We’ve known each other when I was still in high school and you’re in middle school.We entered the company the same year and were in the same dance class together.I was shocked and confused when I saw you on the same class as me since I know that the said class is supposed to be an ALL BOYS class. I asked you… 

“Why are you in this class? You’re a girl right? Or… not?” you slapped my arm for you felt insulted and answered me with a shrug; you’re not sure why you’re in the same class as me and the rest of the boys.

The teacher came in and we started the class immediately. I was worried that you might not be able to stand this class since it’s a different and higher level than with the girls’ dance class. But I guess I was wrong. I looked at you on the mirror and saw how great you are. You’re in the same level as me and the rest of the boys in the room. No wonder the company put you in this class.

“Hyoyeon-sshi!” I called you right after our class. You turned around and looked at me with wide eyes.

“I now know why you’re in the boys’ class.” you still looked at me with confused eyes then I continued. “It’s because you’re god damn great! You’re good at popping! Good job!” I guess I praised you too much that you blushed. I find that cute about you. I really admire your skills. I find a liking in you that I always look forward to our dance class in order to see you and your skills. 

After years of being a trainee, I was finally put in a group and am hoping to debut real soon. You congratulated me. You said: 


“Congratulations Hyukjae oppa! I knew you’d debut soon.” I saw your smile that captivated my heart in an instant. From then on, I was sure. I love you. I love you Kim Hyoyeon. I didn’t know where I found the courage but I confessed to you the next day. Of course you’re in shock. I was prepared to leave and give up when you suddenly spoke those words. “I love you too oppa.” Again, I saw your smile which made my heart flutter. 

But since I was busy preparing to debut with the rest of the guys, we seldom see each other. But I’m glad that you still care for me. You always leave a box of dinner or snack outside the studio whenever it’s getting late. Leaving a note such as 

“Oppa fighting!”

“Don’t overwork yourself too much.”

“I’m sorry I’m not the one who prepared this. It’s mom but I’m the one who delivered it. So eat well okay? ^_^” 

I felt so touched every time I read your notes. The guys tease me but I didn’t care since I’m proud to have a girlfriend like you.

I’ve always thought that we’ll be able to spend time together. But for the second time, I was wrong. I’m not sure but I’m always wrong when it comes to you. We debuted and became really busy and have lost contact with you. Though we’re in the same company, I still can’t meet you. Not long after, you debuted with So Nyuh Shi Dae. We were there on the same music program when you performed your debut song and finally, I met you again.

“Hyoyeon sshi.” I started. It felt like we last met ages ago. You’ve grown very pretty. “You look different.” Those words suddenly came out of my mouth. I felt embarrassed that I looked down on my feet.

“Of course! I’m already18! It’s been 5 years since we last met.” I looked at you and saw you smiling. You were right. It has been 5 years ago when we first met.

“Finally. You debuted. We can meet like this again.” I grabbed her hands and looked straight into her eyes. “I missed you. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too oppa.”

I was too happy that I forgot about the company rule for idols: Dating is forbidden. Most especially if they are in the same company.

It was my fault. I asked you to go on a date with me. We were so carefree that we totally forgot that we already debuted and are both public figures now. The next day, a paparazzi picture surfaced on the internet. Netizens and fans have mixed reactions. Some do not care and some were in a rage. The company met us and punished us. They took away our hand phones and prevented our groups to see each other in one program. 

I told you that we can make it through together. Weeks became months and I felt like we’re growing apart. Not being able to see and talk with each other made it difficult for the both of us. Finally, we found a time to snuck out and meet. It was a different meeting from our previous meetings. We didn’t hug each other or even held hands. We just stand and stared at each other’s eyes for along while before you spoke.

“Let’s… stop this.” Your eyes arealready welling up and you’re playing with your fingers, avoiding my eyes.

“What do you mean?” I said, pretending not to know what you are saying.

“We can’t… we can’t continue our relationship oppa…” your voice is already trembling and I saw a tear drop on your hands but you quickly wiped it off. “Let’s just… focus on our careers… isn’t… isn’t debuting and performing on stage the reason why we auditioned in the company in the first place? Not… Not to fall inlove…” you’re crying now. I lift my hand to wipe them off your cheeks but I pulled it back. 

“You’re right. I’m… I’m sorry Hyoyeon… I… Ibrought you into this. I’m sorry.” I don’t know what to respond that I ended up apologizing to you. I want to apologize for a million times. I was selfish to keep you to myself. I ignored your dream… OUR dream… we came here because of that. But we fell in love in the process. It’s not wrong to have fallen in-love. But what’s wrong is that I ended up hurting the person I love… 

We’re still busy in our own careers but this time, we can meet and smile together peacefully. We started as friends and we shared the same hardships being a trainee and an idol. It’s been long years but I’m glad there’s no big change in our relationship. I’ve always believed that we’ll be together soon. But for the third time… I was wrong. Congratulations on your wedding. Thank you for the memories you have given me. I will cherish it in my heart forever. 

I love you and goodbye…

From the monkey you once loved,

LeeHyuk Jae.

~*~*~*~

sorry, this is sad.. again.. hehe..^^'