There is no such thing as forever that exists in this world, they say. And I won’t contradict that statement because for all I know, the world itself is cruel. And nothing proves that wrong.

But then, I saw the smile that I missed. I saw the smile that only you can have. And it felt like forever. It felt like it was the most wonderful daydream covering the worst nightmare that has ever happened in my life. It was as if you were cutting again the wings of my time little by little. It ticked faster than ever but became slower until it flew no more.

Your smile suddenly stopped my world. Not really your smile, but your whole existence. Not just really your whole existence, but the whole you. Every person in our surroundings paused from what they’re doing. Even the noises that I’m hearing were ceased. And that was when I saw you again.

Our eyes met. Then your smile easily faded. But after a moment, you wore not the same smile that masked your face earlier and continued laughing with your friends as if you woke up from insanity. And I continued pretending that I was listening to all of my friends’ talks.

“I heard you were done dating Park Bom huh,” Seungri said, smirking.

“Yes, a month ago. You were late.”

After I said that, they all laughed so hard. I just chuckled. No, Park Bom was done dating me. You were done with me. It wasn’t really the end of my world. Not yet. It was more like my world is slowly shattering.

“That’s Seunghyun hyung for you,” Daesung said and they did the high-five.

You were walking with your friends towards us, closing the spaces just between me and you. My heart was beating so loud and I was actually hoping that you can hear it from there. It felt like I was inside a movie because it was as if that scene was in slower motion while the senseless outcry of my surroundings simply muted.

“You should all stop laughing like that because you seriously look so stupid. And just so you know, Chaerin’s going here,” Jiyong said, annoyed.

“You stupidly look so stupid. Just a concerned dog trying so hard to impress the apple of his eye,” Youngbae said and they all laughed, teasing the already pissed Jiyong.

All of our memories poured. The memories that I could only dwell in. From every comfortable silence while we were together and to the last first kiss that we shared. And I just can’t stop myself from asking these questions… What happened to us? Why did we end up like this? Is it really over?

I still don’t know the answers. All I know is we could never be like this. I’ve never imagined that you can be a stranger just crossing in my life.

You passed by. And then everything just immediately came back to normal. I wasn’t inside a movie anymore, just back to reality. You didn’t even bother to acknowledge my presence. And I acted like I didn’t notice you. You just passed by as if we weren’t known each other. You just passed by as if we weren’t become a part of each other’s lives. I was just letting you go.

 And then you’re gone. For probably forever.