TITLE: I'm sorry, But I can't

By: yeonnie_kr

Title: (3/5)

It's a good title. It makes  me want to read it because as a reader I'd like to know why she/he can't. I can't say for sure if the title did relate to the story because it's not yet finished, but for now,I think it did relate to the  story.

 

Poster/ Background: (2/5)

I feel bad for giving you this  grade but, your poster was quite plain. You only combined  some images of the characters plus you don't have any background so I can't give you a high grade here.

 

Description/ Foreword: (6/10)

It was quite good.  Putting up a quote which is intriguing in the foreword is a good thing.. Though I think, the character profile's supposed to be in the foreword. It had some grammatical errors so I had to deduct a few points.

 

Plot: (20/25)

The plot is actually quite cliche. Boy gets dumped  by girl in the past, then boy tries to get revenge on the girl, the girl acts innocent and naive. Although, I can recognize your efforts to make it unique that 's why I only deducted a  few points.

 

Characterization: (7/10)

Well, Jiyeon for me was too perfect. You know, she didn't  have any flaw. It was  kind of unrealistic. Kevin, Eli and Dongho was fine though.

 

Grammar/ Spelling: (14/20)

Well, there are quite a number of grammatical errors and mispelled words, so I deducted quite a large point here. Sorry, I'm a grammar nazi. I'm quite confused on the tenses that you use. Sometimes it's a past tense,  then it becomes a present tense. It made me dizzy. The mispelled words are only a few, but it  showed me that you  don't proofread your chapters. Before  posting, please proofread first. ^.^

 

Some examples of grammatical errors:

Ex.

At the very first place, I know I needed to help my buddy cope with his imaginative thinking so that's why from this time on Im helping him

It should be:

In the first place, I knew I needed to help my buddy cope up with his imaginative thinking, that's why this time, I'm going to help him.

 

Another ex.

I immidiately go to my  office and call for the person  that I will recommend to Kevin

 

It should be:

I immediately went to my office and called for the person  that I'm going to recommend to Kevin.

 

Ex.

Eli will introduce me to his  friend wherein I am recommended  to be the designer of its clothes.

 

Should be:

Eli will introduce me to his friend, who I was recommended to be the designer  of his/her clothes.

 

There are quite a number so I'm afraid  that if I mention it all, it might take a long time. I suggest that you get a beta  reader.

 

Style: (10/10)

I'll give you a full mark for this.I have nothing to say about your writing style.

 

Flow: (10/10)

It's very good. It wasn't too fast or too  slow for me.It was fine. Keep up the good job.

 

Interest Level: (5/5)

Well, I'm interested on how Kevin will make everything hard for Jiyeon.

 

Total: (77/100)

 

Bonus: (5/5)

I'm not fond of reading fanfics that's not about Jessica or EXO but your fic  made me want to read other fanfics about other idols  too.

 

New Total: (82/100)

Review by:  theeveranonymousone