Jinyoung felt unwell and said that he wanted to stay in, so we made use of the picnic mat and basket filled with food I brought along with me in an improvisatory manner instead. Laying out the dark blue patterned mat on the tiles of the floor, I brushed my hands over from corner to corner, ensuring that the mat was evenly spread out.

With his hand tightly held in mine, I guided him onto the floor and leaned both our bodies against the wall, propping our backs as comfortably as we could while we sat, knee touching knee. Jinyoung reached over for the picnic basket, and even though I knew that he disliked it when I helped him do the simplest things because he could do it perfectly fine, I extended my own arm and grabbed onto the handle before he could stop me and placed it into his lap.

He pursed his lips, but we both knew that he didn’t have the energy to start a new argument – and even if he did, he probably wouldn’t have it in him to finish it anyway. He opened the lid, and pulled out a few plastic containers. There were tuna and spam sandwiches, bottles of soy bean and a box of fresh grapes that I had washed in the hospital bathroom after I had bought them from the convenience store. Removing the lids from the containers and opening the box of grapes, he placed the food in front of us and smiled at me gratefully.

“Are you cold?” I asked cautiously. “Do you want me to grab a blanket or some pillows?”

“It’s fine, Mark. I’m fine.” He repeated, his smile still on his lips, although visibly he seemed as though he had lost some of his fighting spirit in him. I missed that. I missed out quick jabs at one another, joking or not, and I missed our constant bickering that never seemed to cease.

We ate in silence, and although I was chewing on the sandwich, my taste buds did not seem to register the taste. It wasn’t until I had realised that I was chewing the paper wrapper that I started to spit out the paper, trying my best to use my tongue to remove all the bits of paper. I heard Jinyoung chuckle next to me, and as discreetly as I could, spat the small pieces of paper into a tissue.

“I’m sorry that this was all the food I could get.” I apologised meekly, scratching the back of my neck. In fact, I probably should have asked what he felt like eating before just rushing out of his ward with an unexplained ‘Don’t leave this place, I’ll be back in ten minutes’.

Jinyoung shrugged and pressed his side closer to me, nudging my shoulder. “It’s alright. I wouldn’t mind eating anything with you, to be honest. I just wanted to spend some time together.”

I looked back at my half-eaten sandwich, because I wasn’t sure if my facial expression was more of a wince or a feeble excuse for a smile. We continued munching in silence, until I crushed the paper wrapper and threw it into the dustbin from where I was sitting. Jinyoung had nibbled on the sandwich a little, but he had finished almost half of the grapes, so I was relieved that he was eating.

“Did you bring my books, Mark?” He spoke up, and I felt his hand on my arm, his fingertips grazing my forearm gently. I nodded, and reached an arm to grab my bag careless, unwilling to break our shared skin contact. The bag strap was taut, because of the sheer weight of the books inside the bag. I grunted, before putting the bag on my lap.

“Why’d you ask me to bring you some books, JInyoung?” I asked, stretching my fingers after releasing the heavy bag strap.

Jinyoung chuckled, his eyes turning into half-crescents and his smile widening to show his teeth. “I just thought it would be nice to read today, don’t you think so?”

And of course, I wouldn’t disagree with him.

We ran over the crumpled list of books written on a scrap of paper in his handwriting, and started off by ensuring that I had gotten a copy of every book that he had wanted me to bring. The thing about Jinyoung’s library, was that it was excessive just as it was impressive. Sometimes, if he had taken a liking to a certain author, he would buy different editions of the same book, and maybe in another language too, so that he could read the translated versions. The other members – including me – always thought that it was a waste to splurge our hard-earned savings on pages and words, but Jinyoung had always thought otherwise.

There were yellow and blue post-its sticking out of the books that I had gathered, and the pages were slightly yellowed and dog-eared. Some of the front covers of the book had his scribbles written at the bottom corners, but they were all too illegible for me to make out.

“Well? This was your idea.” I raised my eyebrows at curiously, not a clue as to what we were going to do.

“I’ve marked these books because they contain my favourite quotes. I thought it would be nice to read them with you, because I think I would’ve fallen asleep if I asked you to read an entire book to me.” He explained, a soft smile still grazing his lips as he looked upon the books with a somewhat longing expression.

I nodded again, after perceiving an inkling of what he wa