Despite her best efforts, my mother was never really able to cook me Korean food. We went out to Korea Town near Los Angeles sometimes, but that wasn’t exactly home cooking. Not that I minded, but my poor mother was rather devastated at her failure as a mother. Mind you, she worked full time as a lawyer so no one exactly expected a Martha Steward. Nonetheless, as I sat eating Jin’s cooking, it was very strange to me. Kimchi I had eaten before, at least, but the rest was utterly unrecognizable. It was good, though. Or at least I thought it was. It might have also just been my starvation kicking in, I couldn’t really tell.

I took a moment from ungracefully stuffing my face to look up, relieved to find that I wasn’t the only one. Even Jin’s broad shoulders were hunched over his own plate, shoveling food awkwardly into his normally perfect, small mouth. I nearly choked on my food as I stifled a laugh, quickly looking away, but Yoongi on the other side of me wasn’t much better. His naturally puffy cheeks were amplified by the unnatural amount of food he had managed to fit in his mouth. Once again I swallowed hard to avoid laughing out loud.

“Do you not like it?” Jin’s soft voice was alarmingly close to me, and I jumped a bit in my seat as I turned to look at him. His face made me pause. His large doe eyes shined as his eyebrows rose in worry, causing little ripples on his forehead, his pouty lips slightly parted as he spoke quietly. For a man five years my senior who was supposedly angry at my very existence, he sure didn’t look like either of those things. I was so taken off-guard, I found myself staring. When his expression didn’t change, I swallowed again, forcing myself to speak.

“No, no,” I insisted, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically, looking down at my mostly demolished plate of food, “It’s delicious. I just,” I scrambled for an excuse for my behavior, considering I was just laughing at your face seemed like a poor explanation, “I tried eating too fast,” I reasoned.

This seemed to placate him, as his face relaxed into a very subtle lopsided smile before he returned his attention to his own food. I breathed a little sigh of relief before helping myself to the rest of my food. But before I could, I caught Yoongi’s look out of the corner of my eye. Turning my head to face him, I saw a smug little smile on his crooked face. I had no idea what scheme was in that head of his, but I couldn’t help but imagine it wasn’t for my benefit. When our eyes met, his smile spread a little for just a moment before he looked away, pulled into a conversation with Namjoon. Shaking my head slightly, I returned my attention to the scraps of food left on my plate.

It had been a long day already, and it wasn’t even over yet. As I pushed the pitiful noodle scraps around my plate, I took the relatively quiet moment to gather my thoughts, doing my best to avoid the unpleasantness with Jungkook. I had spent just a day with these guys and all I had to go on were first impressions and vague introductions. Sneaking a glance down the line, I watched as they all chatted and ate together, finding some level of contentedness. I supposed they had been given the time to really accept their situation and make the best of it, and I was a bit envious. I admitted I was mostly in denial about the whole thing, but I had at least made the decision to make of it what I could, and befriending these guys seemed like a worthwhile endeavor. And just my luck, it seemed they had already taken me in, despite their initial misgivings.

The room began to fill with more and more voices and less sounds of clattering and eating, signaling the end of meal time. Jin moved to stand up next to me, but in a flash, Namjoon was behind us, a firm hand on Jin’s shoulder, “Hey Jin, take it easy,” he spoke quietly, but Yoongi and I were both watching the exchange.

“But Namjoon,” Jin began to protest, though he sank back to his knees in response to the pressure.

The taller man behind just laughed a little, his wide smile warm and friendly across his round face, small subtle dimples appearing on his cheeks, “Let me and the kids take care of it.”

I glanced to Jin, who was so wholly occupied with the conversation, I doubt he noticed mine and Yoongi’s stares. He looked slightly conflicted as he kept eye contact with Namjoon. “Okay,” he finally said in a half whisper, finally relaxing, a small smile appearing in his face as well. From watching the pair, I suddenly felt as if I were intruding just by watching them, it was an oddly intimate moment, Jin’s eyes lingering on Namjoon’s retreating back. Quickly I turned to Yoongi on the opposite side of me to gauge a reaction, but he had turned his attention back to his plate, quietly shaking his head to himself. He must have felt my gaze, however, as he quickly flicked his eyes to me, and simply repeated the subtle head shake, as if telling me not to worry about it. But what had just happened? I looked back to Jin, whose face was unusually sad as he stared into nothingness. On the surface it had seemed like such a simple exchange, but the air had been uncomfortably heavy. I had felt it once before- when Jin and I first met. Namjoon’s defense for me had thrown Jin off, throwing him instantly into doubt. Clearly I still had a lot to learn about these guys.

Any plans for me to continue my train of thought were thwarted by Taehyung’s sudden appearance as he strutted down the line, picking up the empty plates and mats. “Thank you,” I spoke with a little smile once he reached me, and he repaid me with his wide grin before moving along to Jin. And just like that, the only ones remaining in the main room were Jin, Yoongi, Hobie, and myself. And just as soon as I had resolved to sit with Hobie- clearly the friendliest of the bunch, he stood and moved for the door.

“Going out?” Yoongi called, not even looking up from the bag he was rummaging through under his bed.

Hobie paused at the voice, quickly glancing back, “Yeah,” he smiled a little, “I won’t go far.”

“I know,” Yoongi waved a hand in his general direction, “Go on,” he still didn’t even look at his friend, clearly hell-bent on finding whatever he was looking for. As soon as the door creaked to a close, Yoongi plucked something from the bag, clearly satisfied as he flopped onto his bed. It was a little book and a pen. He cracked the book open and began writing in earnest. I could just see the tip of his tongue at the corner of his mouth. I wanted nothing more than to ask him about it, but Yoongi just generally seemed like a guy who didn’t like being bothered. Glancing to Jin, who was leaning against the wall while sitting in his corner bed, there was no way I was about to approach him in his current state. Not to mention the fact that I had seen him cycle through such a wide range of emotions in my short time knowing him, I had no way of knowing what my reception would be.

Feeling a bit awkward, I scrambled to my feet, brushing off my black linen standard issue pants before heading