After meeting at a bus stop, she told her fiancé that she would go to a print shop first to take their holiday photos. Nam Woohyun just nodded and said that she should come to the restaurant he mentioned earlier after she took the photos. Yes, today she would meet all of his husband-to-be’s best friends. Most of them were already married and Woohyun mentioned that he and a friend were the last two to get married among them. Everything perhaps was like he was too hurry to decide to propose her and to marry her, but nothing was really like that. Since the time Woohyun met her again and they talked about random things, he always mentioned that he wanted to get married, that he would only go on serious relationship, which he didn’t want to take so long to marriage. Actually they met on a sogaeting, a friend introduced Woohyun to her. It was not like introducing a complete stranger since she already knew Woohyun years ago when they were still students at the college. They were not in the same department, but she did always see Woohyun. Woohyun was a busy guy. He did a lot of projects and events at the college and he was seen everywhere in the campus area. It was always nice to meet him though. He was all nice and friendly, he liked to smile a lot even to juniors from different department.

She herself admired Woohyun from long time ago, and she never expected that she would marry him one day.

Anyway, meeting a good guy like Woohyun, she thought herself lucky. After some months, he proposed her, as he said earlier that he wanted to get married soon. They prepared everything for the wedding, and now the D-day was in a week. She was happy, so was he.

For now it is the time for going to take the photos.

She called her senior who had a print shop, informing him that she would come in a minute. It took some seconds for the call to get picked up.

“Sunbae, it’s me.” she said casually.

“I know.” Kim Sunggyu’s voice sounded weak on the other line. She wondered if he caught a cold or something.

“Where are you?” she looked around. Actually they promised to meet near this bus stop.

“Uh, I’m going to buy something and meet my friends.”

“Oh really?” she asked. She knew earlier that he would close his shop this evening to meet his friends.

“Yeah.” He answered.

“Oh.” She responded. He sounded like he was in hurry. “When can I take the photos, then?”

“In some minutes, perhaps?” he gave a weird answer. He didn’t tell her when he would come back to his shop, and later she decided to hung up call, thinking that maybe she could take the photos tomorrow.

Then, she went to the restaurant Woohyun mentioned before.

So many people were there. Some men with their wives and kids. She didn’t know how to face them at first, but they really gave a warm welcome. She could see them as people who were really closed to Woohyun, like they were a real family, like they were his brothers and sisters, and nephews and nieces. Ah, there was one person she hadn’t introduced herself into. She blinked many times as she was standing in front of the person. It couldn’t be…

“Sunbae?” she called him out.

Kim Sunggyu was smiling at her, awkwardly. “Hi.”

“You’re here? You’re Woohyunnie oppa’s friend?” she couldn’t believe her eyes.

“As you see.” He replied. He then handed her an envelope. “Ah, this is your photos. I brought them along with me.”

She looked at him while taking the envelope. Something really happened to him. He simply looked different, and he didn’t look that sparkling. Yes, he was always sparkling in her eyes.

“Oh, sweetheart, you already know my friend Sunggyu?” Woohyun came between them and interrupted.

She looked at Woohyun. “Y-yes. He’s my senior at the college.”

“Ah, I should remember at the time you mentioned Gyu hyung’s name before. I should know from the beginning at the time you mentioned the print shop.” Woohyun slapped his forehead. “I thought you talked about other Sunggyu. Surprisingly, we got 5 people with the name Kim Sunggyu back then in our college and three of them were in the same department as Gyu hyung.” He laughed.

Sunggyu smiled and talked about the other Kim Sunggyus without even looked at her again. He just looked and talked to Woohyun. She didn’t know how to react. Was he surprised like she was? Or he already knew about her from Woohyun? But she was sure all Woohyun’s friends did not anything about her, since Woohyun really made it a surprise and their wedding was like to happen in such short of time. Woohyun had mentioned all his friends’ names, but she really had no idea that Kim Sunggyu, her sunbae, was one of them. It was really Kim Sunggyu, bloody Kim Sunggyu, Kim Sunggyu her senior.

It’s really Kim Sunggyu.

Oh, she couldn’t stop those memories filling in her mind.

“The one who will come to this class today is not Mr. Han, but his assistant.”

She heard one of her female friends talking about that this morning. Everybody looked excited, everybody knew who would came. The lecturer assistant, Kim Sunggyu, their senior by a year. He had been always an idol for his juniors, and she couldn’t tell the reasons. There were many reasons, he looked strict and serious sometimes, but he was really cool and funny when it came to teach, that was what she knew. She herself liked the existence of the lecturer assistant, who came many times in this semester. You knew, it was like really fangirling over your senior, looking at him everytime you saw him at the campus, even without getting the chance to talk to him. She was the one of juniors whose existence he never knew of. She always thought whether someday she could talk to him, experiencing how nice it would be to have him talking to her, with that delightful voice of his. But she realised it would never happen.

Simply because she never tried to.

She didn’t even know the reasons, but she found herself speechless in front of him, and it was never a good sign. It was only to him, and always. Whenever he came to her classes and taught them the materials of their lecture, she never got herself talking to him, even for just asking about a question whose answer she didn’t know. She did have lots of question, but she prefer got her friends asking them.

He never knew her, and her existence was nothing for him. She couldn’t change that situation as she soon realised that she had something for him. That kind of feeling, a feeling from a junior to her cool senior, that stupid feeling.

And it was so stupid that she gave up about her feelings without even trying to do something about them.

It was only for a year that she thought about him that way.

She got herself busy in some campus projects and events, which made her forget about him and got the chance to meet many other people. And she also met a senior from chemistry engineering, Nam Woohyun. That kind-hearted senior, he was also an idol for his juniors. She met him in some chances and they could have that long talk for a topic. They never ran out of topics, but then they barely met after the events ended.

She was already in her third year and she was told that this year, there were so many seniors graduated, including Nam Woohyun. It would be nice to meet him again. She then thought to come to his graduation ceremony and she also thought of bringing a flower.

She came with her friends who came with so many flowers with them. They said they would give the flowers to their favorite seniors. She chuckled to see their intention, which was different from hers. She just brought a flower for Nam Woohyun. They later went on their separate ways as her friends already found the seniors they were looking for. And she was looking for Nam Woohyun in the crowds of people. It was difficult to find him. All she met was only seniors from her department. Wait, seniors from her department?

Without expecting anything, she met Kim Sunggyu again. He looked all flustered as he was like looking for someone. He looked lost in the crowds of people, ignoring some juniors of him who wanted to congratulate him but he was busy searching people. She didn’t understand that finally she walked up to him, reaching out her hand.

“Sunbae, congratulations!”

He looked up. She tried to smile as wide as she could, even though it would look weird. She wanted him to see her happy face. She knew his brain was working hard, remembering who she was, who barely taken to his memories, who barely had places in his memories. He never knew her so she was difficult to be recognised by him in just some seconds. Surprisingly he smiled and took her hand. She smiled with delight at him.

“Thank you.” He said. She didn’t understand herself why it was so nice to hear his voice again after some times he didn’t come to classes as an assistant lecturer. And to touch his hand like this, she never dreamt of it. She then let go of his hand, afraid if she was too immersed in her own fantasy.

She said without thinking twice, she got an urge to say this. “Ah, sunbae, this is for you.” She gave him a red rose. “Congratulations!” she sincerely said. Waiting for a reaction was embarrassing, and he was like he didn’t really care with the flower because he was busy looking for people. She left him without even saying any words.

At last, with empty hand, she met Nam Woohyun. That guy looked surprised to have her coming, but he looked very happy. Surely, he was graduated today, he must be very happy. Glancing at flower bouquets he got (he had lots of them), she apologised she didn’t bring any flower. He just smiled at her, and later asked her to have a photo together with him and other juniors who came for him, including her friends.

Time flied so fast that finally she was the one who graduated a year after. She was separated from her friends who came back to their own hometowns after graduation ceremony and didn’t come back to Seoul. She was so thankful that they were still in contact. She herself found it difficult to find jobs and she spent most of her times helping her brother who worked at a hospital’s pharmacy. After some time, she got herself a job in a foreign company and that time, she also met Nam Woohyun again who was working for other company which was a partner of the company she worked for. They met often, they communicated through texts and calls, and she got him confessing. They planned to get married. Everything just happened that way. Fast, but she believed it was all God’s plan.

Including her encounter with Kim Sunggyu.

With her planning to get married in a month, she already saved some things she wanted to take with her to her new house. Woohyun had bought a small house for them two weeks ago. The most important thing was photos. She had lots of photos of her big family and most of them were old photos, including her baby photos and also her brother’s. She decided to scan and print them again before putting them into a bigger photo album, which she would bring to their new house. After work on Friday evening, she looked for a print shop she could find on her way home. She found one and she entered it without thinking anything. She was so surprised to see Kim Sunggyu there, talking with some staff of the shop.

After years passed, she could meet him again.

He didn’t change, he still looked the same, except that he looked more good-looking and charming. He was like radiating his charms all over the shop. She got her heart working hard  again after some years, like the old days whenever she met him.

He didn’t look like he worked there, since she knew he now worked in their college as lecturer, and as she heard someone calling him ‘boss’, she knew he was the owner of this shop. But as always, he didn’t see her.

She was there and he didn’t see her.

But now she didn’t want to let that happen that way like the old days. She had to make him at least knowing her existence. She wanted to talk to him, to repay days she spent without courage to talk to him. She was thinking the way to talk to him as she ended up dropping some photos from the table. Stupid, she cursed herself at that time.

“No problem. I can take care of that.” Kim Sunggyu said, at that time she had put back the photos on the table, and she looked up at him and smiled apologetically. Looking at him who went silence for some seconds, she, with all courage she had, got herself asking

“Do you remember me, sunbae?” she still had smile on her lips.

“Do we know each other?” that was his reply, he furrowed eyebrows in confusion, which she found it cute and she couldn’t help but laugh.

She had him staring at her puzzled, she then said,”O-oh, you don’t know me, sunbae, you must forget me since we don’t actually know each other.”

He asked some questions which made her realised he completely didn’t know her. She was sad about it, but it was the truth. Her existence was nothing, he didn’t know her. She wondered if she remembered the day of his graduation.

“Did you remember when I came to your graduation ceremony?”

“You came?” he blinked many times.

She didn’t reply his question. “Did you remember?”

He didn’t seem that he remembered about it though.

She then left the shop, saying that she would come back again.

The next day, she came again. She had Sunggyu looked at her differently, like he remembered something. And, right, he said to her

“You came again.” He said, smiling slightly.

It was the second time she got him smiling at her. Without her knowing, her heart beat so fast under her chest. Come on, it was just a smile, how could it make a heart beats faster? She tried to control her emotion, and she ended up grinning. She then asked him again if he remembered her. He knew they were not that close (they were never close, by the way), he even asked why she gave him flower at his graduation ceremony. That was stupid yet cute question. And then she was in the situation she always wanted, where she and Sunggyu talked. They really talked, about many things including their college, and with this encounter with this senior of hers, she told her friends who worked in Seoul to hold a mini gathering in three days.

Sunggyu looked happy after meeting with his juniors and friends from the same department. They were on their way to bus stop as they talked about how she found his print shop. He also asked why she asked him whether he remembered him or not. She was glad with the fact he was curious about that one. That was maybe the single memory he remembered about her, that she had come to his graduation ceremony.

“I thought about this, that you perhaps remembered a weird hoobae whom you did not know giving you a flower at your graduation ceremony. But I guess you didn’t remember anything about me. It’s so silly, right?” she told him. They laughed together. Aish, she hoped she had this chance long time ago. It was really nice to see him laughing.

She came again and again to Sunggyu’s photo shop. She knew he was still helping working there until the autumn holiday ended. It was like planned, but she really came because she had many photos to be scanned and printed. Woohyun knew she always came to the print shop, she also told him about her encounter with her senior. She told him about Sunggyu and surprisingly he knew four Kim Sunggyus who were from chemistry education department. He even mentioned the other Kim Sunggyu in geophysics engineering. He also said that one of his best friends was also Kim Sunggyu from chemistry education department. Thinking that Woohyun couldn’t be friends with her senior, she didn’t explain it any further, but Woohyun knew she was not that close with that senior of hers.

Woohyun told her that he could go and scan and print her photos, but she refused it, saying she could do it by herself. She told him that she would also print out their holiday photos in Jeju-do.

“Ah, I forgot to tell you sooner, but I want you to meet my best friends tomorrow’s evening.” Woohyun said.

He had told her about this that he wanted to introduce her to his friends. “Where will we meet them?” she asked him.

“In a new restaurant owned by one of them.” He told her. “I will pick you up in a bus stop near the restaurant. What about it?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

She had texted Sunggyu that she would come to the print shop to take the photos, but Sunggyu refused saying that they better met up in some places since he would go meet some friends and he informed that he had closed the shop. They then decided to meet in a bus stop near his print shop. She got off the bus but surprisingly Woohyun came and covered her eyes from behind. She used to see his little surprise and she turned around. Woohyun smiled at her widely before then hugging her, in front of many people who just got off from the bus.

“The restaurant is near from here?” she asked him after pulling away.

“Yeah, it’s just three minute walking.” He nodded and replied.

“But I need to go to the print shop first.” She pointed a direction.

“Ah, the restaurant is at different direction.” He pointed where the restaurant was.

“I will take the photos first, is it okay? I’ve made a promise to take the photos today.” She said to him.

He nodded. “Don’t worry. The kids can wait.” He laughed. “I will wait in front of the restaurant.”

This was really awkward situation for her. She didn’t know what she should do to Sunggyu. He completely ignored her, completely. She felt something was not right. She didn’t know why she felt that way. She was confused to find two men in her life were in the same place right now. Yes, the man of her past and the man of her future. She felt so bad to think about Sunggyu again these days as she was about to get married in seven days. But she herself couldn’t stop it. She really wanted to talk to him and never let the chance go once again. But here she was now, confused with her complicated feelings. And now she faced the fact that Sunggyu suddenly ignored her.

“So, our friend Sunggyu hyung was your senior at the college?” that tall friend, Lee Sungyeol, asked her when they all were having dinner. She came back to reality and replied him after glancing at Sunggyu who was busy eating.

“Y-yes.”

“How was he back then? I heard he did become such lecturer assistant. How was he?” this time it was Jang Dongwoo who asked. He chuckled.

“He was very nice and cool.” She said, recalling the memories. “All of female juniors liked him so much.” This fact amazed the friends.

“You didn’t say you were so popular among girls, hyung!” Lee Howon patted Sunggyu’s back.

“No wonder, Gyu hyung is very cool indeed.” Woohyun grinned.

“But, why is he not dating anyone till now? If he was really popular like you said earlier, sister-in-law.” Lee Sungjong said. Sunggyu sighed and he looked very annoyed. She could see it.

“I’m very hungry. Can we order again?” he changed the topic.

“Eyyy, you can’t change the topic, hyung!” Kim Myungsoo shot and everyone laughed.

The dinner ended. The friends and their wives and kids went back home. Woohyun, she and Sunggyu sent them off, including sending off the owner of the restaurant himself, Lee Sungjong, who would go home first with his wife and kids. Woohyun was talking to Sungyeol who was already in the car when she was left with Sunggyu behind. She uncertainly glanced at Sunggyu. He was not looking back at her. She felt her heart heavy. She sighed.

“Sunbae,” she started the conversation,”why don’t you tell me you’re Woohyunnie oppa’s friend?”

After some seconds of silence, he replied. “Why don’t you tell me you’re Woohyun’s fiancée?”

She didn’t know what to answer. She went silent for some other twenty seconds before said,”It’s so surprising, isn’t it, sunbae?” she said, almost whispering. How could this kind of situation happen to her? She regretted it that she just met Sunggyu again after years. She regretted it with the decision of her to talk to that guy. All she did all this time was just reminding her how much she liked him back then. Those memories of him would never leave, they would stay, and they were stronger than before, counting how she met him again. But…

“It really is.” He replied. He didn’t sound happy. She didn’t know what he was thinking, why he suddenly ignored her.

She looked at Woohyun who was waving at Sungyeol. She had to think about Woohyun, too. She had chosen him as the guy she would spend her life with. It would be bad if she just thought about her feelings for Sunggyu that coming back just in the count of days. She had to remember that she would get married in seven days. Seven days. She knew it was complicated, and now she was really confused. And Sunggyu still didn’t look at her.

“Now it’s time for me to go.” Sunggyu said as Woohyun came back.

“What? Why so sudden?” Woohyun asked. “We can go to some coffee shop before going home.”

“No, it’s better for me to leave. You know I have business to run, right, Woohyun?” Sunggyu tried to laugh, he tried to look happy. Why did it look otherwise in her eyes? Why was he like that?

Woohyun nodded. “Okay, hyung. Thanks for bringing the photos, by the way.” He referred to the envelope Sunggyu brought along earlier. Sunggyu just nodded. “Be careful on your way home, hyung.”

“I will. I’m leaving.” Sunggyu said, waving and turning around. He walked to the bus stop slowly.

She was left here with Woohyun. Looking at Sunggyu’s back, why did it make her heart so heavy? She shouldn’t think this way, she knew she shouldn’t. Sunggyu really came back in her life and it was not like everything would change in a blink of an eye. She, who wanted him in the past, couldn’t do the same thing now, secretly wanting him. She was now living with her decision to marry the guy who was standing beside her right now. Why could an encounter shake her heart? She knew she had forgotten all about Kim Sunggyu. She knew she did. But why? Why now? Why did he have to come back again?

“You look pale, sweetheart. What’s the matter?” Woohyun looked worried. He cupped her face. She smiled slightly, and didn’t give him any reply. She slowly hugged him tightly. She breathed in his scent, the scent she always liked and was always familiar with. The scent she would smell in the rest of her life. She and Woohyun have promised not to leave each other, and of course, she would never break that promise.

“Are you okay?” Woohyun sounded worried, but he let her hugging him.

“I’m okay, I’m just tired, that’s why.” She replied him with no energy. She suddenly felt so tired, which was the truth.

Woohyun sighed and hugged her back. “We should go home then. I will send you home. You need to get rest” She nodded listening to his suggestion.

She hoped she could forget all her memories with Sunggyu in the past twenty days, and also the other memories years ago. She should forget them, she wished she could forget them. All the times they spent together, the joy, she wanted to forget them all from now on.

Now, goodbye, Kim Sunggyu.

Fin.

August 14^th 2015