It was his final year at the Arts School and he couldn’t wait to graduate.  He’d been living in South Korea for the last five years.  His family was split between Seattle, Washington, USA and Seoul, South Korea. Seattle is where he grew up, but he’d probably remain mostly in Seoul, even after graduation.  Jay Park was both his real and stage name.  In Seattle he’d been part of a b-boy crew called Art Of Movement.  Then his mom had wanted him to go to university in Korea.  She knew that South Korea focused on the artistic talents of their youth, more so than America.  It had been hard at first, mostly until he’d learned how to speak and read Korean.  His charisma made it easy to make friends at university.  He was part of a new crew called Korean Assassins.  His focus in university was hip hop dancing and then singing or rapping.  

 

In his hip hop class there were few girls who were really good.  One girl, Heo Chan-mi, he had a few classes with, but she mostly kept to herself.  Everyone said she was a and was driven to be the best.  He just thought she was quiet.  Rumour also said that she was already getting jobs in the dance industry, because she would disappear for months at a time.  Yet when she returned, Chan-mi was never behind in her studies, which caused her classmates to harbour jealousy.  The other reason she was disliked was that she was there on a dance scholarship, so tuition was paid for by the school.  He understood the pressures of holding the top spot among their peers in class and she was ranked third over all for hip hop dancing.  The only other girl that caught his attention and this year had become his girlfriend, was ballet dancer Seo Eun Gyo.  She was ranked second for the ballet genre.  They had math and english classes together, but none of the arts classes.  They saw each other mostly before or after school, when he’d give her a ride on his motorcycle.

 

In his free time Jay liked to do local crew battles or one on one b-boy competitions.  His parents paid for his school stuff easily, but for extra cash he’d street busk either by dancing or singing/rapping.  He also loved going to the local arcade, that was close to his house.  That’s where he was walking to today, when he recognized the girl ahead of him.  It was Chan-mi from hip hop class and she was engrossed with window shopping. She didn’t notice him at all, but he was close enough to see that her smile fell, before she turned and walked away.  He wondered why she didn’t go inside to try the outfit on.  Passing the same window she’d just been standing at, he saw the outfit.  It was probably for the end of year showcase the university did with the graduates. Jay was about to call out to her and say hello, when he noticed her stumble. Then Chan-mi suddenly collapsed to the ground.  Almost choking on his lollipop, Jay rushed to her side.

 

“Chan-mi, hey?!” Jay shook her unconscious body. Although he was alarmed, he didn’t panic and quickly dialled 119.

 

The ambulance arrived and he rode with her to the hospital.  The paramedic handed him her cell phone, when it fell out of a pocket.  While Jay waited for a doctor to tell him what was wrong, he searched her phone for a family number.  She didn’t have a screen lock on the phone, so he did find a contact listed as ‘mom’.  But since Jay hadn’t been told what was going on yet, he didn’t make the call.  No use scaring the mother.

 

It seemed like forever, when finally the doctor approached him.  That’s when Jay found out her big secret.  Chan-mi had acute leukemia, also known as AML.  It’s the type of cancer that developed quickly and in Chan-mi’s case, it was at the terminal stage.  He was told that symptoms of the leukemia were fevers, fatigue/tiredness or fainting, easy bleeding, major bone and joint pain, weight loss and swollen spleen and liver, causing sever abdominal pain.  If, like in her case, the leukemia cells had infiltrated the brain, then other symptoms included migraine like headaches, seizures, confusion, loss of muscle control and vomiting.

 

Jay knew chemotherapy or radiation therapy was the common treatment and that patients often had to go on various medications to help manage the side effects.  He was amazed at what this girl was going through and how well she hid it from them all.  His heart hurt for her, as the doctor explained what stage of cancer Chan-mi was in. 

 

Meanwhile Chan-mi woke up, initially confused to where she was, until she saw the IV drip.  Realizing she’d fainted again, made her worry who’d seen it and brought her to the hospital.  It also alarmed her, that these ‘black outs’ were increasing in frequency.  To keep the depression and fear of death from overwhelming her, she thought about the guy she had a crush on.  She’d secretly watch him dance and then felt less lonely. He was very skilled in the genre that interested her.  The teachers all loved to teach him, because Jay Park picked up choreography quickly. For her, she had to practice relentlessly.

 

Moving to the edge of the bed, she put her kicks back on.  At the door, she slide it open, careful to make sure the IV drip stand came out the door with her.  Finding the doctor so she could get out of the hospital before they called her mom, was her immediate goal.  She looked down the hall and at that moment she found out who’d seen her faint.  She wasn’t quick enough to duck back into the room, instead he turned around at the noise behind him and their eyes connected.  His eyes told her without any words, that he knew her secret.  He knew she had cancer and was terminally ill.  She’d always dreamed about him caring for her, but never this way.  Yet as they stared at each other, she didn’t see pity in his eyes.

 

“Doctor, can I go now?”  Chan-mi asked softly.

 

“I’ll get the paperwork. Are you sure we can’t….”

 

“No,” she cut him off.

 

Jay waited for the doctor to release her.  “How are you feeling?”

 

“I’m okay now,” she replied shyly.

 

“Can I walk you home?”

 

She nodded, “I just have to sign out and have the nurse take out the needle for the IV.”

 

He realized that this had become so routine to her.  “Does anyone else know about your….”

 

“Yes the university teachers.  In the past when I was going through chemotherapy, I was too sick to go into school.  I studied in the hospital.  They’ve been very understanding.  But I don’t want anyone else to know.  It’s bad enough that my mom cries all the time and looks at me with pity.”

 

“So no chemo this time?”

 

Chan-mi gave him a sad smile, “not only is it too expensive for my mom and I to handle, but now it’s too late.”

 

“So it’s just you and your mom?” Jay asked, sort of changing the subject.

 

“Yeah.  My dad divorced mom, when the medical bills just got too much.  He told us that he couldn’t stick around and watch me fade away and die.”

 

He noticed her voice was not bitter at all, yet he was angry on her behalf.  “That’s harsh.”

 

“I understand though.  You haven’t seen what my mother has gone through.  She use to always smile and people thought she was my sister, because of how youthful she looked.  Now all she does is cry or is sad.  She’s aged so much.”

 

Jay was amazed with her courage and ability to forgive her family for failing her.  He helped Chan-mi on the bus and they sat together.  They talked about school, graduation and the showcase.

 

“All I want is to make it to graduation and dance on the stage, so everyone can see me.  I want my performance to be remembered.  For those who will remember me, to look back to their memories and smile.”

 

“I think we all want that.  Normally coming up with choreography for the showcase is easy for me, but not this year.  I was told to ‘think outside of the box’, like what the hell does that mean?  For some reason, writing the lyrics, music, creating the choreography and dancing, all by myself, isn’t good enough now.”  Jay ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

 

“I know right? It’s hard for me to even remember some of my steps, but everyone is already paired up or set in what they plan on doing. I now have to record my dance sessions, so I can remember the steps.  But if anyone’s around, I can’t do that either.”

 

Jay shook his head, “don’t let the negativity, the hateful rumours, stop you from doing what you love.”

 

“Thanks,” she smiled.  “This is my stop.” Chan-mi got up and had to hold onto the seat tightly.

 

He immediately stood up and took her arm, helping her off the bus.  “Come on, put your arm around me, I’ll take you home.”  When she hesitated, a blush creeping into her cheeks, Jay put her hand around his neck and his hand around her waist.  

 

“You don’t have to, I’ll make it home eventually,” Chan-mi protested.  He could hear the fatigue in her voice.

 

“I’m not taking no for an answer. So lean on me, it’s okay.”

 

Jay helped her to the front door and she thanked him.  “By the way Jay, did you happen to see where I dropped my cell phone?”

 

“Oh I almost forgot, the paramedics in the ambulance gave me your phone. I was going to call your mom, but you woke up before I had a chance to.”

 

“I’m glad you didn’t.  If I… if this happens again, don’t call her, ever. And please Jay, keep my secret.”

 

“Okay… I’ll see you in school.” He gave a half waive and left.