As female species, we kind of have an understanding for each other no matter what place or time, save from some difference here and there. I am talking about women under normal circumstances as in the ones who are either married or divorced and have to take care of themselves, their other party and or children and might I add in-laws too.

It is quite a normal thing when you, as a woman, grew up in environment with siblings and mother, father and probably grandparents (if you are lucky to have them live with you) and the fights, the crazy, annoying habit of not cleaning up or working along to give your mom a helping hand.

But, once you step one foot outside your safe zone aka your old home and live either with your husband, other half, partner whatever and in some situations, albeit forced, with in-laws (including the parents of the other and if you are unlucky, the siblings), the innerself comes out and everything going around you is not according to your likings. You get annoyed, get into fights sometimes, have a distaste for one or more of them except your other half.

Quite normal when these things happen, but sometimes it gets too much and you have enough you practically go crazy because they are the cause of it. The feeling of longing to go back home, back into your parents arms and the safe zone with your own kind comes out and the struggle of surviving out there gets bigger and bigger to the point you just do not know what to do and just want to crawl in a corner and not do anything.

But the days pass by and you have no choice but to drag your tired body out there and keep on moving. They say what does not kill you, makes you sronger. The saying is true, but sometimes it is like you really are at a loss, not knowing what to do or say to make a better change. Sure, you can talk to your partner about it, because he is the one you have chosen to live with the rest of your life and he is the second closest to you after your own parents and siblings (if you have).

However there are two sides of the coin. One, he could either listen to you and try sympathze with you and try to make a change to it. You, as a woman should be happy that he is willing to do everything for you, even if it is getting into a foul battle with his own kind, just to protect and stand up for you.

The other side of the coin is that he just waves your words away and or tune out your voice. This is the worst. Not getting any support nor sympathy from him hurts like thousands swords stabbing your body and your heart. Nothing feels worst than having a feeling you stand out there alone, without any moral support or just any support, to encourage, press, push you to go further no matter what.

I really do not understand the whole marriage thing yet, but I have to say the male species are just all the same. Hearing stories and experiences from colleagues, friends and other people, how they describe their husbands, partner, whatever... I have come to a conclusion that they are almost all the same: they do not concern themselves with the feelings of the woman and do nothing to help out in the house, but they give a lot of criticism, because they see things that annoy them.

And this leads to other things like when you live with the in-laws, they either deem you not good enough or they just see you as a cheap, brought in servant. On top of this all, when there is another sibling in the house who has a status of married and also with child, and she does not do her work properly, in you reyes, you get annoyed just about everything she does.

When stuff should be done and it is not, as a human and one who likes to have everything clean, cleared and organized, it is hard to live with one who is totally like a pig. Literally. You can not do anything about it, even if you want to. It irks, annoys and makes you even more depressed. How are you gonna live like that for the rest of your life? And yet, you continue to live on like that until that day comes when you are finally free of all these people.

I know I should not have any high expectations from anyone, because in this world, I am standing on my own on my own two feet, but I can not help but feel like I have had enough of everything. I am starting to think negative and feel uneasiness in my heart. It makes me think of whether a marriage the right choice is in a human life, especially in this world. Because when two people fall in love at first and then get married and end up fighting in their marriage life, leading to divorce, then the world would probably be off more better without having to make this decision (forced or not). 

Think about it, why the need of all the pain, tears and fights when this all could be avoided just by merely not getting married at all. We women would be saved a lot of misery if I have to say it cruel.