The Day I lost My Life...

Today is my most hated day of the year... I know it may sound uninteresting but I'll tell you anyway.

 

4 years ago, this same day was the day I lost my life. I know it's so a long time ago, but the pain of

the past is still hauting me. I just can't forget him, he's my life. 

 

People wonder why I still cry after hearing his name, why after 4 years I still cry in my sleep. I can't

answer them cause I also am asking the same question to myself.

 

I was still a child when I lost him, but I know for sure that in this child body's lies a heart that knows

how to love. At a young age, I experienced true love.

 

I often laugh when I remembered him saying he has Leukemia because at that time I thought it

some kind of like fever or a cold. I was too innocent or maybe ignorant.

 

His condition deteriorated without me knowing. He's good in faking a smile and was better in hiding

his pains. Knowing him was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, I'm just too insensitive that

I didn't know he's dying inside his perfect mask. 

 

Aug 13, I received a gift from him, a picture of us. If only I knew that was the last day I'll be able to 

see him, I should have told him how much I love him, I should have hugged him whole day, but I

guess it's too late for me to regret. 

 

I don't think, I'll ever love anymore. I've already had my true love, he's more than enough for me.

While writing this, I have our picture in front of me. He may not read this, I'll write it anyway...

 

"JV, I love you and I miss you so. You'll be my one and only, this I promise you. Please take care of 

my heart that was buried with you. I'll never forget the day you left, cause it's also the Day I Lost my 

Life..."

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LeeYan #1
@minbiased123 : I rememered Siwon once Tweeted... "The only person you can rely on is God.".. .My friend and I tweeted him back. "That may be true but, God is using other means to let you know that He cares and those means are called 'FRIENDS'".
imperfectlyevil #2
@minbiased123: You may not know, in certain conditions, you'll find your true friends. Even though unseen, it's what in their hearts that is important. I'm glad that I was considered as one of your true friends. ^^<br />
<br />
@LeeYan: :DDD
OnlySJ4Ever #3
loveAnonymous: Sorry for making you cry<br />
<br />
LeeYan:Thank you for being there. That's my favorite line, I even posted it on facebook.<br />
<br />
chubbycheekmochi14:Though I don't know you both personally, I felt like I found true friends in you
LeeYan #4
@minbiased123 : Quoting Sungmin from my FF... "I can't promise you everything will be ok... But it gets better."<br />
<br />
@chubbycheeksmochi14 : :)
imperfectlyevil #5
I agree with LeeYan. Like what is written in my comment on your other blog. ^^<br />
<br />
You could do it; I promise. Remember: we're always here for you, dear. :)
LeeYan #6
@minbiased123 : Losing somebody is always sad. But I know that this person would want you to be happy. I know that no one else can take his part in your life, but his memories will forever live in your mind and heart. Grieve then move on. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting about this person. You have your own life to live. And I think he would be happier in that better place if he can see you happy as well. <br />
<br />
This shouldn't be the day you lost your life, but the Day you start a new one. <br />
<br />
Cheer up my friend. :)
loveAnonymous #7
</3.<br />
/sobbing like a child.
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