Love is a weird thing. It comes out of nowhere and hits a person like a tidal wave, swirling their emotions into a confusing mess. And it doesn’t care.

Love doesn’t discriminate. No matter the race or gender, a person’s heart will choose anyone. It’ll choose someone and won’t let go, loving that person so much it physically hurts.

Jackson just couldn’t believe who his heart chose. It wasn’t out of nowhere though. It was subtle and crept it’s way into existence. It became apparent after Real GOT7 season 2 was recorded, and Jackson was scared. He couldn’t love Mark. Mark was his best friend. Yeah he jokes about Markson a lot but he didn’t mean for it to be romantic. The Chinese idol had no idea what to do.

Every time Mark even grazed Jackson, his skin would be on fire. When Mark whispered in his ear, Jackson would shiver. When he heard his name come out of Mark’s mouth his heart would do flips. When Mark’s eyes glistened and gave a smile only he could receive, Jackson was sure he was going to die. But...But it was just wrong.

Mark didn’t love Jackson. He was only the best friend, nothing more.

Jackson sighed in his bed. These thoughts stayed in his head all the time before sleep. He could hear Mark sleeping soundly. He couldn’t stay in the dark room any longer and got up. He quietly walked to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. Jackson sat down at their table and leisurely drank it. He wanted to stall as much as possible before going back into the room. The chinese idol rubbed his face in frustration. He shouldn't have gave into Bambam's plea for him to stay for the night at the dorms again.

He swore he was going to go insane inside his shared room with Mark.

--------------------------

It was morning and the group was at JYP practicing for their first full album. Jackson was more quiet than usual. He only did the routine and talked when needed. Mark was worried about him. The grey haired boy walked over to the brunette and put a hand on his shoulder. “Jackson, are you okay?”

“Uh yeah… just tired is all.” Jackson chuckled. “Didn’t get much sleep.”

“Oh.” Mark removed his hand. “Okay. W-”

“Let’s practice the dance one more time and then we can leave.” Jaebum’s voice rang through the room. Jackson walked away from Mark and got in his position.

“Hyung is something wrong with Jackson? He’s too quiet.” Mark looked over to Yugyeom.

He smiled at the maknae. “He’s just tired.”

Yugyeom frowned. “Even when he’s tired he’s never like this though…”

“I’m sure he just has things on his mind.” Mark suggested.

“Maybe…” The youngest walked to his position.

Everyone was in position and ‘Stop Stop It’ started to play. While Mark was dancing he couldn’t help but notice Jackson. Even though the brunette was doing the moves right, it wasn’t the same. There was no feeling behind it, no smile- nothing. The song finished and everyone was happy it was over.

When they made it to the dorms, everyone fell onto the couch in the living room tired.

“Hyung~ I’m hungry.” Bambam whined while tugging on Jinyoung’s sleeve.

“Me too!” Yugyeom was next to Jinyoung in record time.

Jinyoung looked around the room. “Do you guys want to eat somewhere?”

Jaebum nodded. “Let’s do that.”

The group decided to leave when Mark noticed Jackson stayed behind.

“Jackson aren't you coming with us?” He asked.

The others looked at Jackson confused and curious. Jackson looked away. “No… I’m just going to go to back the Roommate house...” Mark frowned. It was then did he realize something was wrong with Jackson.

--------------------------

Jackson made it back to the Roommate residence and walked into his room. He curled up into his bed and laid in silence. He knew the cameras were on him and he refused to cry in front of them. The world didn't need to know about his troubles. They only needed to know about happy Jackson Wang- nothing else.

He stayed in there for hours in silence.

He heard his door open and knew Kang Joon was home. "Hey Jackson. You asleep?"

Jackson laid on his back. "No... I'm awake."

Kang Joon frowned as he laid himself over Jackson. "Jacks what's wrong?" He whispered not wanting the cameras to hear.

"You already know..." Jackson whispered back.

"Mark Tuan again?" Kang Joon was the only person Jackson ever told about his feelings for Mark to. He was so happy when his hyung didn't judge him and still cared for him.

The Chinese idol nodded before covering his face. Kang Joon could feel Jackson shaking. The actor got up and waved at the camera. He wrote something down on to a paper. He held it up for the camera to see.

Can you turn off the cameras for an hour or so... Please?

The camera shook before the lights on both cameras turned off. "The cameras are off."

As soon as those words left Kang Joon's mouth, he could hear a sob come from the other. He patted Jackson's head. "I'm going to tell everyone that you're not feeling well for dinner. I'll be right back."  

He got up and closed the door. When he walked to the kitchen he found everyone chatting and getting ready to eat.

"Ah! Kang Joon, where's Jackson? It's dinner time." Ryohei said as he set plates down.

"He's not feeling well to eat so I'm going to stay with him."

Se Ho furrowed his brows. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah so no need to check on him. He'll be good by morning!" Kang Joon assured everyone. They nodded their heads before going back to what they were doing. Kang Joon went back into his room and found Jackson facing the wall.

The actor laid down next to Jackson and wrapped an arm around the other, spooning him. “Jacks…”

“What...?”

“Please don’t cry. You’ll get through this.”

“I don’t think I can handle this anymore.” Jackson cried softly. “It’s killing me.”

Kang Joon rubbed the other’s arm soothingly. He hated seeing Jackson like this- sad and crying. It really broke his heart.

No one knew this but, Kang Joon loved Jackson more than a roommate. Jackson was like a brother to him and he hates that Jackson is in so much pain and he can't do anything about it.

“You have me. Don’t cry and talk to me."

Jackson turned his body and faced Kang Joon. He looked him straight in the eye before shaking his head and snuggling into Kang Joon's chest.

"I'm just tired of feeling this way..."

Kang Joon knew that feeling all too well.

--------------------------

The group had finally arrived home and Mark walked into his empty room. He hated it- the silence. He missed his roommate. He’s not thinking about the Jackson he saw today. He's thinking of the Jackson from 2 months ago. The one who would hug him randomly, laugh like a hyena, lace their hands together, and dance idiotically.

It hurt him so much when Jackson started to distance himself. The chinese idol even distanced himself from everyone else. You could tell he was struggling with something just from looking at his dull eyes. Mark wanted to know what had happened to Jackson but before he could find out, Jackson signed up to be apart of Roommate. Mark felt like that was a punch to the face. First he avoided them at the dorm and then he practically leaves it.

Mark lazily took of his shirt and went to the bathroom. After 20 minutes he got out and laid down on the bed. He thought of Jackson before losing his eyes.

I miss you.....

-------------------------------

Jackson woke up to someone poking him. He opened his eyes to Youngji staring at him.

"Wake up, it's time for breakfast."

The male idol frowned and turned to the wall. "I don't have an appetite…”

Youngji frowned. “You’re still not feeling well?”

“Hm.”

“Okay. I’ll put your breakfast to the side. Rest up.” She patted his shoulder and left.

Jackson sighed. His chest didn’t hurt like it did yesterday but the emptiness was still there. Sometimes he wished he was with his mother. She always knew what to say or do when he was sad. Sadly she was in Hong Kong and unable to come to Korea because she’s ill.

He sat up quietly and realized Kang Joon wasn’t in the room. He got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. After 30 minutes he came out in black joggers and a blue sweater. He walked out of his room and into the kitchen. Everyone greeted him happily.

“Yo man, good morning!” Joonhyung shouted from the table. Jackson grinned at him and sat down next to Youngji. She leaned over to him. “Are you feeling better Jacks?”

He gave a small smile and nodded his head.

“Okay, I’ll go get your food.”

“Thank you…”

The female idol got up and walked to the fridge. Seho looked at Jackson in worry. "Are you sick Jackson? You've been different lately."

"Nah I'm fine now. Just had a stomach ache yesterday. It's gone now!"

"Okay. So what do you guys want to do for today? None of you have schedules right?"

"Let's go to the park again. It was fun." Nana proposed.

"Yeah and then go eat at a buffet or something!" Sunny added.

"You guys want to?" Gook Ju asked.

When everyone nodded and shouted in agreement, the roommates finished their breakfast and went to get ready for the day.

--------------------------

Jackson smiled as he watched his friends run around and play games at the park. Seeing them have a good time really brought up his spirits.  He pet cucumber as Youngji walked over to him and sat down. "Yah, why aren't you playing?"

"Someone has to keep cucumber company." He spoke as he kissed the dog's nose.

"I know that's not the real reason Jacks."

The Chinese idol shrugged. "I don't know, I've just been depressed lately. Just dealing with things."

"Why are you dealing with them alone? Aren't I your best friend?!"

Jackson turned to Youngji and flicked her forehead. "No, you're my fighting partner!"

"Seriously?! My feelings are hurt!"

Jackson laughed his hyena laugh. "I'm just kidding Ji! I love you! You're my best friend, don't get mad!!"

Youngji looked at him suspiciously before smiling again. "Okay, I trust you."

--------------------------

It's been 2 weeks since his last break down and things were slightly better for Jackson. He tried to be more friendly towards his group members again, which was greatly accepted.

He smiled more and was almost like himself again. Except with Mark. He was still keeping a distance from the grey haired boy. Mark could only up the sour feeling and accept it, but he was getting impatient.

GOT7 was getting ready to perform their showcase for their album Identify. They were backstage when suddenly Kang Joon walked into the group's room.

"Hello."

The group looked up and a smile made its way to Jackson's face.

"Joonie!!" He got up from his seat and hugged (more like climbed) his hyung and turned to s. "Guys this is my roommate, Kang Joon. He's a rookie actor!"

The rest of GOT7  bowed smiled politely at him but we're slightly jealous of the attention Jackson has been giving him. Especially Mark.

The grey haired boy didn't like him. At all. He was the only thing in Jackson's eyes at the moment, and Mark hated it. Kang Joon bowed and looked everyone in the eye, Mark a little longer than the others. That didn't go unnoticed by said idol.

Mark Tuan... Kang Joon thought. This is going to be weird...

--------------------------

The showcase had finished and Jackson, Gook Ju, and Kang Joon went back to the Roommate residence. Gook Ju and Kang Joon decided to get something to eat, asking if Jackson wanted to come. He gave a small smile and shook his head, saying that he was beyond tired. Gook Ju nodded slowly watching as Jackson went inside.

Dong Wook, Se Ho, Jong Ok, Nana, and Youngji were in the living room. They welcomed him home, but Jackson didn't even acknowledge them. He went straight to his room and slammed the door.

The others were shocked and Youngji went straight to the room.

Jackson slammed the door and tried to control his shaky breath while taking off his jacket and book bag. He ran a hand through his short hair and paced back in forth. But it wasn't helping. He leaned against the bathroom door and slide to the floor as tears started to fall.

Jackson was deeply hurt by Gook Ju and Kang Joon's prank. He really thought his mom had came from Hong Kong. He really missed her and her being here could have really helped with his mental state. But this prank, it made it even worse.

He was in too much hysteria to hear Youngji come inside. She gasped when she saw him. She closed the door and rushed to him, kneeling in front of him.

"Jackson! Jackson, what's wrong?!"

The Chinese idol only shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

“Yah! Jackson Wang stop acting tough! Tell me what’s wrong.”

Jackson laughs in hysteria. “Really, it was nothing! Just a damn prank. A mean prank…”

Youngji was confused. She thought it was something more serious. “Prank?”

The male idol nodded his head and wiped his eyes (though the tears wouldn’t stop). “Kang Joon and Gook Ju came to my showcase. Joon s-said my mom was there. I got so excited thinking my mom flew all the way from Hong Kong, even though she’s sick, just to see me. B-But i-it was just noona.” His tears grew heavier and Youngji’s heart clench.

She felt horrible seeing him cry. Jackson Wang was a happy person, not this broken person in front of her right now. She pulled him into a hug when the doorbell rang. She listened to the noises outside when Jong Ok called her name.

"I'll be right back Jackson."

When the boy nodded she went out to the living room, thinking she must have had company. When she saw the guest though, she realizes it wasn't for her.

"Hello." She bowed.

"Hello." He bowed back.

Jong Ok walked to Youngji. "He's here to see Jackson."

Youngji's eyes widened. Of course he would come, he was there during the showcase.

"Right! Follow me!"

"Is Jackson okay for guest?" Jong Ok asked, making the guest look in worry and confusion.

"I think with him being here," Youngji pointed at the male "I think he will be."

Jong Ok nodded and let the two idols walk to Jackson's room. Youngji opened the door and called to Jackson. "I have someone here for you."

Jackson looked up and his eyes widened. "...Mark?"

The grey haired boy sighed. "I knew I had to come see you." He walked inside the room and Youngji closed the door, giving the two idols privacy.

Mark grabbed Jackson's hand and pulled him up before leading him to his bed. Jackson's skin was on fire but, he was too tired to fight the older. The other moved Jackson to lay down on his side and Mark mimicked him, the two facing each other. Mark grabbed Jackson's hand and laced them together, just like how they used to.

"I knew you were going to be sad after what happened, even your dancing wasn't that happy." Mark looked Jackson in the eyes. "That's why I'm here."

"...You didn't have to come..."

Mark furrowed his brow. "Yes I did! Jackson, what's happening to you? Why've you changed? ....Why are you avoiding me? Did.... Did I do something wrong? If so, I'm so sorry."

Fresh tears made their way to Jackson's eyes. They fell as he whispered. "It's not you Mark... It's me." He closed his eyes as Mark wiped his tears.

"How's it you? Tell me."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"You'll hate me."

Mark was shocked. "I could never hate you. Jackson, you're one of the most important people in my life."

Jackson sighed and turned his head into his pillow. "And I don't want to lose that spot."

Mark was losing his patience. He didn't want to seem mean but he needed to get into the other's head. He dropped Jackson's hand and sat up. "Jackson where are you?! Where’s the boy that used to laugh everywhere, grab my hand, always get in my personal space, the one who understood me best, the one who always screamed 'Markson Forever!'?! Where's my other half?!"

Jackson stared at Mark wide eyed. "Your other half?"

Mark sighed. He might as well let it all out now or never get an opportunity again. "Yeah- you're my other half but, but you've changed….." Mark looked at Jackson in sadness. "I miss you Jackson."

Jackson cried as an overwhelming feeling came unto him. "I love you..." The words slipped out like water out of a cup.

"What?" Mark was speechless.

"I-I said I love you. I've loved you for a while but I was scared. I am scared. That you'll hate me or not accept my feelings. I know I'm just your best friend- but it hurts to be around you." Jackson sobbed softly. "I just don't want you to hat-"

He was silenced by a pair of soft lips.

When Mark pulled away, he wiped the younger's eyes. "Please stop crying. I love you too." He smiled softly. That only made Jackson cry more but there was a small smile coming to his face. He pulled the older down and hugged him. Mark returned the hug and the two stayed like that for a while. Mark pulled always slightly and kissed Jackson again.

Their lips molded together perfectly. There was no tongue, no raw carnal emotions. Just a simple yet emotional kiss.

"Be my one and only Mandu?"

For the first time in a while Jackson laughed at Mark. "Are you asking me out, Disum?"

“If I say yes would you?”

Jackson smiled before kissing Marks lips again. “Does that answer your question?”

They shared a smile before something came to Jackson's mind. "Hey, what time is it?"

Mark let go of Jackson to look at the clock. "It's 11:00."

"It's too late to go back to the dorm, want to spend the night?"

"Am I allowed to?"

"Of course!" Jackson sat up, all tears and sadness wiped from his face. "You can meet everyone properly now and we can sleep on the couches upstairs! We'll call Manager-hyung later."

Mark smiled and sat up too. He held Jackson's cheek. "Here's the Jackson I know." The brunette leaned into Mark's palm, "I was always here, just hiding."

"Don't hide from me again, promise?"

"Promise..."

They got up before Mark stopped the other. "Jackson... Aren't we being recorded right now?" He asked with slight fear. He didn't want their conversation to be broadcasted.

Jackson looked at the camera before smiling at his boyfriend. "No, I've talked to the camera guy for my room. He said anything personal he won't give to the PD. And the PD understands too."

"Wow, these people are kind."

"It's why I love this show! Now c'mon you have to meet everyone!"

Jackson grabbed Mark's hand and lead him upstairs where everyone was. Gook Ju and Kang Joon were already home. They were surprised to see Jackson with Mark, especially Kang Joon. But seeing how Jackson was happy and holding Mark's hand, he guessed they finally talked. He smiled at the two when they went in front of everyone.

"Jackson! Are you feeling better?! You had us worried." Dong Wook spoke.

The boy in question smiled sheepishly and rubbed his neck. "Sorry. I'm better now, thanks to this guy." He pointed at Mark who bowed at everyone.

"Hello I'm Mark of GOT7."

"Awe it's Markson in real life!" Sunny squealed. Everyone laughed and Seho spoke. "They even hold hands off stage too!"

Jackson and Mark detached themselves, embarrassed from getting caught. "Youngji you have competition." Nana wiggled her eyebrows.

"Yah~ we're not dating or getting married!"

"I don't know. You too are really close."

Youngji face palmed as everyone laughed.

"Well c'mon Jackson and Mark, sit down somewhere! We're about to play Karaoke!"

And for the first time in a long time Jackson was really happy.

--------------------------

It was 3am and everyone was going to their own rooms for sleep. Kang Joon walked up to the GOT7 members. Mark looked up at him and immediately his guard was up.

Kang Joon noticed and smiled at them. "You guys sleep in the room. I'll sleep up here."

"Are you sure?" Jackson felt bad.

"Yeah. Seeing as you guys are dating, it's a good idea for you to have privacy."

Jackson jumped and hugged Kang Joon while Mark sat wide eyed. "You knew about Jackson's feelings?"

"Yeah. I was the only one he told.”

"Oh...."

"Mhm, he's like my little brother so I keep a lookout for him." Kang Joon smiled and ruffled Jackson's short hair. "Now you guys go. I want to sleep."

"Thanks man, goodnight!" Jackson grabbed Mark's hand and lead them back downstairs.

"I didn't realize Kang Joon knew..."

"I told him a while ago."

"No wonder he looked at me funny today... I thought he liked you or something."

Jackson opened the room door and looked back at Mark in shock. "Kang Joon, liking me?! Noooo that's not possible. Sibling love is what we have- Sibling Love."

Mark smiled. "I believe you."

"Good now...." Jackson went to his closet and looked for clothes. "Here, change in the bathroom."

"Okay, but you come too."

"Me?"

"Yeah, makes time faster."

"Okay?" Jackson grabbed clothes and followed Mark to the bathroom. He closed the door when hands grabbed him.

He was forced to turn around and lips pressed against his. He was shocked at first but soon he melted into the kiss. The kiss lasted for a few minutes before they broke apart. Mark blushed before changing his clothes. Jackson chuckled before doing the same.

The two laid down and faced each other.

"Let's sleep. We have schedules tomorrow." Mark whispered.

"I wanna cuddle though...." Jackson whined cutely.

Mark smiled. "We can still do that while we sleep Jackson."

"....I wanna be the big spoon then."

"Are you serious?" Mark couldn't help but asked. Jackson nodded fiercely and Mark sighed before turning around. He could hear Jackson squeal in happiness before arms wrapped around his torso and a chest met his back. Jackson's lips met the others neck and he snuggled into his shoulder.

"Goodnight Mark..."

Smiling, Mark closed his eyes as he patted Jackson's hand. "Goodnight..."

My first Markson story *Hides behind hands* was it bad? i hope not! I have a thing with vulnerable Jackson- it's not done very often in Markson stories so i wanted to try ^^

I actually have a full markson story coming soon so look out for it! Warning, it'll be mature and angsty on Jackson...