The king kept to his promise and came back around sundown. He could barely look me in the eye as he ordered the servants to place two mats on the floor.

“Why are they so close together?” he shouted.

Eunuch Yeonggi narrowed his eyes. “Your Highness, you two are married.” He hesitantly continued, watching the king’s reaction. “We do wish for you to produce an heir—”

“Get out,” King Chanyeol snapped.

“Yes, sir.” The eunuch stifled a laugh and shuffled out of the room as quickly as I had seen him before, a small smile still present on his face.

Once they were all gone, the king let out a deep sigh and finally looked at me. “You can move your mat as far as needed.”

I tried to bite back my smile as I nodded in consensus.

“I know you do not feel safe in your quarters, but you must go back at some point,” the king said as he laid down in his mat.

I kept my eyes on the floor and nudged the pile of fabric with my toe.

“Are you going to stare at it all night?” Chanyeol’s eyes danced with mischief before he shut them and turned his head toward the ceiling.

Seeing him so comfortable made me feel more at ease. I quickly got under the covers and pulled them up to my chin. “It’s more comfortable than I thought,” I whispered to myself.

The king didn’t open his eyes as he said, “Is it different from the one in your room?”

I nodded, though he couldn’t see me. “Yeah. It’s fluffier and smoother.”

“Fluffier?” he asked.

“Is that not the right word?” I said under my breath so the king couldn’t hear me.

King Chanyeol sighed as he resituated himself under the blanket. “I’ll have them send it to your room when you go back.”

I let myself smile since he wasn’t looking. “Thank you.”

“Stop smiling,” he teased. He must’ve heard it in my voice. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You’re right,” I admitted. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him look over at me. “It’s not a big deal. It’s a HUGE deal,” I exaggerated.

He chuckled and shook his head. “You are something else.”

I didn’t think it was possible, but my smile grew.

A few minutes of silence settled over us until the king started to speak again. “I’m sorry.”

Although I wanted to, I decided not to look at him. I could hear how nervous he was through his unconfident voice and I didn’t want to make it harder on him.

“What for?” I asked, trying to sound light and casual.

“You know. This whole situation. You being queen.” I heard him rustle beside me.

“Do you regret having me be the queen?”

“No no,” he said, quickly shutting down the possibility. “If I’m being quite honest, I’m very happy to have met you. Pardon my selfishness.”

A rush of excitement surged through my body and I squeezed the mat to keep myself from leaping up and screaming shouts of happiness.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” I reassured him as I tried to hide my smile.

“I’d also like to thank you.” He cleared his throat before I could ask why he was grateful towards me. “Before you got here, I was quite sad, quite hopeless.” I turned to watch him as he spoke. His eyes were glued to the ceiling, but the corners of his lips were lifted. “It’s like you’re that overdue breath of fresh air and I was the man who’d been blindly suffocating for so long. Like I needed you, but I never knew it until now.”

The king finally looked at me, his eyes as soft as I’d ever seen them. I was lucky enough to catch a glimpse at his vulnerable side, which made my heart pound against my chest and stop all at the same time. It felt like my heart was constricting from guilt and joy simultaneously. Although it felt horrible, it also felt amazing because it was with him. And I felt like I could do anything if I did it with him.

And that’s when I realized how dangerously close I was to stepping over the line. He still didn’t know I was from the future. He still didn’t know I’ve seen the real queen. He still didn’t know how terrible I felt for pretending to be her. I was living someone else’s life, even falling for someone else’s husband. And guilt is far from merciful.

I suddenly felt how dry my mouth was and how chapped my lips had become. “You don’t need me,” I croaked, my voice thick and hazy.

He stared at me for a while, blinking slowly. “But what if I do?” His eyelids looked heavy, like he was about to fall asleep any second

“Then I’d kindly ask you to learn how to forget me.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “But why? Why forget something that brings me so much happiness?” His voice sounded far away and quiet as he started to drift to sleep.

But even still, every word was like a dagger to my heart and my conscience. “Happiness can be deceiving.”

“I’ve always been quite fond ignorance.” He smiled weakly and closed his eyes.

I continued to watch him as he dozed off, his chest falling and rising steadily. My eyes traveled from his long nose to his pink lips to his smooth neck. Before I knew it, my hand was already extending towards his. I didn’t stop until my fingers slipped under his and I felt the soft, warm skin of his palm against mine.

Why did I invest so much of myself into this person? I hated what I did because it hurt. It hurt more than I cared to admit. I couldn’t remember a time when I felt so conflicted, so happy but so sad at the same time.

It had been a few hours since King Chanyeol had fallen asleep. I could hear his soft breathing and the crickets chirping outside. But even these soothing sounds couldn’t rest my unsettled heart.

I stood and walked outside, not looking at the servants or the soldiers guarding the room where the king was fast asleep.

I walked slowly in efforts to clear my mind. I subconsciously ended up in the middle of the garden when I looked up and saw a figure standing in front of me.

“Chunja-yah,” he whispered.

“Yu Seongwon?”

He hurried to my side, stopping inches away from me. The moon’s light casted dark shadows over his face, but he still shone bright with pure happiness.

“How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t. I’ve been waiting ever since the sun went down.”

I looked at him with disbelief. “Did the king see you?”

“Of course not.”

“How did you get into the palace?” I asked, my voice low.

“You know how.” He chuckled, thinking I was joking with him. “My dad’s on the council.”

“He’s an advisor?”

Seongwon nodded, amused that I was taking the joke so far. “So is yours.”

I nodded as if I knew it all along. “Of course.”

He grabbed my hand and gently pulled me to a bench to sit on as we talked. “I haven’t inside the palace in so long,” he said. “I missed you.” His voice was sincere, but something seemed off. His eyes weren’t as soft as they normally were. It looked like there was something he wasn’t sharing with me.

“Are you okay?” I asked him.

He nodded slowly. “Yeah, it’s just that . . . didn’t you have a birthmark on your neck?”

My eyes widened despite my effort to stay calm. I quickly looked away and stared at the bush of roses I saw earlier. I remembered when the king realized I wasn’t the queen because I didn’t have that mark on my neck and now Seongwon saw it, too.

Although I didn’t want to deceive him, either, I didn’t want to tell him that the real queen was missing. I promised myself right then that I would tell him when I knew exactly what happened to the queen.

“Chunja?” he said, his eyes wary.

“I-I have to get back to the king—” I started to get up when Seongwon grabbed my wrist. His fingers were barely touching me, but they kept me glued to my spot. I was afraid to move and afraid to let him down. I was so afraid my body began to shake.

“The king? It’s near midnight.” He walked in front of me to see my frozen expression.

When I didn’t answer, he sighed and restlessly shifted his weight to one foot. “Why would you need to see the king at this hour?”

My hands started to shake and I quickly held them in front of me, breaking Seongwon’s light grasp on my wrist. “I-I—”

“Do you . . .” His eyes were pleading, but I didn’t know why. They looked hurt and betrayed. “Don’t tell me you . . .”

I didn’t know how to respond. I could barely look him in the eyes. My heart was pounding and my stomach was tying in knots.

He sighed in frustration because he couldn’t get the words out. “The king . . . do you . . . love him?”

My head lifted and my eyes met his. They were mixed with a certain type of pain I’d never experienced. The type you’d see in a sad romantic movie. It made my heart constrict in my chest because I did this. I did this to him.

“I—”

“Tell me, Chunja-yah. Tell me.” He reached for me, grabbing my right hand in both of his.

I could feel the burning in the back of my eyes from unshed tears. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. All I could do was slowly slide my hand out from underneath his.

Tears fell down his face as his arms fell to his sides. “Chunja,” he whispered. “Please don’t.”

I couldn’t look at him. I could only look at the stone path beneath my feet.

“Please don’t—”

“I’m sorry,” I said softly and quickly ran past him and out of the garden, running back to the king’s room. I could hear the servants bustling behind me in the distance.

I ran up the steps to the room and quickly shut the doors behind me. When I reached the room I leaned my forehead against the door and watched a few teardrops hit the floor.

Wait, why wasn’t it dark?

I turned around, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

King Chanyeol was sitting up on the mat, staring at me. My eyes slowly made their way down to the white pouch in his right hand and the coin in his left.

My eyes widened as I realized the bag must’ve feel out of my clothes when I went out for the walk.

“Where were you? I was worried?” His voice was thick from sleep. “Are you crying?”

I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand. “No, I’m fine.”

“I found these on the floor by the door,” he told me as he examined them. “This coin’s got some red on it . . .” he said as he started to scratch at it with his thumb.

“No!” I ran forward, leaping onto his lap to grab the coin from him. I felt the coin burn in my palm. I quickly locked eyes with him before everything went black. 

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