Author's note: Hi beauties. So yeah, I'm back. With a heavy heart, but we'll get back to that. For this chapter I really wanted to be better for you and since I just couldn't handle giving you guys this chapter broken and make you wait for the next half I decided to do a double update, so yeah... stay tuned! I'm really sorry for the gigantic proportion chapters but when I write I tend to write as the things come to me and not plan too much ahead. If the chapters come out very long well... they just have to come out like that. When I'm the one reading I do love very long chapters so at least I'm going to hope you do to.

The double update is a leap of faith in you guys, I’ll do it if you guys appreciate this one, which can only be demonstrated by at least reviews, so pretty please, give some strength to keep writing after college classes begin!

About my heavy heart... yeah about Taeyeon and Baek... as far as I know SM hasn't confirmed anything and it’s suspicious that they haven't. It smells like media play to draw attention to Taeyeon solo album, but one never knows. I have doubted before if their relationship was real, now I don't know if the break up is real, and it’s really confusing, and in any way if it is true it’s sad because I really liked them as a couple... if it isn't ...then it’s even sadder. It’s just not fair for SM to play with their names like that... but well that’s what management companies are for, right? :( Anyway, since I try to write as close to reality as possible, it'll be hard to adapt these past week events to the story, but I’ll see what i can do.

P.S. Here's the Roy Kim song that Ji Woo and Chanyeol were listening to (I'm crushing so hard on RK) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czdxV99r89Y  (AWESOME MV!!)

P.S.II About Kai's skin color. I feel like this is a subject that has been discussed times and times again, too much already, to be honest. People who bash Chanyeol about his little jokes about Kai should watch more Korean TV. Its a very common and very NON OFENSIVE joke between koreans and even asians in general (I've lived with three different asian girls and all told me so). Being darker colored in asia is seen as grown up, more manly, even ier for guys. For girls, for instance, like SNSD's Yuri (who is P.E.R.F.E.C.T) a bronze skin color will make them stand out as more exotic looking and overall ier girl. Talking about skin color in Korea has NOTHING to do with racism or anything of the like it is, instead, a very common subject and as opposed to the western side of the world (i live in Europe) koreans really appreciate skin tones in very different beauty standards. Some prefer whiter, some prefer darker, and its not taboo to talk about it. Get over it and please don't make any nasty comments about my cute ChanKai moment! Besides, Kai loves his skin color and Chanyeol knows that, they have even very casually, talked how Kai felt closer to Chanyeol's older sister since their skin tones were alike, Chanyeol (who call himself a "noona baboo") said very relaxedly that his sister is quite "dark". We just have to understand that the beauty standards change drastically.

Really sorry about the gigantic AN! here's one gigantic chapter with more soon to come :D

(Do read the afterthoughts!)

0051

Chapter 4

The car had almost lulled him to sleep when Chanyeol found himself parked in the dorm’s building parking lot.

Hyunkyun hyung bid him goodbye with a sleepy face when he got out and informed him briskly that he owed him because this whole romantic thing with dropping her off and ordering food and whatnot was just too damn dangerous.

Giving up on snuggling on the warm seat, the taller male knew he couldn’t complain and so, instead, he thanked his manager and got out of the car towards the entrance to the building with Hyunkyun hyung behind him until the elevator.

It wasn’t until he got to the hallway between the elevator and their dorm door that Chanyeol fell in himself. Had he just, seriously risked the possibility of being caught, not to mention the inquiries that would come from him being in that place even if they had gone to represent the endorsing brand? What the hell had he been thinking? What was she to him, too, to ask her so comfortably to call him oppa and use banmal? They had met twice and he had lowered his social inhibitions completely.

When he punched the code to open the dorms door, the tall idol reckoned he had finally gone crazy. This was it. He had never put something before his career and the security of it, but those rash actions he had taken the night before and now, tonight… of course they made the manager hyungs uncomfortable. This really was nothing if not expectable.

According to sunbaes here and there, Chanyeol had realized that everyone dated. It didn’t matter if one was an idol; one was still most and foremost a person and, as so, needed human interactions and affection. He too, understood, to this extent. However, what Chanyeol didn’t get, was how some of them didn’t worry about it enough. Like Heechul hyung, for instance, that person had probably been born dating because as far as he knew he always remembered him having girlfriend stories to relate.

And it wasn’t that he expected to be dramatically different from them or anything of the like. He knew himself, he knew that there would be some people in his life, like there had been until now because to be honest, again, he hadn’t been celibate for as long as he had been an idol. But exactly why all of these thoughts were invading him after meeting that girl twice, why he was frustrated or why he had risked a little too much were all questions left unanswered in his head. He didn’t even know where he had thought all of this internal struggle would lead to. A way to solve the mess my head has been lately? Tch… not likely.

“Hyung”

“Aish!” jumping a little in his soles, facing Kai’s questioning gaze was when he realized he had been staring into nothing, in his socks, in the entryway, heavy leather oxford shoes lying carelessly on the floor and everything. Jongin’s face was his usual half-smile and cute crinkly eyes. It was late and the rest must’ve been asleep already because there was not much light besides the yellowish tones coming from Jongin’s slightly ajar bedroom door and from the large windows of the living room at the end of the large, sinuous hallway.

“I wasn’t even going to ask, because you’ve been really out of it lately and don’t seem to want to talk about it hyung… but… are you alright?”

He felt a switch of affection in his chest, warming him up. This was the kid he had met beyond all the dance prowess and iness this was the same side of Jongin who worked himself until falling on the floor, this was kind and considerate guy that always remembered he was in the maknae line and listened well to all the hyungs. The kid who always laughed and played along but who was, also, always concerned and observant enough to know when the balance in the group was somewhat off.

So Chanyeol couldn’t help but to half smile, even if he really didn’t feel like it.

“Hey… You should turn on the lights. Almost didn’t see you there dark kid.”

Kai scoffed and crossed his arms showing how blatantly he just didn’t give him credit for the awkward attempt to lamely joke around.

“Yeah, I was hiding around in the shadows trying to fathom the dark recesses of your mind”

Chanyeol did laugh this time with the almost audible roll of Kai’s eyes. He ended up passing by, without addressing the questions the younger had posed just now. Kai was, apparently, unbothered with his hyung’s attitude, instead he moved towards the kitchen with a soft shrug of his statue-like shoulder and a tense smile. He had clearly not been expecting any other response from the oldest.

“Good night, Jongin-ah.”

It was dark in his room and Baekhyun wasn’t in there yet, perhaps he wouldn’t even come. Behind the shuffle of Jongin’s light steps, outside, he thought he heard their dance prodigy mumbling about how serious and gloomy Yeol hyung was lately.

Being like this next to s and, overall, being awkward with himself was exerting its toll on him too. After all, he didn’t feel like his usual self and since each had their own role to play in their group dynamic, seeing him so odd and glum, lately, must also affect s to some extent. For now, Chanyeol reasoned, for now it would be best if he just went along with it. Because as far as he could remember, this night was the first in five weeks that he had been his happy-go-lucky person.

When he finally got into his pajamas apparel and gave his pillow a faithful snuggle, happy to not have to endure waiting for Baekhyun’s puppy yelps to fade in his slumber before falling, himself, asleep, his iphone vibrated, lighting the deep darkness of the room.

Chanyeol-ah, lets meet next week in Hongdae again, understood~~? No idol excuses!

Min Jung

A shiver racked his body. Chanyeol swallowed thickly and clicked to answer but not before hesitating…

Aish.

Understood, sunbae!! >.<

Just let me know.

In all fairness, his thoughts, this time, weren’t as innocent as the first time he received the text. Now he knew that since it was Ji Woo’s friend bar, she would probably be present and he really couldn’t pass the opportunity to see her, right?

Anyways, life was passing by and the matters of the heart were not meant to over think.

Sooner than the both of them knew, life had begin to fall in place again. He didn’t have many exo schedules but somehow kept occupied.

Lay hyung was back for a while and they had spent a lot of time lately in the composing room… And even though trying to match that weird hyung’s mood wasn’t easy he had lots of fun, because however absentminded he might be, he always gave him snacks and soft pads in the head telling him he did good. He was grounded and patient and even though they didn’t match they found a way to harmonize and make music and it made him hype all week long. D.O. and Baekhyun had movie schedules, shooting somewhere in the country not even near Seoul. Sehun and Kai were most of times having fun with their friends and Suho hyung had variety shooting and soon they were all dispersing finding each other late at night at home, sometimes grabbing a hearty big meal together, sometimes just heading straight to bed.

Lately he had been hanging around at his family home a lot too, or sometimes grabbing late chicken and bear with noona when she got off from work, by the Han river in secluded corners where Chanyeol could appreciate what life and effort had brought him. Noona was getting ready to move out and Chanyeol would do his part as a dutiful dongsaeng and not only would he help the moving company employees but he would be also taking his maknae line with him (since his noona loved them both) to help around and throw a welcoming event late at evening.

To make it easier, ever since that night everything had returned to how it should be. The awful weight that he had carried for a lost five full weeks had lifted a little by now and he had stopped thinking about Ji Woo.

Well, that was a blatant lie.

Chanyeol had, indeed, stopped blaming himself for the incident ever since he had apologized and bought her a meal. But as for not thinking about her, it wasn’t true. They had exchanged numbers and kept in touch ever since. She would tell him when she was going to university and they talked about how they would meet by the end of the week at 259. She would always ask him if he had eaten already and in return, he would ask her if she had gotten home safe.

One or two times he called to let her hear his newest track and by the end of the call, Chanyeol shyly requested for her to play a little, something of her choice, before he fell asleep.

 And the safeness and comfort of a relationship like this, where there was no danger, often kept him willingly oblivious to the risky step he was taking.

Chanyeol hadn’t forgotten how she had thrown the white flowers viciously on the trash or how she had twisted the fabric of his blazer’s sleeve desperately when they were in the parking lot, but still not confident enough to ask about it, instead he heard her speak earnestly enthusiastic about the phone call her parents had given her. She had been so genuinely happy one would think she hadn’t spoken to them in months.

For the record, s had all acknowledged his return to his enthusiastic, loud self. Even D.O. had, begrudgingly, admitted he had missed his excited tall friend, over the mellow jokester he had been lately.

Along with the maknae line, he was sure today would be a blast too, hiding things from noona, pestering that hyung she had been dating (which he hadn’t quiet yet accepted) and eating jjajangmyeon as the rite set by tradition on a moving day. Their parents would be visiting noona’s new house the next day since both Yoora and Chanyeol had decided to spare them from the most tiring day and instead they would be bringing noona home cooked food which he unfortunately couldn’t eat because he had a schedule early in the morning which would last till, at least, middle of the afternoon.

Sighing dejectedly Chanyeol left his room and propped his black leather backpack and aimed for the living room where a D.O.less morning meant breakfastless people. Sure enough he found the maknae moping around and Kai frantically searching the pantry and cupboard for just something to eat. Except neither of them knew how to cook and he really didn’t feel like it. When Sehun saw him, he almost cried.

“Hyung! Make us breakfast~~”

The whine in his voice made it evident how much he was craving food right now. Sehun was a cute kid but he did it without purpose to his actions, in fact the members just found him cute regardless. Kai, on the other hand, seemed about to have a panic attack without food and was about to reach for unhealthy ramyun that in Chanyeol’s wise opinion should only be eaten when, either there was no time or at night when the hunger crawled all over their stomachs… or after an hefty schedule that had left them exhausted and had made it impossible to eat in the meantime.

“Yah! Don’t touch that! Let’s just eat out, anyway noona is probably still packing the last things and making her last rounds around the house making sure she didn’t forget anything… hyung will buy, since you cute dongsaengs decided to come with me. What do you want to eat?”

“Tonkatsu !!”

“Chicken!”

Those kids surely knew how to get advantage of an open wallet… Silently laughing, Chanyeol faked a distressed sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose,

“For breakfast? You little bastards…”

Then in a signature overly enthusiastic move he threw one arm in the air while pumping the other fist in the air and for a millisecond thought about denying them the little luxury. But it was still so early and they probably could enjoy going to a smaller establishment and eat to their heart’s content, besides manager hyungs would be with them. It was rare to get a chance like this so he just shrugged and went with it, running along with them to their big dark van.

….

After that, when they moving guys were mid-way through with furniture, his ears were still burning from when noona pulled them almost to the ceiling, because he hadn’t offered a decent breakfast to his friends at his family home instead of eating Tonkatsu and chicken, almost as soon as he entered the house. Kai had laughed loudly and clapped, clamoring his sister’s name and Sehun, well the little punk was just laughing his head out and announcing that he thought he was going to throw up, but resuming to drink his favorite chocolate bobba tea shortly after.

Moving wasn’t much work. They only had to ensure that delicate stuff would be moved by them and not by the moving company and indicate where the stuff should be put and the company would do everything.

Noona had finally seen the profits of her hardwork by renting the not so small but still not large apartment in a condo in Apgujeong-dong. Chanyeol was particularly happy because it was close to the SM building in Cheongdam-dong and he could visit whenever he wanted.

Manager hyung had parked the large van on the outside the autumn sun shone brightly in his eyes and, looking up at the very tall building, Chanyeol wondered why he had the feeling that the area was pretty familiar but then again, Apgujeong, nowadays seemed all alike.

It was lunch time when noona had dispersed the workers by giving them lunch money and they were waiting for their jjajangmyeon order to arrive. Meanwhile the hyung that noona had decided to date (he absolutely refused to acknowledge him any other way, that noona stealer!) had arrived and his maknae line was making fun of him by acting cute and flirty at noona saying how pretty she was and how, if it were them, they would have already proposed to her.

It was in the middle of a twitch from that noona-dating hyung’s eyebrow and Noona’s shrill laugh that came.

She had a funny way of texting that really illustrated her way of speaking out loud.

From: Ji Woo

Mwo~~

Hae?  >ㅁ< 

He thought it was cute. For her to ask so comfortably what he was doing. Intimate, almost.

Immediately answering that he was with his noona, and asking about her day, an answer came almost immediately.

From: Ji Woo

Someone’s moving into the building and rented the elevator. I didn’t even know that was possible. The other elevator is taking ages!! -_-‘ 

He gave a restrained laugh, trying to not alert the other of his activities when the door bell rang and that hyung that was dating noona got up to open the door while everyone stopped what they were doing anticipating the delivery. Turned out to be noona’s best friend Ga Eun noona who had also came to help and offer welcome-home gifts. Pretty much, a load of toilet paper and instant ramyun. After greeting the older woman and introducing his group mates (which apparently had been absolutely unnecessary, because as soon as she had seen the maknae line she couldn’t contain the very small squeal that left her. He would admit that part of the reason he had asked these particular friends to come, had been because Ga-Eun noona had been bullying him lately, whenever she caught him spending time with his Yoora noona, to bring them over because they were her absolute favorite, y maknae line and all.

Besides, Chanyeol wasn’t feeling apologetic to the both of them anymore, ever since they had stolen pieces of his tonkatsu in the morning, they should be able to just put up with the chirpy and over affectionate noona… Chanyeol had for years and he hadn’t died yet.

Anyways, the new arrival saw his team mates she had beamed like the sun and ran over to their side with a quick greeting, practically spewing how much she was in love with them. Not even taking in account the age difference of five years that should have put her in a respectable position (and not his teammates uncomfortable). He was pretty sure Kai and especially Sehun were feeling the awkwardness but even if he should have taken pity on them since they were his dongsaeng and he was familiar with that noona Chanyeol shrugged it off and focused once more in the text conversation he was having before, with Ji Woo.

To: Ji Woo

How can you not know that was possible? kekeke Isn’t it like that in Austria? Are you going to college~?

“Chanyeol-ah!!”

Ga Eun noona shrill tone woke him up immediately, thankfully, after pressing send. Raising his eyes up to the other side of the table he found her big round eyes inquisitive eyes fixed on his.

“Are you talking to your girlfriend?”

“W-What?! Noona!”

“Aigo… our baby has grown, Yoora-yah.”

Unfortunately, (Chanyeol had always thought her presence was unfortunate, ever since she would come in his family restaurant asking his mom to be fed, while she waited for Yoora noona ballet class to be over, while they were in middle School). Yoora Noona happened to enjoy her best friend personality very much and always laughed along. She was a very playful person herself, but also very caring and soft on the inside. Ga Eun noona was all sarcastic flare and snide giggles but somehow they matched well.

Turning suddenly to his sister, sitting with that pesky hyung on the couch by the floor table, Chanyeol interjected immediately, his cheeks suddenly burning bright.

“Hyung… are you blushing?”

“Haven’t you seen Chanyeol blushing before? Our baby always does that when we a little”

Before another outrageous “Noona!” escaped his mouth, Chanyeol’s phone buzzed. Kai swiftly rose a questioning eyebro