Make me feel alive (and shatter me)

Make me feel alive (and shatter me)

Taehyung blinked his eyes open, groping blearily for his phone. The screen lit up, blinking up the time as 2:47am. He groaned, flopping over to his other side, silently cursing whatever had woken him up.

He reached over, patting at the empty side of the bed before he remembered that Jimin was working a night shift at the hospital and wouldn't be back until 6 that morning.

He jumped slightly as a dull, insistent knocking noise from the door cut through the silence of the tiny apartment. That was, in all likelihood, what had woken him. Taehyung pulled a pillow over his head, trying to drown out the noise and hoping whoever it was that had decided to wake him up would just go away, but the knocking continued. He finally flipped over, dragging himself out of the comforting embrace of the bed and stumbled his way to the door.

He unbolted the door and flung it open, ready to shout at whoever had disturbed him, but the words died on his lips.

"Jimin," he breathed.

It was the only thing he was able to get out before he lunged forward to catch Jimin was he slumped to the ground.

Jimin's eyes fluttered, blinking up at Taehyung. His scrubs where ripped and dirty, and his entire body was trembling. Taehyung could see cuts and bruises littering Jimin's skin through the tears in the fabric, some of them fresh, but others were already dry, crusting the cloth to Jimin's skin.

His face was bruised as well, both of his eyes swelling, and several splits in his lips trickling blood down his chin. But worst were the bruises on his neck- the perfect imprints of fingers blossoming purple on Jimin's flawless skin.

"Tae." Jimin's word was little more than a whimper, but it was all that Taehyung needed to snap him out of his shock.

Taehyung gently slid one arm under Jimin's legs and used his other arm to prop up the smaller boy's back as he lifted him as smoothly as he could off of the hall floor. He carried Jimin into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind them. Despite how gentle Taehyung tried to be, Jimin still whimpered in pain at the jostling movements.

Taehyung cradled Jimin against his chest as he sat down on their worn sofa. Jimin tucked his head into the crook of Taehyung's neck, breathing in his scent as an exhausted, hysterical sob ripped its way out of his chest.

Taehyung rubbed gentle circles against Jimin's back and kissed his forehead soothingly. "Jiminie," he said softly, hugging Jimin's shaking form closer. "Was it him? Did he do this to you?"

He felt Jimin hesitate before nodding against Taehyung's shoulder. "He texted me and said that if I didn't meet him he would come here and hurt you," Jimin whispered. "I was barely outside hospital door and grabbed me and pulled me into his car and started driving. He's back at his old apartment. That's where he-" Jimin's voice broke as he cut off. "I thought I was never going to see you again," his whimpered against Taehyung's shoulder.

Taehyung closer his eyes, biting back the wave of anger that flared up in his chest. "He used me against you. Again," he said flatly.

Jimin pulled back and looked up at Taehyung through his bruised and swollen eyes, tears tracking their way down his cheeks. "He would have done it, Tae, he would've actually hurt you. Maybe I'm not strong enough to protect myself, but at least I can protect you."

"You are strong, Jiminie," Taehyung said as he wiped the tears away with feather-light touches, only to have fresh tears replace them. He bent, brushing his lips against Jimin's cheeks, kissing them away. Jimin closed his eyes with a small, shaky sigh, leaning in to the gentle touches that were so different from all harsh blows he had already endured.

"I thought he was gone," Jimin whispered. "Why couldn't he have just left us alone?"

Taehyung shook his head as he pulled Jimin back to his chest, letting the smaller boy nestle against his shoulder. "Because he's a ," he replied flatly.

Jimin didn't reply, but the tremors running through his body were beginning to relax as he slumped against Taehyung, completely drained.

--

It had been three years earlier that Jimin had started dating a man that he met in the diner where he and Taehyung used to work together. However, he learned quickly that the man he had thought was a kind and gentle was, in reality, controlling, possessive, and cruel. Taehyung had spent over a year in agony, watching Jimin shrink further into himself, noticing mysterious bruises form themselves on Jimin's skin, watching Jimin try to convince himself that he was still in love.

Jimin had finally broken it off after the man had threatened to kill Taehyung if Jimin continued to spend time with him. Jimin had spent three days in the hospital from the beating the man had given him, but when he had woken up to see Taehyung beside him, he blessed Taehyung with his first real smile in months.

In the weeks that followed, Taehyung stayed by Jimin's side, silently supporting him and counting every tiny smile he earned to be a personal victory. Taehyung knew that Jimin's body was healing, but he was afraid that his mind never would. The smallest things would trigger Jimin to flinch or cower. He let Jimin lead, following at the pace the other boy set and continued to push aside the feelings he had been repressing since they were children. Jimin didn't need a new lover, he needed a friend and Taehyung was content to be whatever Jimin needed, just as long as he could be near him.

But everything changed one evening while they standing in the kitchen of their shared apartment, cooking dinner together. Taehyung had felt a soft, timid hand slip into his from behind and a forehead press itself against his back.

"Thank you," he had heard Jimin whisper behind him. "I love you, Taetae."

The kiss at the back of his neck was little more than the ghost of a caress, but it was all the encouragement Taehyung needed to turn around and pull the smaller boy into his arms, whispering his own profession of love against Jimin's plump lips.

Taehyung couldn't remember ever being happier than he was in the time that passed after that. It was bliss, being wrapped up in only each other. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle; it just made sense for one of them to be beside the other. They made each other better, they didn't even know how to have a real argument. They were the missing pieces of each other's souls.

Taehyung should have known that it was too good to last.

--

The first text came two months ago, when Taehyung and Jimin were leaving the cinema, hand in hand. Jimin had been smiling as he looked down at his phone, but then he stopped walking, pulling Taehyung to a halt, the smile sliding slowly from his face. For the first time in months Taehyung saw fear in Jimin's eyes and saw him shrink into himself, trying to make himself smaller, like he was trying to be less of a target. Taehyung wished Jimin knew that he didn't have to worry about being a small target since anyone who wanted to hurt him would never even get passed Taehyung.

That text was only the first. They started coming more frequently after that, some of them professions of love, but worst were the threats. Some of them were ual, sickeningly detailed explanations of what the man wanted to do to Jimin, but others were treats to beat up or even kill Jimin if he didn't come back. He began calling as well, leaving voicemails that said the same things as the texts. Taehyung knew that Jimin tried to delete as many as he could before Taehyung could see them, trying to spare one of them some worry, but Taehyung didn't need to know the exact wording of what the man was saying to Jimin to see the strain it was causing.

Jimin tried blocking the number, but as soon as he would block one, the man would begin messaging him from a different number. Taehyung finally convinced Jimin to talk to the police, but the police weren't able to do anything. Jimin had no evidence that the man had attacked him before and just the text messages alone weren't enough to warrant any kind of protection for Jimin.

Jimin had stayed strong through the entire ordeal, not responding to any text or voicemail, not letting the man take control of him again, until tonight when he used Taehyung against Jimin.

Taehyung knew what he had to do. He had to protect Jimin. He had to.

"Jiminie," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to Jimin's forehead. "We need to get you cleaned up."

He stood up carefully, still cradling Jimin to his chest. Jimin in a sharp breath as the movement jostled his injuries and Taehyung nuzzled their faces together in silent comfort.

He walked them slowly into the tiny bathroom, setting Jimin gently down onto the closed toilet seat before turning to their claw foot bathtub. He turned the water on, checking the temperature to make sure it wasn't too warm as it cascaded into the tub, before turning back to Jimin.

"We need to get you undressed, Jiminie," he said softly.

Jimin nodded, biting his bottom lip as Taehyung reached for the hem of his shirt and began to gently ease it off of him. Despite Taehyung's best efforts, Jimin bit back several cries of pain while Taehyung carefully took off first his shirt, followed by his pants and underwear.

The bathroom was warm from the steam rising from the full tub by the time Jimin was sitting, and exhausted, on the toilet lid, his head resting on the wall and his swollen eyes drooping shut.

Taehyung could only stared at the bruises and cuts smattered over Jimin's skin. A large bruise was blossoming over his chest, indicating several cracked ribs, the finger print bruises on his neck were darkening by the minute, and several deep cuts high up on Jimin's thighs made Taehyung's stomach turn.

He took a shaky breath. "Ready?" he asked.

Jimin nodded, one sluggish jerk of his head. He didn't have the energy to bite back his groan of pain as Taehyung scooped him up again and lowered him into the warm bath. The groan morphed into a relieved moan as the warm, comforting water engulfed him.

Taehyung knelt beside the tub, reaching for a towel from the stand beside them. He folded it carefully over the back of the tub before he eased Jimin's head back to rest on it. He picked up a washcloth, wetting it in the water of the tub before he picked up one of Jimin's arms and began to run to washcloth gently down the bruises skin. When that arm was washed and the blood on it was gone, he moved to the other arm, then down Jimin's chest and back. He was careful of every cut and bruise, placing soft kisses on any that he could reach before cleaning it.

When he reached Jimin's legs, the bath water was taking on a red tint from the blood. Taehyung was extra careful as he ran the cloth over the deep cuts on Jimin's thighs. He peppered soft kisses over Jimin's face, soothing his whimpers of pain as Taehyung cleaned him. He kisses his swollen eyelids and split lips, his bruised cheeks, and sweat-beaded forehead.

"It's okay, Jiminie," he murmured. "You're safe now, okay? Nothing else is going to hurt you. I'm going to take care of you, you're going to be okay."

The words flowed out of his mouth, broken only by kisses. Jimin's hand was fisted in front of Taehyung's shirt, neither of them caring that it was getting the cloth wet. He held onto Taehyung as if his life depended on it, holding him close.

When Taehyung finished cleaning Jimin's legs he moved up to the bruises on his neck. He had saved his neck and face for last and now, as he rubbed the cloth over the cuts and bruises as gently as he was able, words of comfort and love still spilling out of his mouth, Jimin tighten his grip on Taehyung's shirt.

"Taetae," he murmured as Taehyung wiped the cloth one last time across his cheek before tossing it into the corner to worry about later. "Taetae."

Taehyung leaned forward so their foreheads were pressed together. Jimin's other hand fisted in the back Taehyung's shirt, holding him in place. Taehyung cupped one of his hands around the back of Jimin's neck and used his other to caress his face.

"I love you," he murmured. "I always have and I always will."

Jimin's smile was small, but it was still beautiful to Taehyung. "I love you too, Tae. Thank you."

Taehyung pulled the plug of the tub, letting the water drain out as he helped Jimin stand up and step unsteadily out of the tub. Taehyung picked up a fresh towel, one of the softest he could find, and carefully patted Jimin dry. He stepped over to their medicine cabinet above the sink, pulling out some bandages and antibacterial cream. He worked slowly, bandaging up the worst of the wounds, and placing a small, chaste kiss over each one when he had finished before moving to the next one. When he was done, he wrapped the towel tightly around the smaller boy's shivering shoulders and kissed the end of Jimin's nose before turning to walk back into the bedroom.

He stopped when he felt a hand gripping the back of his shirt. He looked back and saw Jimin looking up at him, panic written across his face.

"Don't leave me," he whispered and Taehyung thought he heart would break at the fear in Jimin's broken plea.

"I won't, Jiminie," he promised, pulling the trembling boy into his arms. He rested his cheek against the top of Jimin's head, rocking them both gently back and forth. "I was just going to get you some clean clothes."

He felt Jimin shake his head silently, sniffling against Taehyung's chest.

"Okay, we'll both go," Taehyung said, pulling back just enough to wrap one arm around Jimin's waist to guide him into the bedroom. He supported most of Jimin's weight, the smaller boy leaning heavily on him, until they had reached the bed. Taehyung was helped Jimin settle on the edge before turning away to get him some clean clothes.

Taehyung gently eased a pair of clean underwear up Jimin's legs and helped him sit up slightly to pull them over his hips. Soft sweatpants that were actually Taehyung's followed, the pant legs several inches too long, but they were looser than any of Jimin's pants. Taehyung pulled a baggy t-shirt over Jimin's head last, kissing him gently to sooth away any pain.

"I'm so tired, Taetae," Jimin whispered, nuzzling against Taehyung shoulder as Taehyung sat beside him.

"Sleep now, Jiminie," he said.

Jimin shook his head, still letting it rest on Taehyung's shoulder. "I don't want nightmares."

Taehyung wrapped his arm around Jimin's waist and kissed the top of his head. "You won't have nightmares, I'll scare them off for you. Bad dreams are scared of me, so you don't have to be afraid of them since you've got me."

Jimin huffed a small laugh, his breath tickling the side of Taehyung's neck. "My bodyguard," he said and Taehyung smiled when he heard the sleepy smile in Jimin's voice.

"Always," he said, shifting them down onto the bed so their heads rested on the same pillow facing each other. He pulled the blankets up over their shoulders, taking care to tuck Jimin in.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked.

Jimin nodded, his eyes sliding shut as he wiggled closer, nuzzling his head under Taehyung's chin. Taehyung slung an arm over Jimin, careful of the wounds, holding the smaller boy close as he relaxed against Taehyung's chest.

"I love you, Taetae," Jimin mumbled.

Taehyung rubbed soft circles against Jimin's back, listening to his breathing deepen and even out.

"I love you too, Jiminie," he whispered.

Taehyung didn't know how long he lay there watching Jimin sleep. His bruised face was peacefully blank without any evidence of nightmares. He stayed curled up against Taehyung, wrapped up in the protective shell of his arms.

When he was sure that Jimin was deep enough into his sleep, Taehyung pulled back, gently detaching himself from Jimin. Jimin whimpered in his sleep at the loss, his forehead creasing with a frown. Taehyung bent over him, gently kissing him as he tucked the blankets around the sleeping boy. Jimin's expression softened and he sighed contentedly.

"I'll be back soon, Jimin," Taehyung whispered. "I'm going to get rid of your nightmares."

He pressed one last kiss against Jimin's lips before turning away. He opened his dressed drawer, groping blindly into the back corner until his fingers curled around cold metal.

He didn't remember putting his shoes or jacket on, or walking the blocks to the rundown apartment building, but he found himself standing outside a closed door listening to the sounds of a TV playing loudly from inside.

Taehyung tried the door handle and, after finding it locked, raised his fist and hammered on the door. There was an angry shout from the other side of the door followed a few moments later by the scrape of a bolt being pulled back.

Taehyung was shoving his way inside before the door was completely open, ignoring the indignant shout of the man on the other side as he shoved him backward and kicked the door shut.

The man, Jimin's nightmare, regained his balance before a grin spread over his face. "I was wondering if you'd come," he said.

"Yeah, well here I am," Taehyung snarled.

"So, what now? Going to beat me up? Send me to the hospital? Did you have to take Jimin to the hospital this time?"

His smile widened as he watched Taehyung's expression darken and his fists clench.

"You should've heard him," he continued. "He's always been noisy, although this time he he kept screaming for you. He didn't even try to fight back when I told him that I’d kill you if he did, though. It was quite.... touching." His voice caressed the last word and he raised his hands, displaying the backs of them to Taehyung. His knuckles were split and dried blood covered them, the telltale sign of one too many punches being thrown. These were the hands that hurt Jimin.

Taehyung felt something inside of his snap.

He lunged forward, seeing the flash of surprise on the man's face before Taehyung crashed into him, sending them both sprawling backwards. They fell hard onto the ground with Taehyung pinned the man, holding him in place with one hand while the other showered down blow after blow.

The man bellowed, trying to squirm away. He managed to get one hand free, which was enough to shove Taehyung back. Taehyung scrambled out of the way as the man pushed himself up and lunged forward, all signs of his smug smile gone.

Despite being fast, Taehyung was much smaller than the other man. The air was knocked out of his chest as the man grabbed him and shoved him into a wall, one of his fists ramming hard into Taehyung's stomach.

"He's mine," the man hissed as Taehyung gasped, his eyes watering as he fought to get air back into his lungs. "He's always been mine and he ways will be."

"He's not yours, you ing creep," Taehyung snarled back. "He doesn’t belong to anyone except himself."

He managed to shove the man away from him and they fell backward again, this time landing on a coffee table. Taehyung heard glass and wood shattering under them and felt sharp, broken glass cutting against his skin, but he didn't care.

He felt more blows against him as he shoved the man back. Taehyung spit a mouthful of blood out, scrambling to his feet and seeing that the man had done the same. They were both panting and bloody, covered with cuts and bits of broken glass.

"I'm not going to let you haunt him anymore," Taehyung said softly, his hand moving to the back of his belt and his fingers curling around the pistol he usually kept safe in his dresser drawer.

He moved fast as the man let out a roar and lunged forward. The gunshot blasted through the air, and the man stumbled as he collided against Taehyung, a look of shock on his face. A sharp pain pierced Taehyung’s abdomen, but he didn’t move as he watched the man look down at his chest and watch red blood blossom across his shirt from the wound above his heart. He looked back up at Taehyung, their eyes locking as one last triumphant smile flickered over the man's face before he crumpled to the ground, broken glass and wood fanning out around his body.

Taehyung stared down at the still body for a moment before he stumbled backward toward the door. With one hand he gripped the pistol, but the other clutched at the large, razor sharp piece of glass was shoved deeply into his stomach.

He stumbled out of the apartment and down the stairs, leaving a spattered trail of blood as it seeped over his hand, soaking his shirt and pants. Each step was agony and he was weakening by the second, but he needed to get home.

The sun was beginning to rise but the streets were still empty as he stumbled forward, one word hammering itself into his mind.

JiminJiminJimin.

He was in a daze, a fog covered his mind, but he knew he had to get to Jimin. Jimin needed him. He needed him. He needed-

He pushed himself up the stairs of their apartment, fumbling with the door handle with blood-slicked hands before it opened for him and he was stumbling inside.

Jimin was there, standing in the middle of the room, his eyes wide as he saw Taehyung.

"No!" Jimin's voice was something between a gasp and scream as he lunged forward, ignoring his own pain as he caught Taehyung as he legs gave out.

"Taehyung, what did you do?"

Taehyung wanted to sooth the fear in Jimin's voice, but all he managed was to whisper, "I got rid of your nightmare." A fit of coughing shook Taehyung's body. The taste of blood was metallic in his mouth and he saw flecks of it fly out as he coughed.

"You're going to be okay," Jimin was saying, trying to reach for Taehyung's cellphone which was on the nightstand where he had left it earlier. "I'll call for an ambulance, you'll be fine."

Taehyung's head was settled in Jimin's lap and he tried to focus on breathing. Each new breath was more difficult and painful than the last. He could hear Jimin speak urgently above him, but the words didn't make any sense.

Taehyung's eyes drifted shut, but they opened again when Jimin's voice broke through the haze of his mind.

"No! No, no, no, no. no, please Taehyung, no! You'll be fine, you'll be okay! I'm going to make it okay."

Jimin's voice was choked with sobs as he pressed gently at the wound in Taehyung’s stomach. This was wrong, Jimin shouldn't cry. He was free now. He was safe.

Taehyung smiled up at Jimin as Jimin cradled him against his chest.

"You're safe now, Jiminie," Taehyung whispered before the gentle night closed over him.

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
jaaaayne
#1
Chapter 1: TTT.TTT This is amazing!! TTT.TTT
littlexwillow
#2
Chapter 1: this... omg, this is so beautifully tragic. just how far would taehyung go to protect jimin? the amount of love is overwhelming.

gosh, i love this too much
Jiminssi-Tae #3
Chapter 1: Omfg Taehyung TT-TT HE DIED RIGHT? I'M CRYING AT THE LAST SENTENCE ABSKXJKSISJSKSISHS NOOOOOO HE NEEDS TO BE ALIVE FOR JIMIN ;-; *sobs
BangItToDae
#4
Chapter 1: omg did Taehyung die?? ;;;;; i almost screamed when he got a glass on his stomach.. how about Jimin? :((
jjkiee
#5
Chapter 1: Omg this is such a thriller! The sweetest yet the most painful. But beautiful. I'm crazy over this, really. Taetae that is so caring and strong and a sensitive and vulnerable Jimin made the best love story. It's sad they weren't together at last but I believe it's better that way. Way to go ~ Love it!!
MixedSugaR
#6
Chapter 1: Holy moly! I wonder if Taehyung really died or went to prison after his murder. He did something extreme to protect Jimin, out of his love. It broke my heart they didn't have a chsnce to live their love peacefully