By the time they reached the restaurant that Jongin had suggested, Wendy had already lost any will that she might have had to hang out with him. They sat down and she pointed at the first thing that she saw on the menu, not caring much about flavour or texture, because she knew that her appetite was long gone. Jongin, however, took his time looking through pages, commenting on this or that dish, while looking at her with a smile every now and then.

Wendy was tired. Yixing had denied being angry at her, but she knew better. Or maybe angry wasn’t the right word to use here. He looked… sad. She mentally went through all the things that they did in the afternoon, but she couldn’t find a reason for the sudden awkwardness, other than her previous arrangement with Jongin. She was aware that for some reason, Yixing did not approve of the Korean man. Normally, it wouldn’t phaze her, because she was used to deciding for herself and not letting her friends influence her too much in her private matters, but it felt different this time.

Yixing was much too important for her to ignore and her conscience kept reminding her of it every five seconds. She couldn’t understand what was so wrong about dating Jongin, but she also felt that it just wasn’t right.

Needless to say, she was sad, frustrated and completely confused.

‘How was your day?’ Wendy asked weakly, attempting to give the man in front of her all her attention since she’d realised that he, too, had fallen absolutely silent some minutes before.

‘I think the question should be, how was your day?’ He smiled, smoothlychanging the topic. ‘You have a very attentive boss, you know. Does he always take you home after work?’ Wendy flustered, although she could clearly see that the man was just lightly teasing her.

‘We weren’t exactly in the company building. I mean, it’s Saturday. We did work, just not… there.’ She finished lamely, losing plot.

‘Oh? In his house, then?’ Jongin feigned an innocent smile, but Wendy’s face immediately fell.

‘No, of course not!’ It came out stronger than she thought, because she rose from her chair, completely appalled by the innuendo. Having realised that half of the restaurant’s guests was  suddenly watching her with interest, she quickly took her seat again, adding in a loud whisper. ‘He’s a perfect gentleman, I’ll have you know. That, and I would never agree to meet you if I were seeing somebody else. Whomever that may be.’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. It seems that I have chosen the wrong way to lighten up the atmosphere.’ He apologised, patting her hand a few times, before withdrawing his. ‘But whatever is  not happening between you and him is kind of what I want to talk to you about.’

Wendy took a sip of her water, trying to get rid of the frown marring her face, but it wasn’t easy. Right now, Yixing was a very sensitive topic. She looked to Jongin, expectantly.

‘Look, I know that you and I barely know each other, but I’m quite good at reading people.’ He smiled at her, knowingly. ‘To be perfectly honest, I haven’t really been romantically involved with anybody since I came to China and when Sooyoung told me about her single friend, I thought that I had nothing to lose by meeting you and a lot to gain, actually. New company, friendship, possibly even a relationship.’ He sighed, amused. ‘You’re an interesting person, Wendy Son, but I think you will agree with me that we will never progress to anything more than we already are.’

‘Well..’ Wendy her lips, unsure of her response. A part of her was completely taken aback by the frankness with which Jongin stated his opinions, but the other was unnaturally relieved. Relieved that a hot, single guy didn’t find her equally attractive and decided to end their blossoming affair prematurely.

Yeah, that made perfect sense.

‘You’re quickly becoming a good friend of mine and I want to keep it that way if I can help it. I mean, we may not be one hundred percent compatible but there is a certain understanding that makes our bond comfortable and enjoyable. In the future, we could possibly take it from there… except that I kind of see that we never even had a chance to begin with. Regardless of whether I feel a pull towards you or not, you would never let me see that side of yourself, so I think it’s unfair to you, and especially to me, to even try and force it.’

‘I don’t follow.’ Wendy admitted slowly after a moment of gathering her thoughts. ‘I came here today with the intention to apologise to you and ask you to perhaps take our dates more seriously from now on. There is nothing I can do about the fact that I work a lot, but I can definitely dedicate more time and concern to forming a relationship, something I have to say I haven’t been wholly invested in, despite seeing you for a while. It’s true that we are quite different, but it’s not necessary a bad thing - I’ve really enjoyed my time with you so far and I got an impression that you like me, too, so-‘

‘I do!’ Jongin cut in, chuckling. ‘I do like you a lot.’

‘…What is your point, Jongin?’ Wendy eventually asked, puzzled. ‘I like you and you like me. What is the reason why you suddenly decided that we cannot see each other romantically anymore?’

‘Because while you might like me, it’s very clear to me that you are in love with somebody else, so of course, that means I will never have a chance with you.’ Jongin said, looking at her sympathetically. ‘I would be affronted, you know, except that you seem to be either completely oblivious to your feelings or in absolute denial – I don’t know what’s worse, actually.’

‘I’m in love with- What are you even talking about?’ Wendy frowned in exasperation. ‘In order to be in love with somebody, I would first have to have some close male friends, which I don’t. I’m sorry if you were misinformed about my supposed popularity, but I haven’t been in a proper relationship for a long time, mostly because of the lack of opportunities. Now you’re turning me down for an unfounded reason like that, which makes me think that you simply don’t find me attractive.’

‘No, Wendy, I-‘ He tried to refute but she didn’t let him finish.

‘If that’s the case, you can just tell me, Jongin. I’m a big girl, I can take it. Wouldn’t be the first time - I mean, my previous boyfriend dumped me for my own brother, why should I even expect anything anymore…’

Jongin’s mouth fell open, completely taken aback by Wendy’s unexpected outburst. She had belatedly realised what a tongue slip she had made but she felt too frustrated to be mortified about it. It was not some cheap novel where she had to be protected from the truth – rejection was always bitter, but still felt much, much better than excessive sugar coating. If Jongin didn’t like her, there was nothing wrong with that. After all, she herself had been wondering all this while whether what she felt towards him was strong enough to pursue a relationship.

‘That is not true at all.’ He finally said, deciding not to comment on the last part of her rant. ‘You misunderstood me. I like you, Wendy, and under different circumstances, we could probably have a chance, but you can’t like me, when you’re already in love with Zhang Yixing.’

‘With whom?’ Wendy blinked.

‘You know, you friend… boss… friend.’ Jongin mocked good-naturedly. ‘And judging from the way you two interact, you must have been for quite some time now.’

‘Jongin, are you still going on about that?’ Wendy finally recovered from her speechlessness. ‘I have already explained to you what sort of relationship the two of us share. I’ve been by his side practically from the moment he created his company, so of course he’s more of a friend than a regular co-worker. I do rely on him a lot, but that’s because I treasure his opinions. Believe me, if you knew him as well as I do, you would appreciate his companionship as well – he’s smart and has a very positive personality, and he’s always kind to everyone around him. He’s definitely the nicest person I’ve met in my life, so-‘ Wendy abruptly stopped, seeing Jongin quietly laughing at her from across the table. Her face immediately fell. ‘I’m not falling for this trap again.’

‘It’s not a trap. It’s the truth. You, Wendy Son, are deeply and irrevocably in love with the nicest and most positive person on Earth, Zhang Yixing.’ Jongin kept laughing. Wendy huffed.

The childish ‘I’m not.’ was her only defence.

‘Then who is the first one to know when something significant happens in your life?’ He asked, looking at her sharply.

Wendy hesitated for a moment, the afternoon tea breaks that she often took with Yixing springing into her mind. It was true that they had a habit of discussing many personal matters and seeking each other’s views on them. But surely, that was justifiable….

‘…Probably Yixing, but-‘

‘Whom do you spend most time with?’ Jongin pressed and Wendy sighed.

‘Obviously Yixing, but-‘

‘And whose voice do you want to hear when you’re feeling down?’

‘Yixing, but- This is not fair.’ She complained. ‘I work with Yixing long hours and I see him a lot outside of the company, too, so of course I see him most often. It’s natural that he know me inside out, just like I know him. This is pure coincidence, you know.’

‘The person I spend most time with is my co teacher and he knows jack about me.’ Jongin chuckled again, but his expression eventually softened. ‘I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. If anything, I want you to face the truth and be happy. I bet I’m not the only person who has ever suggested your connection to him, or am I? I know I’m not. If a virtual stranger like me can tell, then it means that you’re in deep. Perhaps you just never noticed when your warm feelings and admiration for him turned into a romantic attachment.’

‘But that would make me the most oblivious person alive, wouldn’t it?’ The girl argued. ‘I mean, sure, he’s very dear to me and he definitely makes me feel special, but that’s just him being nice. He has ways of showing that he cares about somebody without actually spelling it out to them. It makes me embarrassed sometimes, but… Seriously, he’s the kindest person I’ve met in my life. And more than anyone, he deserves to be content in life. I want to see him with somebody that always keeps that lopsided, dimple smile on his lips, because when he’s unhappy, my heart really aches. I don’t really have much of a family, even back home, and Yixing has become that one person that I trust completely and can rely on. He always puts me first, you know, he knows how to console me and just being next to him is already enough to help me through anything that might come. But how does that possibly mean that’ Wendy’s previously fast words faltered and the girl suddenly stilled, realisation downing on her ‘I’m in love with him.’

Jongin nodded, laughing at her mortified expression.

Jongin took her home not long after, only half successfully averting the identity crisis that Wendy was clearly going through. At least she didn’t cry, Jongin thought, but after a few rounds of That’s impossible and It’s all happening in my head, his companion became strangely quiet. That’s when the man called it a night and walked her to her apartment building. He made a few light jokes about her condition not being the end of the world, to which Wendy just nodded numbly and they parted ways, promising to stay in touch.

To her, it was the end of the world.

Wendy returned home, deep in thought. She discarded her shoes at the entrance and sat down on the couch heavily, still in her light coat. Baekhyun was sitting there, munching on fried potatoes and watching something on TV. He barely raised his head, seeing her appear, and he returned to the screen. They sat in silence for a while.

‘Jongin kind of dumped me tonight.’ She announced quietly, to which her brother only snorted lightly, attentions still on his sitcom. ‘But he also said something terrifying.’

When she still got no reaction, she faced him.

‘Baekhyun.’ Wendy finally called out to her brother. ‘I think I am in love with Yixing.’ Then she let out a soft sob.

She heard the crackling noise halt as Baekhyun’s hand stilled. He slowly turned to her and put away the snack, and then turned off the TV set. She saw no mocking in his eyes as he approached and sat beside her. He sighed.

‘Yes, I think you are.’ He confirmed and at that, Wendy started crying. She cried like never before.

Wendy had never been the type of resort to tears when unhappy, but this time, they simply wouldn’t stop flowing. She shed them long minutes, silently, with only her shoulder shaking. She bit her lower lip to stop the storm that was raging in her heart, but that only intensified the feelings of distress and misery. Eventually Baekhyun placed his hand on her back, massaging it slowly in circular motions. If Wendy bothered to look at him, she would notice that he, too, had tears in his eyes, looking devastated and feeling even more helpless at a rare sight that were his older sister wrenched sobs.

But only Wendy herself knew what she was really pouring her heart out for. They were tears that she had kept inside for years and never fully let out. Tears of constant disappointment with her parents, of numerous burdens that she had had to carry since young age due to their divorce, of her brother’s betrayal, of loneliness that she felt deep within sometimes – finally, tears of fear that she would lose the one person she had allowed herself to fully rely on.

Being too strong and practical ultimately proved to be her weakness.

Wendy and Baekhyun sat there for a long time, threading their fingers at some point and holding hands tightly, each mourning for their personal demons. It briefly occurred to the girl that in all the years they clung onto each other for support, they never shared such a bare, intimate moment.

‘How could you do this to me?’ Wendy didn’t know when those words slipped through her lips, but she suddenly felt the urge to scream out everything that she had chosen to hold back the last time they saw each other. She was still sobbing as she continued. ‘I practically raised you, you ungrateful brat. All those years when mother and father juggled us in between them, tossing us from one house to another, when father was always at work and mother always neglected us in favour of her friends and country club activities – you were always my priority. Always. I fed you, read your bed time stories and let you sleep in my bed when you were too afraid of the monsters hiding underneath your bed. I packed your stupid lunch box and walked you to school every day. I lent you all the money I’d saved for my first car so you could secretly attend some art course. For which, by the way, you still haven’t paid me back, you stupid little .’

She released his hand, and grabbed his shoulders instead, shaking him violently. Wendy realised how shocked Baekhyun had to be in that moment, how much out of a character it was for her to behave like this when she had always been patient with him, but she didn’t care. She was so mad, so tired. She needed to let it all out before she exploded.

Baekhyun just let her, guilt freezing him on the spot.

‘We were so different but I always took care of you, gave you everything you wanted. So why did you betray me like that?’ She quietened, no more tears left to shed. She stopped pounding her fists against Baekhyun’s arms and chest. She ran out of strength completely. ‘How could you do this to me? How could you be so heartless?’ She whispered, leaning away from him and onto the couch behind her back. She hid her face in her palms, taking deep breaths.

The drama part of the Wendy spectacle was over. Or at least she hoped so.

She certainly felt better, which was odd.

‘Do you hate me?’ Baekhyun eventually asked in a small voice. He, too, had calmed down, but didn’t meet her eye. She sighed, her breath still shaking from the tears that blocked .

‘How can I hate you, Baek? Even when I hate you, I still love you. You’re the only real family I have. They only family I still haven’t given up on.’ She corrected. ‘That time when I caught you two here… I said many hurtful things, but I wanted to say more. You hurt me deeply, but you probably didn’t even realise why I was so angry.’

‘I know now… I know.’ Shame and apologies was what she often saw and heard from her brother but this time, it seemed more honest. ‘This must sound rich, coming from me, but I respect you a lot. I never meant to hurt you, not intentionally anyway. I just… wasn’t thinking. Which is nothing new.’ He mumbled to himself, self disappointment in his eyes. ‘I don’t know what I would do if I could turn back time. I regret having done that to you, but… I can’t regret Chanyeol. I just can’t.’ He sighed.

Wendy gave him a long, almost sympathetic stare.

‘You love him very much, don’t you?’ Baekhyun made no movement to confirm or deny, he was clearly uncomfortable with excessive sentimentality, but the girl had all the answers she needed. She nodded to herself. ‘If you had come to me that time and said that you fancied him…. I don’t know what I would have done, actually. I would have probably laughed in your face, but at least I would have been aware of your intentions and prepared for the unexpected that you have a habit of always dragging me into. Instead, you pulled the rug from underneath my feet cruelly. I know you don’t play by the rules, but have mercy, will you?’

He didn’t reply. She rubbed her forehead.

‘What does it feel like, being in love? I’ve been in love once, twice even. None of it felt like what I feel for Yixing. That’s why… I can’t be in love with him. I don’t want to be.’

‘Noona, you’ve been in love with him long before you even met Chanyeol. Every since you’ve moved here, it’s always only been Mr. Zhang this, Mr. Zhang that. The two of you share something real, even if it’s only friendship for now. And what’s so wrong with being in love with him, anyway?’ Her brother’s voice had gradually gained strength, albeit still a bit hoarse from the tears shed.

Wendy shook her head, unable to pinpoint where the beginning of the list even was.

‘Has something happened between you and your boss today? I thought you were spending the day with that Joongmin or whatever his name was.’

‘It’s Jongin, and what happened was that I was helping Yixing out at the dog shelter and I just… forgot that I was supposed to meet Jongin. Not one of my best moments.’ Baekhyun opened his mouth to say something, but he ended up scoffing.

‘Seriously, and you still didn’t realise that you liked the other guy better, even after standing up your date for him?’

‘It’s not like I did it on purpose!’ Wendy refuted vehemently, annoyed at her brother’s lack of sympathy. ‘I simply lost track of time. On the contrary to what you might think, I do not ogle Yixing every chance I get. I really enjoy his company, and I was playing with the dogs.’

‘Of course.’ Baekhyun let out a condescending smile, completing forgetting that just moments ago, he was a whimpering mess.

‘You know, the only reason why I’m even confiding in you right now is because I know Sooyoung wouldn’t understand, and I can’t exactly talk to Yixing about my secret love for him, so feel honoured.’ She stilled. ‘Oh my god, I just called it my secret love. I’m so screwed.’ She lamented, mortified.

Baekhyun patted her back lightly.

‘You just asked me what being in love felt like, and I don’t think I’m going to shock you when I say that it feels different depending on a person. I know that you probably don’t want to hear about this, and that it was absolutely shameless of me to approach Chanyeol after what had happened with the three of us, but when I  had first looked at him, I just knew that he’s going to be that one person that is going to infuriate me for the rest of my life.’ Wendy frowned at the strange expression that her brother used. ‘It’s true. We fight a lot, and we want to kill each other half of the time, but it’s the fire and the storm that keeps us alive. Strangely enough, it makes me feel safe and comfortable.’

‘You’re weird. And Chanyeol’s even weirder for putting up with you.’ Baekhyun shrugged.

‘It works for us. Let’s not talk about it, I don’t want to upset you again.’ He nudged her with his shoulder. ‘What does it feel like for you?’

She looked at him, seriously.

‘Your relationship with Chanyeol does not upset me, Baek. I’m genuinely happy for the two of you – I don’t know how, but I just am. I don’t feel comfortable seeing you, of course, but I’m trying my best to get past it. What I want you to realise is that the few jokes and relaxed atmosphere that we’ve shared since then do not make you a reliable person in my eyes. I’m going to always remember this, even though I’ve forgiven you, so if you want to be more than just the irresponsible younger brother that I call every once in a while, get yourself together and prove to me that I can trust you again. Because I really want to, I just don’t know how.’

Baekhyun swallowed hard, taking in her words and trying to collect his own thoughts.

‘You know, this is probably the most honest conversation we’ve ever had.’ He chose to say instead, and Wendy huffed lightly.

‘It’s long overdue then, don’t you think?’

They sat next to each other for a long while, staring in far distance, before Wendy abruptly giggled.

‘How did  Chanyeol not wake up yet? We were crazily noisy.’

‘He did. I saw his head picking out from around the corner, but being the supportive boyfriend that he is, he decided it’s better to leave me alone to my emotional mess.’ Wendy giggled even harder, briefly, but she quietened just as quickly, sighing miserably. Baekhyun sensed her confusion. ‘What are you going to do about Mr Perfect now?’

‘I honestly don’t know. Just now… he got upset with me and I still feel awful. To be the cause of Yixing’s distress… you cannot imagine how horrible that feels.’ Her face fell completely, gloominess enveloping her completely. ‘I’d give anything to make it right again, anything.’ She bit her lower lip, fending off the tears she felt forming in her eyes. She took a deep breath, calming herself.

‘Then do it.’ Baekhyun prompted her strongly. She scoffed.

‘You make it sound like it’s so easy.’

‘Because it is. What did you fight about?’

‘It wasn’t a fight, I think… Yixing doesn’t like Jongin. He never said so, but I can feel it. There is something strange in his expression whenever the topic comes up and he becomes unresponsive. Today we were having fun and then Jongin called, and Yixing just withdrew completely. He cut the afternoon short and took me home, but he said something about wanting to see me happy and that I should only settle only for what I really deserve.’

‘In other words, that Joongmin guy is a total jerk.’ Baekhyun murmured, reaching for his fried potatoes again. As far as he was concerned, the emotional moments were over.

‘He really is not. In fact, he was the one to help me realise tonight that I may be in love with Yixing.’

‘Not maybe – you are in love with him. And what about me? I've been telling you the whole time.’

‘It was different. You always say silly things, but Jongin’s attitude really made me think. I’ve had a few dates in the past, but he was the only person to draw my attention to my unusual behaviour towards Yixing. It made me wonder if perhaps I hadn’t neglected my other potential boyfriends because of that.’

‘They would have never worked out, anyway – in fact, this is exactly why they didn’t. You really shouldn’t overcomplicate this, noona. You should ask your prince out and confess. Can this get any simpler?’

‘I’m going to lose him.’ She said in a small voice. She ran her fingers through her thick hair, frustrated. ‘Everything’s gonna change, especially if he rejects me. It will be awkward and we will have to put distance between us. I think it would kill me if I suddenly had to start avoiding him.’

‘Why would you think that he’s going to reject you? Noona, that man is crazy about you.’

Wendy abruptly turned, looking at Baekhyun, clearly shocked. He dramatically sighed.

‘I’m sorry that I’m being so crude about this, but if someone doesn’t spell it out for both of you, I’m afraid you’ll spend the rest of your life, locked in a strange relationship when you pretty much do everything that couples do, except for and holding hands.’

‘Baekhyun!’ Wendy grimaced. Why did her brother have to be so gross?

‘It’s the truth. Take me seriously for once when I say this, but this whole talk about being happy and settling for a deserving person is a complete and utter bull crap. Those are not words of a concerned friend, who wants the best for you – they are words of a man in love. He may be perfect in your eyes, but he’s only human. Even your prince can be jealous and feel low because of it. I cannot vouch for how aware he is of his feelings, but they are definitely there.’

‘That sounds…’ Wendy didn’t finish, falling deep in thought.

‘That sounds about right. Have you ever seen him with any other women? I bet not.’

‘Of course I have. He’s been to a few dates, we’re close so we would sometimes discuss people we met.’

‘Now that is insane. Why would you talk about your love life with your boss?’

‘Baekhyun…’ Wendy called out, exasperated.

‘Fine. What I’m trying to say is that the two of you have been successfully ruining each other’s love lives since pretty much forever. I mean, you agree to meet that Joongmin guy-‘

‘Jongin.’ She hissed, but he pretended that he didn’t hear her.

‘-but then you spend most of your time discussing him with Yixing. Being so attached to each other is not helping either of you, so from what I see, you have two options: either you confess or you move on. Change job, change address. Anything to put distance between you and him, although of course, this is not at all what you want to do. Only a horribly insecure person would cut all ties without as much as an explanation.’

‘What if I just don’t do anything? What if I go to work on Monday and behave as usual?’

‘Would you like that? Knowing what you already know.’

‘I’m not sure…  He’s still going to treat me like he treats me every day. He’ll take care of me and give me a ride home. We’re going to have afternoon tea and later on, bicker on the phone about all the contracts that we didn’t manage to finish at work on time. This situation makes me feel safe. Secure. I like what we have now.’ She admitted timidly.

‘Then think about it this way – it can only go so far. At some point, come cunning lady will come around and make him fall in love with her. Perhaps it will be genuine love, or maybe just his looks and the financial stability that he offers. Whatever that may be, she will come and take him away, and there is no way he will treat you the same anymore. Not when he has a wife and kids on the way.'

‘There is no way that would happen.’ Wendy refuted quietly, smiling sadly at the thought of Yixing. ‘The person that will move his heart will be good. She will be earnest and hard working, just like him. She will be conscious of nature and ecology, and will not mind riding his scooter everyday to work. She will understand him, because she will be perfect. Just like him.’ She added in a whisper. Baekhyun smiled at her, which quickly turned into a disbelieving laugh.

‘That is you, Wendy Son.’ He looked at her seriously. ‘You are all that, and much more. You’re perfect. Perfect for Yixing.’

‘But I’m just… me. I’m not trying to belittle myself just now, I’m just… me. I’m just average. Normal.’ She shrugged hopelessly.

‘Sometimes being yourself is enough. Actually, it always is. Yixing’s not perfect, noona, but he’s perfect for you. You know him inside out, and yet, you accept him with all his flaws and shortcomings. That’s what really makes him perfect in your eyes.’

‘You really think so?’

‘I know so. You’re so afraid of losing him, but maybe he is, too, sitting in his bedroom at the moment, wondering if he should give the two of you a chance. He’s thinking of all the times he’s seen you with another man and he’s his palms, feeling hopeless. Unrequited love , but that’s not what we’re looking at here, is it? Right now, nobody stands in between you, it’s only the two of you making it hard. You can leave it like that if you like, but at some point, you will want more. You can pretend nothing’s changed, but you know it will never be the same. Whether you get rejected now or remain ignorant for as long as you can, it will eventually make you miserable, my dear sister, the only difference will be time.’

‘When did you get so smart?’ She asked, only half joking, because she knew exactly how true Baekhyun’s words rang. He shrugged, grinning lightly.

‘I have lots of experience.’ She scoffed, whacking him on the shoulder.

‘As if.’

‘I’m serious about what I just said. Whether he realises it or not, Zhang Yixing is in love with you, I’m sure of it. If you want to be with him, then you should stop waiting for some imaginary perfect woman to come and take him away, and you should confess to him, instead.’

‘He’s in love with me… how can I believe that?’ She mused out loud and her brother shrugged again.

‘I guess you need to take a leap of faith here, but it’s just life, noona, not some cheap TV show. Things do not have to be dramatic. You yourself should know best if you have a chance with him. As an outsider, I say you do. You are both extremely compatible. So, what do you say?’

‘It’s hard… it’s embarrassing. Confessing like that, I mean. I’m not in middle school.’

‘Which is why you will not hand him a letter in a pink envelope, but rather smile and honestly convey your hopes and doubts. But first of all, clear all the misunderstandings between you. Tell him that you are not seeing the other guy anymore, and then tell him why. If your boss is even half as smart as you always describe him to be, he will scoop you in his arms in a heartbeat.’

Wendy was staring, ready to bore a hole in her bedroom’s ceiling. Having taken a shower and accepting Baekhyun’s offer of a quick trip to the convenience store downstairs to get some beer, she had returned to her room, already more than aware that she would not get a wink of sleep.

Thinking about Yixing now did not bring the same warm, calming effect as it always had. Instead, she felt the painful knot in her stomach tighten even more. She was nervous and scared. Embarrassed and completely unprepared to be in love. She couldn’t wrap her head around the idea of being in a relationship with Yixing, not yet anyway. All she knew was that she wanted to be in his life for as long as possible.

Thoughts of him reminded her of the photo they had taken together, one which until now, she had not had a chance to look at. She flipped onto her stomach and reached for the cell phone. Quickly searching through her applications and entering the gallery, her eyes finally fell on that particular picture. She clicked to enlarge.

Yixing looked happy. I was there, Wendy reminded herself, I made him happy. At least I hope I did.

She looked some more, noticing how she ended up making half wink, because of the sun shining directly onto her face, and how nice his smile looked with that dimple that she had always liked. He had an innocent aura about him, but was a dependable man who knew what he wanted. He was hard working. Kind. Admirable.

He was everything she could ever want.

Now, if only she could manage not to screw it all up.

She opened her Wechat and entered the chat room that she shared with Yixing. After a short moment of hesitation, she found the photo and sent it to him. She grimaced to herself, already half regretting her boldness. She noticed that he opened the message, so without giving him any time to comment, she quickly wrote more.

Thank you for the wonderful afternoon, and for your advice. You were right, I talked to Jongin and we decided to just be friends. Thanks to both of you, I’ve realised some things about myself today. What and who I really want in my life.

Her hands shook as she typed the sentence.

I booked two tickets for an opening of a photo exhibition this Friday night. Nothing would make me happier than if you could join me.

Wendy sent both messages before she had a chance to back out. It was as straightforward as she allowed herself to be - she was already blushing at what he might think but then again, wasn’t that exactly what she wanted?

Shaking her head vigorously, trying to rid herself of self doubt, she put away her cell, screen down. The dimmed light eventually flashed, barely visible from the way her phone was placed, but it was there. A message came through. Yixing’s reply.

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Changdeol says: I rate this [EA], as in Excessive Angst. I know I said 6 chapters but the story will formall finish at seven, with a short (technically) self contained epilogue.

Thank you guys for all the nice words, I read them and blush, and they totally make my day. Thank you. Especially you, who discovered this story independently of AC, because I swear to God, I cannot find any other XingDy stories and it's such a shame.... So I don't know how you found mine, but THANK YOU.