"You're not gonna eat this?" He raised the sole kimbap from the metal food container that touched her skin. She shook her head to his dismay; there was no point in feeding her. He had tried it many times before, but he knew that gaze and nonchalant behavior had been her practice for God knows when. He was sick of it, he was sick of him, and he could only sigh and rest on the back of the chair as Jackson came up with ways to feed her the last piece of her lunch.

"Y'know, your mom cooks this way better than you do." He fakely commented after nibbling on its exterior.

She focused his attention on him. "That's because she uses a secret mix." Grabbing Jackson's hand, she fed herself and chewed gloriously in front of her friend whose smile widened with each bite she made. She realized the fault that the she had committed, causing her to swallow her food swiftly. "That was supposed to be for you!"

Jackson complained from her consecutive slap. "What was that for?!"

"I'm going to gain pounds tonight!"

"But your mom only packed you three kimbaps! Won't you die?"

"Don't over exaggerate, Jacks!"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Well, we can increase your treadmill time."

"Just don't let me do push-ups, okay?"

Jackson stared at her and examined her change of reaction for a moment. "Perhaps" was an understatement, since she did not get her. At all.

"I won't. You've done a lot of work lately. Too much actually." He said sternly, and his seriousness was making her a tad uncomfortable.

"Tomorrow's Valentine’s, though." She said apologetically. She moved to put back her food container in her backpack and waved goodbye to him with her usual smile which faltered quickly as with her retreating figure after passing a mob of students ready to line up to return the canteen utensils.

He turned to look at a group of guys from his back. Her center of attention glanced at him for a split second and waved back with a forced smile. Jackson knew that he was just being friendly to a younger fellow like him, but he did not like him one bit, especially considering the fact that for all the years that his friend had made sweet treats for him for tomorrow's event since they were freshmen, the annual thank you greeting from him disappointed Jackson as all her efforts were repeated as his acknowledgement. Nevertheless she was a person who chooses her words wisely, therefore coming up with the narration of the consecutive day's happening that sounded new to him, and he found joy in listening to it. 

They were in their third year of high school, Jackson thought as she pulled her arm and retreated from their school to the nearby bus stop. He noticed how she grew taller than him and sulked at that thought, but his heartbeat increased its speed when she fixed his hair in place and whispered how sorry she was for the lunch incident and the sudden rush to go home. In reply Jackson complained about her hastiness as they went inside the bus in Mandarin, causing the unwanted attention of the citizens of the foreign country that his family moved into.

"I understand you, Jia Er."

"Really?" He said in English.

"You little er."

He howled in laughter at her snarly reply, earning more piercing looks of the commuters.

"Hey, see you tomorrow." Jackson patted her shoulder and had a reassuring smile that he selfishly showed her. It his personal goodbye greeting ever since she was instructed by his mom to accompany her best friend's cousin around town. At first she found it uncomfortable to be (her term was babysit when she complained it to her mom during a one-on-one talk) accompanying a boy of different ethnicity almost everywhere, but her best friend had stuck out for her, both physically and emotionally, before her family went back to Hong Kong.

"He's awesome! During reunions his mom gives him the mic to tell jokes, and everybody laughs. I bet he gets the most money from our relatives.*" She recalled her best friend saying. When they first met two days after the Wang family moved in Jackson did prove himself to be quite a natural jokester, and amidst the language barrier his actions did earn him giggles from her accompanying mother. She knew a bit of Mandarin and understood his English, both of which he spoke in impeccably, and after two years of being a student in an international school Jackson was able to convince his parents to let him study at her school, mainly because he was able to grasp the language in merely two years, and it was probably due to mingling with market folks when he goes with his mother and her.

Jackson was a bit of a troublemaker as well, and she remembered that in their freshman year they fleeted from a group of drunkards in Itaewon. It was the first of many times that he had angered her, but on the following days they thought of instances like that as something trivial. On one of their summer vacation trips to the amusement park she bluntly asked why he does all sorts of things that anger his parents, but he replied with a snicker and said “life gets boring sometimes.”

"Other than mom... do you get stressed out with me?"

She stared at the crushed Oreo of the milkshake that he bought for her. "They're fun though."

"I'd hate you said that." He replied with fake disappointment and pulled her to the nearest extreme ride. She regretted how his mom got VIP amusement park tickets on that day, and curses at him for plastering his recurring smirk as they were strapped to the ride securely by the roller coaster staff.

"When we reach the top I want you to say it's awesome being with me." He said as he avoided eye contact, knowing that she was glaring at him.

A mixture of anger, sickness, and adrenaline prevented her from saying anything as their ride rolled on and ascended slowly. Jackson placed a hand on her arm, to which she grabbed furiously and pounded on the barrier between them. The descending exhilaration was too much for her, but she let go of his arm and raised hers too.

"SAY IT!" Jackson demanded.

"YOU'RE INSANE!"

"I LIKE THAT BETTER!"

"You're really weird, you know?"

He grinned proudly and pinched her cheek. "But you still hang out with me."

"I don't have any choice." Jackson became silent and she felt guilty all of a sudden. She nudged her best friend who had a downcast look on his face. "Now, now. I'm only telling the truth."

He tilted his head with a questioned look on his face. "I didn't take that as a compliment."

She slung an arm on his shoulders while her free hand knocked on his head. "Sometimes your brain doesn't work properly. Earth to Jacks!"

In that moment he found no words to say or retort back to her because she was right, and then he realized that she was starting to grow on her. It was a great feeling, he admitted to himself, but precaution formed in him as well.

"Why are you eating a candy bar?"

"I like chocolate."

She got two dumbbells and avoided his look at her. "Stop it."

He started to feel annoyed as well." But I'm hungry."

"You're not really helping."

"Don't get too excited that you lost five kg last week. You didn't do well on the workout plan I gave you."

"Easy for you to say! You breathe exercising."

"That's very complimenting but-"

"But, what?"

Jackson furiously marched up to her and sensed how fearful she was of his presence, although it did not stop him from speaking his mind. "You have been obsessed with that jerk for years. Now if you don't stop starving yourself and running on the treadmill for hours I will eat this chocolate bar in front of you until you beg me for it!" 

Her voice had become soft, and she knew he was glaring down at her, so her eyes were glued on his black Nikes. "The universe ."

She moved away from him and continued to carry the small weights.

"What?"

"Look, I'm doing this for my own good."

"You're outdoing it."

"In a month I'll go from extra large to small." She turned to smile at him, and proceeded on what had kept her occupied before.

"Cut the crap." Jackson angrily replied. Crude language was always part of how they spoke, but it struck her that it was laced with a tone she barely heard from him.

"I will, if you get out of here."

The ?!"

"No.  off, Jacks." 

Jackson’s eyebrows arched and his eyes widened as he exhaled furiously and stormed off her home’s living room. She thought she might have been too hard on him, and unfortunately she was. His last look on her before retreating was not fueled by anger, but rather downcast and concerned.

She talked about the commotion that she had with him yesterday after class, but Jackson shrugged it off and offered to treat her hongeo**.

“But she and I like it!”

She pushed his face away from him. “Don’t practice your date on me! Besides, fermented sting ray is disgusting.”

“Shame on you for shaming your country’s food!” Jackson retorted.

“Look, can’t you just force Youngji to eat with you?”

“My friends chased me earlier because I hid from her.”

“Classic Jackson.” She scoffed.

She wondered why she was left with an ample amount of chocolate mixture. The brown, gooey concoction left in the bowl was tempting to eat, but she remembered that Jackson had already planned on when her cheat day was. Laughing, she swabbed a finger on the side and suddenly thought of an idea. She went upstairs and easily found another box which was quite smaller and simpler than the one she bought a week ago.

Her phone vibrated and answered the caller. Jackson seemed to be in pain on the other line, and after shrieking in pain his mother’s tone can be heard.

“He hit his foot on his room’s doorknob.” His mom reported, who cannot also contain her giggles.

“MOM!”

“Jacks did backflips again? He’s going to have appendicitis too, that’s for sure.” She added.

“HEY!”

“Well, I’m telling the truth!” She defended herself, and cut off the call to take a nap. It was a Thursday night and she turned off the unusually boring line of shows on television. She left her homework unfinished since she and Jackson worked as a team in solving their laboratory manual question guides in Biology. Jackson was in charge of answering the scientific method while he traced her drawings of the specimens dissected or observed at during class.

The colored pencils seemed to pop out of nowhere in her bag as she arranged it that night. She grabbed the pencils’ case and her homework but just as she was about to shade the petals, she paused because of the thought that his copied work would look much plainer than hers, but she carried on anyway. She forgot about the idea of napping as she waited for her homemade circled sweets to cool in the fridge, and for a good thirty minutes, she had finished coloring her flower drawing mainly with different hues of red by just using burgundy and crimson, but it turned out beautiful. She took a photo of it and sent it to Jackson, captioning how it would be hard for him to imitate her work.

“But congratulations on only using two reds! You missed out the stem.”  He replied, and she went downstairs to put the box on the kitchen table where she did her work. She was quicker on her actions than her thoughts while preparing earlier as she meticulously poured the mixture on the second pan. She felt as if it was more tedious and demanding, as if she had never acquired and mastered the skill for the past years.

“I was just in for a nap but I ended up turning off my alarm clock at 6:30. Same old, same old.”

“But looks like you had a good sleep. Did you dream about me?” Jackson said cheekily and poked her cheek.

She swatted off his finger and disgustingly looked at him. “So, how’s your foot? Do I need step on it again?”

“You want chocolates? Somebody left it on our mail post. Guylian! These are the bomb.” He handed one in hopes of cheering her up.

“Our cheat day’s tomorrow, did you forget?”

“Right.” He affirmed, and put back the seahorse-shaped chocolate in its container.

“Jackson, these are for you,” A girl from a lower year shyly handed him a pouch of sweets tied with a gold ribbon. “It’s my first time making these.”

He patted her head and said goodbye to her as he dashed for the class after their break. That morning he found small packages and a box on his desk, all with names of the senders. Jackson was known to be a ladies’ man in their institution, but he never dated anyone since moving from Hong Kong, although he did acknowledge every woman who had affections for him by treating them properly.

Messing his hair, he sat on the edge of the window he opened and ate the chocolate that was just given to him. Looking down, his face squinted with the bitter flavor at the taste of dark chocolate and saw a group of boys playing football. His hatred for the sport first developed when he arrived in Korea where basketball was underrated, thus more students flock the freezing, open seats that surround the field. His eyes narrowed on the tall, swift boy with a fringe playing aggressively below. The team halted their game and was quickly surrounded by a group of females, particularly the tall, fringe-haired boy. Jackson was nowhere near in the area where they were standing, but from where he was he knew that his senior had that tight, unpleasant smile that he always showed his admirers. It was from this observation that made him vow to himself to never fend off people, and after he came to realize his solid affection for his best friend was overshadowed by an unrealistic fantasy with stern-looking with an equally stern attitude towards others.

He parted his attention from the group and continued eating. With time Jackson learned to love his gift from the sophomore. More of his classmates began entering the room, and he waved with a piece of chocolate in his hand. His antics had embarrassed his crush countless times already, yet instead of being immune she had gradually found it amusing.

“What have you been up to?” He asked.

“Biology homework! For Christ’s sakes Jacks, why did you give me the other page which is NOT our assignment? I skipped lunch for it!”

“This is the right moment to present you this,” he held the chocolate piece elegantly. “There’s more of that where it came from.”

“Jacks!” She fumed out, but he opened his mouth wide and raised it near to her own mouth. Gingerly chewing, Jackson was as pleased as her reaction to what he fed her and gave her more.

“You guys aren’t even dating but you’re cute!” An observing classmate exclaimed.

“Thank you!”

“The pleasure is all ours.” She sarcastically replied, which was hugely different from her best friend’s.

“Anyway, I think we should go home early. Roads are gonna be congested. Fridays are ed up, but it’s okay. Chocolate got us covered.”

“Good point, but I’m not eating yours.”

“I’m going to share.” Jackson answered annoyingly, grabbing a box from his desk and poking her arm with it.

“As I’ve said before, I’m going to share these!”

The thin white blanket that covered the sidewalks of Seoul suddenly looked unamusing to her. She turned to her consistent bus mate, hoping that their conversation would bring her more interest than the view from outside, although she knew that she was in for one anyway. “Look Jacks, imagine you’re a girl.”   

“Oh, okay.” Jackson handed to her the chocolate box with two hands raising his pinkies, and he giggled shrilly.

“Nah, it’s better you hold this.”

“Alright, girl!”

“Don’t be in character too much.” She scolded, as she noticed numerous pair of eyes looking at them cautiously.

Obediently, he nodded and slapped his cheek. “Yeah, okay.”

“Now, imagine you made that, and the person you gave it to giving it to someone else.”

“So you want all of this, huh?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“No, wait. . My Korean screwed up again. We can either divide this or if you want you could have it for yourself.”

“Jacks…”

“Well, what is it that you don’t get in sharing?”

“I just don’t want to eat, okay?”

He slumped his back on the seat and rolled his eyes at her stubbornness. “You don’t want to? I live two bus stops away from you. Don’t expect me to drive dad’s car to the hospital. I don’t have a license.”

She suddenly laughed, and his eyebrow twitched upwards in confusion and anger. “Wait, what? Jacks, we seem to not be on the line. Look, girls give you chocolates on Valentine’s. Only for you. You know, when you give me their chocolate sometimes I think I’m a lesbian.”

“I hate you!” He shrieked at her.

“Same, get off this stop.”

“Right on time, ahjussi! Thanks! Oh, see you tomorrow.” Jackson greeted goodbye with his usual pat. It was like any other day, except for the nationwide chocolate-giving tradition that occurred on that day, and he did hope he received a box from her.

After dinner she hurried outside and braved the cold February night. She was nervous yet excited at this experience that she had never done before, and as she rode the bus destined to pass two stops, she became more agitated as her fear and embarrassment also increased. Exhaled air became thicker in front of her face as she made her way to Jackson’s neighborhood. It was much quieter and less bright than the establishments facing the river that surrounded enclosed the affluent location. She knew very well that her family could not afford Jackson’s lifestyle, who, also as a foreigner, was a common face in Hannam-dong. A number of their schoolmates also reside in the neighborhood, and she hope not to get caught by one of them.

It was quite an agonizing walk as the snow did lessen, but as the night grew deeper so did the coldness. She had become more sensitive to the cold due being increasingly thin for the past months, and she loved herself for easily crossing her legs every time she sat. It was a trend at that moment to be like those that clothes boutique dress and show in front of their store, and she figured out that it was a fad that would not be gone for a while. Back then she often wondered why Jackson had shown disdain for stick-thin girls that she had wanted to become and blamed his American way of thinking, but except for her parents, his parents, and especially Jackson, everybody had criticized her for having extra pounds.

The playground that she and Jackson were at her sight. From a distance she saw two figures, the taller one looking very familiar. She always acknowledged herself for getting good genes in eyesight, but as she drew in closer she had not mistaken that it was him. She continued to walk in the orange-lit sidewalk where few were passing by, much less on her direction. She became much lighter on her steps and walked briskly, wanting to avoid recognition, but as she was used to it, she was not welcomed for any form of greeting. It came to a small yet great shock to both her and the boy when his female companion suddenly kissed her and greeted him goodbye as she skipped off to a waiting car across the playground. She noticed how he was appalled at the aftershock of the quick peck by, from what she assumed, the rumored girl that he was seeing from another school.

It was a mistake that she did not bring her scarf amidst the cold and supposed face recognition theory, since the latter had already happened. His sharp, intimidating eyes quickly took sight of her fast, retreating figure. He did not know why he called her, but he was in so much daze that when she turned her back on him he found nothing to say about.

“Do you live here?”

“I don’t. My friend does.”

“Oh cool. I see you often here. Are you and Jackson really close?”

She nodded and saw how red he still was. “I think you should go home now. You’re really red.”

“Wait, I’d just like to ask. H-how did you…”

She sent him a questioning look, but he faced the ground and noticed how he looked deeply troubled. “Hey, are you okay?”

He did not respond.

She patted his thick coat with two fingers, but to no avail. “Hey, Doojoon,” She finally called out. “Are you alright?”

“Not really. As you’ve seen earlier my crush ambushed me with a kiss.”

She chuckled. “Isn’t that something great to consider?”

“It didn’t feel like it was special.”

“Maybe you feel the aftershock later.”

“Maybe I will. Anyway, should I take you to where his place is?”

“No, it’s fine. What is it that you’re going to ask me?”

“The chocolate box. Why’s it smaller?”

“You noticed? Well, I kind of ran out of boxes.”

“You will wait for my response next month, would you?” He asked immediately. She was waiting for that statement for the past three years, but she found her head shaking.

“Someone else deserves a bigger box than you, Doojoon.”

“Hey, wait up.”

“NO! IT’S FREEZING OUT HERE!” She screamed over their intercom. Tiptoeing and furiously jumping to produce heat, she waited for minutes before Jackson got out with a scarf on his hand.

“Well you aren’t lying, but what brings you here?” He inquired and noticed the fog of smoke as he spoke.

“It’s overrated to give you this to school because so many people are there and earlier I bumped in to Doojoon but great I don’t like him as much as before so it’s cool and-“

Jackson jumped on his place and carried her. He was overjoyed and she felt it too. “I’ve been waiting for this for ages but I didn’t expect that you’d give me today!”

She snatched the box from him and playfully glanced at him. “When do you expect to get it, then?”

“I don’t know. Next year? Or much later than that.” His fingers glided on her palm until he finally clasped it and his thumb on her own. “We had an awesome dinner, so eat with me before I take you home.”

“Tomorrow’s cheat day!”

Jackson pulled her to hasten her walking towards their house. “Tonight’s cheat day, tomorrow’s cheat day. Heck, screw your starving . I’m going to feed you right.”

She doubtingly looked at him.

“Okay, maybe mom.”

As he preheated the dinner he was still overwhelmed at how her confession was surprising yet sweet. He grabbed for her warming hand that held the delicate teacup across the table. “Guys do what you did, but lately we’ve been chickens so on behalf of the entire male population, I apologize. But as Jackson Wang I’d like to say, you’re insane for braving out the cold but I did teach you defense so if a creep like Doojoon walks beside you, you know where to kick first!”

“Jacks, I still like him.”

He flicked a free hand away and raised his eyebrows. “Whatever.” He patted her hand to get the plate and cracked the crab’s shells for her. Jackson sat beside her and was faster in his job than she was, and after it he ate her chocolates.

“We should do this often!”

“Your metabolism is faster than mine, though I won’t mind eating a lot.”

He placed a hand on her waist and poked her stomach. “I really miss your blubber.”

“You don’t say that to a girl, Jacks.”

“It’ll keep you warm this winter.”

“Still, your etiquette!” She snapped.

“Hey, your chocolates are the best.”

“Great, because next year you’ll be making them with me for you.”

Jackson leaned on her and smiled cunningly. “So, is that a yes?”

“Maybe, if you share me those and get that pint of Chunky Monkey in the freezer.”

*”…he gets the most money from our relatives." It’s part of Asian tradition to receive money during special occasions like births, weddings, and on holidays. See, it’s cool to be Asian! Shout out to my Filipino bromies who are reading this!

**Hongeo is a Korean dish that smells and tastes awful, they say. If you guys have watched Roommate S2, did you remember what Youngji brought? Well she brought a lot of stuff The one that Jackson liked and said it smells like socks. The dude does hate his red pepper but he’d rather eat sock-smelling food. I’d probably try it with a clothespin attached on my nose!