For 37 years I have lived with regret and sorrow. For 37 years guilt has been eating me alive. I never meant to hurt you, I loved you and I still do love you. I didn't mean for that night to end the way it did. Can you ever forgive me even though you were in love with a monster.

It had been well over a year since a young boy named Jonghyun had started school. He had become an out cast and never fit in. Becoming quiet and closed up, sitting at the back of the class room and never going out to play. One Thursday, it all changed thanks to a young new boy arriving and Jonghyun could see the new kid going through what he did. Jonghyun's dream had come true, he finally had found the friend of his dreams.

This date always held so many memories for us, all so special and to celebrate each year. I never imagined how perfect my life could of turned out becauseof meeting him on that day all those may years back. he truly is my one true love, fate truly worked it's magic on us, we were destine to be together from the moment I laid eye's on the feline beauty.

It was something neither thought could ever happen especially for the younger yet her ehe laid in the heart of the forest, in the middle of a horrid storm, snuggled up in the arms of his lover in a warm, safe tent. Never did Key think he would of made it through the day and faced his fears if it wasn't with his lover by his side.

It had been two very long years for the younger, each day felt like a week, a week felt like a month and a month felt like a year. Today he was going to be finally allowed home and Key could not wait to be reunited with his boyfriend of nine years, to hold him in his arms and kiss his plump lips, To finally tell Jonghyun just how much he really, truly loved him.

Jonghyun sighed as he watched his lover finally sleep peacefully though the horried storm continued out side, still with out no power, he could only see his lover thanks to the soft, golden glow from the flame flickering on top of the sweet sented candle. He was left breath less once again as he swore his Key looked even more beautiful then ever before.

Key touched the stone cold window lightlym delictae finger's caressing the see through barrier stopping him from reaching is boyfriend sitting behind the closed wooden door. He missed the older and just wanted to let the older know he was there, a smile or wave would just make his day a million times better.

It was Sunday morning in London and Jonghyun just can't help but stare at the sleeping beauty be side him, thinking off all the thing's Key had done for him and how the feline beauty changed him in to a love sick idiot, to this day he still cannot believe such a beautiful angel was really just all his alone.

Key sighed as he sat up in bed, it was valentines day yet his lover wasn't there. Jonghyun had one more week in Japan before he would come home. Key felt alone, sad and just fed up, lost with out the older. While walking to the kitchen, a red envelope sticking out the letter box catch's his eye, becoming extra curious as to who sent him something.

Jonghyun returns home after his first radio show broadcast is finished, excited to see his beautiful lover again but how is he going to explain the huge soup stain on his white knitted jumper Key had gotten him.

Jonghyun could not be more happier to have his adorable boyfriend home for Chrismas. It was a shock to see him on his door step so close to the holidays especially when his boyfriend was meant to be the other side of the world.

It's bonfire night and what aperfect way to spend it then with the love of your life, roast marsh mellow's for the first time and just falling even more in love with the most perfect lover Key could ever ask  for.

It was Halloween and Jonghyun and Key had kicked the other three out, wanting some alone time together. Jonghyun wanted the last Vanilla fudge but Key was going to make him work for it.

I'm too busy picking fight's with the boy in the mirror, he seemed so happy to break me down in to nothing  and makes me feel worthless though there was always some one I could rely on and make me feel that extra special for a few moments and put the boy in the mirror in his place.

It was the big day for Minjee as she was about to star in her first ever school play and my husband Key seem more excited for her play then she is. I just know he will get all over emotional once the play starts and see's our princess take centre stage.

It was 1.30 am and we were still waiting to go and record our performance of Everybody for our Inkigayo comeback stage and Key was about how cold he was. I had to sort thisoutbefore he never speaks to me again.

I groaned a little and slowly opened my eye's rubbing them with my palms. I slowly sat up and took in my surrounding's every thing looked amazing, Pure white and gold decorated the buildings. People wearing what they wanted. I blinked in sudden shock. Heaven was a truly beautiful place. I had finally arrived and felt so happy to begin my new life here. My one and only mission to find the person I had come to see and be with for the rest of my life.