“Guess for safety’s sake, I ought to keep using my own legs,” Young Bae said with a grin and pat to his friend’s shoulder.

“Good idea,” Ji Yong panted, slouching forward dramatically.

“Awe, you worked hard,” Young Bae relented, massaging Ji Yong’s shoulders and neck.

Several minutes later, Ji Yong, feeling relaxed, leaned back into Young Bae’s body. Reminded that they were now lovers, he draped his arm across the thin man’s chest and tucked his nose into his neck, prompting Ji Yong to interlock their fingers and rest his free palm on Young Bae’s thigh. It was remarkably comfortable. He held Ji Yong like that for a long time before his shoulder started to complain again. Tenderly, he kissed behind his friend’s ear.

“Let’s lie down,” he whispered.

Reluctantly, Ji Yong peeled himself away and helped settled Young Bae down, propping up his arm. Instead of walking around, he climbed carefully over the strong man and plastered himself to his side, sliding a leg over his hips and tucking his head under Young Bae’s chin. Young Bae could feel the hardness pressed against his hip as Ji Yong squeezed even tighter. He rested his hand low on his slim back and dropped a single kiss to the top of his bright red head.

Ji Yong felt like he was living in a dream. He had always known Young Bae would be a great boyfriend, but he had truly underestimated him. He was so soft and tender, and it made Ji Yong’s heart ache. Thinking about how it would have to end in a few short months, brought tears to his eyes. Trying to push those thoughts aside, he pressed himself even closer, clinging tightly.

“Ji Yong-ah,” Young Bae called softly, feeling the wetness on his chest.

But GD just shook his head, refusing to answer.

Again, Young Bae’s lips connected with Ji Yong’s head. He started to hum softly into his hair, rubbing his hand up and down Ji Yong’s side. It was a minute before he recognized his own song, Window.

“I can see you crying,” YB sang softly. “Love is painful, more painful. When I look at you. Baby look at me.” He threaded his fingers through Ji Yong’s hair and gently tilted his head back. “Come up here.”

Avoiding his eyes, Ji Yong moved higher in the bed, so that his face was level with Young Bae’s. He rolled to face him; their noses inches apart and softly wiped away his friend’s tears, even though they were quickly replaced.

“Don’t,” Ji Yong said thickly, guiding YB’s injured hand back to his own chest. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

“Why won’t you look at me Ji Yong-ah?” He lifted his face up with a hand under his chin, urging his eyes up.

Eventually, feeling trapped, Ji Yong’s watery eyes met concerned ones.

“Why?” he asked softly.

“…Just thinking; getting ahead of myself,” he answered vaguely, once again averting his eyes.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I feel like I’m making things worse.”

Ji Yong’s eyes immediately darted back to Young Bae’s.

“No. Don’t…don’t stop. Please,” he pleaded, eyes wide.

“I don’t know what’s the right thing to do.”

“Just be with me. Stay by my side. It was just a moment, a stupid moment. I was thinking about the future. But, you know me, that’s not how I live. I’m in the here and now. The good far outweighs the bad. There is no bad. I just want you, I need you. Please! Don’t push me away yet. It won’t be for long, just…just put up with me. Just a little while longer. I won’t cry anymore. I’ll control myself. I promise. Don’t stop, don’t draw the line yet,” Ji Yong begged, speaking rapidly in his desperation, deaf to Young Bae’s calming attempts. “I won’t cling when it’s over. I’ll let you go, I swear. Please, pl-”

Young Bae, unable to get through to Ji Yong with words, did the only thing he could think of; he kissed him. It was a firm kiss, Young Bae holding the back of his friend’s head. As he felt the other man’s resistance melt, he eased back, placing a few small kisses to his lips and his hair.

“Can you hear me now?”

Ji Yong’s eyes were half-closed, staring at Young Bae’s mouth, as he nodded.

“Then listen closely. I wasn’t trying to push you away or draw a line. I was expressing concern for your emotional well-being. You can cry if you feel like it or scream or cuss at me, whatever. But you can’t flip out like that again, to the point where you can’t hear or see me. If you’re worried or sad, just talk to me like you normally would. Boyfriend, lover, friend, it’s all the same; I’m still your Young Bae, that will always be there, no matter what. Don’t act scared of me, I don’t like it.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-”

“Kwon Ji Yong!” he interrupted harshly. “Look me in the eye and say what you’re thinking. Stop tiptoeing around me. Stop acting like I’m some scared little kid that’s going to run away.”

“I’m the one who’s scared,” Ji Yong admitted a bit angrily. “Do you have any idea how hard it was just to lean back earlier?” His voice began to rise heatedly. “What if you don’t like it? No, that’s a given. What if you really hate it? What if you think it’s gross? Too far? What if you say you can’t do this anymore? What am I supposed to do without you?! Seeing you, being with you, is the best part of every day. What if you don’t want to be around me anymore? What if-” He broke off, tearfully. “What if…”

“What if what?” Young Bae asked softly.

“What if I ruin everything?”

“Nothing’s going to be ruined. You and me? Ruined? It’s not possible. Even when we fight, even when we’ve hit each other, did that thought ever even occur to you? That we’re through? That it’s over? That this…” He gestured between them. “Whatever it is between us, has an end? Even when I’m so angry, I can’t stand to see your face, it’s a given to me that tomorrow will be better. That tomorrow, when we’re calm we’ll figure it out. I’ve never considered my life without you; because that’s not a reality I’m willing to accept. Ever. For any reason.” He paused, reaching out to hold Ji Yong’s hand. “Forget desire, forget ; am I not the person you expect to have in your life until it’s over? Because that’s the way I feel about you, Ji Yong-ah.”

“You are,” he whispered.

“Good. Then stop thinking weird things.” Young Bae pulled him close and lay back down, not even aware of when they had sat up.

They lay facing each other, Ji Yong a little lower so that his head was pillowed on Young Bae’s arm. One arm wrapped tightly around YB’s waist, the other tucked between their bodies, fingers intertwined with those of his injured arm.

After a long silence, Young Bae spoke quietly, lips moving against Ji Yong’s forehead.

“I don’t hate it or think it’s gross.”

Ji Yong squeezed even closer.

“Are you sure?” he asked, lips grazing YB’s collar bone.

“Yes,” he paused, pressing a light kiss. “I like it. It’s not ual, but I do like it. Because it’s you.”

Ji Yong pressed even closer, slipping a leg between Young Bae’s. Now that his emotions were settling back down a bit, his hormones were getting the best of him. He breathed in deeply, which didn’t help much since he took in YB’s scent.

“Does that mean…” Ji Yong swallowed roughly. “Can I kiss you? Not now, I mean. But, but later, sometime, when I, maybe when-”

“Yes. You can kiss me whenever you want, touching too. I’m all yours.”

Nervous, but determined, GD pressed his lips to Young Bae’s neck, kissing his pulse point. YB squeezed him for a second then let out a loud yawn.

“Sorry, I’ll let you sleep.” Encouraged, Ji Yong kissed his neck once more before nuzzling in to sleep, forcibly ignoring his lower body’s complaints.