A/N: Long time, no see ^^' Sorry it's been so long. Here's another update[:

It may seem like another filler, but because this kinda got really deep, I decided to add some context into Tiffany's character which will show the importance of Jessica's character. Yeah. You'll understand in the future. I promise! Anyways... enjoy more angst. xD

btw. just a cussing disclaimer. I cussed a lot in this chapter because Tiffany is trying to distress. As a Californian, I feel like things are just easier when you shout some expletives and I guess these words just come in your thoughts when you're this angry. I apologize in advance ^^'

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"I only passed English and Stats.” I try to say nonchalantly. My father and I were eating lunch and the subject matter of my AP test scores was finally asked.

I hoped he would just shrug it off and understand. 

My heart drops, seeing the exact opposite. 

I remember the disappointed look on his face when he stopped feeding himself, mouth open and prepared for the newly cooked kimchi fried rice.

I wanted him to tell me everything would be okay. I wanted him to just continue eating, not put his chopsticks down and contemplate his words. I wanted him to tell me about focusing on the future.

The silence was killing me. The tension in the air was suffocating me.

I, being the happy pill I try to be, tried to ease the situation. “I mean. I kinda saw myself not passing Government not Econ. I’m actually surprised I got a 2.” I ate my spoonful of rice, chewing rather thoroughly. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want my dad to talk. I didn’t want to eat. 

I swallowed my plain rice. “I don’t know what happened during Music Theory.” I pitifully laugh at myself. “I must’ve messed up dictation. I remember burning out by the end of the test. It was my second to last test.”

He slammed his cup down. I gulped and tried to make eye contact or show any signs of weakness. I was in for it. “You know what the problem with you is?” I close my eyes, trying not to cry. I wanted reassurance. I wanted comfort. “You just overthink things.” He scoffs.

I fight back. “No, I do not!” I mean, it was slightly true. I overthink things (like my test results), but I’m not going to overthink what the market should do if there’s an abundance of apples or what gerrymandering is.

He rolls her eyes and angrily picks up his spoon. “You studied too much. You know, Michelle never crammed the night before an important test. You can’t do stupid things like that in college.”

He. Did. Not.

I stood up to grab a banana. I’m going to leave this conversation as soon as possible, but I’m not going to storm out. “You want to split?” I try very hard to be passive. I was stubborn.

He didn’t make eye contact; he just stuck his hand out for the other half as I sat back down to eat.

He didn't say anything for a while. We ate our banans in silence.

He finally cracked. “Leo took just as many classes and he passed all, but one with flying colors. You even studied more than him.”

He. Really. Did. Not.

I stand up. He finally looks at me. I see his apologetic eyes, but I wasn’t going to take it. Not today. “Thanks for the lunch, dad.” I kiss his cheek and head to my room.

I knew he was going to come up to apologize and comfort me, even though it was both our faults for passing that boundary. We both knew talking about my siblings irritated me. My dad always says he never compares me to my older siblings, but he’s just lucky I don’t lash out every time he does.

I grab my keys. I wasn’t sure where I’d go, but I’m not going to take his pity after he knocked me out the ring. I was going to walk out strong. I’m not going to throw some tantrum. What is that going to do? I just got over being a failure. I already brought myself up. Why go back down?

This is stupid. AP test scores shouldn’t be something to cry about. They shouldn’t be something to fight about.

Just like I expected, I opened my door and see my father in a contemplative stance. We stare at each other.

“Jessica asked me to come over. She has to cook for a family thing and needs help.” I squeeze my way past him. I knew I was going to lose it if I stayed any longer.

I briskly walk to my car. My dad followed, but I pressed forward.

“I’m sorry, Tiffany.” He says as I enter my car.

I smile bitterly, not making eye contact with him. “I’m okay. I swear.” I close my door and lock the doors.

He tried opening the door. “Let’s talk about it!” I hear him scream.

I slightly roll down the window. “Move,” I honked, “Or I’m going to hit you!”

I’ve never sounded so hostile to my father. I remember his astonished face. I remember zooming past the house hearing him scream. “You crazy child!”

I remember seeing his figure fading away in my rearview mirror. I remember having to slow down because it’s not legal to drive 40 miles per hour in the neighborhood.

I remember contemplating driving into another car, hoping to kill myself.

Tiffany Hwang, that would be a stupid way to die.

When my suicidal thoughts caved in, I decided to pull over. I began thinking about the lesson about road rage Driver’s Ed. I’m just like the corny actors in the video, raging over stupid things.

I pull my keys out. Closing my eyes, I pull my knees in close, hugging them with all my might.

I never liked driving and I always thought ‘going for a drive’ never worked on me because I was always focused on the road, but I always felt safe in my car.

The phone sitting in the car’s cup holder started vibrating. I clicked one of the volume buttons to stop my phone from ringing and switched it to silent mode.

I put my keys back in. I was going to drive to my taekwondo dojo.

It was a pretty far drive, but I felt it was something I needed.

Never in my life have I used my martial arts to exert anger. There was one time Jessica and I were hanging out when her creepy ex showed up. I had to defend myself from a knife fight, but that was more adrenaline and energy than rage. In class and even in sparring, I was just in my own little world. I wasn’t stressed. I wasn’t worrying about anything, but myself.

When I got to the building, I texted my old teacher, telling him I was in the building. No one appeared to be here.

I wasn’t thinking logically. Why would I go all the way here without know if it was open? Do I even have gear?

He texts me that it was okay for me to train and that the key code was the same. I felt some sort of relief.

I opened my trunk. Like I predicted, I had no gear. I found some running shorts and athlete’s tape. I guess I’d just have to make do.

I entered the building and went straight to the locker room. The smell was so nostalgic. After graduating, I decided to quit, just to make saying goodbye easier.

I quit because I wanted to get a job. Scratch that. I quit because my parents wanted me to get a job.

I aggressively bit the tape off my new wrapped hands. I shoved everything in a locker and went to the mats. I warmed up by running a few laps around the perimeter. I was hoping it would ease some tension.

Nothing had cleared my mind.

I moved to a bag and threw some jabs at it.

Damnit dad. I just wanted two words from you: It’s okay or I understand. I throw a kick.

Damnit Michelle. Damnit Leo. Why did you have to be so smart? Why do I have to be under your shadow? I pushed the bag.

Damnit Mr. Berner. Damnit Mr. Pullen. Damnit Ms. Delarosa. I threw more punches.

Damn all those sleepless nights. Damn all those days I decided to procrastinate. Damn all the times I cared about my extracurriculars over school. Damn myself for not trying hard enough.

“!” I throw another kick, pushing the bag over.

I was shaking with anger and breathing heavily. 

“I’m sorry.” Jessica’s quiet voice booms through the building.

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A/N: Hey guys~ So what'd you think? I promise, this is CRITICAL for the next chapter. Like. I wanted to keep writing, but I needed to post ASAP.

Why? IT'S MY AFF ANNIVERSARY~~~

so yeah. yay me? 

I know I've been lazy with thanking everyone, but I honestly just have no time anymore ^^'. So I just want to thank all of you~ I appreciate all the comments and you know I try to always respond! Upvotes give me life even though the story isn't even finished :P This makes me motivated to FINISH. Subscribers, ALL 76 OF YOU, I love you so, so, SO MUCH! I hope you guys are enjoying the story[:

Please anticipate much angst and stubbornness and cuteness next chapter!