author: multiwangs

title: i need u

reviewer: yeoniebb42

 › Title [ 9/10 ]

I like the title. c: It has been used as the title of many other stories, however, I think it could fit. The characters are in despair, they suffer, they’re at the point where they’re beyond repair - perhaps the title suggests that there is a person they need to piece their lives back together. “I need. If only they could find what they need.”

› Description and Foreword [ 10/10 ]

Those three words. With just three words, I was so oddly intrigued. There really is beauty in simplicity, isn’t there? I have to admit that this genre isn’t one I read all too often not to mention, I seldom read BTS fics so the fact that you caught my attention with so few words is a feat of its own. A+ I should also mention that the gifs were well chosen! A picture speaks a thousand words.

› Plot [ 15/15 ]

I think the prologue was more of an introduction to the characters than anything else but I like what you have going. It’s like a suspenseful trailer that gets you running to the cinema ready to purchase a ticket. ouo Truth be told,  I am a little frightened about what is to come so I have to rethink whether or not I can really handle this plot nevertheless, regardless of my non-existent bravery, well done! This plot is a dark flowerbud getting ready to bloom~

› Character Development [ 9/10 ]

I’m quite surprised that you could actually reveal so much about so many characters in one chapter. That deserves a gold star. With that said, I’m not entirely sure whether or not I can fault you on this but…I couldn’t understand Seokjin or Namjoon at all! ._. They just come off across as random strangers that meddle in other people’s business however, now that I’m pointing this out, it’s rather interesting that they represent opposing sides of morality with Seokjin on the light side for being a guardian angel and Namjoon on the dark side for being a satan-like character ruining everybody’s lives. Haha, maybe I did understand them a little? Perhaps it’s the fact that everyone’s background stories were revealed except theirs that left me feeling in the rain.

› Writing Style [ 12/20 ]

Okay, I’m going to be honest here, I was extremely lost at the beginning and it took me all the way til Namjoon when I realised what the question actually was! o_o;; I would have emphasised the question a little more. As for the writing in general, it came off as a little choppy. There’s nothing wrong with short sentences but like everything else in the world, there’s a right and wrong place for them. I loved how you used it when introducing each character and when you simultaneously described what each of them were up to after the appointment but other than that, the sentence length just didn’t feel right. The latter half was really excellent though; it was so poetic! >3<

› Spelling, Grammar and Diction [ 22/25 ]

There were a few mistakes I spotted (some grammatical and some in spelling) but they were very minor and I’m sure you’ll easily find them with spell-check. Unfortunately, I can’t correct them here for you since you’ve disallowed text selection >//<

› Personal Enjoyment [ 8/10 ]

Thank you for sharing this story with me. It got me thinking pretty deep and I think I may just stay tuned to see where this plot goes. ouo

› Final Score [ 85/100 ]