. I thought while pacing back and fort at the gym while our maknae is watching me with the same frustrated face that I have. " Ani. this is so not happening to me! How can I not know?!" And I hit myself for being forgetful.

Of course he'll be back. He still works here duh! Dara you are so stupid!

They're going back today. this is real. I'm gonna see him again.

3 months after we broke up. Can't I have a longer time?

"Dara unnie maybe you should relax? I mean you seem ok these past weeks so what's the problem now? I thought you said you've moved on already?" Minzy tried to calm me and pulled me to sit beside her.

"I've been ok because I don't see him Minzy! because he's in another country away from me! and now that he's back..." I stopped and took a deep breathe to stop the tears from falling. No Dara you're done crying! you promised you will not cry for him anymore. you promised to be strong.

But Minzy caught on and just hugged me "Unnie you really should let it all out. You have the tendency to keep it all to yourself, pretending to be ok. That's not healthy unnie! we were even more worried when we didn't see you cry and just acted like nothing happened when you should be crying and cursing oppa. it's just me and you here, no one will judge you if you decide to be weak right now." Minzy tried to console me.

But being the stuborn girl that I am, I rebuilt the protective wall, held my head high and look at her straight in the eyes.

"No Minzy. Why would I cry? why would I be weak? we both decided to end it. it's mutual. I... I don't feel anything for him anymore. it's just that... it would be awkward if we ever see each other again right now." not sure if i'm trying to convince her or myself.

Minzy just looked at me and shook her head "It can't be that easy Dara Unnie. you and oppa have been together for six years and i've been one of the witnesses of your love and how you fought for each other. now you expect me to believe that everything is over with just a phonecall? I think the both of you should talk personally when he gets back." 

I laughed bitterly. "yeah that would be easy huh. as easy as breaking up through a six minute phone call. as easy as throwing away those six years for a model whose been keeping him company, entertaining him while his girlfriend is away in another country doing anything she can to find a way to spend even just a day with him. yeah sure i'll talk to him Minzy-yah" 

She sighed, feeling helpless "Unnie, we're not really sure if oppa is really having an affair with kiko. atleast talk to him first, clear everything up. maybe this is all just a misunderstanding? You had fights before and you surpassed each of them. are you gonna really throw everything away knowing that you still have a chance to fix it?"

[Throwback]

August 2014

I knocked at his studio, praying to God that he isn't experiencing a hangover.

The door opened and youngbae's face greeted me "oh Noona! You here to see Ji?"

"Hi Bae!" I smiled nervously at him "Is he there?" He just nodded "Is... Is this a bad time?" I asked hesitantly.

youngbae just opened the door wider to let me in "I wouldn't say he's in a good mood but you can try. He's really upset about last night" 

I bit my lip now that I feel more guilty about not being able to attend his birthday party last night. 

I took a deep breathe and start to approach him. 

His back was turned to me while he is scribbling something on the music sheet he's currently working at.

youngbae cleared his throat to get his attention "hey Ji i'll just go get some coffee. You two talk ok? be back later" not even 5 seconds passed and Youngbae was out of the studio.

Wow thanks a lot youngbae.

I approached the suspiciously quiet dragon ,hugged him from behind and hid my face on the crook of his neck.

"Baby i'm really sorry about last night. I really tried to come but the meeting took longer than I expected and I can't just bail out on them. The magazine executives are there"

But he still continue writting like I wasn't there at all. And quiet Jiyong is not a good thing. 

I need to unleash the ultimate weapon.

"jiyooooong" I tried to get his attention by being as cute as possible. "Oppaaaa". Still no effect.

 "Baby boy"  I whispered and kissed a sensitive spot on his neck. He stilled.

Gotcha

"What are you doing here noona? Aren't you busy?"

I pouted at his sarcastic answer. He really is mad.

"I cleared all my schedule today so I can spend the day with you." I turned his chair and climbed in his lap and cuddle up to him.

Ah this is exactly where I want to be. My safe haven.

"Even Chaerin was able to attend my party. I waited for you last night" he said as he adjusted me so I could be more comfortable on his lap.

I smiled. My Jiyong is back.

"I'm sure you had fun last night though. Chaerin told me your other "girlfriend" was there." I .

But to be honest I feel a little jealous because even though Kiko is recieving a lot of hate, she still got to be "G-Dragon's