Present day 

 

 

Namjoon sits down on the dusty floor, back resting against the white wooden door as he listens to the constant sobs that fly from the other side of the door. Namjoon's legs come up to his chest and he's desperately clenching to the cotton shirt he is wearing, fingers curled at the hem. The sounds of his lover's crying rings through the door and it drives Namjoon crazy. He's tried his best to get the door to open but Seokjin won't answer. He won't leave Seokjin alone, not now when they are all falling apart from the horrid news. Seokjin is in denial, falling apart in his room and Namjoon can only bite his lip and beg his boyfriend to open the door.

"Seokjin," Namjoon's voice is hoarse and desperate as he turns his head to press his cheek against the pure door. "Seokjin, please open the door." He begs. His fingers are trembling when he reaches up to lay a palm against the white door of Seokjin's bedroom.

 

There is a soft whimper on the other side before Namjoon hears the slap of Seokjin's bare feet hitting the floor and walking closer. Seokjin stops in front of the door, watching the knob with a shake in his body but he doesn't open the door. Instead he falls to his knees and presses his forehead against the door, afraid to open the door and see Namjoon. If he sees Namjoon, it's over. If he sees Namjoon, it all becomes real.

 

"I c-can't..." Seokjin chokes out, head pounding from all the hopeless crying he's just done. "It isn't...real. It can't be, Namjoon." He furiously shakes his head, forehead rubbing against the door as he shuts his eyes tight in pain.

 

Namjoon lets out a pained noise from the back of his throat. He removes his legs from his chest and turns around to place his forehead against the door, legs tucked under him like he knows Seokjin is doing now. He shuts his eyes as well and finally sobs. Seokjin's eyes water once again when he looks at his door and hears Namjoon begin to cry his eyes out. Namjoon bangs his fist furiously on the door of Seokjin's room, causing the locked door to tremble and hit Seokjin's forehead lightly but Seokjin does not move. Instead, he presses closer to the door and listens to Namjoon's constant sniffs and pained noises. Seokjin's tears fall silently, the realization sinking in that this is real. He can try to run away from the reality so much but from the way Namjoon is banging on his door and crying, he is realizing this is the truth.

 

", Seokjin..." Namjoon bangs on the door once more with his right hand. He is angrily clenching his hands into fists in anger, sadness and grieve. "He's gone, Jin, he's ing gone." He hisses out through his sobs.

 

Seokjin in a deep breath and whimpers. He doesn't want to know the truth, he wants to stay in denial forever. One of their friends can't be dead, their life long friend can not be dead. He didn't deserve to die, he was too young to die. They are all too young to be going through something as traumatic as this but life has proved them constantly that they are never too young for the experience.

 

"No, no, no..." Seokjin furiously shakes his head as he hears Namjoon's sobs pick up volume. "No, Namjoon, no." He quickly stands on his feet, his knees cracking at the movement. He needs to shower, he needs to do something because if he doesn't he will start thinking. And when he does, it will dawn on him that it is real.

 

"Seokjin, open the door, please." Namjoon is a mess outside his door and Seokjin pauses for a few heart beats but he is selfish and he doesn't want to suffer. He doesn't want to acknowledge the death of their best friend.

 

He slips into his bathroom that is in his room and slips all his clothes off, heading under the hot water. The water hits his bare skin, cleaning him off of all the pain and agony he felt. Namjoon is still sobbing outside his room door but Seokjin drains him out and puts his face under the water to mask his tears that come from his closed eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

◄◄ 2 years ago

 

 

An eighteen year old Namjoon groaned in pain as he fell to the floor in an alleyway, hidden from any eyes. He coughed and quickly spit the blood onto to the floor, eyes cringed in pain. His fingers reached over to his rib where they had kicked him. He removed his jacket, bones sore and a hiss on his lips. He lifted his shirt and growled when he seen his skin was turning purple and blue from where he took the blows of their kicks. It would bruise soon and he pressed his fingers to the skin lightly, checking if any bones were broken. It hurt like a motherer but it wasn't broken and he thanked god.

 

He hadn't known he was constantly groaning in pain, his head leaned back on the brick walls of the alleyway, eyes closed. His eyes snapped open when he heard the scruff of shoes against the floor, gradually getting closer to him. His eyes darken instantly, shoulders squaring in alarm. Although his rib was hurting, a blooming bruise on his right cheek, cut lip and the taste of his own blood in his mouth, Namjoon jumped to his feet. He'll beat them to pulp for coming back, he'll them up harder than they had to him.

 

"Dude, are you alright?" Namjoon hears the sound of a boy, someone he doesn't know. It doesn't sound like the voice of the punk he got into a brawl with earlier. The alleyway is dark and Namjoon can't see the guys face.

 

Namjoon probably shouldn't have but he drops his guard and falls to his knees in pain. His rib is hurting him, it isn't broken but it sure does feel like it is. He clenches to his side and the person looks at him with alarmed eyes. Namjoon feels thin fingers grab his arm and the he's leaning on an equally thin body. They began to move and Namjoon follows, eyes drooping from pain and lack of sleep. He wants to speak and ask where the stranger is taking him but he can't, all that flies from his lips are pained whimpers.

 

 

 

 

When Namjoon opens his eyes, he's resting on a brown long couch that could easily fit five people. He's resting on his back and staring up at the ceiling. His rib aches and he instantly moves his fingers to the part of his body but that's when he notices he doesn't have a shirt on and he has a white bandage wrapped around his body, an ice bag resting on his rib.

 

He tries to sit up but someone stops him and Namjoon flinches back in alarm, scooting away from the touch. "Who the are you?" Namjoon fires out in anger.

 

"Seokjin," The stranger replies with a soft smile. He isn't the guy who found him in the alleyway, this guy's voice is different. Seokjin must have seen the confusion in Namjoon's eyes because he opens his mouth to clarify what happened. "I didn't bring you here, Jungkook did. Jungkook said he found you in the alleyway, all bruised and bloody, groaning in pain."

 

"Jungkook?" Namjoon asks and he his chapped lips. His face turns sour when he tastes the ointment on his cut lip.

 

"Jungkook, he's awake!" Seokjin yells and his voice echoes, that's when Namjoon notices they are in an abandon, run down warehouse. "You're welcome by the way." Seokjin smirks as he motions to the bandages and the ice bag.

 

"Thank you," Namjoon replies quietly, eyes roaming around the room to stop from looking at Seokjin's handsome smile and face.

 

"Oh, you're awake!" Jungkook comes flying in, another boy on his tail. "Hey, Jin hyung, can you help Yoongi hyung cook the ramen?" He asks and Seokjin instantly nods, moving over to a table that has a portable stove and a pot on top of the burning stove.

 

Namjoon sits up a bit slowly, looking around the warehouse. He sees a few things tagged on the wall, graffiti and he sees two big queen sized beds on the floor put next to one another. There are covers, clothes lingered around the bed and shoes. He blinks up when Jungkook drags a foldable chair close and sits in front of him, a smile on his lips.

 

"I'm Jungkook," He sticks out his hand for Namjoon to shake.

 

Namjoon does, a bit hesitant. "Namjoon," He replies with a cold tone of voice, guard up once again.

 

Jungkook only blinks at his tone of voice, a shrug on his shoulders. "I won't ask why I found you beaten up," He says and Namjoon's eyes widen. "It isn't any of our business, I was just trying to help."

 

"Oh, thanks." Namjoon lamely replies but he really is thankful Jungkook won't pester.

 

"The ramen's done," Yoongi calls for them with bored eyes as Seokjin frowns at him. "What?" Yoongi bites out in sarcasm, "In my defense, I've never cooked in my life-"

 

"It's ing ramen, Yoongi." Seokjin deadpans before he shakes his head and turns back to Namjoon and Jungkook. "Come eat kids."

 

Jungkook rolls his eyes and laughs at his hyungs. "Namjoon can't move. He's in pain-"

 

"Oh, yeah, why were you all bruised and bloody-" Yoongi calmly opens his mouth, a bored expression still in his eyes but he groans when Seokjin elbows him hard. He snaps eyes at the other male, "I am curious so you, Jin."

 

"I'll feed Namjoon," Seokjin ignores Yoongi and Namjoon tries not to let his heart flutter when he hears Seokjin say his name. He tries not to get even more jittery when Seokjin has replaced Jungkook in the foldable chair and holding chopsticks with ramen in front of Namjoon, a smirk on his lips.

 

"My arms aren't broken," Namjoon can't help the blush on his cheek but he tries his best to pass it off as frustration.

 

Seokjin looks at him and shrugs, smirk still there as he pushes the ramen bowl into Namjoon's hands. "Alright." He says and goes to sit next to Yoongi on the bed, their shoulders against one another as Seokjin leans in when Yoongi feeds him.

 

Namjoon tries not to glare at Yoongi.

 

"Are you interested in Seokjin hyung?" Jungkook asks, a quirk in his lips. "Don't worry, everyone knows Jimin is in love with Yoongi so Seokjin would never go for Yoongi. They're just best friends."

 

Namjoon ignores the new name in order to save himself. "No," He splutters and starts to eat his own ramen to mask his embarrassment of openly glaring at Yoongi feeding Seokjin. , he doesn't even know the guy, what the hell?

 

Jungkook only laughs, "Well, Seokjin is interested in you." He replies casually like he didn't make Namjoon's heart beat out of his chest. "So make your first move or he'll make it for you."

 

Jungkook is right though because two months later Namjoon has befriended Yoongi, Jungkook, Jimin and Seokjin. Two months later from their first encounter, Seokjin kisses him breathlessly on the couch where Namjoon once was bruised and bloody. Namjoon kisses Seokjin back and pulls the smaller male into his lap. Jimin screeches from the bed, burying his face into Yoongi's arm to avoid them as both Jungkook and Yoongi laugh to embarrass both Seokjin and Namjoon.

 

Namjoon and Seokjin become official after that and the only one really to thank for their new blossoming relationship is Jungkook.

 

 

 

 

 

 Present day ►►

 

 

Jimin sits on his bed, staring blankly at the wall, heart racing with pain. He can't cry now, he hasn't cried since that night. He can still remember, he sees it crystal clear. The memory burns the back of his eyelids when he closes them, he sees it in his dreams. He doesn't cry but there is a numb pain in him, eyes glistening with nothing in them. There is no purpose, no meaning anymore. He doesn't understand why he's the one still breathing and not his lovely dear friend. He just doesn't understand.

 

There are many questions lingering in his mind. What if he had stayed longer? What if they had not went to warehouse that night? He should have just followed his friend instead of going inside the warehouse and lecturing Hoseok and Taehyung. He should have ing comforted his friend, he should have ing followed him out and stopped him from going anywhere further. He shouldn't have turned his back on him. Jimin had a chance to change everything, it's all his ing fault. Why is he still here?

 

If Yoongi was here, he would kiss Jimin and slap some sense in to him. But even Yoongi hasn't come out of his own home. Yoongi doesn't cry but he thinks his boyfriend must be sobbing into his sheets now. Jimin wants to leave his own room and go find Yoongi and seek comfort but how dare he even try when it's all his fault? He doesn't deserve to step out of his room and live his life. He doesn't deserve to keep living when his friend is dead and it's all because of him.

 

Jimin lays on his side, curled up in his own self as he stares at his plain white wall. His parents are gone, out working like always. He needs Yoongi but he won't dare get up and find his boyfriend. They are all falling apart, they all need each other but no one dares to try to get better. How can they when their friend is dead? How can they try to move on so fast?

 

It's been one whole day since their friend, Jimin's childhood friend, was announced dead. He was in the hospital for two days, their friend was breathing on his own, fighting for his life. Until the second day when he stopped breathing and he was only breathing through the help of the machine. The machine was doing one hundred percent of the work. He was gone, he was dead, it was them who were only denying and trying to keep him alive. They were keeping him around, saying it was him who was breathing with the help of the machine. The doctor only shook his head, and with an apologetic look in his eyes, he proved them wrong when he pulled the plug.

 

Jimin felt his insides turn, his breath catching in his throat when he seen Seokjin drop to the floor first. His sob woke everyone up from their thoughts and soon it was Taehyung who dropped as well. Taehyung went crazy, shaking his friend's lifeless body, begging him to wake up. Hoseok tried his best to stop Taehyung, to calm him down but Taehyung couldn't. He couldn't calm down. Namjoon was staying strong, comforting Seokjin and kisses him behind his ear, rubbing his back but there was tears glistening in his eyes. Jimin's own eyes glistened, the pain as he stared at the dead body of his friend. He was sleeping peacefully and Jimin hated it.

 

"Jimin, it's okay." Yoongi whispered close to his ear (Jimin didn't know his whole body was shaking), placing a soft kiss there. "It's okay..." But Yoongi is wrong, it's not okay.

 

Jimin felt Yoongi's comforting hands on his waist, bringing him closer. Jimin broke down as well, bringing Yoongi to the floor with him as he sobbed. His best friend. His ing best friend was dead. He spent his whole life with him. They grew up together, they built off one another, they were practically brothers. His best friend.

 

His Jungkook was dead.

 

 

 

 

 

◄◄ 4 years ago

 

 

Jimin was sixteen when Jungkook said he meet some new people. Jungkook had been the social one between them, Jimin wasn't anti social though. He had a few friends besides Jungkook but of course, Jungkook had more.

 

Jimin only ever needed Jungkook. They grew up together, in the same neighborhood and schools. Their mother's got along well so Jimin and Jungkook knew each other since birth. When they entered their freshman year of high school, Jungkook moved away. Jungkook's dad was a drunk that beat Jungkook's mother constantly. So in order for Jungkook and his mother to be safe, they moved away. Jungkook let Jimin know where he was going and Jimin would come over all the time.

 

The neighborhood wasn't great but Jimin couldn't do anything. Jungkook was still smiling, eyes bright as he walked school like nothing was wrong. No one knew Jungkook moved, no one knew his father beat him and his mother in the past. No one knew Jungkook's father was looking for them, no one knew but Jimin. It was Jimin's job as a best friend to help his friend.

 

One day, Jungkook introduced both Yoongi and Seokjin to Jimin. Jimin was wary, apprehensive of Yoongi and Seokjin. The one named Seokjin smiled and welcomed Jimin with a beaming smile, eyes shinning as he brought Jimin into the warehouse.

 

"Is this where you guys sleep?" Jimin asked as he stared at the single queen size bed on the floor near the corner. There was a love seat not too far away. Jimin didn't mean it but his voice came out offensive and a bit rude.

 

Yoongi, who was rather quiet the whole time, squared his shoulders and looked at Jimin's eyes with a glare. "Sorry, not all of us have two loving parents that work their off to maintain us." He gritted out, crossing his arms and walking away to grab a water bottle from their stack they had.

 

Seokjin rolled his eyes at Yoongi, "Don't mind him. He's sensitive since his parent's death anniversary is coming up soon." Jimin bit his lip and looked at Jungkook with sorry eyes.

 

"It's okay, you didn't know." Jungkook smiles lightly, patting his best friend's hair. "Jimin is a good guy, hyung! He didn't mean for it to sound offensive!" Jungkook shouts as he makes his way towards Yoongi.

 

Yoongi grumbles something under his breath as he lays down on the bed in a lazy manner, bringing his phone out of his pocket. "Whatever," He mutters, bored.

 

"Yoongi's my best friend." Seokjin suddenly confessed with a small smile. "He may sound cold and mean, but really he's super mellow. You just got him at a bad time," He shrugs lightly and pats Jimin's head. "He stays here more often then Jungkook or I do, so he's a bit sensitive about our escape place."

 

Jimin hadn't known Jungkook needed an escape place. He didn't know their stories. He didn't know Seokjin or Yoongi but he hadn't meant it that way. He was just worried about the type of people his best friend, Jungkook, was hanging around with. He didn't mean to offend anyone, especially Yoongi.

 

Jimin bites his lip once again and decides to take small steps towards to the eighteen (almost nineteen) year old Yoongi. Jungkook and Yoongi lay side by side, laughing lightly at something on Yoongi's phone. Jimin stood there frozen a bit, only the soft laughter and the sound of Seokjin messing around with a skillet. Jungkook turned eyes to him then and sent him a beautiful smile and Jimin grinned back. Yoongi turned then to look at him and Jimin's breath hitched at how beautiful Yoongi looks when he isn't glaring holes at Jimin.

 

"Hey, Jungkook, come help hyung cook." Seokjin suddenly said and Jungkook nodded with a bright smile, eyes eager.

 

Jimin continued to stare at Yoongi, the latter's eyes never leaving Jimin's for a moment. Jimin's heart beat faster in his chest at Yoongi's intense (but not glaring) eyes.

 

"Are you just going to stand there?" Yoongi spoke up, voice calm and an eyebrow quirked up at Jimin. He his lips and watched the way a blush brushed on Jimin's cheeks.

 

"I- sorry," Jimin spluttered out and nervously bit his lip again, twiddling his fingers and avoiding Yoongi's eyes. "Sorry hyung." He decided to say once more because he knows for a fact Yoongi is older.

 

Yoongi's intense eyes light up then, a small smile forming on his lips. "A friend of Jungkook is a friend of mine." He said in a mellow tone, sitting up on the bed that was on the ground.

 

He reached over and catches Jimin's wrist, bringing him down to the bed on the floor. Jimin gasped and fell down face first on to the bed, beside Yoongi. His heart hammered in his chest when he turned over on his back and Yoongi scooted closer, their sides touching. Jimin's cheeks were probably red from how close Yoongi's face was. Jimin kept his eyes rooted to the ceiling of the broke down warehouse.

 

"This is funny, watch it." Yoongi whispered into his ear, his lips almost glossing of Jimin's ear as he pushed his phone into Jimin's hands.

 

Jimin remained frozen at the touch and how close Yoongi was. His heart threatening to burst out of his chest as Yoongi remained placid. "Okay," He squeaked and snatched the phone up to watch the video.

 

He didn't know Yoongi was watching besides him. Yoongi laughed once again even though he had showed Jungkook the video earlier. Jimin decided to turn and look at Yoongi then and he wish he hadn't. Yoongi didn't have his glaring eyes, or his calm face. He was smiling, eyes turned into crescents, cheeks high and gums showing. Jimin's heart stopped, eyes looking at only Yoongi. There was nothing else in the room, only the sound of Yoongi's laughter.

 

Jimin fell in love and it's all Yoongi's fault (and Jungkook's too because he brought Jimin to this broke down warehouse).

 

 

 

 

 

Present day ►► 

 

 

Hoseok wants to laugh. He's a bastard. He's disgusting, he's a ing . He's un-loyal, he's isn't a friend. He didn't mean to do it, it just happened. He really didn't mean to fall in love with Taehyung but he did and he hates himself for it everyday. There is nothing wrong with Taehyung, absolutely nothing and that is the problem. Taehyung is all smiles, beautiful brown hair and a charming personality. He's out going, wild and spontaneous and it isn't a mystery why Hoseok fell for the younger boy. Taehyung can charm the pants off of anyone.

 

Hoseok wants to puke. He's a ing bastard. He's ing disgusting. How dare he fall in love with his friend's boyfriend? How dare he make a move on his own close friend's boyfriend? He's horrible. Jimin cursed both Hoseok and Taehyung for messing around behind Jungkook's back. But it isn't Taehyung's fault, it's Hoseok's. He's the who came on to Taehyung. Jimin and Jungkook caught them at the wrong time. It isn't Taehyung's fault. He's the ing idiot for falling, it's all his ing fault.

 

Hoseok wants to punch the wall when he he slips into his bathroom. He looks in the mirror and touches his face in disgust. He can't look in his own eyes because he swears he'll see Jungkook's in them. He'll close his eyes and see the burning look of betrayal on Jungkook's face. Hoseok can't. He'll really do something bad if he does.

 

Hoseok lets a sob rip from his throat and he furiously wipes the tears away. It's been three ing days since Jungkook left this earth. It's been three days but it feels like Hoseok barely just heard the news of his friend's death. He was there when they pulled the plug along with everyone else. Jungkook's mother was sobbing, a family member escorting her out to calm her down. Taehyung dropped, shaking Jungkook, trying to get him to wake up. Hoseok had tears in his eyes and he reached over to grab Taehyung. He pulls Taehyung off of Jungkook's lifeless body, whispering soothing things but Taehyung ripped himself away from Hoseok's grasp. Taehyung gave Hoseok a look, a pained look before he sprinted out of the room.

 

Hoseok can't look at himself. The mirror is showing him how gross he is. He hates himself more everyday. Taehyung won't answer him, no one will answer their phones. Everyone is grieving, everyone is falling apart. But no one deserves to fall apart except for Hoseok. He deserves to fall, tremble and look at how disgusting he is. He deserves to suffer.

 

He touches his jaw, rubs his hand against his skin and stares for what seems like hours. He studies himself and thinks he hates himself more and more. The more he looks, the more he hates himself, does it make sense? Jungkook loved him, trusted him like a friend. Hoseok was the that betrayed Jungkook and he couldn't even say sorry. Jungkook is dead and Hoseok can't apologize and beg for his friend's forgiveness.

 

He swings his mirror aside, revealing a cabinet behind. His fingers don't shake as he grabs a bottle of pills. They aren't for him to take freely, they are prescribed. They are his father's pills he took and hid for himself. He can't deal with his own self, in his own skin. He's a betraying bastard. He quickly pops the cap off and hastily slipping two long pills in his hand. He stares at them for a second, only a second before he shoves them in his mouth. His throat won't swallow them but Hoseok forces them down. He can't deal with himself, he needs to loose himself.

 

Surely enough he does and Hoseok slips away onto his bed. He stares up at the ceiling, the numbness taking over his body as he closes his eyes to fall into a peaceful sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

◄◄ 1 ½ years ago

 

 

Hoseok has got his convenience store work shirt on. He's busy in the back stocking up some cool beverages. It's summer and kids constantly come and buy refreshing drinks so he always has to stock up when the night comes. He's half of the night shift and the someone else comes in and takes the rest of the night. Jungkook takes half of the day, he's usually always the one working before Hoseok takes over. He's a sweet kid. Jungkook is only seventeen and half (his birthday the first day of September, Hoseok never forgets). 

 

Jungkook is a good dongsaeng, he's nice, caring, attentive and sweet. He knows a lot about the real world for his age. He tries his best to smile through all the hardships but Hoseok knows one day he will crack. He will be there for Jungkook when he does, he'll help. Jungkook has helped Hoseok constantly. Whenever those punk thugs wanted to kill Hoseok, Jungkook hid him well and even took a beaten for him. Hoseok was hidden in the back of the store, the storage and he gripped the railing as he heard the groan of Jungkook being punched in the face. Hoseok nursed him better, he tried his best to do everything for Jungkook.

 

Hoseok would return the favor when Jungkook's father would come along drunk and claim he knew his son was working here. Hoseok would hide Jungkook, square his shoulders and glare at the man. He would yell, shout at Jungkook's father to get the hell out. There was one incident when the drunk man raised a beer bottle and knocked it against Hoseok's head. Hoseok had fell to the ground, blood along his temple and his hair matted down from his own blood. Jungkook's drunk father left and Jungkook emerged, guilt on his features, and quickly took Hoseok to the hospital (letting their boss know).

 

Hoseok was okay but he did get stitches. They became amazingly good friends from then on. Hoseok didn't intrude in Jungkook's life unless it revovled around work. They didn't question why thugs were looking for Hoseok or why Jungkook's father was looking for him. Hoseok didn't ask about Jungkook's friends, he didn't ask about Hoseok's. Still, they were friends, great friends. Hoseok trusted Jungkook on a level he could never with others. Jungkook was a wonderful friend and dongsaeng. Hoseok was thankful.

 

 

 

 

Hoseok plugs in one earphone in his ear and listens to the blasting sound of hip pop ring in his ear. He doesn't hear the chime of the bell that means a costumer has come in. He finishes stalking up the last can of coffee when he turns around, a whistle on his lips and harshly collides with someone. Their foreheads bumps and they both groan in pain. The intruder seems to fall back because he grabs Hoseok's work shirt and tugs to save himself from falling. In the end, it brings Hoseok to the ground as well. Hoseok lands on top of the person's body, eyes shut tight waiting for the pain that never comes.

 

When Hoseok opens his eyes, in that moment the other guy's eyes fly open as well. Hoseok's nose is brushing the other person's nose as well. "Ow," The person below Hoseok groans.

 

Hoseok remains rooted to his spot, frozen as he stares into brown eyes. The male below him doesn't seem to move, only stare back at Hoseok. The guy below him moves just a bit and their noses brush against one another even more. The grip the guy has on Hoseok's shirt tightens and Hoseok can feel the person's heart beat faster. He knows his is beating out of his chest right now.

 

They stare for ten long seconds before Hoseok snaps out of his and quickly stands. He brushes himself off and looks sheepishly at the boy. "Sorry," Hoseok mumbles in embarrassment.

 

The guy lays still for a few lingering heart beats before he jumps to his feet and laughs lightly. "It was my fault, sorry." He blushes and that is when Hoseok notices his tousled brown hair, a blooming bruise on his cheekbone and a cut lip.

 

", are you alright?" Hoseok asks suddenly, motioning to the way the male is beat up.

 

The brown haired boy only shrugs and laughs dumbly, eyes disappearing. "I'm alright!" He beams and he goes down to pick up Hoseok's phone that is still blasting music through the headphones.

 

"Thanks," Hoseok smiles lightly as he takes the phone and slips one ear bud in.

 

The brown haired boy seems to know the song because he comes closer and plucks the other headphone from Hoseok's fingers. Hoseok's eyes widen and he watches as the boy slips the other headphone bud in his ear and bobs his head to the music. Hoseok can only watch as the boy closes his eyes and feels the music. It's Hoseok's favorite song and he can hear it blaring in his left ear as he watches the boy hold the headphone bud to his right ear.

 

"This is my favorite song," The bruised boy says with a delighted smile, teeth showing and brightening up Hoseok's day.

 

Hoseok his dry lips, heart hammering. He opens his mouth to speak but then Jungkook emerges from the back, work shirt off and a small smile on his lips. "Taehyung!" He beams.

 

"Jungkook!" Taehyung's smile gets bigger as he drops the headphone bud and skips over to the younger male. Hoseok's heart is fluttering, butterflies in his stomach as he watches Taehyung fly away.

 

They talk for a bit and Hoseok watches with curious eyes. Jungkook frowns at Taehyung's bruises and lightly caress the boy's skin. Taehyung flinches just a bit but laughs anyway and playfully bats Jungkook's concerned touches.

 

Jungkook turns to Hoseok then, a smile on his lips. "Oh, hyung!" He is shinning brightly as he locks fingers with Taehyung and brings him closer to Hoseok. "This is Taehyung, Taehyung this is my friend Hoseok."

 

"Nice to meet you," Taehyung beams and Hoseok almost blushes. Hoseok thinks Taehyung stole his heart.

 

"Hobbi hyung, Taehyung is my boyfriend I'm always talking about!" Jungkook smiles.

 

Hoseok hates himself for falling for Jungkook's boyfriend, Taehyung.

 

 

 

 

 

Present Day ►►

 

 

604,800 seconds. 10,080 minutes. 168 hours. 7 days. 1 week. One ing week and Yoongi knows he's ed up.

 

He wants to scream, pull his hair, trash his small rooftop home. He wants to burn everything and watch the flames engulf all it can. He wants to breathe in the smoke, let his choke him until he has to force it all out. He wants to fall, burn his knees to the ground and let it all out. He wants to feel the heat, the ing fire on his pale skin. Jungkook suffered when he died, Yoongi wants to feel the same pain.

 

He's the oldest of their group of friends. He's suppose to protect each and every one of them. Seokjin is the natural mother, making sure everyone is fed and has money in their back pocket. But Yoongi is suppose to keep them away from trouble, he's suppose to make sure they don't end up in jail or dead. He wants to scream because here he is, here they are, suffering because their youngest friend is gone. He's just a memory, a beautiful memory that burns their heart and soul.

 

Jungkook is the flame that burned them all. He keeps burning them, even after he's gone. He's all Yoongi ever thinks about these days. Jungkook is the reason they are going through hell but does it make sense that Jungkook was once their heaven? He's a good kid, a sweet kid. He's the reason Yoongi quit the game, he made Yoongi stop getting involved with drugs. Seokjin is Yoongi's best friend but in the end it was Jungkook that forced Yoongi to stop. Jungkook, that ing kid, helped Yoongi evolve with his smile and his promising words. Jungkook is Yoongi's heaven, he's Yoongi's angel. But now Jungkook is a flame, a burning memory. Is Yoongi ed up now?

 

He's back at it again and he bets Namjoon is too. He's got a smoke in between his index and middle finger. He's sitting on the edge of his bed, pink hair flying in all directions. His eyes are lifeless as he stares at the ground. His lips curl up a bit, a smirk on his lips as he thinks about Jungkook's beautiful personality. He brings the cigarette close to his lips and inhales, the burning smoke in his lungs and releases slowly.

 

Jimin. He needs Jimin. The younger male won't step out of his home but Yoongi doesn't bother because he knows Jungkook and Jimin had a great relationship. They were best friends, knew everything about one another, finished each other's sentences. Jimin and Jungkook remind him of his relationship with Seokjin. He would die if something happened to Seokjin. Yoongi's scared Jimin might do something to himself but Yoongi can't bring himself to leave his own home.

 

Yoongi shuts his eyes and lifts up the lighter. He's got a photo in his hand, a photo of all seven of them. The photo is recent, only two weeks old. It was week before they knew their dead friend Jungkook wasn't going to be around anymore. Yoongi yells then, a loud scream falls from his lips and he hits his chest. His face turns to one in pain and he feels the tears come down his cheeks rapidly.

 

Yoongi doesn't cry but he's sobbing now.

 

He presses the lighter, flicks it to life and watches the flame. He's heaving heavily, tear stained cheeks and a glare in his eyes. Life isn't fair to the good, he muses darkly to himself. He lets the flame hit the edge of the photo, the image burning up slowly. Before the fire can reach his fingers, Yoongi throws the burning photo to the corner of his room. He watches the flames spread on a curtain, the fire growing quickly. He should be afraid but he isn't. Jungkook was in pain on his last breath, Yoongi will be the same.

 

He leans back on his bed, cigarette between his lips as he lays flat on his back. He pulls the cigarette away and exhales. He smells the smoke, filling his lungs and sneaking around his neck to choke him unconscious. He can see the fire spread faster from the corner of his eyes. Is it selfish to want to be saved before he burns to death?

 

Yoongi only smiles, staring up at his ceiling- staring up at heaven where his angel, Jungkook, is.

 

 

 

 

 

◄◄ 3 years ago

 

 

 

"What is this?" Jimin frowns, eyebrows furrowed as he lays on the bed. He's holding a plastic bag in his hand, white substance inside. "Yoongi?" He asks in a confused manner.

 

Yoongi wants to punch himself, Jimin is so innocent. His Jimin doesn't know the real him and Yoongi thinks it's too soon to reveal himself. They've only been dating for two months but they've known each other for about a year now. Still, Yoongi has chose to hide himself from Jimin. Jimin is a good kid, a smart one and one that can go far. So is Jungkook but the younger boy has known Yoongi long enough, he knows the real Yoongi.

 

Yoongi snatches the plastic bag from Jimin's curious hands and gaze. He frowns and stuffs it back into his bag, "Nothing." He mutters under his breath, zipping his black back pack up.

 

"Don't tell me," Jimin shook his head and looked at Yoongi with pleading eyes. "Hyung you aren't... they're not yours... right?" Even though Jimin trusts Yoongi, he can't help the sound of doubt in his voice.

 

Yoongi sighs, runs frustrated fingers through his hair and clicks his tongue. "They aren't mine." He says slowly, eyes turning to look at the warehouse instead.

 

Jimin's eyes turn into glares then. Yoongi has never seen him so angry, Jimin is always smiling and laughing like Jungkook. "What the hell are they doing in your bag for?" He snaps.

 

Yoongi bites his lip, "I don't know, Jimin. Can you just ing drop it-"

 

Jimin marches up to Yoongi and pushes him slightly back. Yoongi stumbles back and Jimin snatches his back pack up, fingers angrily ping it open. Jimin turns the back pack upside down and out falls all the weed, pills, , cigars. Jimin stares long at hard for a minute, eyes red with anger when he looks back up at Yoongi.

 

"Do you know what could happen to you?" He snaps but his voice is pleading. He walks up to Yoongi and takes his face in his hands, tears glistening. "Hyung, you could die. Hyung, you've got to stop-"

 

"Leave," Yoongi says rather coldly. "Jimin, you don't know me, leave me now." He says and he forcefully pushes the younger male away. "ing leave, Park Jimin!" He shouts angrily as he begins to pick up the drugs.

 

Jimin stares at him for a few seconds before he grabs his phone and shoes and leaves the warehouse, not looking back. Yoongi wishes he would have fought and stayed with him.

 

 

 

 

"Jimin told me what happened." Jungkook says as he lays down on the bed besides Yoongi. "He's angry at me too because I knew."

 

Yoongi hums and messes around with his phone. "Jimin won't answer my calls. If you see him around, tell him I said we're over." He shrugs his shoulders, a calm mode on even though his heart is hurting.

 

Jungkook sighs and snatches Yoongi's phone from his hands. "Hyung, listen to me." His voice is serious and Yoongi's never heard him like this before. "You can't die, hyung. This your doing is ing you up. Two weeks ago, you were beat up because a buyer was angry at the cost. You're a supplier and that is a dangerous job. You're constantly on the market to get beat up, robbed, thrown in jail or worse, killed."

 

"Are you here to lecture me?" Yoongi grits, eyes glaring at Jungkook.

 

The younger male sighs. "You're my favorite hyung." He mentions. "You're Seokjin's best friend, your Jimin's boyfriend and you're one of my best friends. We need you, hyung. You make Jimin smile like I never could, you make Seokjin angry but , he loves you. I love you, hyung." He sighs, "We don't want to visit your tombstone, we're afraid we might."

 

Yoongi stays silent so Jungkook continues. "You helped me. You've guided me in the right directions before. It's my turn now. Hyung, you've got to stop. I know you're using them, the drugs. You could overdose one day or you could be killed. Their is only two options down that road, jail or death. Don't you want to live a long and happy life with Jimin?" Jungkook asked, tears down his face and it broke Yoongi's facade.

 

Yoongi reached over and brought Jungkook closer. He placed the younger boy's head on his shoulder and patted his back lightly. "I... I promise to stop." Yoongi replied. "It will take some time but I promise I'll drop the job and stop using drugs."

 

Jungkook pressed himself closer to Yoongi. "We'll all help you, hyung."

 

Yoongi remained silent for a while, only patting the back of Jungkook's head. "Hey, Jungkookie?"

 

"Hmm?"

 

"Thank you. I love you guys too."

 

 

 

 

 

Present Day ►►

 

 

Taehyung is staring at bleeding hands, with dull eyes and a grey mood. He's bleeding. There is blood sliding down his wrist, drops gliding down his fingers to the floor of his bathroom. He's bleeding but where is Jungkook?

 

Taehyung remembers the first time he's was all bruised and bloody. He remembers how Jungkook and he instantly clicked. Jungkook, even though he was younger than all of them, would take such good care of them. Not just Taehyung, but all of them. Jungkook would watch all them, smile and beam. He was the Golden Maknae, he was their sun. They revolved around Jungkook because in reality, their group of friends wouldn't be so big if it wasn't for Jungkook. The boy brought them all together, he brought Taehyung happiness. In the end, it was Taehyung who ed Jungkook over. He was so ungrateful.

 

He's sorry, he really is. He feels like his heart might stop. He feels like harming himself, throwing things, dying. It make sense right? He fell in love with Hoseok when he shouldn't have. He's an right? Jungkook, if he was here, he would only smile and say it's okay but he isn't. He isn't here and it's all Taehyung's ing fault. He didn't watch Jungkook close enough. He was too busy dancing around with Hoseok. Hoseok is to blame but Taehyung deserves the punishment.

 

He should have ended things with Jungkook when he knew he and Hoseok were getting rather suggestive. But Taehyung couldn't bring himself to break Jungkook's heart. He really couldn't because Jungkook was the reason Taehyung had such amazing friends. Taehyung is ungrateful, he's an idiot who let his feelings get the best of him. No one should be tearing themselves apart except for Taehyung. He lead Jungkook to death. He's the one who ed around with Hoseok on purpose.

 

"You killed him, Taehyung." He says to himself as he presses the blade to his wrist, slicing a line across on his right wrist. He has two cuts, one on his left wrist and the other on his right wrist. "It's all your fault."

 

It is his fault. Everything is Taehyung's fault.

 

He stares at his wrists, the blood flowing down to his hands, sliding down fingertips and onto the floor. He can hear the banging of his mother's fist on his door but Taehyung ignores it. He laughs lightly and watches his blood with a heavy look in his eyes. This is nothing compared to the pain Jungkook felt, Taehyung is a bastard.

 

In the end, it's always Taehyung with the blood in his hands.

 

 

 

 

 

◄◄ 1 year and 2 months ago

 

 

"You're coming over to the warehouse right? Everyone is here already." Jungkook's voice rings through Taehyung's ear when he presses the phone to his ear.

 

"Yeah, of course. My mom just needed me to get some milk from the convenience store." He hummed with a small smile, "Let me just drop off the milk and I'll head there."

 

"Come quick," Jungkook grinned and few shouts of laughter could be heard the background. "Hurry, Hoseok and Yoongi are making fun of Namjoon's and Seokjin's relationship again."

 

Taehyung snorted. "What is Jimin doing?" He asks as he turns the corner of his neighborhood.

 

"Trying to get Yoongi's attention like always," Jungkook says and Taehyung can literally hear his eyes roll. "Taehyung... I miss you." He says lowly, bashfully.

 

Taehyung smiles, teeth showing as he opens the door of his home. "I miss you too-" He gets cut off by the owful sound of his mother's pained screams and his father's gruff voice.

 

"," Taehyung drops his phone, ignoring Jungkook's worried shouts. He quickly runs all the way into his mother's room and watches the scene play out before him.

 

His mother is on the floor, tears in her eyes and a shout on her lips. His father has fingers threaded through her hair, gripping her still. She's on her knees, begging for him to stop and let her go but his father won't listen. She has a cut lip, a black eye and bloody knuckles. His father raises his hand and lands a hard slap across her cheek that forces her face in a different direction. He releases her hair and she falls to the floor in sobs.

 

"What the hell is this ?!" His father yells in an angry tone, index finger pointing at bags that are by the entrance of his mother's bed room.

 

Taehyung looks down and sees his bags and his mother's. She wanted them to run away but she got caught.

 

He watches his father raise his hand again, his mother instantly shielding herself and Taehyung loses it. He sprints towards his father and pushes the man back until he hits the window behind him with a loud thud. His father catches himself and raises his hand, a heavy slap landing across Taehyung's face. The boy falls to the floor besides his mother. Her shaking fingers come to grab Taehyung but then his father raises his leg to kick them and Taehyung shields his mother from the blows. He groans when the point of his father's shoes hit his spine, but he holds his mother close and protects her.

 

He's in pain when his father rips him away from his mother. He grabs her wrist and pulls her to her feet, slapping her once again. Taehyung jumps to his feet, hands going to the grocery's he bought. He had bought himself a can of soda; he uses it to hit his father. He pushes his mother away and raises his hand, hitting the top of his father's forehead. His father stumbles and Taehyung jumps on him, beating the man's head rapidly with the hard can of soda. The can dents with every hit but Taehyung doesn't stop until his father has fell unconscious, blood on his hands and a busted can of soda.

 

His mother is sobbing the corner and Taehyung gets off his father, eyes shocked and hands trembling. He watches his father's still body, dropping the can and the soda bursting open on the floor. He takes slow steps back until he hits the wall and he falls to floor, tears springing out of his eyes and a cry on his lips. He reaches up to wipe his eyes, blood splattered on his neck and on his hands.

 

Jungkook finds him trembling with blood on his hands. He examines the scene and is instantly at Taehyung's side. He rips Taehyung's hands from his face and forces the latter to look at him in the eyes. "It isn't your fault hyung, it was self defense."

 

Taehyung is crying and Jungkook cups his face with both hands. "Listen to me, Taehyung. You were defending your mother and yourself. If you didn't, he would have killed you. It's okay."

 

Taehyung's sobs only grow louder. Jungkook takes him in his arms and kisses his temple to comfort him. The rest of their friends come filling in and Seokjin comforts Taehyung's mother while Yoongi check his father's pulse. He's still alive but unconscious. Jimin calls the ambulance and the police but he promises everything will be okay, Taehyung will be okay. Hoseok takes his other side and combs his fingers through his hair while he buried his face into Jungkook's neck.

 

"It's okay, Taehyung. We're all here for you," Jungkook soothed as he kissed the top of Taehyung's head. "I'll always be here for you."

 

 

 

 

 

Present Day ►►

 

 

Yoongi gets released from the hospital, he trapped there for a few days before they let him go. He had breathed in too much smoke, the side of his leg has a burn mark but other than that he's alright. The doctors said he should be thankful, this is a rare occasion. Yoongi got lucky with death.

 

They gives him pills for his depression. Yoongi spoke out that he intended to burn his home with him inside. His friend had just died two weeks ago and he couldn't handle the news. He wanted to experience the same pain, how Jungkook was feeling on his last breath of air. The doctors shook their heads and gave him the depression pills and told him it's not the end of the world. People die and live everyday, he shouldn't kill himself. They tell him, "Don't you think your friend, Jungkook, would want you alive?" They're right. Jungkook told him he didn't want to see Yoongi dead, he didn't want to see Yoongi in jail.

 

It takes the burn mark on the side of his leg, his rooftop home in ashes till Yoongi wakes up from his depression. He isn't the first one, it's Namjoon. The other boy came to get Yoongi from the hospital with a smile (that was a grimace) on his lips. Namjoon slung an arm around Yoongi's shoulders as they walked away from the hospital, towards the warehouse.

 

"You can't die..." Namjoon suddenly said after a long silence, "I know it hurts but... Jungkook isn't coming back. I think... I think I've come to terms with it." He sighs and pulls out a cigarette to light up, he hands one to Yoongi as well.

 

"I realized that Jungkook wouldn't want any of us falling apart because of him." Yoongi shook his head and grabbed the lighter, lighting up his smoke. "He was the glue, he brought us all together."

 

Namjoon looked deep in thought when he loud out a puff of smoke. "He was..." He said slowly as they continued to walk. "But we aren't letting him rest in peace. We're all harming each other and ourselves."

 

"How's Jin?" Yoongi bit his lip, he hasn't checked up on his best friend or Jimin. They need one another, they shouldn't aviod each other. "Have you seen, Jimin?"

 

"Hyung is getting there," Namjoon sighed and jumped over to cross the railroad tracks with Yoongi. He fixed at his plain black sweater, flicking the hood on. "I tried to check on everyone but Taehyung is missing, Jimin has locked himself in the room and Hoseok... I don't know."

 

Yoongi's eyes snapped up at Namjoon, "Taehyung is missing?"

 

"Not 'missing' but he does go out a lot at night," Namjoon sighed and pushed the warehouse doors open. "I stepped in front of a car, three days ago." He mentions as he heads straight for the long couch.

 

Yoongi didn't say anything and followed Namjoon to the couch. "I think that's when I realized I was being stupid. I wanted to see Jungkook again but when the car swerved, I felt relieved. I didn't want to die but I kept saying Jungkook's name in vain. We're blaming ourselves but in the end, we're harming ourselves because of Jungkook. It's like we're blaming him."

 

Yoongi nodded and dunked his cigarette into the ash tray near by. "Yeah, I agree."

 

"We have to help the others," Namjoon said seriously. "It hurts watching Seokjin fall apart like that and I know it will hurt if Taehyung, Hoseok or Jimin do something to themselves."

 

"You're right, Namjoon." Yoongi sighed and ran fingers through his pink hair.

 

"We have to make things right, not for us, but for our Jungkook."

 

 

 

 

 

◄◄ 10 months ago

 

 

"Hyung, they were on sale!" Jungkook laughed as he shoved the fireworks into Seokjin's hands. "Let's light them up later with the guys, yeah?"

 

Seokjin frowned and stared long and hard at the fireworks, "You could kill yourself with these. You could light the warehouse on fire, knowing you guys one of you will get harmed." He pushed the fireworks into Jungkook's grabby hands.

 

"I say we light them up!" Hoseok beamed, an excited move in his step as he walked over to Jungkook to examine the fireworks.

 

"I say you sit down, you are most likely to hurt yourself." Seokjin narrowed his eyes at Hoseok as he went to go take a seat on the couch.

 

Hoseok frowned, "No, that's Taehyung."

 

"You and Taehyung," Both Jungkook and Seokjin said in union and Hoseok frowned before walking over to lay on the bed with said male.

 

"Jin, let's just light them up." Namjoon said as he walked in with Yoongi and Jimin on his tail. He made his way towards Seokjin and placed a sweet kiss on his lips in place for a hello. "Everything will be okay. Don't worry, we'll drive a few hours away in the open so no one will burn anything." He raised his hands that had car keys in them.

 

"Who's car did you take?" Seokjin raised an eyebrow at Namjoon in question (and suspicion).

 

"Jimin's dad's car," Namjoon shrugged. "Come on, babe, I swear everything will be alright."

 

"If something happens to them, I'm blaming you, Namjoon." Seokjin warned but his sigh of defeat gave him away. Namjoon smiled and kissed Seokjin's cheek which annoyed the older male even more. "Guys, grab the fireworks and some food, we're leaving!"

 

 

 

"Jungkook keep the sparklers as far away from your face as possible," Seokjin warned as he seen Jungkook light it up. "Hoseok and Taehyung, you too!"

 

Yoongi was setting up fireworks along the floor in order with Jimin. No one bothered them because they were talking and smiling at one another, everyone can tell they were obviously flirting circles around each other. Constantly trying to impress one another, constantly cooing at each other even though Yoongi claims he does no such thing (which is complete bull because when Jimin is around, everyone sees hearts in Yoongi's eyes). Seokjin is happy for his best friend, Yoongi needed someone else in his heart other than Jungkook and him.

 

Namjoon comes over and places a sweet kiss to Seokjin's cheek, "Look, it looks beautiful." He whispers close to his ear as he points to Jungkook, Taehyung and Hoseok dancing around with sparklers in their hands.

 

Seokjin nods, a pleasant look in his eyes. "Yeah..." He agrees and when Yoongi gives a triumph yell, they stay a safe distance away from the fireworks that are planted on the ground.

 

All six of them huddle close to one another in a row as they pass down bags of chips and drinks for everyone. Hoseok starts a countdown and everyone joins in a loud tone, Taehyung and Jimin screeching the numbers all the way down to one. Until finally, the fireworks sizzle and then sprint upwards to life, sky rocketing towards the sky. They all watch in awe as the fireworks bursts into colors, like beautiful, lively sprinkles falling from the sky. White, yellow, pruple, blue, green - all the colors cloud their visions as they watch the parade in the sky.

 

They're all smiling, laughing and talking as they watch the show. They forget their problems, their lives for a moment as they live in the moment and watch the colorful sky paints dreams and hopes for them. They light up more fireworks and watch and watch until there isn't any more to look at. Although they're out, they still light up sparklers and laugh and dance. Everything is paused, all their worries on hold and it's just a couple of guys hanging out with their best friends at night. They're just a couple of boys who are enjoying their freedom in one another's companies. They're just a family, brotherhood shaped at it's finest. They're just brothers having a wonderful time.

 

Jungkook gets up and heads straight for the trunk of the car. Everyone waits and talks as they maknae makes his way back with an acoustic guitar. Seokjin and Jimin instantly go to clearing their throats as both Yoongi and Namjoon laugh. When Jungkook starts strumming a similar tune and opening the song with his soft beautiful voice, they all listen with a proud smile. Taehyung joins in on his verses, matching the lovely tune to the younger's voice. Then Seokjin joins in and it doesn't take long before Jimin is singing along as well. Their vocals are perfect together, matching each other's rhythms and patching one another's holes where they lack. Hoseok, Yoongi and Namjoon get closer to one another, sparklers in one hand as they wave their hands side to side to embarrass the vocal line. But it isn't long before Yoongi's rap solo comes in and he's spitting rhythms to the acoustic music with so much feeling. Hoseok does the same, rapping like it's all he knows, eyes closed as he feels. Namjoon isn't any different, his empty hand moving back and forth as he raps, eyes sparkling.

 

And this is something they will all remember, even when they're old and forget everything. They will always remember driving out at night, popping fireworks, singing some music and watching the stars on the floor together. All six of them, beaming and laughing like there is no problems or troubles. It's a wonderful memory, a beautifully, bitter sweet memory.

 

 

 

 

 

Present day ►►

 

 

Hoseok sees everything blurry. Things are flashing, his vision is playing tricks on him and he feels himself break into a cold sweat. He needs to leave, get out or he'll lose his mind some more and he doesn't want to.

 

He manages to slip on a long brown cardigan, black clothing on just like his soul as he leaves his home. His mother is out, working but Hoseok wishes she would stay and fix him but then again, Hoseok wants to suffer. Horrible isn't? Isn't Hoseok just horrible? He is, he's so ing horrible it makes him want to violently strangle himself breathless. He wants to see black, pitch black and he wants to see Jungkook smiling again. Isn't he selfish? He wants to see his dead best friend smiling when he was the cause of the smile stopping.

 

It's been three weeks since Jungkook's death and Hoseok hates himself more and more everyday. He's taken three pills today (he's usually down with one) but he thinks he really needs it because Namjoon and Yoongi keeping calling and asking where he is. He isn't ready, it hasn't been a month yet, how can they be ready? How can they be ready to see him, a heartless, un-loyal bastard like him? Hoseok isn't ready to accept it.

 

He hasn't eaten in two days and he's usually always out trying to clear his mind. He's walking along the side walk of the freeway, hot sun burning down at his skin and he feels like he's drying but he's not sure. The three pills he took don't help him hate himself any less but they do him up mentally. He sees everything in fours, shaky steps as he keeps walking. He's sweating and he looks down momentarily and he almost tips over on to the street. Cars keeping honking at him when he gets too close but all Hoseok feels is his hatred for himself and the bile coming up from his throat.

 

When he looks up, vision still blurry and high on the pills, his breath hitches. He swears he sees Jungkook not to far away and Hoseok's blurry vision worsens when tears appear. "Jungkook... Jungkook..." Hoseok can't help the broken whimper in his voice.

 

Jungkook frowns at him and Hoseok feels like dying then and there. Jungkook hates him, he knew it, Hoseok hates himself for causing that smile to fall. "What are you doing to yourself, hyung?" He asks.

 

Hoseok takes timid steps forward, "I'm sorry, Jungkook. Hyung is so sorry for everything..." He begs, sobs ripping from his throat and streams of tears falling. "Please don't hate me, I hate himself-"

 

"Why? Did you do something wrong?" Jungkook asks as he reaches out to wipe Hoseok's tears and the older male chokes and sobs harder at the realistic touch. Has he gone crazy? Jungkook is dead but he's here - with Hoseok. He's hallucinating... right?

 

"I.. loved Taehyung when... when you two were together. I went after him even though I knew you two were dating. I... I'm such a up, Jungkook, and I'm still selfish enough to ask you not to hate me." He begged, fingers gripping Jungkook's hand.

 

The maknae laughs lightly, a small smile on his face as he fondly reaches over and pats Hoseok's bowed head. "Hyung, I don't hate you. I don't hate any of you so stop killing yourself over this." He assures.

 

Hoseok rapidly shakes his head, "I should have died, not you. It's all my ing fault and I'm so sorry-"

 

Jungkook sighs and threads fingers through Hoseok's hair. "It's no one's fault, it was just my time, hyung. Hyung..." He pauses, his dry lips and smiles at Hoseok. "Please take care of Taehyungie. He loves you, please take care of him."

 

"No," Hoseok desperately cries when Jungkook begins to slip from his grasp. "No, no, Jungkook, please don't leave me. Please don't leave us!" He cries harder but Jungkook is already walking away, down the side walk with a small assuring smile.

 

Hoseok chases after him but his head is spinning and his blurry vision is clouding his thoughts. He sees flashing white, the sun breaking him down and burning him whole. He gasps and clenches his pained heart but he tries to keep walking towards a retreating Jungkook. He tries to call out for the younger boy but the words won't come out from his mouth and all Hoseok does his whimper. He pounds at his heart, eyes slowly closing but feet still moving. Jungkook turns around then and smiles peacefully, a small tiny wave and Hoseok breaks. He drops to completely to the side walk, eyes slowly drooping but he's fighting it. He tries to grab at his phone but he just can't and he gives up at some point. He slowly lets his eyes close and lets the dark welcome him as he falls into a deep, peaceful sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

◄◄ 3 months ago

 

 

"No," Taehyung playfully pushes at Hoseok with a smile that speaks to the latter's heart, pulling at the strings.

 

"Yes," Hoseok playfully pushes him back as well and maybe they should have stopped it there because the flirty was getting out of control but Hoseok couldn't help how much he loved Taehyung.

 

The younger male snorted and leaned up to brush some loose strands away from Hoseok's forehead. His fingers brushed against Hoseok's forehead, fingers sliding down the side of his face, and light fingers skipping down Hoseok's lips.

 

"No..." Taehyung's eyes are intense as they look at Hoseok's inviting lips. "No," He says harshly to himself and Hoseok knows they're no longer talking about who going to throw out the trash at the warehouse.

 

"No..." Hoseok agrees but he doesn't remove Taehyung's fingers from his face and lips.

 

Taehyung's soft yet intense eyes flicker up at Hoseok. "I can't... I could never do this to Jungkook." He says but it sounds like he's trying to teach himself that.

 

Hoseok nods with sincere thoughts in his mind. He and Taehyung have never done anything except leave lingering touches and playfully flirt around one another. However, they drawl the line between kissing or or anything along those lines. Jungkook is their best friend, Jungkook is Taehyung's boyfriend. Taehyung can't cheat on Jungkook and Hoseok doesn't ask him to. Flirting is as far as they'll ever get, Hoseok should step away.

 

"I'm... I'll just take out the trash." Hoseok trails off as he grabs Taehyung's hand and removes his warm touch from his face and lips. Though his fingers linger just an extra moment, he hates himself for it.

 

Taehyung nods and takes a step back, clears his throat and rubs his neck in a bashful manner. "I'm... just... I'll just go over there." He mumbles to himself but Hoseok nods and watches the younger male stride away with a sigh on his beautiful lips.

 

 

 

 

"Is something wrong with Taehyung?" Jungkook frowns as he walks over to sit with Hoseok. "He seems a bit sad and I can't figure out why."

 

"Oh, I don't know..." Hoseok shurgs, eyes gluing themselves back to his phone to try to distract himself.

 

"He was with you earlier..." Jungkook mentioned, "Did something happen?"

 

"What do you mean?" Hoseok stammered out, eyes widen and heart hammering in his chest.

 

"Like... did he tell you something happened?"

 

"No," Hoseok answers truthfully because they hadn't really talked about any of their problems. He was being honest there at least.

 

Jungkook nods and it's quite for a moment before he speaks again, "You like Taehyung, right?" He asks and when Hoseok snaps his head up, he sees the younger's straight face.

 

"What?" Hoseok freezes at the question.

 

Jungkook looks into Hoseok's widen eyes, face placid before he breaks out into a smile. "As a friend, you like him right?" He asks, worried eyes shinning and soft smile.

 

Hoseok pauses, blinks away his fear and nods. "Of course I do."

 

"Maybe you two should hang out more, sometimes you guys are awkward around one another-"

 

"No, I'm fine." Hoseok shakes his head, a small smile on his lips.

 

"Really?" Jungkook asks, eyes staring back at Hoseok and his teeth sinking into his bottom lip in anticipation to Hoseok's answer.

 

"Really," The latter assures. "Let's just... help the other's cook the meat and stuff, yeah?"

 

"Sure, hyung."

 

 

 

 

 

Present Day ►►

 

 

Jimin slips into his bath- muscle shirt on and white briefs- with a pained face. He lays still in the water for a few seconds, the cold water freezing his skin and causing him to shiver but he won't come out. He needs to feel numb, he needs to do at least just that.

 

Somewhere between the angry tears he's producing and the constant chatter of his teeth, Jimin slips under the water. He stays still, eyes closed and body freezing everywhere. He isn't sure how long he'll stay here, but the water is still running. He chose to let the water run, not twisting the knob to turn it off because he wants to drown in all his sorrow. He wants to bury himself under the water but he's scared. Is he selfish?

 

The day of Jungkook's death haunts him, everyday, every night, every morning. He didn't mean for it to open like that but it did and Jimin is so sorry towards the Jungkook. If he could just rewind time, Jimin wouldn't have left him. He would have stayed and prevented Jungkook from parting from his sight. But they argued, Jungkook wasn't listen and Jimin grew frustrated more as time passed by. If he knew that was going to be the last time he'd ever seen Jungkook, Jimin would have stopped him from ever leaving. Jimin would have saved him. Jimin would have done everything in his power to prevent. It's his fault.

 

He tries to breath under water, the bubbling coming out of his nose and mouth but he can't. He opens his eyes, and sees the water, his ceiling of his bathroom. He wants to breath air, not water but he doesn't think he deserves to live. He wants to drown but he's afraid. He internally struggles with himself before he finally fights the urge and resurfaces. He jumps up from the water and gasps, tears spilling and lungs clouded as he coughs. He's freezing but it's his own fault. He's greedy when he breathes in oxygen, pumping his lungs that were closing in on him.

 

He stands, the water dripping from his hair and clothes as he tries to get out of the tub. He misses and step and slips, falling out of the tub and onto the floor, knocking his head against the tub. He sits up, leans his head against the tub and clenches to his temple in pain. He clamps his eyes shut tight, vivid images of the day Jungkook died behind his eyelids. He gasps again, lets his eyes fly open and begins to shiver. The water is spilling out from the tub and onto the floor but Jimin is frozen still. He's shaking, fingers twitching and eyes blinking back tears as the water floods his floor.

 

He killed Jungkook, he shouldn't have turned his back on him.

 

There is banging at his door but Jimin remains still, eyes staring straight ahead at the wall in thought. He feels numb, the warmth gone from his body. His head pounds and Jimin must be going crazy because he hears Jungkook's voice in his hear. He's shivering, shaking from the shock and he wants to break down and sob and beg for life to be fair.

 

He doesn't know how the person does it, but someone opens the door. He doesn't turn to look at the person but he knows that voice, it's Yoongi. That's how Yoongi finds Jimin, lips blue from the cold and skin pale, tears down his cheek. He's leaning his head against his tub, the water overflowing onto the floor as he shakes and trembles. It's a scary sight, Yoongi's heart breaks as he sees his boyfriend so broken. He vows to never go through this again. He vows to protect Jimin, to make sure the younger boy is never breaking so bad like this.

 

"It's okay, baby..." Yoongi is instantly there, arms around Jimin as he takes him in his arms. He runs his fingers through Jimin's hair, he doesn't care that he's getting wet because Jimin needs him.

 

"Yoongi..." Jimin gasps back, needy fingers going to grip at the older's clothing. He hasn't been around his boyfriend in a while and Jimin instantly breaks down in the other's embrace.

 

"Namjoon, please turn off the water." Yoongi mumbles into Jimin's hair as he pats the younger male's back. Jimin is sobbing into his chest, shakes and trembles broken loose, Yoongi just kisses his wet hair. "It's okay, Jimin."

 

Namjoon turns off the water, unplugging the tub and letting the water go drown the drain. "I'll go get a towel." He mumbles, partly because he wants to give the two their space.

 

"I killed him..." Jimin cracks into Yoongi's chest. "Yoongi, I killed Jungkook. I did it, it's all my ing fault-"

 

Yoongi grabs Jimin's face in his hands, "No, Jimin. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault." When Jimin shakes his head, Yoongi becomes desperate. "No, we aren't giving Jungkook his peace. We're not letting him rest. He knows you didn't do it, he knows no one killed him-"

 

"I could have stopped it, I could have-"

 

"It was his time," Yoongi brushed Jimin's tears lightly, a small comforting smile on his lips. Yoongi has come to terms with their friends death. "It wasn't anyone's fault so please, please stop Jimin." He begs and his own eyes water as he leans in to claim Jimin's cold lips with a warming kiss.

 

"It's okay to be sad but please, please don't kill yourself for it." Yoongi mumbles against his lips and Jimin is still for a moment before he shuts his eyes and nods his head slowly. Yoongi is right.

 

 

 

 

 

◄◄ 3 weeks ago

 

 

"You can't!" Jungkook cries in anger, tears against his eyelashes as he looks at his mother is shock. "He didn't change! He's still the same who beats you!" He shouts at his mother.

 

His mother sighs out, eyes broken as she looks at her only son. "We can't hide from him forever, he's your father-"

 

"That man isn't my father," Jungkook spit out, tears finally slipping. "He caused us so much pain mom, you can't go back to that." He begged as he reached for his mother's hands.

 

His mother only gave Jungkook a look, "People change-"

 

"Not him," Jungkook begged and he instantly dropped to his knees, hands gripping his mother's hands. "Please... he'll hurt you, I- I can't let that happen, mom. If it's money you need, I'll work two shifts. I can get us the money but please don't go back to him-"

 

"He's your father, we have to go back." She simply said with a small sad frown, eyes burning with tears of her own. "He could have changed-"

 

Jungkook shook his head, "I can't go back. He hurt you and I, he hit me growing up. I can't- I can't forgive him for all the stiches he's given you and I."

 

"Jungkook-" His mother started, desperate fingers trying to get him to come back but Jungkook slipped from her grasp with a shake of his head.

 

"No, I can't," He repeated as he turned around and headed straight out his door.

 

 

 

 

"Where are you?" Jimin replied in a happy tone over the phone. "I'm almost to the warehouse, I'm just pasting the railroads..." He mused.

 

Jungkook blinked, batting away the tears. "I need my best friend, Jimin." He said lowly, voice broken and heart breaking.

 

Jimin instantly turned serious. "Did something happen at home?"

 

"I don't want to talk about it," Jungkook said as he kept walking forward to the warehouse.

 

Jimin sighed, "You can't keep things bottled up inside like this Jungkook. It helps to speak about everything... it's unhealthy to stay quiet." He pointed out as he spoke into his phone.

 

Jungkook sighed and wiped at his eyes, "I can't. I don't know any other way but to bottle things inside-" He suddenly stopped as he reached the warehouse, a bit of the door opened as he peeked inside.

 

"Jungkook?" Jimin asked but the younger male only ended the call and watched inside.

 

Taehyung was there but he wasn't alone, Hoseok was with him. Jungkook would have walked in because it looked like they were just talking before Hoseok took a daring step forward and Taehyung didn't move. Honestly, Jungkook knew Taehyung was in love with Hoseok but it hurt seeing it before him. Jungkook came to terms with his two friends liking one another but Taehyung never broke it off with him and it makes Jungkook feel worse. He feels betrayed when he watches Taehyung lean in close.

 

Hoseok takes the step closer but Taehyung is the one who closes the gap between their bodies. There is tension around both of them, Hoseok's eyes intense and Jungkook bets Taehyung's looks the same. Taehyung's hand comes out and he brushes some hair away from Hoseok's forehead, a small and hesitant smile on his lips and Hoseok sighs out, eyes shutting tight.

 

"Can I... will you let me kiss you?" Taehyung asks in a nervous tone and Jungkook doesn't feel his heart break but he does feel like a fool.

 

Hoseok sighs out again, eyes opening and he looks at Taehyung. "..Yes..." He whispers but Jungkook sees his lips move.

 

Taehyung pauses for a few seconds before he tilts his head and leans up slowly. Jungkook can't see anymore and he turns around, colliding into Jimin.

 

"Jungkook? Are you alright?" Jimin asks but Jungkook doesn't say anything but sprint away and Jimin gapes as he leaves.

 

Jimin turns his head back to the door of the warehouse and decides to walk closer. He's about to open the door when he sees it, he sees Hoseok and Taehyung kissing slowly and Jimin gasps. He swings the warehouse door open and the two other males jump apart one another, faces written with guilt. Jimin is panting in anger and Taehyung and Hoseok finally realize what they've done once they've been caught. It was their first kiss but that doesn't matter, they were seen, that is what matters.

 

"I can't.." Jimin shakes his head in disbelief. "Jungkook saw everything just now!" He shouts in anger, fist curling as he points at them with an accusing finger.

 

Taehyung looks horrid and he quickly tries to leave to catch up with Jungkook but Jimin stops him. "I have to beg, apologize-"

 

"Not now," Jimin hisses with a shake of his head as he looks at Taehyung and Hoseok. "Jungkook has had enough, leave him alone for now, Taehyung." He warns as he casts both males one last look before he turns around and chases after his friend.

 

Jimin runs as fast as he can in order to catch up with Jungkook but it's getting dark out and he doesn't know which way the younger male went. He pulls out his phone, out of breath as he dials his best friend's phone number but Jungkook doesn't answer for the tenth time. Jimin lets out an angry shout, fingers going to clench his phone and slam it down to the ground This isn't the first time Jungkook shut him out like this and it always pains Jimin. Jungkook is so selfless and Jimin wishes him to at least once be selfish. It pains everyone, more him, when Jungkook only reassured them and hides behinds his false smiles.

 

Jimin doesn't know how long he runs but he stops just a bit when he sees Jungkook walking along the side walk of the street. He sighs, coughs a bit, catches his breath and chases after the younger male. Jungkook has his hood over his head but Jimin knows this is his best friend, it has to be. He's right when Jimin catches up to him and grabs his wrist, Jungkook spins around with dull eyes.

 

Jimin cups Jungkook's face in his hands, "Are you okay?" He questions out of breath, sweat down his temple from running. "Taehyung and Hoseok are sorry. They didn't want to hurt you-"

 

"I know," Jungkook says slowly, face frightening still and Jimin frowns. "I just.. leave me alone, Jimin." He brushes the other's hands away from his face.

 

Jimin's frown deepens. "No..." He catches his wrist again, "Talk to me, Jungkook. Did something happen with your mom?"

 

Jungkook takes Jimin's hand away from his wrist and keeps walking down the side walk. Jimin follows anyway, "Talk to me, Jungkook-"

 

"It's okay, everything is okay." Jungkook says in a chilling calm tone and Jimin has to bat the tears away.

 

"No, it's ing not!" Jimin explodes when they reach an intersection. "If you're hurt by your friend's actions, say it! If something happened with your mom, ing say it!"

 

"I'm okay," Jungkook whispered as he walked closer and pressed the button so he could cross the road.

 

Jimin watched him with angry eyes, "Jungkook, when you do this, it frustrates us!" He confessed in a shout. "We're your friends, we want to help. We all have problems, you can't always help everyone-"

 

"Yes I can-"

 

"No you ing can't," Jimin shook his head. "You break too but we can help-"

 

"No, you can't. My life is a mess," Jungkook admitted and Jimin ran angry fingers through his hair. "I just want to be alone, please."

 

Jimin heaved and nodded, annoyed. "Alone? Fine. I'll leave you alone," He said before he his heals.

 

Jungkook casted him one last look and turned around, heading straight for the intersection to cross the road. He kept his head low when he stepped out into the road. He didn't look up at all to see that the symbol was telling him not to cross the road. There was a long honking sound and Jungkook turned his head to the side, looking into the blinding lights of the car. If there is a god, Jungkook things he sees him in the lights that blind him. Jungkook closes his eyes slowly and he fells pain all over him, the screeching of the car and he can feel bones breaking. Then he feels numb, eyes slowly wanting to open but can't, the taste of blood in his mouth.

 

Jimin turns around at the sound of honking and when he does, his heart stops as shouts began to come from bystanders. He stays still as he looks at Jungkook's lifeless body on the middle of the road, his own blood by him.

 

"Jungkook!" Jimin yells, tears on his eyelashes as he sprints to the road where everyone has stopped. Jimin takes his best friend in his arms, trying to desperately get Jungkook to open his eyes. "Open them, Jungkook! Open your eyes!"

 

"Oh my god," A women steps out of her car, tears on her eyes as she watches Jimin hold a bleeding Jungkook in his arms.

 

"Please," Jimin begs as he cries, rocking Jungkook in his arms. He's got blood on his hands and clothes but Jimin doesn't give a damn. "Please, someone help! Please, call the ambulance! Call or he's going to die!" He begs everyone is shouts.

 

People around nod and some began to seek help but they're taking to long. "Jungkook, you can't go." He sobs as he clenches the male closer to him, "Hyung is sorry. You're so selfless, you're so perfect but you can't go. We all need you here, Jungkook." With a blood hand he wipes Jungkook's hair away from his forehead.

 

"Jimin..." Jungkook wheezes, pain in his rib and his air supply trying to cut off. "I can't... I can't..." He says and his eyes are closed, he can't open them. He feels himself want to throw up and when he does, it a bit of blood.

 

"It's okay," Jimin soothes the best he can as he gets blood everywhere. "Jungkook, you have to stay alive. The ambulance..." He chokes on his tears. "They're coming for you, okay?"

 

Jungkook fights to open his eyes but he just can't and he gasps as pain shoots up his spine. Jimin watches Jungkook struggle, tears escaping his closed eyes. Jimin heart breaks and he's selfish because he wants Jungkook to stay alive even if it hurts him to keep breathing.

 

"I'm so sorry, Jungkook." Jimin cries as holds the younger male, Jungkook listens. "We love you, all of us. Hoseok and Taehyung are sorry, I'm sorry. Everyone knows how much you've helped us and we're all thankful. We... we all love you, Jungkook." He whispers, tears hitting the younger's face. "So please... please don't go."

 

Jungkook feels his tears and Jimin's slide down his face and he wheezes out a bit. "It's... okay..." He breathes out coughing a bit more of blood. "I... I love... you guys too."

 

"We'll take him off your hands," The nurses came rushing out of the ambulance. Jimin nods with tear stained cheeks and wide eyes as he watches them lift Jungkook and place him on a stretcher.

 

"He's my brother, my best friend, I need to come!" Jimin instantly gets on his feet and the nurses take in Jimin's bloody hands and clothes before they nod.

 

Jimin gets on the ambulance and searches for his phone to send the rest of their friends a message to meet him in the near by hospital. Jimin latches on to Jungkook's hand and silently preys everything will be alright. He feels Jungkook squeeze his hand in his hold but somewhere along the ride, Jungkook's grip on his hand loosens. He's still breathing but Jimin's heart keeps stopping his chest.

 

 

 

 

 

Present Day ►►

 

 

Hoseok is resting in the hospital, an ivy hooked to him as he heart remains at a constant speed. The doctor had gave him a warning. He said he had too many pills, pills he didn't need in his immune system. It affected his breathing and messed with his insides which lead to him collapsing out side. Hoseok was lucky someone nearby saw him and quickly called the police. Hoseok would have been gone.

 

("You nearly died," The Doctor warned. "The depression wasn't help you either." He said with a simple shake of his head. "You're very lucky, Hoseok."

 

Hoseok had tears down his cheek, "Thank you." He said in a hoarse tone.

 

The Doctor simply nodded before he let a small smile follow on his lips. "You're mother has been here day and night waiting for you to wake up. Rest for a bit, I'll call her up.")

 

Hoseok has been here for four days, almost five and his friends were here for him everyday. Seokjin had a worn out smile on his face while Namjoon held his hand in a comforting manner. Jimin was there too, holding Yoongi's hand as he the older male scolded Hoseok for being careless.

 

Namjoon rolled his eyes and pushed at Yoongi's head. "You almost burned yourself to death, Min Yoongi." He had a lollipop in his mouth and Hoseok wondered why.

 

"He's cutting back on his smoking, Jungkook always hated it." Seokjin answered, a soft smile on his lips as he remembered the past.

 

"Yeah," Namjoon pulls out the bubble gum flavored lollipop from his mouth with a small smile. "Jungkook always wanted the best for me."

 

"For you?" Yoongi asked, an eyebrow raised in question and he watched his two best friends bicker like old times. "Jungkook told me I was his favorite-"

 

"I was his best friend," Jimin told his boyfriend with a shake of his head and Yoongi rolled his eyes playfully.

 

Seokjin shook his head, "Okay but I always cooked for him when he needed it." He pointed out at everyone in the room with a small smile.

 

"Of course you did," Namjoon rolled his eyes lightly as Seokjin frowned at him. The younger leaned in to place a small kiss to Seokjin's lips in comfort.

 

It was quiet for a second before Hoseok cleared his throat, "Where.. where is Taehyung?" He asked lowly, head staring down at his lap in shame. Jungkook said it was okay, he isn't angry but Hoseok still feels guilt.

 

Jimin walked closer and Yoongi clenched his hand, warning eyes. Hoseok only watched in confusion, "Taehyung... he's in the hospital too."

 

Hoseok's heart beat picked up and everyone's eyes flew to the beeping sound. "Calm down Hoseok, he's okay-"

 

"No, what happened?" Hoseok stammered, fingers shaking as he tried to get up but Namjoon and Yoongi stopped him.

 

"It's his second day here," Seokjin sighed, fingers threading through his hair. "He cut himself too deep and lost a lot of blood-"

 

"He hurt himself?" Hoseok asked in a hesitant and quiet manner.

 

Yoongi nodded, "He was admitted yesterday. He still hasn't woken up but he's been stitched up an he should wake up some time tonight or tomorrow morning."

 

Hoseok gave a sigh of relief so Namjoon smiled lightly and patted his head. "It's okay, Hoseok. You're okay."

 

 

 

 

 

◄◄ 2 months ago

 

 

"Climb the latter," Seokjin warned everyone with serious eyes. "Don't play around, Taehyung, Hoseok and Jungkook or you'll hurt yourself."

 

"Yes, mom." Hoseok said and he ducked with a smile when Seokjin threw a tiny rock at him.

 

Yoongi was the first one to step on the old rusty latter of the beaten and abandoned train. Once he was standing on top of the train, he leaned a hand down to help Jimin up. His boyfriend beamed and took the offering hand with an excited tug as he joined Yoongi on the train. Seokjin was the last to get on, watching to make sure Hoseok, Taehyung and Jungkook didn't fool around and accidently fall back. He smiled anyway, took Namjoon's hand and sat next to the boy on the train.

 

"I bet the view looks nice at night," Jimin said, eyes disappearing in a smile as he looked at the grey sky. It was beautiful, even if there was no sun shinning.

 

Yoongi smiled, grabbed Jimin's hand and knotted their fingers together. He rested his head on Jimin's shoulder. The order they sat was, Jungkook by the latter, then Yoongi, Jimin, Hoseok, Taehyung, Namjoon and Seokjin. It was comfortable, just the seven of them. It was silent for a minute, their minds else where as they stared at the sky in thought.

 

"I want to go to college," Seokjin confessed with a small frown as he looked forward at the sky. He leaned into Namjoon's touch when the younger rested his hand on his lower back. "I don't have money though."

 

"I want to go to college too," Yoongi said, his cheek moving against Jimin's shoulder. His eyes were closed as he felt the breeze, "Let's go together, Seokjin?"

 

Seokjin hummed and the rest of them laughed lightly.

 

"I don't want to just under ground rap." Namjoon his lips, "I want to make a living out of it."

 

"You can do it," Hoseok smiled lightly, reaching over Taehyung to pat Namjoon's knee.

 

Taehyung turned his head to look at Hoseok, "Hyung, why don't you try teaching dance?" He said lightly, eyes widen with hope because Hoseok was talented.

 

Hoseok shrugged, "I think I'll just join those two losers in college." He playfully said and both Seokjin and Yoongi snorted.

 

"I don't know what I want to do with my life," Jimin said as he swung his feet on the edge of the train. "I feel a bit desperate because I want a dream, I just don't have one."

 

Yoongi kissed his shoulder blade in support. Jungkook turned his head to look at Jimin, "You're not alone, Jimin." He smiled lightly.

 

Taehyung nodded as well, reaching over Hoseok to poke Jimin's cheek. "I don't know what I want to do either." He simply shrugged, a beautiful and dumb smile on his lips. "I just know I want our friendship to last forever."

 

Seokjin snorted with a small smile, "Of course. I'm not letting any of you guys live without my nagging." He said in a playful manner.

 

Namjoon wrapped an around Seokjin's shoulder, "I don't think they'll ever stop being the reason why you nag." He snickered when his boyfriend frowned.

 

And like that two hours past by, the seven boys talking freely. They've talked about serious matters but never really anything too serious like now. It feels good to let things off their chest, to express with their friends about their worries or troubles. Hoseok talks about his family, Jungkook about his mom, Taehyung about his life. Namjoon talks about his rap battles, Yoongi talks about joining one, Jimin expresses himself about the future and Seokjin talks about his goals. It's a special day they will all remember and it goes down in history one of their favorite days.

 

It's windy, the clouds hugging and hiding the sky but they think it's a beautiful day. It one of those days that they realize they aren't just seven friends, they're brothers. Their brotherhood is something they should always cherish and take to heart because it's hard to find people like this in the world. The seven of them fit together perfectly, it's a day they won't forget.

 

 

 

 

 

Present day ►►

 

 

"Hey, Taehyung... you're awake." Jimin smiles in a friendly manner, fingers reaching out to brush the other male's bed hair back.

 

Taehyung blinks, vision blurry and he squints to look at Jimin. "What..."

 

"You cut yourself too deep," Seokjin's voice can be heard and Taehyung turns his head the other direction, away from Jimin and towards the voice.

 

Taehyung blinks lightly and sees his four friends there. He sees Namjoon, Yoongi, Seokjin and Hoseok. "How long..." He trails off, eyes turning down in sorry.

 

"You were unconscious for only two days," Namjoon said. "You really cut too deep, Taehyung." He whispered and the younger male sat and stared at his wrist in sorrow.

 

"I'm sorry..." Taehyung's eyes watered and he tried his best to hold the tears back. "I didn't think... I wasn't thinking." He settled for saying instead.

 

Yoongi shrugged lightly, a reassuring smile on his lips. "None of us were," He said simply because it was true. "We weren't being reasonable and that almost caused us our lives."

 

Taehyung nods and looks up, he finds Hoseok's eyes looking at him. "Are you okay, Hoseok?" He asks softly and everyone only watches. "I heard..." He his lips, "I heard you fainted in the street."

 

Hoseok sighs and runs fingers through his hair, "I took too many pills. I fainted but someone called the police as soon as I collapsed, they pumped my stomach. The doctor said I was lucky." He whispered the last part.

 

"Good, that's good to hear." Taehyung said, eyes gleaming with tears and relief.

 

"Don't hate yourself anymore," Hoseok said softly, hesitate footsteps coming closer. "I hated myself so much, I couldn't even look in the mirror but Jungkook wouldn't want that."

 

Taehyung in a breath, "It's hard..." He mumbled.

 

"We can do this together," Namjoon said softly as he took a few steps closer. "We can all heal together. It hurts to let go but we have to let Jungkook free."

 

"Let's get pop fireworks like that one time, in memory for Jungkook." Jimin said, a smile on his face as he remembered the past. "I think Jungkook would like that."

 

Seokjin nodded, "Yeah, he always loved when we did that." He mused with a small smile.

 

Yoongi nodded, a smile on his own lips. "We'll sing Jungkook's favorite song too." He said lightly, "I'm sure he would love us doing that for him."

 

Everyone agreed with a small smile on their lips. "Jungkook wouldn't want us to die because of him. He was such a loving boy, I know he wants us to be happy." Seokjin said.

 

"Let's always carry him in our hearts," Jimin said as he walked closer to his friends. "I think it's time for a hug."

 

Hoseok opened his arms and Taehyung smiled and opened his as well. Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung hugged and then Seokjin joined in. Yoongi grumbled something under his breath (but he had a smile on his lips) as he walked over to join the hug. Namjoon looked at them disapproving for a second before he bursts into a big smile and crashed into the hug. They all hugged it out together because even if Jungkook was gone, he'll always be here with them. It was okay. It was okay to move on. They should kill themselves, Jungkook wouldn't have wanted that. It's okay, everything will be okay.

 

"It's okay," Hoseok whispers very low towards Taehyung by his ear.

 

Taehyung takes a deep breath, smile growing big as he leans into the hug and Hoseok's touch.

 

 

 

 

 

◄◄ 1 month ago

 

 

"I think my mom needs me to come home early," Jungkook mumbled as he stared down at the texts his mother sent him.

 

They're all walking on the railroads, heading for the trains again to speak like last time. They're laughing and talking, arms around one another as they continue to speak and walk.

 

"But we're going to the trains," Jimin frowns lightly, a pout on his lips. "Come on, we said we'd come once a month to talk about our feelings."

 

Yoongi snickered at his cute boyfriend, ruffling the younger's hair as they continued to walk. "Is something up?" He asked, Jungkook.

 

The younger shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "No, she said my aunt came to visit with my cousin. She wants me home early." He simply shrugged.

 

Seokjin nodded, "If you need to go, don't keep your mom waiting." He said with a small smile. "We'll come again next week, don't think you'll be skipping out on personal talk. You need to talk about your problems too," He said and Jungkook only rolled his eyes.

 

"Yes, mom." He bit back playfully and Hoseok laughed with Taehyung as Seokjin bent down to pick up a rock.

 

Namjoon grabbed the rock from his boyfriend's hand before he can throw it. He knew Seokjin meant no harm but still, "Calm down, babe." He chided and Seokjin blushed at the pet name while Taehyung, Hoseok and Jungkook laughed at his red cheeks.

 

Jungkook continued to walk with his friends before his phone beeped in his pants again. His mother said his cousin was looking for him. They've come to visit from Busan and Jungkook was excited. He hardly ever gets to see his family in Busan. He tells his friends that he thinks he might go so they all nod but Jungkook keeps walking until they've almost reached the train they climb to talk on.

 

Jungkook looks at all his friend's faces, their lovely smiling faces and he himself smiles. He loves them. All seven of them carry a big part in his heart. He will never forget them. He's thankful he has such wonderful friends and he knows he's loved back by them. They are friends but they're also brothers. They're family to Jungkook. The seven of them are his family.

 

Jungkook smiles, takes one step back and watches the rest of his friends take six steps forward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

("Hey, Jungkook! Are you coming?"

 

"No. I'll go first, I'll catch up with you guys later!")

---

A/N: See what I did there in the ending? I used one of 'their' memories as a symbolism of Jungkook leaving and the rest moving on with life.

I'm sorry for errors or lines that just don't make any sense. Thank you to those that subscribed and I hope this wasn't a complete fail! Follow me on tumblr- I'm a multifandom blog!

Also, I was inspired by bts I need u MV (obviously lol) but also this video ----> x

I will try to write more BTS fics in t he future, thank you! <3