t let your own emotions steer the story. When you do, it is a little obvious, but maybe that’s just me. (The abusive Sehun is what I’m referring to. It seemed like you didn’t want to make him to villainous.)

Character (28/35)

Let’s start with Kyungsoo.

His introduction isn’t much of an introduction. (ya’ feel me?)

It starts of with his past, his branding. That was a neat way to explain the term ‘mateless.’

But after that, after Kyungsoo found his mate, I find it weird how easily he was happy. Yes, it makes sense for him to be excited. But with that said, with all he’s been through, and this is just my personal opinion, he should have handled it worse.

I didn’t learn much about him after that point, but you did a great job of showing his feelings.

Kai’s next.

I like that Jongin’s feelings are a little more realistic. He felt guilty that he was late, which was natural.

So while I think their emotions (how they cycled through them) were SLIGHTLY unrealistic, it wasn’t to the extent where I didn’t understand it.

Plot (35/45)

I only deducted points because of how short the chapters were. Also, everything was rushed, it seemed. By the second chapter Kaisoo was a thing (don’t get me wrong, I was still excited). Maybe more could have been written, perhaps more about Jongin’s side of things (I understand it was somewhat written, but learning more about him as an alpha would have been nice too, this ties into characterization). I say the best time to start a romance is the third or fourth chapter. Or any time after that.

I like to be drawn in.

But on the brighter side, it was very entertaining.

Originality (12/15)

There are lots of alpha and omega stories. Especially with Kaisoo. I appreciate that yours differed from others, and you came up with ‘nameless.’That added something new, and it added more to the story.

Flow (13/15)

Transitioned nicely. It was easy to read, and I don’t remember having to stop and reread something.  

Personal Enjoyment (12/15)

It’s definitely a story I’d finish. While this type generally isn’t my type of thing, it was undeniably written well.

All I can say is make it as simple as possible to understand, but make sure to make it entertaining. (Length is important too!)

Total

165/200 points

80% ( B )

Reviewer's quote choice:

“The greatest ideas are the simplest.”

― William Golding, Lord of the Flies