Who's birthday is it? .11.

A few days after sorting out my next temporary job, after having Suga make arrangements with the playhouse manager, I found myself sitting in a car being driven by a stranger to an equally strange place against my own will.

I wasn’t entirely sure how much longer I could hold off hanging out with his friends and risking my position, however one way or another, they had managed to nab me. Not even my (for some reason) shocking excuse about writing and needing time alone to tap into my inner Slim Shady seemed to amuse them for long, but instead only sparked something mischievous in their group chats that I couldn’t quite place… but which definitely gave me a bad feeling.

Here was one of their incomprehensible texts that for some reason, made me horribly anxious. It was at 11 PM and I was watching old episodes of Ninja Warriors when the phone buzzed maddeningly as if the killer from One Missed Call tried to get hold of me as his next victim:

Alien V: HYUNG FIGHTING //confetti emote//

Alien V: Don’t end up in hospital again. We got big plans 4 u

Jimin: YAH! Stop talking nonsense V!!

Alien V: eat well and rest bcoz u have 2 look cool for ur dongsaengs.

Jimin: OMG that was close

Jimin: what is this tho, a confession or something? Let me prepare my eyes, give me 1 min

Namjoon: Tsk! Shameless alien so late in the night. Go to bed. You too, Jimin. Don’t you have a life unlike SOMEBODY we know… tsk!

Alien V: hyung I AM HURT

Alien V: ((image)) Jimin I sense some jelly

Jimin: can u not

Golden Maknae: guys. It’s almost 12. Have some mercy (。┰ω┰。)

Alien V: yes jimin have mercy and stop replying tbh

Hoseok: GUYS!!!!!1

Hoseok: STOP TEXTING, AT THE MOVIES!!!

Jimin: sorry hyung, V’s fault

Alien V: jelly jelly jelly jelly jelly

Jimin: ((image)) the only jelly here is the jam on my midnight toast u fool

Alien V: LOOOLLLLLL

Hoseok: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLL!!!

Jimin: n

Namjoon: LOL

Golden Maknae: LOLOLOL

Alien V: CANTBREATHE

Hoseok: HAHAHAHA IM SCREWED HAVE 2 LEAVE MOVIES BRB LIL

Jimin: you guys . Seriously.

Jimin: Jungkook I am DISAPPOINTED IN U

Namjoon: Jimin, I commend your efforts in trying real hard to get some jams. But this is just too much.

 ‘Your friends are scary,’ I remember commenting to Suga one day after successfully managing to escape their attempted kidnapping, to which Suga only replied with a lazy grunt as he lolled in bed.

Oh dear Lord, I hope that fool survives work. I swear he was so lazy that I even feared he’d get fired in no time. Oh, not to mention his dressing…! I could only hope and pray he adhered to the dress code and; good God; wore underwear more than anything else. Being a waitress was certainly nothing to laugh about, and I was probably more nervous about the job than he was this morning, being his first day.

DO NOT RUIN THIS FOR ME

DO YOU HEAR ME

!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!

Ah, and his general lack of replies! Looking at the one-sided conversation probably cut my lifespan by a few years, however the blasting music in the car as we drove on to God-knows-where made it hard to concentrate on anything at that point.

‘Guys, can you please tell me where we’re going!??’ I shouted above the blaring hip-hop in the car.

The stranger in the driver’s seat beside me lolled his head back sleepily and stared at me with as much attention as a yapping cockatoo. I could only assume at this point that this guy was Namjoon from the text messages, considering I’d already been introduced to the rest of them. He had surprisingly kempt blonde hair that took on the image of soft serve ice-cream the moment I laid eyes on him, which was tempting to touch, however I quickly reminded myself to keep cool.

Just act laid-back. I’m not easily surprised, and everyone’s generally comfortable around me. I recalled Suga miraculously giving me a brief overview of his personality, and how the boys perceived him as he dragged himself out of the bathroom earlier, scratching his belly shamelessly.

Oh yes, and acting the part was probably going to be incredibly tough though considering our personalities were as good as fire and water. Suga preferred to laze around and I preferred to work. He spoke at a minimum and I always gave a mouthful. He was generally relaxed at times, while I was excitable for even the smallestof things. Oh no, I’m so doomed.

‘Suga…’ the blonde started, however Hoseok quickly cut him off with a karate chop that invaded the space between the front seats.

‘Wait, wait! Are you Suga right now, or is this Yoongi?’

Geez, what did that even matter!? ‘Uh…’ I quickly remembered Suga’s advice from this morning and cleared my throat, glaring out the window like a mafia boss.

‘What do you think, pabo?’

‘Omo, must be Suga!’

‘Aish, then you cut me off for nothing, fool,’ Namjoon scolded the one from behind who didn’t seem in the least affected by this, and continued singing to the new song that came on.

‘Anyway, Suga… I heard you’re writing a lot lately? What’s up with that?’

I glanced at him from the side of my eye carefully, but he seemed relatively relaxed as he asked this. I was beginning to get a little irritated by how surprised they all were at a stand-up poet doing something as obvious as writing poems, and sighed deeply as I readied my default response.

‘Yeah, I’ve been inspired by this show I found. Cool stuff about ninjas who were summoned from the dead by their resolve to save a princess in distress. Really emotional story.’

‘Hmm,’ Namjoon mused. ‘Revenge is good. It’s a creative basis to work off; you can expect a good reception with your comeback.’

I stared at him wide-eyed at that. Comeback? What was this guy talking about? Well, then again, there were a lot of things about Suga I didn’t know… in fact, there was just far too much content to his life and goings-on that I was certain he probably forgot to tell me all about it. Which was normal, I guess, considering I too had neglected a handful of important details myself.

Snap, which reminds me, what’s the date today? I have tell him about the rent—‘Mwo? Have you gotten over Yun…’

Yun-who? I probably asked this out loud as I shot Hoseok a terribly confused look behind me, however Namjoon quickly threw him an alarming glare, which in turn made the boy’s train of thoughts stop dead in their tracks. I continued to stare at him in the backseat with questioning eyes, however the only response he gave me was a quiet ‘sorry’ he mouthed, and I found myself at a loss for what just conspired a few seconds ago.

Yun…? If it weren’t for the blaring hip-hop music in the car, I was certain an incredibly awkward silence would have instead hung over us like a dark cloud. Why did the two look so serious after that? Something incredibly fishy was going on here.

‘Anyway, Suga,’ Namjoon broke the imaginary awkward silence after the brief moment they took to recover.

‘You should give me the poem to review. It’s probably good. But I want to look it over to make sure you’re not rusty.’

Alarm bells went off in my mind. ‘Oh—uh—it’s—about that… it’s really rough.’

If he was asking for a poem, I knew I’d be doomed because the entire thing was a big fat lie.

Namjoon scoffed. ‘Since when does unfinished work bother you? You’ve been practically sleeping in a pile of work in progress poems for a year, dude. You should come by the studio tomorrow.’

I am dead. The panic set in and I found my brain working faster than a mile a minute, churning out excuses like crazy. Was this guy like a story co-author to Suga’s poems? I had no idea why he had anything at all to do with this in the first place, but what bothered me the most was that I’d straight-out lied about making the poems, and I was seemingly falling deeper into my flimsy dishonesty. Writing poems was my default excuse to escape his crazy friends and risking the body swap secret, but now I could only regret ever using it at all.

This must be my punishment for lying to my parents all this time! LORD SAVE ME! I wiped the sweat from my brow quickly and gulped hard. ‘N-nah, I still have a lot of lines to finish, so…’

Namjoon stared at me like I was stupid. ‘So that’s all the more reason why two heads are better than one here. Besides, you’ve been looking a lot better lately. More active, I guess? I’m sure everyone would be stoked to see you back in the game. Also, I spoke with the manager the other day and he said you should…’

The rest of what the blonde told me was a complete blank. I AM DEAD I AM SO DEAD. R.I.P SELF. Not even blissful thoughts of Genji sweeping me off my feet to his ninja palace in Omi made me calm down. Not even Hoseok’s (kind of nice) rapping in the backseat managed to distract my raging thoughts, and I was probably in the middle of a mini heart attack as Namjoon continued telling me about something excitedly. My mind was screaming at me to suddenly come out with the truth before it was too late and I got horribly involved in all this, however I forced myself to think soothing thoughts which miraculously managed to replace that dangerous urge. Think of Jin’s face, Jin’s face.

‘… So I said it was a good idea. Hope it’s not too much to ask, but… what do you think? I’ll give him a call right away.’

I was in no state of mind to reason with him, and simply wanting to be alone with my thoughts for the time being, I nodded vigorously in hopes that he’d leave me alone.

‘Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.’

Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts, my mind cooed. Think of Jin.

For the remainder of the drive to keep myself from blurting the truth to them to save my own , I took to sending Suga death threats while he was at work.

Reply to me or else I’m going to fling myself out of a moving vehicle for the second time.

Although he probably wouldn’t know what I was talking about. I began texting Sehun and found out he was currently auditioning somewhere for a stand-up act, but when it came to him excitably sending an influx of details, I zoned out. The last thing I needed to associate myself with was stand-up anything, and I quickly dove into a scene so blissful I’d have to remember to describe it to Suga to retell my parents the tale when they called soon.

I was in the middle a summer date with Jin when the car pulled up smoothly into a fancy-looking driveway, surrounded by equally fancy-looking houses.

For a second it actually looked like we just rocked up at the Hamptons; mansions behind giant castle-like walls and wrought iron gates, and Chihuahuas barking like crazy from behind all that… OK, maybe the last bit was an exaggeration. Then again, the fact that Jin just bought me peach iced tea in my fleeting dream didn’t help my overall perception of things one bit. I was still somewhat drunk on the sparkly scenes my overactive imagination conjured up, and it took me a moment