"Are you ing stupid?"

I couldn't help but laugh to myself slightly as Jungkook asked the exact question I had predicted from him. The concern was touching, it really was, but the predictability was borderline comical. Once Taehyung and Hobie had returned from rounds and put the supplies away, I gathered everybody together and updated them on the big plan. Despite my efforts to make it sound perfectly safe and reasonable, the looks of worry and disapproval were unsurprising. Jungkook had been the first to break the awkward silence when I had finished explaining the basis of the scheme. "That's what I thought you'd say," I mumbled to myself as I pressed the heels of my hands into my closed eyes, the pressure oddly comforting as I took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes again, the white residual static from rubbing them quickly faded as I took inventory of their facial expressions. My eyes eventually fell on Yoongi's, his face twisted into a complicated mix of emotions, making him hard to read. "I trust Namjoon to help me," I said pointedly, ensuring Yoongi held eye contact as I spoke. He looked away, clearly unconvinced. I knew he was worried, and in the end, I couldn't exactly blame him. The plan was crazy and dangerous, and I knew that. It wasn’t just my on the line, either. There was Namjoon to think about.

It was Jin who caught my eyes next, his arms crossed over his broad chest as he leaned against the wall behind the rest of them. "And you want to do this?" he asked carefully, his surprisingly intense doe-eyed gaze asking his real question. His almond eyes still retained their innate kindness, but it was still strange to see him look so intense about anything. Especially when it was directed at me.

I managed a tiny little half smile as I answered him, once again trying to sound insistent and sincere, "He didn't pressure me into this." I was rewarded with a very slight little nod from Jin. Yet again I was touched that he had my best interest in mind, but I hoped he actually believed me this time. It was pretty clear he’d have to get the same story from Namjoon himself to be one hundred percent convinced.

The room fell quiet once again, and the air was heavy and awkward. It was Taehyung who seemed restless, chewing on his bottom lip absently. He wanted to say something, of that I was sure. Once he made up his mind, his deep, narrow eyes catching mine. He sighed slightly, his face skewing into a guilty grimace. At last, he gathered the courage to speak up, his deep voice uncharacteristically soft, “Do you think it’ll work?”

It looked like Jungkook wanted to protest, but it was clear he was conflicted. They all were. “It’s okay,” I spoke as I took a step forward towards them. “I think we have a good chance,” I kept my voice light and optimistic. The last thing I needed was for the guys to discourage me. I was apprehensive enough as it was, and I would definitely need every bit of support that I could get. When I was met with silence yet again, I involuntarily sighed, looking away from the uncomfortable expressions. “Look, guys,” I finally reached up to pinch the bridge of my nose as I thought hard, my face scrunching up in frustration, “Can’t you guys trust me on this one?”

“Of course we can trust you, it’s just,” Yoongi started, clearly unsure of how to proceed, his downturned eyes shifting around, looking anywhere but right at me.

Jungkook pushed past him, taking an aggressive step towards me, “So do you have to go every day?” he pressed, his dark hair falling into his face slightly as he searched my face. Hobie caught him by the back of his shirt, pulling him back in line, that long, expressive face giving me an apologetic look as he managed to restrain the grumbling Jungkook.

“What if you get caught?” Taehyung’s deep but quiet voice reached me, and my eyes squeezed shut. I had already wracked my brain about this plan for a while, thinking of contingencies, potential failure modes, and possible outcomes. It was becoming too much to have these boys, who I certainly considered my friends, questioning me like that. I kept reminding myself not to blame them. This was their life, too, and it affected all of us. But the constant mantra was failing. I could feel the anxiety claw at my chest.

A calm voice cut through the dull roar of the continuous questioning, “Alright, alright.” Familiar hands fell on my shoulders, but when I opened my eyes, my face was already buried in Hobie’s chest as he pulled me to him. “Seokjin,” Hobie called gently over my head, his voice low and urgent.

“Right,” I heard Jin’s musical voice speak with a little sigh, “Taehyung, Jungkook, come help me put the supplies away.” When murmurs of protests came from the two youngest, Jin’s voice raised to a more authoritative level, “Listen, Namjoon will be home later, and we’ll have another pow-wow then, okay? Now get going.” Lifting my head from Hobie’s shirt, I caught sight of Jungkook and Taehyung shuffling away, hauling the crates of supplies to the kitchen, their grumbling audible even when they passed through the doorway. I couldn’t see Jin, but his voice piped up once again, “Yoongi, go… fix something, or whatever,” Jin was less convincing at that point, his voice almost carrying a tone of laughter.

I couldn’t help but smile, looking up into Hobie’s broad grin as he laughed along with me. Yoongi’s groan was dramatic, and I could hear him flop onto his cot, the steel frame scraping loudly along the concrete floor. Relieved that the tension had dissipated, I pulled away from Hobie. He reached up to ruffle my hair slightly, his smile relaxing comfortably. “You good?” he asked me quietly before letting me go.

Nodding just slightly, I gave him a weary, but genuine smile, “I’m fine, Hobie.” His empathy never failed to amaze me, and I was grateful for his intervention. His smile spread, his eyes curving into narrow crescents. With a gentle pat, he sent me on my way, making his way to the kitchen, presumably to help or ensure Jungkook and Taehyung didn’t mess anything up. It was just Jin, Yoongi, and I left in the main room, but my focus was entirely on my bed. Shuffling towards it, I flopped down onto my back, looking up at the incredibly boring grey concrete ceiling. I was suddenly exhausted. Not in the sleepy tired sort of way, but more in the I-can’t-deal-with-this--anymore kind of way. Back home I had been a renowned introvert, but now here I was, constantly in the company of six young men who I admittedly loved spending time with. Meeting the officials had been the final straw, though. I needed some alone time in an environment where being alone was a practical impossibility. The only alone time I ever got was walking to and from the MedLab. Something to look forward to tomorrow, I thought before draping a corner of my scratchy wool blanket over my eyes. It would have to do.

I didn’t remember falling asleep. However, I was suddenly startled awake when the blanket was tugged away from my face, causing me to reflexively cover my eyes with my forearm. When I groaned grumpily, I heard a soft chuckle come from my bedside. Shifting my arm, I cracked an eye open to see the offender. “Oh so I wake you up, and I almost get murdered, but it’s totally cool for you to wake me up?” I grumbled, frowning indignantly at the goofy grin on Yoongi’s face. I dropped my arm back over my eyes, relieved at the return to darkness.

“Something like that,” Yoongi’s low, smooth voice chimed back, so smug that I had to glare at him from under my arm. I let it fall to my side, clear that my peace had been disrupted for good. His face twisted into a crooked little half-smile. My sleepy, exhausted brain couldn’t help but find his cocky little smirk rather attractive- his attitude just the right amount of sass to keep up with me. I struggled to keep my dramatic frown, but the smile won out in the end. “There you go,” Yoongi teased before pushing off the steel frame of my cot to stand up again.

 “What, you wak