To the man I still like...

In silence. 

I don't know how to say these words in person,

but I want you to know that,

I still think of you every single day.

- misslulufats

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What was it like to love him?

"It felt extraordinary. Like an electric shock struck in my heart whenever he smiled at me and my heart drumming against my chest every time we touched. At first, it hurt. It was painful. But as I got used to it, I came to realize that it actually felt good. Since then, I always watched the red-haired boy. Every little thing he did. The way he combed his bright red hair with his small pale hands. The way he laughed and played with the children in front of the castle. The way his eyes sparked when he caught me standing by the castle gate, watching him in awe. The way he smiled the sweetest smile which reminded me of how my mother still managed to smile before her last breath...

It felt wonderful. I felt so alive again. All I wanted to do right at that very moment was fall in love with the red-haired boy over and over again... And I did. I really did. I didn't care about anything else but the man who stole my unguarded heart. The Kingdom's rules did not matter as long as I was happy with the red-haired boy. Xiao Lu was his name. Xiao Lu, the beautiful young boy and one of the exchange students from the northeast," says the prince.

What was it like to be loved in return? 

"It was perfect. I couldn't be more grateful.

For the first time I fell in love.

For the first time I was loved.

Love? I used to think love is just children's play. 

That love was just something you can throw away anytime.

I've always thought it was just all about ;

About wanting someone's body so badly.

I never wanted to try love.

I never wanted to have a lover.

But in the end, my heart gave in.

I gave in, for the red-haired boy who changed my perspective of love.

And he gave all of him to me. 

All of him.

He wanted to show how much he loved me,

And how many rules he could break for me.

He was selfless.

And I...

I was just selfish."

The prince realizes with a hint of sadness written all over his face. He recalls the last time he met the red-haired boy which was three years ago and his heart breaks nastily more than it did before. 

"Well, that was expected from you, your highness." His friend laughs softly, earning a light slap on his head from the prince. He stops laughing immediately.

"Laugh again, and I'll kill you with your bow and arrow, Kai." Sehun threatens as he grabs his friend's bow and arrow from the sofa. 

"As if you know how to use that," Kai says with a soft chuckle. 

What was it like to lose him?

"It was for the better. 

Maybe I was glad that was the end of us.

The moment his voice changed,

The moment the color of his eyes turned into an all pitch-black,

The moment he was possessed and lost himself, 

I ran away from him.

I left him behind and as I watched the guards take him farther away from me,

Somehow I felt so relieved.

I was glad to stay in my kingdom.

Because I wasn't supposed to run away with an ordinary student.

We weren't supposed to be together.

We just aren't meant for each other.

Then I finally let him go.

I let him go because I realized I never really wanted to be with him.

I finally stopped thinking about the incident;

About Xiao Lu.

It was as if there was never an us."

Or so he thought.

Part of him wanted to say more.

Apparently, it hurt before.

But it was his choice. 

So no one had to know that it actually hurt. 

He wanted to appear strong. 

He wanted to be a good example to his villagers.

They didn't have to know that he, the only son of the king, had broken the Kingdom's rule by loving a student from the northeast. Moreover, a male just like him. Even if it was just children's play for him. It was still a rule he was supposed to follow. And he failed that.

He is a failure, and only himself knows that.

Did you really love him?

"Love? It doesn't exist.

It's just children's play, and I just played along because I felt alone. 

How could someone fall in love in just one month?

A love that short isn't real love.

I only thought I was in love because I wanted to live a fairytale,

But it ended up in a nightmare."

"Aren't you curious what happened to him after you abandoned him?"

Sehun hisses at the question. "He's probably dead," he states. "When the evil spirit possessed him, he tried to kill anyone around him. Since my guards came back, they probably killed him."

"Your highness, are you sure about that? Did you not ask them what happened to him?"

There is a long pause before the prince shakes his head. "No. I didn't need an explanation. I wasn't interested."

It must have hurt a lot, my prince. 

You must have been hurt, but you're trying not to show that.

But the people who know the real yo