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Soonyoung and Seokmin had a special relationship. They were inseparable, and they always have been. Soonyoung can’t remember a time when Seokmin failed to make him laugh, whether it be from their dumb synchronized gags or the “Soonseok Talk” jingle they recited all the time. When they had first met, Soonyoung couldn’t believe he found someone that was an exact copy of himself. They indeed have differences, like how Soonyoung dances and Seokmin sings. Or even how Soonyoung has to look up at Seokmin when they’re conversing. But they get each other. It’s like they share a brain, they can communicate without saying a word. Except Soonyoung was 100% sure, this was the one thing they didn’t have in common.

Soonyoung doesn’t know exactly when he realized it. Maybe when Seokmin’s hand lingered for too long on his shoulder after hitting him from some cheesy joke, while Soonyoung’s heart rate continued to race. Maybe when they were joking around and hugged for the umpteenth time and Soonyoung didn’t want to let go, he wanted to stay locked up in his arms forever. But he was sure it was just a passing craze.

Soonyoung has never liked guys throughout the 19 years he’s been alive. He’s sure of it. He never really focused on girls either because his main priorities have always been becoming an idol or practicing taekwondo. He hadn’t known what butterflies felt like until he heard Seokmin’s angelic voice serenading him from inside in the practice room. He hadn’t felt so confident about himself until Seokmin told him that his dyed blonde hair was cute and suited him. He hadn’t ever thought about how easily jealous he got until he saw Seokmin put his lips against someone else in a game of paper kissing, and apparently the paper slipped. He hadn’t done a lot of things before he knew Lee Seokmin.

Soonyoung was not very sure what to do. The two recently just debuted, the goal they’ve been working towards for over two years. He couldn’t risk damaging their image. Being, well you know, would completely destroy everything. The band, his reputation, and even worse, their friendship. He would try to convince himself that it was just because he was too young, that he didn’t know what he was talking about or what he was feeling. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to call Seokmin his own. There’d be no more worrying about stupid things like if some female trainee is going to steal his heart, or even one of the other members.

Soonyoung knows he’s being dumb, and he hates it. He doesn’t get attached, he’s not an emotional guy. He’s known for being easygoing and playful, not romantic or sensitive. He knows himself pretty well, he’s had to live with himself for his whole life. This wasn’t him, it couldn’t be. Maybe someone had poisoned him or casted a spell on him. Maybe he’s been in a coma for the past two years and he’s created 12 different  guy personas in his mind that don’t actually exist. That’s gotta be it. It wouldn’t be a surprise to find out Seokmin was just part of his imagination, he already struggles on a daily basis to believe that he’s lucky enough to see that heartwarming smile directed towards him so often.

Soonyoung wants to do something about it. But he knows Seokmin doesn’t feel the same. Whenever something crosses their line of friendship, Soonyoung knows it was just joke and Seokmin likes girls. After all, Seokmin plays around the most while Soonyoung comes to a close second. Seokmin couldn’t possibly feel the way Soonyoung does. To him, it’s just a typical bromance. It’s even more likely he doesn’t feel the same way because they barely even interact anymore like they used to. Occasionally on broadcasts they might share a word, but everyone’s so focused on working on the second Seventeen album, they never have time to enjoy themselves. It’s a sad truth.

It was a tuesday morning at the dorm and everyone was busy with their own tasks. Soonyoung didn’t feel like getting up today for some reason. He had no motivation to get back into that muggy room and search for new moves to incorporate in their choreography. But it was only one day, it wouldn’t be a big deal. He could pass it off as being deathly ill, better to use a sick day early while he still can.

“You okay?” Soonyoung looked up to see a dressed Seungkwan looking down at him. He whined in response while Seungkwan rolled his eyes.

“You were supposed to shower like 15 minutes ago, you’re going to make us all late or you’re gonna have to go to the Pledis building by yourself!”

Soonyoung did not have the time for Seungkwan’s scolding. He was younger than him anyway. “Yah, is this how you treat someone older than you? I’m sick.” Seungkwan automatically stepped a few feet back. “Don’t get your germs on me. Suit yourself.”

Soonyoung began to close his eyes and doze off again, despite the fact that a bunch of adolescent boys were all making so much damn noise around him. It felt good to sleep in again for the first time in ages.

Then he heard a certain voice singing the lyrics to a Nu’est song and he didn’t feel so sleepy anymore.

“Jigeum neo geogiseo mwohani, jigeum neol meolliseo meonghani~”

He could hear him belting the lyrics from across the dorm. Yet it didn’t bother him, it made him smile a bit. The singing got louder which indicated that the latter was coming into his room.

“Hoshi hyung~ get up!” He could feel the younger lightly shove him in the shoulder as if he was actually asleep.

“I’m awake! Yah.” Soonyoung barked at him. Seokmin smiled at his effectiveness. “Why aren’t you up? It’s a weekday.” Soonyoung rolled his eyes and took a big sigh. “I don’t want to go today, I don’t feel so well.” Seokmin looked concerned as soon as Soonyoung replied to him.

“Really? I guess I’ll have to stay home and take care of you then.”

Soonyoung’s eyes widened from their half-lidded state to what Seokmin had just said. Soonyoung was lost to why Seokmin was acting like it was such a normal thing to do. He was pretty sure it was bad enough he was skipping while being the performance leader after all, they couldn’t risk losing another member at practice.

“Don’t, you shouldn’t miss a practice for me.”

“But jagiya~, I love you, I want to take care of you!”

“Stop it, I should break up with you.”

There he goes again, and Soonyoung couldn’t hide the blush on his cheeks. Seokmin plays a little too much, and it was one of their gags to act like a couple. Soonyoung should’ve just played along and laughed at his joke but he couldn’t take the fact that Seokmin was only joking, it was killing Soonyoung inside while all of it was just some sort of joke to him.

Seokmin looked discouraged and sort of disappointed. But he cracked another cheesy joke before he left the room to leave with all the others. “But Soonseok doesn’t sound as good without the Soon part!”

And at that, Soonyoung couldn’t help but smile.