Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

Onto the Moonlit Floor

At first, Jongdae hadn't understood what Chanyeol was so mad about. The freshman had known Jongdae was a troll since the beginning, so why was he upset about it now, all of a sudden and out of the blue?

"I don't think you understand how much Yeol likes you," Kyungsoo pointed out intelligently when Jongdae asked him why Chanyeol had gotten so angry.

"Soo's right," Junmyeon contributed succinctly, kissing his boyfriend cutely on the hair as he reached his arms around Kyungsoo's body to steal a fry off Jongdae's plate. "Chanyeol might seem very happy-go-lucky and easy going all the time, and I haven't known him long enough to say anything definitively, but it seems like he has serious and genuine feelings for you."

"Basically," Kyungsoo finished Junmyeon's thought as the latter chewed diligently on another of Jongdae's fries, "he likes you so much that he did something completely out of character for your benefit, and you essentially laughed in his face."

"Stepped on his roses," Junmyeon added unhelpfully.

Kyungsoo nodded, "Crushed his dreams; kidnapped his first child; took the last slice of his birthday cake."

"You name it," Junmyeon spoke again through a mouthful of fries, "you did it."

Jongdae pulled his best friend into a headlock and knuckled the top of his head until Junmyeon apologized for his part in the whole situation, even though he kept insisting that his and Kyungsoo's advice wasn't wrong. Something about that in particular struck a chord with Jongdae because he realized that Kyungsoo and Junmyeon might not be wrong, but he was.

He had been all semester, in fact. With a sudden flourish of movement, Jongdae swept to his feet, grabbing his student safety vest and pushing his unfinished plate toward Junmyeon since he'd been consistently sneaking food off it anyway. As he walked away from the cafeteria table and got ready to leave for work, Jongdae waved cordially and mock bowed at Kyungsoo before reaching out a hand to pat Junmyeon on the back of his head.

Jongdae's best friend flinched at the contact—likely worried about being a repeat victim of the headlock—and the annoyance on his face was enough to make Jongdae chuckle, even though his mood since had turned quite dark.

It's no wonder Chanyeol was angry with him. From the very beginning, he'd wanted something more with Jongdae, and then when Jongdae had finally given that to him, he'd taken it away almost instantly.

Actually, Jongdae thought to himself as he reached their basement office and let himself into the room, it's a wonder Chanyeol doesn't absolutely hate me.

"I'd hate me," he muttered forlornly under his breath, glancing around the room to notice an annoyed Luhan and a conspicuously absent Chanyeol.

"Right now," Luhan interjected, "I hate you! It's past midnight, I have a paper due in the morning, but I can't send out an officer alone, and Chanyeol's not freaking here because you freaking broke him!"

Jongdae had never seen his mild mannered supervisor get angry, and could only emit a startled "Woah" of fear and awe. Luhan, though, was unimpressed with that response and growled out, "Get him back here, or so help me, I will end you."

Which is how a sheepish Jongdae ended up in front of Kyungsoo and Chanyeol's door around 12:15 in the morning. He knocked, lightly at first because he was embarrassed and also because half the hall was probably already asleep. When he didn't get an answer, though, he knocked louder and longer, shifting from foot to foot so that he nearly toppled into the person in front of him as they opened the door.

"Chanyeol?" Jongdae asked hopefully as he peered into the darkness of the dorm room and tried to make out any unordinary body shapes—just in case Junmyeon had decided to stay over, Jongdae didn't want to have to burn his eyes out. Luckily for him, Chanyeol was the only one home.

"Huh?" The happy virus mumbled sleepily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and staring down at Jongdae in muddled confusion. "Dae? What are you doing here?"

Since Chanyeol wasn't yelling or glaring or acting anything like he had the last time Jongdae had seen him, the senior figured the freshman was probably still too unconscious to be angry just yet, so he took his chances.

"Yeol," he began, trying to sound firm, but also apologetic, "I get that you're mad at me, and I'm sorry for my joke, truly. It was wrong of me to play with your feelings like that. But Luhan supervisor-nim is having a mental breakdown since you didn't show up for your shift, so can you just, like, press pause on being mad until after 5?" Jongdae stopped briefly to breathe but they'd just ended up closing his mouth again when he realized he had nothing more to say except for a heartfelt "Sorry" over and over again.

"Ugh," Chanyeol groaned loudly. He didn't sound mad, but Jongdae couldn't really tell. "Dae," the freshman said slowly as if he were speaking with a child, "it's Thursday and I work Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, okay?" Chanyeol wrapped long arms around a bewildered Jongdae's shoulders and patted the shorter man on the head soothingly. "Stop freaking out, alright?"

"Yah, Park Chanyeol!" Jongdae glowered up at the freshman who still held him captive in his embrace, glad they're fight wasn't the reason for Chanyeol's absence but still annoyed that the freshman was that forgetful. "It's Thursday now, but only because Wednesday ended 20 minutes ago when you were supposed to be at work!"

"Oh," was all Chanyeol could say.

"Yeah, oh." Jongdae muttered, growing too impatient to worry about being on eggshells and pushing past Chanyeol into the room. "Now get dressed," he commanded, throwing a still-sluggish Chanyeol a pair of pants and a shirt along with their uniformed vest, "and I'll be waiting outside, okay?"

"And hurry," he called over his shoulder as he exited the room, "cause I'm worried Luhan is going to combust if we a call comes in and we aren't there to take it."

"Alright, alright," Chanyeol waved off Jongdae's concern light-heartedly and turned to slip off his pajama shirt and into his new one. "Keep your pants on."

"You try keeping your pants on with you around," Jongdae spoke to himself as he waited outside the dorm room door. "Stupid, serious, y Park Chanyeol. Wanting a stupid, serious relationship. And stupid me," he added himself as a target of his diatribe, "for having someone great like that an not wanting to be as serious as possible. Stupid, stupid, stupid."

"Well, now, I don't know," Chanyeol drawled teasingly, stepping out of his room and grinning widely like he'd just overheard Jongdae's entire monologue—which he had. "Your joke was stupid, sure. And the fact that you could have had all this," again a generous gesture at his own body's awesomeness, "since September but chose otherwise? Yeah, pretty stupid; I'd agree. But you thinking I'm y and great and then reevaluating your feelings about a relationship? That sounds pretty smart to me."

Jongdae wanted to pout or to groan or to face palm or something, but he merely gritted his teeth and had the decency to look embarrassed. "I really am sorry," he told Chanyeol sincerely as the two students walked side-by-side out of the residence hall and across the Quad to their dinky office basement.

"I'm not saying it's alright," Chanyeol established softly, "but I'm willing to forgive you for it because I know you're apology is sincere. And because that's what you do in healthy relationships: you give each other second chances." His fingers brushed against Jongdae's as they walked and Chanyeol took the opportunity to grab the elder's hand tightly. "So this is me giving you another chance to be the person who kissed me on that first night we met. And I hope you'll give me the same when I ask you this one more time: Do you want to date?"

Jongdae could tell that Chanyeol's words were a verbal olive branch, and he knew that if he said "No," then the freshman would never extend such an offer again. At that point, though, Jongdae was pretty sure he would have agreed to anything if it meant he got Chanyeol back, so there was no chance in the world he would have rejected that offer.

"But you do mean date seriously though, right?" Jongdae clarified. He looked down at their entwined fingers highlighted by the moonlight before smiling up at Chanyeol happily. "Because I've got some experience with that whole casual thing, and I'm not about that life." He kissed Chanyeol briefly as they paused momentarily outside the door's of their office, relishing the calm before the storm of a panicked Luhan. "Not with you,"Jongdae added, pecking Chanyeol again for good measure. "Not anymore."

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raerimmie #1
Hey!I just love your story and i want to translate it into Turkish with full credicts of course.Would you mind if i do? Please give me an answer when you see this message ^.^
PalmerPie
#2
//scREAMS AND HUGS PILLOW CLOSE BECAUSE YES
PalmerPie
#3
Chanyeol desperately trying to find a useless loophole only for Jongdae to be like I still like you you egg XD
Cute~~~
aaliyahdude5663
#4
Bookmarking this ♡
PalmerPie
#5
YESSSS PLEASEEEEEE
under the milky twilight was adorable OuO
excited to see more!
Kaynne #6
Estou ficando curiosa demais já.