| Let's break up | 

       I read it once. Then twice. Then a third time after that. 

       Even after reading it 4 more times, I still couldn't wrap my mind around this text. I mean, it may have been Monday morning hitting me in the worst possible way, or the fact that I had been sitting through an 8 a.m. lecture when I felt the buzzing in my pocket, but the meaning behind these words just wasn't clicking. 

| What? | 

       We had just celebrated an anniversary and he had just kissed me goodbye before I had left for school this morning. That said, this text struck me as more of a surreal prank than anything else. 

       I mean, where was this even coming from? 

| We've had a good run. I think it's time we cut our losses and moved on. | 

       And then I found myself at a loss for words. After all, what the hell was a 'good run'? What losses did we have to cut? Before I could even respond, another 2 texts came in. 

| To tell you the truth, I've been feeling this way for a long time |

| I just didn't want to hurt your feelings | 

       Time seemed to stand still as everything finally began to click and process in my head. From that moment on reading each text was like swallowing broken glass, the stabs trickling like water down my throat and emptying themselves painfully into my chest. 

Let's break up. 

We've had a good run... 

...I've been feeling this way for a long time. 

       However, before I could think too deeply on the subject, the sudden movement of my classmates broke me out of my thoughts as I realized that this class had ended. Glancing at the clock, I realized that I had a little less than 15 minutes to make it across campus to my next lecture. 

       Cursing under my breath, I hurriedly gathered my stuff and raced out of the empty classroom, the squeaks of my sneakers helping to steal attention away from the sound of my heart breaking. 

- - - - -

       "So you mean to tell me he broke up with you through text?"

       It was a whisper from one of my best and only friends, Lee Junho, that helped to solidify just how pathetic my situation was. 

       I almost regretted sharing the rundown with him when we had crossed paths on our way to class but, if I were to be completely honest, I had only told him that we had broken up. He had been the one to grab my phone and read through the messages himself, a practice that had become annoyingly common throughout the tenure of our friendship. 

       We had known each other since our freshman year of high school and, while Junho was a nice guy in his own right, he had a horrible habit of choosing the most inappropriate ways and times to approach things... 

       ...which leads us to where we are now: whispering in the 3rd to last row of our Compositional Studies class despite the fact that it was being held by one of the most notorious visiting professors on campus.

       He had insisted, since this was one of the few courses in which our curriculums lined up, that we take the class together. Little did I know that he would suggest this on the very last day of registration, or that he would land us both with one of the worst possible teachers.

       It was little things like this that made me question our friendship as I seamlessly continued to take notes in my notebook. 

       "Damn, who could've guessed that Song Jaerim would be petty enough for a text message breakup?" 

       "I know," the whisper barely made it passed my lips, head tilting downwards as I tried to shield my face with my hair. 

       "And it's not like you haven't been seeing each other or your schedules don't intersect. You live together," he paused for a second to write an extra sentence in the margins of his textbook. "You'd think he'd at least have the balls to do it in person." 

       I slowly began lowering my head in an attempt at using my hair to shield my rapidly reddening face and he continued. 

       "And to say he'd been feeling that way for a while when you've been dating for so long? It makes you wonder how much of your relationship was just acting on his part," he shook his head noncommittally. "It's almost funny. Everyone on campus always says that art-based majors can't be trusted, but it turns out STEM majors are even worse." 

       I nodded my head slowly in agreement, swallowing as the glass shards reappeared to lodge themselves deeper into my throat. We both knew his logic was flawed, but right now it didn't really matter.  

       "He must've been one hell of an actor, that Engineering major." 

       'He was,' I swallowed as tears began forming in my eyes, flashes of memories playing deep within my mind. 'I'm majoring in theater and even I couldn't tell when the sincerity had stopped and the acting had started.'  

       I knew he probably wasn't trying to make me feel worse on purpose, what with thoughtlessness being more or less in his nature at times, but he should've known better. The wound was beyond fresh and it still hurt like crazy. In fact, it took everything in me not to ditch class today in favor of crying my eyes out at a random rundown bar somewhere, and he was not making things any easier. Jaerim wasn't what I wanted or needed to be thinking about - not today, not tomorrow, and definitely not during my last class of the day with the teacher staring directly at us and a single thought playing on a seemingly endless loop in my head: 

       'I'm such an idiot.'  

       For the next few minutes, we were coated in silence as we both continued taking notes on some brand new material that the professor had begun covering. It was a welcome distraction as I was quickly able to reign in my emotions and get myself back under control, my attention once again diverted to other areas of focus. Just when I thought we might finish the lesson without incident, one last extra-quiet whisper made it's way to my ears. 

       "Sorry you wasted so much time on that bastard. If you ever need a warm friend with a clean shirt to make ugly tear stains on, you know I'm always here for you."

       The sudden kindness and sincerity of Junho's statement paired with the hand that was now ruffling my hair caught me off guard. After turning toward him and making eye contact, I found myself returning his smile with a soft one of my own as I was reminded of why we were still friends. Sure, the situation still and he was still incredibly inconsiderate at times, but then came moments like these where he was kind, thoughtful, and sweet. I opened my mouth to voice my thanks. 

       "Lee-ssi, is there something you and your friend would like to share with the entire class?" 

       Instantly the hand was gone and my hair was left a mess as all eyes followed the professor's line of vision and stopped on us.

       ...did I fail to mention that this professor just so happens to know Junho, BY NAME, and yet he still continues to whisper to me in the middle of his class? 

       Again: seriously questioning the logic of this friendship. 

       "No, seonsangnim," he answered dutifully, face flushing in embarrassment right alongside mine. "Nothing to share here." 

       "Good because, based on your exam scores from last semester, you need to be paying as much attention as possible." 

       Thank you, Park-seonsangnim. Always a pleasure. 

- - - - -

       "Hello? I'm home..."

       Stumbling into my apartment after the end of my shift at the local grocery store, I was startled to find my only response was an echo in the dark. I had often come home to chatter, laughter, and soft snoring in the past, but never in all the time I had been living here had I ever come home to silence. 

       Hanging my coat and keys and taking off my shoes gingerly, I walked the few steps through the entryway, turning on the lights to find no one in either the living room or adjoining kitchen. Confused and unused to the sudden quiet, I checked the bedrooms, bathroom, closets, storage, and even returned to the kitchen to check the pantry only to find the entire apartment completely devoid of company. 

       Though I hadn't realized it before, deep inside I had hoped that we could sit and talk things over when I had gotten home, even if I would've had to coerce him into it. I had hoped that maybe it had all been a misunderstanding and that maybe, just maybe, we could work things out like we'd always done in the past, but apparently Jaerim had had other ideas. This absence was disappointing, to say the least, but even then I figured that maybe he'd gone out for food or was out with friends and had neglected to call or text... 

       ...something he had never forgotten before. 

       I was foolish, still thinking of him as my boyfriend and wanting to see the best in him even as I checked the cupboards, cabinets, and pantry to find them all filled with groceries. Even the fridge still held a large plastic container filled with our anniversary leftovers waiting patiently to be reheated. Confused, it was only after reheating something simple in the microwave and moving to eat in front of the TV that I decided to check my phone, finding multiple missed texts from the same person. 

       I opened them quickly, optimistically hoping for the best and instead finding the worst. 

| Are you at the apartment yet? | 

| If not, I just wanted to let you know that I won't be there to greet you | 

       Glancing at the time stamps, I found that these had been sent over an hour ago, while I was still cashiering the dinner rush.

| I thought that things might get awkward, so I'm visiting my parents right now | 

| I'll be back Saturday, so you have until Friday to move out |

| Please leave your keys in the mailbox | 

       Which would've been better: the instant pain that may have been distracted by work had I noticed the texts an hour ago or the delayed pain that came with the revelation now and was held back with no restraints? I didn't know and I couldn't have decided even if I had tried. All I knew for sure as I pushed away the food I had lined up for dinner that evening were the loss of appetite and feelings of pain now permeating my being as the full weight of the entire day finally hit me at full force. 

      My boyfriend of 2 years, the one I had just celebrated an anniversary with 2 days ago, was breaking up with me with no explanations and, to add insult to injury, evicting me from the apartment we had shared for the last 15 months in 5 days. 

       And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. 

       Needless to say, this just gave me another reason to hate Mondays. 

All of the thanks in the world goes out to my first 3 subscribers, especially my 1st subscriber AND commentor. Thanks so much starslove! U all definitely gave me the boost I needed to put out chapter 1 so soon, but chapter 2 probably won't be coming for a while. Life is busy, but I'll try my best as long as I have inspiration. Also, I have to go back and edit it more thoroughly, so please excuse any mistakes or weird sentences. I'll fix it all later. 

Stay safe,

[ - ] DoMeSi 

August 1, 2015