Chasing You

Chapter Twenty One

Away

Ah Reum sauntered down the hallways in search of a certain foul-mouthed best friend of hers who was also the main topic of all of her conversations. After the events of the night before, she could not help but giggle, causing her to draw unwanted attention to herself. Even though she was aware that Sehun wouldn’t choose her, she wanted to believe that such a thing was possible. If it were likely for her dad to come back after so many years, then there would be a chance that even she would be able to melt the frigid wall that he built around himself.

She knew that her friends pitied her, and she knew that very well. In fact, she even knew that she was just building sand castles in the ocean, but still, she tried. Why? She didn’t know, and she didn’t know when it was that she started to become unsure of everything. Was she finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, or was she finally starting to realize that what she feels for him doesn’t even come close to love?

She shook her head oh-so-painfully to the point that each hurtful word he told her had begun to form a scar in her mind. The pain she felt was unlike those times when he shrugged her off or when her mother told the five-year-old her that her father went away on a business trip, and she wasn’t sure when he would be coming back. Back then, she believed her because who else could she rely on?

Never had she thought that he wouldn’t come back until the kids in her class slapped the truth in her face. That’s when she realized that every single thing would be kept as a secret from her. Why– because she’s a kid. Jiyoung continued to keep secrets from her, but Ah Reum knew right away, for she wore the same expression as she did the first time she told a lie. She didn’t blame her mother; she never could. As she grew up, she grasped the necessity of telling a fib or two because everyone lies.

As a matter of fact, she was a master at pretending that she’s fine, but Sehun could easily figure her out as if she were just a mere word search. He knew so well that whenever she was speechless, the words she wanted to say but couldn’t, would be written on her face.

That’s what she loved about him. He was her daily cup of truth in a world filled with lies. Sehun could be irrational at times, but he was the one person who decided that it was better to smack her with reality than ease her with a lie. Indeed, she hated the fact that she wasn’t the apple of his eyes, but she was happy nonetheless because he was able to share his feelings for Da Eun with her. She would forever be thankful to him for trusting her even though she wasn’t always truthful to him.

Ah Reum slowly brought her head up as her eyes came into contact with his. For a second, she wondered why the words she wanted to say wouldn’t come out of . Upon realizing the reason, she smiled and shook her head as she put those words into a drawer that already held thousands of things she wanted to utter but couldn’t. She decided to hold it in for a bit longer, for there was no rush. Secretly, she just didn’t want him to start to detest her.

“Jeez, Sehun. I was looking all over for you!” she exclaimed, faking her anger. Sehun chuckled lightly, something he wouldn’t usually do as he patted her head. “Sehun? Did something happen?”

“Nothing, you idiot.” Ah Reum couldn’t help but smile because he was back to his usual self. Though he shrugged her question off, she was relieved that he wasn’t changing. “Why are you so close to me today? You reek of sweat.”

“Oh, so you smell me now, too?” she cooed, earning a glare from him. Sighing, she leaned against the wall as she stared outside, admiring the perseverance of the first years. “It’s because I ran from the gate to here. You didn’t show up, so I got worried,” Ah Reum shrugged.

Sehun followed her gaze as his eyes spotted someone familiar. He stared at him blankly, for he was unsure of the reason Ah Reum was looking at Yixing the way she looked at him. Ah, so it was him after all. He recalled being told that the P.E. teacher needed help because Luhan was absent with a cold, but he never thought that Yixing would volunteer in his stead. “Are you sure I’m the one you’re looking for?”

His sudden question shocked her. Had that been a hint of jealousy she heard? “What are you talking about? I came to ask you about how your dreamlike relationship is progressing,” she stated as a matter of factly. “After the ball, I’m pretty sure you two have gotten clo–”

“How about yours?” Sehun realized the severity of his words, but he couldn’t stop himself. Last time he checked, they already put out the fire that they caused, but here he was making another. It was as if he was intentionally trying to hurt her, but for what? Shouldn’t he be happy for her because she’s starting to move on from him? Why was he being such a kid just because she was looking Yixing’s way while she was with him?

“You know about that already, don’t you? It’s still the same,” she whispered. “Why are you asking me that anyway? You of all people should know about that very well.” Ah Reum wished to force a smile on her face, for she didn’t want to cry in front of him because of a small matter. “Well, I have to go. I have an appointment that I need to get to.” Slowly, she turned around and willed herself not to look his way; it would be too painful for her vulnerable heart.

…

Yixing plopped down on the bench as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. Man. If I knew beforehand that Luhan’s job was strenuous, then I wouldn’t have volunteered for this. Even though he was older than them, they mocked him. He didn’t know why at first, but he overheard a group of girls squealing about it behind the bleachers when they were supposed to be running around the track. As a responsible person, he went there to scold him, but because he liked what they said, he didn’t inform the teacher about their negligence to participate.

The thought of Ah Reum made him smile; she wasn’t even standing in front of him, but she was able to crawl her way into his mind like the door only opened for her. She was becoming too important to him that he didn’t know what would happen if Sehun accepted her. Most importantly, he wasn’t sure if he could be happy for them, if he could give them his blessing, or if he could smile like he usually did.

She was infecting him that badly, and she was the only known cure. However, that remedy was available only for Sehun. Even if he weren't sick, Ah Reum would be there for him. She would never leave him; that was a fact.

If Sehun wanted to, then he could’ve just punched him in the face, but here he was leading poor Ah Reum on and showing him the painful truth. He couldn’t help but hate that prideful nature of his. He was convinced that Sehun loved Ah Reum, so he didn’t mind leaving her in Sehun’s care, but here he was, repenting for his mistakes. Not only did he hurt himself, but he also hurt the one who mattered most to him: Ah Reum.

“Yixing! I said you could take a 2-minute break. I don’t recall saying that you can leave as you please!” Yixing shrugged as he lifted himself off the bench. He walked slowly without a care in the world, but when he heard the coach once more, he ran for his life.

The second he arrived, the students were trampling and bombarding him with questions. “Mr. Zhang! What’s your relationship with that girl from yesterday?”

He raised his eyebrow in suspicion, for he couldn’t believe that a student just a few years younger than him made him sound so old. “I’m not as old as Minseok!”

That remark earned a glare from the so-called Minseok. “Just answer their questions, so they’d be interested in participating.”

“She’s my friend’s best friend,” he answered quite simply.

They groaned in response. “That’s it?” They started to whine, but Yixing could only chuckle in response. “Do you not have special feelings for her?”

Yixing nodded. He didn’t want this topic to escalate further, and neither did he want Ah Reum to hear about this because the rumors in their school traveled through the hallways like a waft of air. He also knew that two of Ah Reum’s friends were the start of most rumors. There was no need for anyone to know about his feelings until he’s able to tell Ah Reum himself.

“Now go run around the track. I’ll tell you guys everything if you accomplish ten laps in thirty minutes,” he lied. They didn’t seem to notice it, so they instantaneously did as they were told.

“Those kids only do what they’re told when they get something out of it,” Minseok commented bitterly. He was a man of few words, but the things he said were usually critical. He wasn’t a daunting teacher; he’s just painfully blunt. “You can leave it to me for today. By the looks of it, they’re dead serious about wanting to know about Ah Reum. If Luhan is doing better tomorrow, then you don’t have to worry about these kids giving you a headache. They’ll eventually forget about it.”

“And if they don’t?” Yixing dared to ask.

“That’s not my problem.”

…

Ah Reum banged her head on her locker for the umpteenth time. She usually made a joke out of the callous things that Sehun spat, so why did she run away? They were finally able to make up after their latest argument, but here she was making a new one.

She was practically pacing back and forth like a lunatic, but she didn’t care. In fact, no one seemed to notice her. At least, she wished no one did. Out of all the students in their school, it just had to be her sharp-tongued best friend who saw her.

“Idiot. You’re going to make your mom suffer having to pay the cost for those damages,” Seulgi commented. She was in no mood to hear Ah Reum’s whining today because she had to visit someone urgently.

“Great. Now I’m hallucinating,” she mumbled, not accepting the fact that Seulgi was indeed standing right in front of her.

Seulgi rolled her eyes in aggravation because Ah Reum was as annoying as usual. It relieved her slightly, but she couldn’t bear to stand beside Ah Reum for much longer or else she’d get a headache. “Be careful on your way home. Your aloof nature would most likely cause you to slip.”

Ah Reum pouted and was about to deny her accusations when Seulgi was already out of sight. She didn’t recall Seulgi being a fast walker. “What does she mean by slip? It’s not even rai– Oh.”

The rain was pouring down hard, and even though she had an umbrella, the wind would probably blow it away because that’s what usually happens when she gets into an argument with Sehun. The world would unusually be against her as if she’s the wrong one. It was as if everyone she knew got together the day before just to scold her about it the next day. She would be lying if she said that she had no faults. Even so, Ah Reum didn’t get why life chose to bite her again when the wounds of last time were close to healing.

“I could probably get home if I go now,” she mumbled, pondering about what to do. “Sehun would have an umbrella right? He usually comes to school prepared, so he can get home with ease. Yixing, on the other hand…” Ah Reum trailed off as Chanyeol stared at her worriedly.

President Chanyeol stood in front of her, and she couldn’t help but notice how much taller he is than her. Ah Reum felt like a child next to him even though Sehun was only a few inches shorter than him. “Are you okay? Do you need to go to the nurse?” he asked.

Ah Reum blushed a deep red, embarrassed that the Park Chanyeol saw her talking to herself. She thought that he heard what she was mumbling, but he quickly proved her wrong. “Ah, by the way, have you seen Yixing?”

“He’s in the club room. I don’t think he’ll be finished any time soon, so you can just go home without him,” he suggested.

Ah Reum didn’t get it, but she continued to question him. “Did you give him a lot to do?”

Chanyeol sensed the worry in her voice, and he quickly added, “Don’t be such a worrywart. I’m sure your boyfriend can handle that much,” he quickly walked away before she could even answer. Seeing her widened eyes made him snicker. You owe me one, Yixing.

“Boyfriend?” Never in her wildest dreams did Ah Reum think that a bogus confession would suddenly make them a couple. “It didn’t seem fake, though,” she whispered, reminiscing about the events of the night before. The words he said just felt shamelessly and utterly real. It caused such feelings to transpire inside of her, and she didn’t like it.

Making up her mind, she set her cerise umbrella inside Yixing’s locker. Doing so would make her feel relieved. Besides, she needed a splash of reality right about now.

...

The sun vanished into the thin layer of clouds as the sky darkened into a navy blue, one of the many colors that Sehun detested. Fallen leaves that were just there yesterday were gone; trees teeming with a million different shades of autumn were now as empty as a person’s memory. May it be a proposal that they received or a simple walk in the park, no matter the significance, the details of that event would slowly be erased from their mind like yesterday’s paper. Ah Reum saw it that way, and sometimes she feared that she would be yesterday’s so-called paper.

She was guilty of throwing away the newspapers that they received during the morning. She would skip over the headlines, the cover stories, and everything else in that context. Someday, she would be that crumpled newspaper shoved all the way to the bottom of Sehun’s recycling bin. He would be too busy to notice, for basking in the magnificence of an online article was more important to him than waiting for a printed version of that same article online.

Technology was improving lately, so she wouldn’t be astonished if her conversations with Sehun were limited to texting only. Now that Da Eun was the focus point of his portraits, she knew better than to get in the way of his contentment. After all, she decided long ago that his joy mattered most to her.

Talking to Wendy made her realize a lot of things, and for some time she was stuck in the middle of a rock and a hard place. Her story enthused many and encouraged them to pursue the one they loved and under no circumstances give up no matter the outcome. Ah Reum could already picture the dismayed looks on their faces if they found out that their role model suddenly forgot her role and resolve in doing what she did.

Her classmates would always talk about envying her for never experiencing not even a single downfall in life. Ah Reum wanted to laugh all those times because her mind would always scream and deny everything that they were saying, yet would remain shut. With the rumors about her circulating the school, she was sure that there was no need for more. She had received enough hate, but Ah Reum knew deep inside her heart that it would never equate to how much she hated herself.

The rain intensified, but looking for shelter was the last thing on her mind. Ah Reum would rather indulge in the beauty of the sky and look for its faults, and the reason Sehun disliked it. Maybe then she would be able to realize why she’s not the one destined to be with him.

Briefly closing her eyes, she welcomed the icy sensation of a thousand raindrops kissing her skin. Though the rain didn’t particularly exhibit any essential qualities, Ah Reum silently hoped that the thoughts in her mind would be washed away like footprints in the sand. Nevertheless, those same thoughts would consume her before her prayers would be answered.

Realizing that Sehun would be heading home soon, she quickened her pace as if her life were on the line. Familiar cars that traveled the busy roads were running at speeds greater than the limit. Everyone had a place to be, and it was unquestionably better to get there early than late. In a country where numerous accidents occurred, Ah Reum wasn’t surprised when a car expeditiously passed by her; if she hadn’t moved her feet, then she would’ve become roadkill right then and there.

Getting home in such inclement weather was impossible, or so she thought. She felt like her heart was going to jump out of her rib cage, yet she was exultant that she endured through that obstacle that could’ve easily killed her if it weren’t for her determination to get home.

As she stepped inside, she noticed an exotic pair of shoes sitting next to the heels that she had worn the night before. It looked like the type of shoes that rich people typically wore; she could’ve sworn that she saw that same pair of shoes being advertised on the television. Had a burglar snuck in? If so, then how could that have come about? Her household wasn’t a sanctuary that one can simply prance in as they pleased. Even without the alarm located in the living room, her mother would appear out of nowhere and then disappear when she’s assured that there’s nothing wrong with the house.

Noise erupted in the kitchen; Ah Reum willed herself not to make a sound. If the floor were to creak at that moment, she would undoubtedly be disheartened. Her mother always taught her never to involve herself in a situation where one can handle it on their own. However, if being included was a given, then running away would be taboo. If she walked in on a suspicious person, she would unequivocally run away, but if her mother were there, she would do everything in her power to save her even if it meant sacrificing her life.

She inched closer as time slowly passed by. As soon as she was one step away from the kitchen, she heard the sound of a woman’s laughter. Ah Reum was muddled. It was just her mother; nothing was wrong with her.

“Mom? What’s so fun– Oh. Hello.” The man greeted her back just as awkwardly as she had done. It was a pleasant surprise to see her mother in the same room as him because she never recalled a memory in which they were all together. Ah Reum was just about ready to bombard them with questions, but it was not the right time. Her parents being together must mean something, and she immediately knew what it was without asking them.

“Is it surprising to see me here?” he asked. “Do I make you uncomfortable?”

She shook her head. “No. I’m delighted that you could come. Discussing everything with you would be amazing.” Ah Reum’s words were sincere. She took into consideration what Yixing said about the benefits of having a dad. At that time, she thought that he was just spouting nonsense, but now she saw what he meant by that.

Jaesop was taken aback; he felt his heart melting though it was quite chilly outside. “I’d like that, too,” he smiled.

…

Seulgi tapped her foot impatiently. She had rung the doorbell a million times, yet there was no one answering. The nerve. She took the time off from her busy schedule to visit him, but here she was gracelessly standing in front of his apartment like a girl who got dumped and was in quest of a reason as to why that ensued.

She was not only angry because of that. Seulgi had erroneously seen his information while helping out in the teacher’s lounge, and from then on she could not help but keep a spot reserved for him. Everything on there was something she had already known, but something caught her off guard. Seulgi didn’t know if he had collapsed or if he was watching her freak out from behind the door that separated them and was purposely ignoring her. If it were the latter, then she would pester him for the rest of his life.

Other residents had come and gone, never failing to eye her as they walked by. Seulgi had grown tired of worrying relentlessly about someone she barely knew. She was fuming with anger; any passerby could’ve easily mistaken her as a volcano all set to erupt. Seulgi was ready to leave, but of course, not without him getting a piece of her mind.

“You made me worried for nothing, you chee–”

The door had unlocked before she got to finish her sentence. A flushed Luhan hurried out as he leaned on the entrance. He was staring at her; she was glaring at him. With only eight and a half words aiding him as an elucidation for an irate Seulgi, he could tell that she lingered for a long time, and she was eager to know what excuse he could come up with to enlighten her about his dilemma.

She wasn’t speaking; he knew very well what that meant. Seulgi was waiting for him to spill the details, but that would be boring. She bit her lip so hard it looked like it hurt. When he gawked at her, she still had that stoic look on her face as if it didn’t wound her.

He needed to think of something fast. “I’m a what?” The words came out of his mouth so effortlessly though he didn’t mean to say it.

Seulgi raised her eyebrow as if amused; shortly after she scoffed and crossed her arms, refusing to answer that question. She was like that. Whenever there was a question she didn’t particularly like, she would cross her arms and act as if she didn’t hear a word of it.

Luhan had heard a lot about her from Sooyoung and Yerim, so he discerned that gesture as a habit of hers. He wasn’t in his right state of mind. Words he usually wouldn’t say were coming out with ease. There was no longer that lump in his throat that was all too familiar. He felt weird, but he liked it. In this state, he would be able to ask away with a proper excuse. “I’m dying to know.”

Seulgi gritted her teeth. “You’re literally going to die, you jerk.”

…

Yixing glanced outside noticing the sudden change in weather. He recalled checking the news, and they never sa