a/n: Myungsoo's part will be divided in three part hehe i am sorry for random update, hope you like it!

Myungsoo's POV

Lee Sungyeol. What was good about him? I couldn’t understand what Jungyeop hyung saw in him. Okay, he has advantage, like height. But that was all. He even had such a weak will, I knew he try to dismiss practice again and again on our trainee period. But he still stay, I guess he was just stubborn. Okay, he was bubbly and loud and carefree and sunshine. But we had Dongwoo hyung for that roles, I really didn’t understand why we need him. But after we had a trainee period together, I decided he was fun to hang out with, so I guess it was easier for me to treat him as a band mates. It was easier to have your friend as your band mates. It didn’t particularly easy in this industry. But I guess we were lucky, because Infinite treat each other (even managers, staffs, and CEO) as friends. And this Lee Sungyeol is really really good being a friend, and he was entertaining too, like really really much.

And then we were debut. Woollim made my image as a cool, mysterious, reserved person. I didn’t know at first that it would be so difficult. I like being silent, but when I opened my mouth I found it hard to stop. I found a lot of thing cute and funny, but I had to restrain myself for squealing or laughing. And my body was just that uncoordinated, so I had scolded time to time for being clumsy. It was hard being an L. But then there were Lee Sungyeol. He was just so honest, it naturally being his image. So when I felt that tensing moment when I tried to maintain my image, I would look at him and let myself loose a little bit. I would laugh at his joke, because it was okay right? He was just that entertaining.  I would smile when I looked at him because seeing his face made me that relax, because I felt like looking at something not fake when I looked at him and it made me relieved. I didn’t even realize that I had sniffing him around. I just realized it when our fans point it out and made this Myungyeol couple they are shipping about.

But Woollim never scold us about that, they even encourage us, because fans loved this shipping thing. I loved it, because I could be Myungsoo with Sungyeol. Sometimes fans will ask how did I differentiate being L and Myungsoo, but how could I say that I became Myungsoo around Sungyeol? I just couldn’t answer that question. Somehow I felt embarrassed thinking about it because I didn’t think Sungyeol knew about it, this L became Myungsoo thingy happened because of him. But he treated me like a pro idols, he was the only one who never slipped out my name in front of camera. He always called me L, I knew sometimes he did it just to annoy me, but I couldn’t help but to feel special. What a silly thing to feel special about. But I dared to say that we were a best of friend even in Infinite, where we are close with each other. I took a pride being Sungyeol’s best friend, and I knew he did too. We were treasure our friendship like that. We being a best friend came so naturally I never ask myself why.

I have to admit that I could be a little protective about my possession. And I have this little habit to obsess about something. And I realize that I being protective and obsessive over Lee Sungyeol. Why couldn’t I? He is my best friend! There was a reason why best friend called best friend. You see, the best was something in the top, and something in the top could only occupied single thing at times. So I could say that Sungyeol’s best friend already occupied by me, and I didn’t plan to change it any other way, maybe until I died. That explained why I felt this unsettling feeling every time Sungyeol laughing or touching someone other than me. But I understand that he has this insecure habit in front of camera.  That was why he always felt a need to grab someone to feel safe. You couldn’t find him not touching someone even when he didn’t fond of skinship, not like me. He just needed to touch someone, so I forgive him for touching any other member that was not his best friend.

Being the best of friend that we are, he decided to tell me about his crush. It was Dongwoo hyung. He told me that one time Dongwoo hyung scold him for not maintaining his manner to someone older, and it actually charm him like a spell because Dongwoo hyung never ever get angry, I almost didn’t believe him before I remember that Lee Sungyeol couldn’t lie for life. And he actually continued by babbling about how kind and care and kind and amazing Dongwoo was. He even blushed a bit! I couldn’t contain myself from teasing him like crazy for like a month (or two). I felt this nagging feeling that just made me even more. It didn’t help that I actually agreed with him about how amazing Dongwoo was, because Dongwoo was an epitome of kindness and politeness and every other thing positive.

It bothered me, but Sungyeol didn’t do anything other than giving a very subtle signal to Dongwoo hyung. So I thought Dongwoo hyung wouldn’t get it at least until five years or something. But I guess he noticed by the way he told me that he liked Sungyeol. I am truly surprised that they had a mutual feeling from the start.  I felt this panicked feeling raised in my chest for no reason. I kept staring at him questioning myself what this feeling I felt at that moment. So I told him to told Sungyeol about his feeling. Because I knew that Sungyeol had the same feeling, so it would only worked if Dongwoo told him his feeling right? Because I knew Sungyeol wouldn’t take an action anytime soon (he kept bugging me about how he felt so helpless around Dongwoo but then babbling about how wonderful it would be if only Dongwoo hyung like him too, it kind of annoying). But then I asked that question:

“Why did you tell me about your feeling hyung?”

“Oh I just kind of think that maybe you liked Sungyeol too, so I guess it was better to discuss my feeling with you before I did anything to confess to Sungyeol. You know, if you like him too maybe we would compete fair and share or something” and then he laugh that contagious laugh of him.

And then it struck me like a thunder. What was this feeling I had felt all the time, that was the answer.  I loved Lee Sungyeol. I loved my best friend all this time. And I just understood thank to Dongwoo hyung. The hyung to who Sungyeol had a crush on all along. And I realize even if I had understood my feeling by myself there would be no a fair and share competition, because I had lost from the start. And I felt even more helpless, because I knew, I understood, that they were deserved each other.

It broke me, it confused me, but I couldn’t not being Lee Sungyeol best friend, because as broken and as hurt as I am, Sungyeol didn’t know a thing. I couldn’t take his best friend away because it will hurt him, and he didn’t deserve that. It was not even his fault. So I stay to be his best friend. It made me better because being by his side made everything better. But it broken me further, because being by his side remind me how I loved him and how I couldn’t have him. It felt like he mended my broken heart, then shattered it, then mended it again, then shattered it again, on and on.