Well eventhough life has been treating me incredibly horrible these past few months and i can honestly say that i am done with trying to keep up with this person, i'm not saying who it is, but i'm just done. I tried to make time for us and I tried to see if we could ever go back to what we used to be, real best friends, but i guess that's never going to happen. It's like we're so close, we talk on the phone so often but it seems like we're so far away. I guess you should know by now that it was gonna end up this way and you could probably care less. You've changed and it makes me so sad to see you this way.

For all those people out there who lost their best friends to the horrible wrath of the evil that is known as popularity, then just now that you should give up with the begging and hoping this person will stick beside you because your only going to look pathetic. Some friends are meant to be gone and that's just means you should move on and find a better friend. I know how bad it feels to not be able to let go, because maybe they've been your friend for so long, but wake up, this person has found people who he/she thinks are much better than you or far more "entertaining" so show this person up, walk away from it all.

I finally got to chance to talk to her and I told her how much she changed, she took it lightly and called me selfish for trying to "hog" her and that I needed to stop asking for so much attention and after thinking about for only a moment I realized how stupid I had been for trying to make things work and basically change myself for this person and I knew it was time for this fake me to stop trying. I ended things with her, and I don't really regret doing that. Who knows? Maybe she will realize how incredibly stupid she was being and apologize, but I think even then I will look away. I will not forgive and forget because I know damn well that she'll probably do the same thing all over again.

So anyone who may happen to read this, anyone who misses a friend who left them for reasons that are cruel,  I want them to know that they are not alone and that those kind of people are just heartless and stupid and if it hurts that bad, just talk it out or SERIOUSLY consider writing in a journal because it REALLY helps, i'm not even kidding. You could just get a piece of paper and write how you feel, cuss and write angry things as much as you want, and then just rip it up and throw it away as if it was nothing, it really helps me get things off my chest.

While I was in the heat of the moment I actually began to write a song about my problem with this person and I'm actually considering opening up an advice column of some sort because I really want to help and I've been through things, but I've gotten through them. I want people to ask me their opinions and I know they need someone to talk to, like with my friends, they usually just ask me things on Facebook or something but I like knowing that I am helping them and that they feel better that way.

The lyrics to the song I'm starting to write:

Maybe i'm hopeless
Trust me I know
You don't care for me
So maybe I should go

I wanted your attention
Was that so bad?
When half of my life
That's something I've never had

Once we were close
Now nothing but strangers
Even though we're right here
All I feel is hate for

Tearing my heart
Walking away
Leaving me alone
And giving me pain

It's my turn to smile
As if I would cry
I'm done with the begging
Your wasting my time 

I know I probably sound stupid letting this all out but it's how I feel and I just felt like I needed to be heard.