Time passed, and I managed to calm down quite a bit as I continued to recover. My initial anxiety about pushing forward and my immediate future eventual gave way to a content sort of peace that I enjoyed with the seven boys in our little concrete box. I returned to the government village to keep up appearances, but the meeting was incredibly awkward. The Chairman seemed to be debating whether to baby me or give me fifty feet of clearance at any given moment. Mr. Shin left the room as soon as I arrived. Namjoon later explained that he felt guilty for ever doubting me and for treating me poorly. It was just as well- it meant I wasn’t expected to make those visits as often as I one had. My plan, of course, would require me to do so, but I allowed myself at least a little bit of time away from that aspect of this life. Instead, I spent lazy days lounging with Yoongi, or out for walks with Jin and Jungkook. Jimin often followed me like a lost puppy, trying to learn absolutely everything there was to know about me. Apparently he felt left out that he didn’t get to spend the past six months getting to know me like the rest of them, so he figured constant interrogation would get him caught up. While superficially, it got a bit annoying, I appreciated the attention. Not to mention, the joy he brought to the rest of the boys made it all worthwhile. I had never really noticed that anything was off, but the return of Jimin made it apparent that there had been a piece missing. Jungkook and Taehyung seemed to double in energy with their friend back, much to the chagrin of Jin and Yoongi. Peace and quiet were nowhere to be found if those three were together. Jimin and Jungkook were inseparable- mostly by Jimin’s design. As much as Jungkook grumbled and groaned about his friend’s pestering, it was pretty clear that he was happy to endure it.

Days turned to weeks, and I started to think that maybe postponing my plan for a while longer wouldn’t be so bad. On no particularly special day, I found myself where I often did- sitting up in Yoongi’s cot, nestled against his side, very distinctively not looking at what he was writing in his book. If there was one way to make him grouchy, it was to give him the impression that I was trying to sneak a peek at the pale pages. We had spent so much time together, that it was easy to just be comfortable in each other’s company. Whenever he did show affection, though, I felt his restraint. As time went on, I could sense that it became more and more difficult for him to hold back. On the one hand, I was tempted to just tell him that it was okay, that maybe I should just make a move to take our intimacy another step forward. On the other hand, though, I appreciated the hesitation. I wasn’t 100% sure that I really was ready. I was self-aware enough to know that despite the passage of time, I was still actively trying to mentally and emotionally deal with the and resulting miscarriage. Plus, it’s not like we were on the clock, anyway. As long as he was willing to wait for me, I would take my time. The last thing I wanted was to take that step just to regret it later and deal with what would undoubtedly be weeks of guilt on Yoongi’s part.

My conflicting thoughts were interrupted when the front door burst open. It was the dead of winter by then, snow thick on the ground. Flurries flew into the warm room as Jungkook and Jimin tumbled through the doorway. Their cheeks were red from the cold, their breath visible on the thin air. Despite all that, however, they looked positively wild. “Zoey!” Jungkook spotted me and jogged to the bedside. “Hey, we need a ref. Can you come?” he asked quickly, breathless from what apparently was exhaustion.

I felt my brows knit together. “Ref?” I questioned, glancing back at Yoongi, whose chest I was still leaning on, but he merely shrugged noncommittally.

“Yeah, Hobie found an old ball behind the warehouse, and we’re going to play a game,” Jimin was close behind, trying to speak through gasps for breath. They must have run here from whatever open space they had found.

Yoongi’s face twitched into a little lopsided smirk as he looked over my shoulder at the panting duo. “Let me guess, Hobie and TaeTae won’t play unless you get a referee.”

Jungkook sighed audibly, “Right,” he droned, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. Even with his slight frown, his wide front teeth bit absently at his lip as he thought. “It’s not my fault they’re such sissies,” he whined slightly, kicking at the dust on the concrete floor.

“Jungkookie,” Jimin moved to console his taller friend, laying a small hand on his shoulder, “You have to admit you do play dirty sometimes.” His already light voice was careful and slow, as if he were afraid Jungkook would turn around and bite the hand that was resting there.

Thankfully, Jungkook only sighed again, letting his shoulders droop sadly. He pouted sadly at me, gazing at me with those large dark eyes of his. “I’m just a little competitive,” he spoke innocently, but despite his words and his gaze, the other three of us in the room knew he was full of . He was very competitive in every aspect that he could find.

We all laughed a little at his little tantrum, but I felt Yoongi gently nudge my back, “Go on, you know they won’t leave until you go,” he murmured into my ear, his chin resting on my shoulder. Shivers went down my spine as I felt his breath against my neck. “Oh and thrown an extra shirt on or something so you don’t freeze,” he added with a low chuckle, misinterpreting my shutter as a reaction to the cold.

“We can have her?” Jungkook perked up as soon as I started to move. “Great,” he spoke simply before stepping forward. In one motion, he scooped me up off of the bed and threw me over his shoulder. I squeaked from the suddenness, and looked to Yoongi for help. Unfortunately, he was just waving me away, his attentions already refocusing on his notebook. Yoongi’s inherent jealousy of Jungkook had faded significantly as time went on. In all honesty, I was actually quite pleased that he was secure enough in our mutual affections to allow shenanigans like this to happen. In the back of my mind, though, I wondered how that would change once I was mandated to start sleeping with Jungkook again.

I didn’t get to ponder the thought long as Jungkook spun on his heel and carried me out the door, Jimin scurrying behind us. Once we were outside and the door closed, Jungkook gently put me down, to my relief. The three of us walked together out onto the snow-packed pathway, chatting idly as we went. When we finally arrived in the little clearing, I vaguely recognized it from when Taehyung and Jungkook had brought me there to see the big dog for the first time. And with that thought I realized something- I hadn’t seen the giant creature since that day it followed me home after my assault. Despite my deep-seeded fear of big dogs, I briefly hoped that no matter where it was, that it was okay.

As soon as Taehyung spotted me, however, my introspection was interrupted as he came bounding towards me. “Oh thank goodness, you found Zoey!” He grabbed my arm and pulled me along to a place near the edge of the clearing for me to stand while he explained the game. It sounded like some strange combination of soccer and American football. The only thing that concerned me was that tackling was deemed both legal and necessary. But then again, I wasn’t exactly intent on functioning as a legitimate referee anyway. I was more the heckling type. Regardless, I scuffed up a patch of dirt along the imaginary sidelines to be rid of the snow and settled down against a tree, fully aware that my was going to be cold and wet the rest of the day. I didn’t have time to mind, though, as the boys got to it immediately.

“YA KOOKIE YOU HIT LIKE A PANSY,” I shouted from my perch once they had really gotten into it, Jungkook landing a particularly tough blow right into Hobie’s chest. Jungkook was the easy heckle target, since the guy was clearly overly competitive and physically outmatched everyone else on the field. Thankfully Hobie was a close second. Despite his clear advantages, Jungkook was surprisingly easy to rattle.

Sweat pouring down his face, he stomped over to me, bits of snow scattering at each footfall. “Oh yeah?” he panted, pointing a finger aggressively at my face. It probably didn’t help that I was giggling like a little girl. “Well,” h