Realization hit me when Hyun Joong kissed me and whispered those words into my ear. This was no dream, I could say. But it didn't pacify my mind. I could not tell why Hyun out of the blue kissed me.

I rubbed my tears and asked him in a small voice, " what was that Hyun?" 

"What Saeng?"

"You kissed me... do you even realise what you have done, Kim Hyun Joong?"

"I do. But I don't regret it because I wanted to do it for so long." 

" What are you saying? I'm your brother Hyun, your bloody cousin brother. Also I don't remember you being gay!"

For you, I am, Saeng. Only for you."

" What kind of a sick joke is this? Hyun don't try to toy with my feelings." 

"So you admit having feelings for me?" Saying this he took a step forward. I involuntarily stepped back.

Hyun Joong again asked, " do you have feelings for me?" His voice sounded so hopeful. I wanted to blurt out all my emotions and feelings at that moment but I restrained because the logical part of my brain was propmpting me to deny it since this relation will end in an impasse I knew. So why hurt us more? That's why, I denied.

Hyun Joong looked not so convinced and again took a step forward and I, being the coward type, moved back and ended up trapped between the wall of the club and Hyun Joong's well-built body. My back hit the wall. Anticipation was making me stiff with nervousness.

Hyun Joong came more closer and said in a menacing tone looking into my eyes, "I don't believe you."

My voice shook while replying but somehow I managed to form the words, " I'm saying the truth. I don't feel anything for you."

I knew watching his expression that he did not believe one word I said, about me not having feelings for him. However, his next words confused me more. Bringing his mouth near my ears he whispered, " let's see whether you are saying the truth!" 

He then pulled away from me and looked around searching for something. Dazed in shock I was unable to move from the wall.

A while later he came back with a sharp piece of glass in his hand. My brain was not working properly in the midst of the series of events, so I failed to make out his intentions. His next moves shocked me as I saw him lift that glass piece and struck himself on his left arm. A shriek escaped from my mouth. I could not process what exactly was he doing.

Looking at the blood gushing out of his wound, I could not stop myself and came towards him. But his next words froze me, " don't come near me Saeng because you have no right."

"What are you saying Hyun? Your wound is bleeding profusely. Let me take a look at it."

" I have struck myself. Its self-inflicted. So, no need for you to be responsible for anything that happens now."

"But why did you do it?" Desparation was slowly taking over me, I pleaded again," let me take a look."

" Why do you care? You have no feelings for me, then why?"

" Hyun Joong, you are my brother and you are hurt so badly. How can I overlook this?"

" I hurt myself Saeng, so don't be bothered."

"I cannot watch it while my brother bleeds to death!"

" This wound is not that fatal, and why do you care?"

" I told you already. You are my cousin and best friend. Please, let me treat you." 

"Don't feel obliged because you are a doctor!"

"Please Hyun Joong! That's not the case. Let me have a look." I pleaded. He was bleeding profusely and the wound was looking bad. And here I could do nothing but stand and watch.

I tried once more, " why are you doing this? What do you wanna prove Hyun Joong?"

He replied with a slight smile, "nothing, just that you do have feelings for me, that you do care."

"I already told you I care because you are my cousin."

"Not as cousin." He sighed and said again, "why don't you care for me as a lover cares for another?"

I got dumbfounded. I could not believe my own ears. Did he just say he that wants me as a lover? "What did you say?" I asked.

He replied slowly, " Why don't you care for me as my lover?"

Hearing his words my heart was beating uncontrollably. Hyun Joong's lover... I don't even remember how long I have nurtured this forbidden desire. I wanted it to happen but I knew society would never approve of it. Homoual relations itself were a taboo till the recent past though now it is getting recognition but , that won't be accepted, ever.

Therefore, though I am very much in love with Hyun Joong still I spoke against it. "Are you crazy Hyun Joong?" I shouted. "How can you even think of such a thing? I am your brother Hyun Joong; your aunt's son. We cannot become lovers. Its forbidden." I added.

"But I know you alr