June 5th, 2012 - 1 a.m.

"Woah... check out that babe," Seungri whispered as the guys turned to see who he was pointing at. "Hyung, she's looking over at you. Go for it!" he encouraged. 

"Hmm?" he asked, looking up from his phone. He looked across at the bar and saw a beautiful girl smiling shyly at him, waving timidly. "Nah, you go for it Seungri-ah," he said, directing his attention back to his phone. 

"Fine. Whatever you say hyung," he said cheerfully, getting up and racing over to the bar. 

"Let's go get another drink Daesung-ah," Seunghyun directed, already on his way. 

Jiyong watched as his friend sat quietly, occasionally combing his hair back with his hand. "So... are you finally going to man up and tell her how you really feel?" he asked, smirking when he saw Youngbae visibly startled. 

"W-What are you talking about?" he asked, though his panic was obvious.

"What? You think we wouldn't know? Me especially? I've known you most of your life. I've known her most of her life. You don't have to tell me things for me to know them. And frankly, you make it pretty damn obvious, at least to me anyways," he laughed. 

Youngbae sighed and sat back on the couch. "Am I really that obvious?" he asked, nodding to the others as they took their seats agian. 

"Around us, you couldn't make it anymore obvious. But around her, not so much," Seunghyun said. 

"Hyung, I think it's time you tell her already. We're getting pretty tired of all this," Daesung said. "You know, Yuri's a great girl. Any guy would be lucky to have her. And it's not going to be long before someone else notices how great she is as well," he continued. 

"Honestly, I'm pretty damn shocked she hasn't got a boyfriend already," Seunghyun said. 

"You really think I should tell her?" he asked, completely unsure of himself. 

"Of course we do," Jiyong exclaimed. "You'd be the perfect boyfriend. Besides, we're getting sick of you staring at your phone all the time," he laughed. 

"Or ditching us for her when we're having dinner together," Daesung said. 

"Or inviting her and her friends over when it's boys night," Seunghyun chimed in. 

"Wait. What are you talking about hyung? You love it when he invites them over. I've seen you looking at Tiffany noona," he winked, resulting in the smack on the head. 

"Alright, I get it. I get it," he said, putting his hands up defensively. "But I don't even know if she likes me back," he said nervously. 

"Ah... poor, naive, dimwitted, slow..." Jiyong started. 

"DUDE! I think that's enough adjectives," he said, shoving him back. 

"Wow, rude. Anyways, like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," he stared at Youngbae with a raised eyebrow, the others laughing at his semi-tipsy antics. "Look. You're never going to know what will happen. You can just bottle it all up and not tell her, watching her as she gets married to some other guy and lives a happy life with him," he said. "Or you can take the risk and end up being that guy," he smiled, clinking his glass with the others. 

"Yeah, but what if she rejects me?" he asked dejectedly. 

"Nothing. You'll still be friends and nothing will change. But you have to take the chance. There's two sides to every coin," he said wisely. 

"Alright, alright. I'll think about it okay?" he said. Feeling the vibration of his phone in his pocket, he pulled it out and read the message. 

"What is it?" Daesung asked. 

"Hmm? Yuri wants to have dinner tomorrow night," he informed them. 

"DUDE! This is the perfect opportunity. This is like fate. We were just talking about it and she's the one that invites you out to dinner," Jiyong said excitedly. "If I didn't know any better, I would think Yuri likes you as well," he winked. "CHEERS!" he yelled, raising his glass as the others did the same. 

"Come on Youngbae-ah. Let loose, would you?" Seunghyun demanded playfully. "Starting tomorrow night, you'll be completely tied down. Let loose tonight," he encouraged. 

They watched the momentary conflict on Youngbae's face before he raised his glass cheerfully. "CHEERS!" he yelled before they drank their night away. Tomorrow, he would confess to the love of his life, and hopefully, it would be the start of his new life. 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

June 6th, 2012 - 7:30 p.m.

"You can do this Youngbae-ah. It's now or never," he said to himself inside his car, making sure he was presentable. Satisfied, he got out of his car and walked to the classy restaurant, bowing to the workers. "The tables under the name Kwon Yuri," he said, waiting momentarily as the worker verified the reservation. 

"Kwon Yuri... Ah. Here we are. Follow me this way," she said with a bright smile. 

He followed behind her and noticed the romantic atmosphere of the restaurant, the lighting dimly lit, the scent of candles in the air. Looking up, he couldn't help but feel his heart flutter when he caught sight of her. Her dark hair cascading over her tanned shoulders. Her dress hugging her perfect figure. The bright smile on her face lighting up the dimly lit room. He couldn't stop the smile from adorning his face. In his eyes, she was absolute perfection. 

"Oppa!" she called, hugging him tightly. "I feel like we haven't seen each other for so long," she said, pulling back from him, the smile still on her face. 

"Yuri-ah, you look beautiful," he smiled. "How have you been?" he asked, pulling away and gesturing for her to take a seat. 

"I've been really good oppa. I've missed you though," she said sadly, grabbing his hands gently across the table. 

He smiled, his heart racing a mile a minute. "I've really missed you too," he said, squeezing her hands comfortingly. "I've got to admit though, I was kind of surprised when you asked me to come here. It's not your usual style," he said, looking at the decor of the restaurant. 

"What? I can't be fancy and want to dress up once in a while?" she asked in mock outrage, lightly hitting him on the shoulder. 

"Honestly? I was expecting us to go to that Mexican place near my apartment and chug down a fish bowl," he said, causing her to laugh. 

"Maybe next time oppa," she said, trying to calm herself down. "There's actually a reason why I invited you here," she said. 

"Oh really?" he asked, finally fully taking in his surroundings. He noticed that they were seated on a four person table, a third set of cutlery and napkins present. "Oh, were we expecting someone else? Yoona? Taeyeon-ah?" he asked. 

"Actually..." she said, standing up from her seat. He noticed the bright smile on her, her eyes directed behind his right shoulder. "This is who I wanted you to meet," she said, walking passed him and hugging the tall, handsome man, kissing him gently. "Youngbae oppa, this is Choi Minho," she introduced. 

Momentarily frozen, he shook himself out of his shock, and extended his hand out. "Hi, Minho-shi. I'm Dong Youngbae," he smiled, although he was the only one that knew it was forced. 

"Youngbae-shi! It's great to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you," he smiled, shaking his hand enthusiastically. 

"It's nice to meet you too," he said politely, although it felt like a knife was being plunged into his heart, slowly and mercilessly twisting. "W-When did this happen?" he asked, trying his best to keep the smile on his face. 

"We actually work together oppa," Yuri said, the three of them taking their seats. "He joined the company about six months ago," she explained. 

"Oh, you're at dancer at SM as well?" he asked. Seeing the way he gently grasped her hand, the way he smiled and hung on her every word, he hated him, and he only just met him. 

"Yeah, I recently joined the team. It was tough going at first. You know, joining all the dancers that had been working their for a while. But Yuri here has been a huge help," he said, turning to look at her lovingly, gently kissing her on the cheek. 

Youngbae watched, feeling like someone was playing a cruel trick on him. He could feel his heart shattering into a million pieces, the love of his life in the arms of another man. He saw the way she looked at him, the smile on her face genuine, the look in her eyes, something he had never seen being directed at him. 

He wanted to hate this guy, this Choi Minho. He wanted to shove his arm off of Yuri and take her in his arms instead. He wanted to break this guys heart and declare Yuri as his. But he couldn't. He couldn't hate this guy. He was, to put it quite literally, perfect. He was tall, handsome, funny, intellegent. He was everything that any woman would want in a man. 

But the most important thing? He made Yuri happy. He made her laugh at his witty jokes. He made her blush at his compliments. He made her heart flutter when he would discreetly whispered sweet nothings into her ear. He saw all of that. Youngbae witnessed it all first hand, and the more happy she was, the more miserable he felt. 

Ever since they were young, he had made it his personal mission to make her happy. Whenever she was sad, he would do anything to make her happy. He would go out of his way to make her smile that beautiful smile that he loved. Whenever she smiled, he smiled. That was the chain effect. He thought it would be like that for the rest of his life. But he never thought he would feel miserable at the sight of her pearly whites. 

"Youngbae oppa?" he heard, snapping him out of his thoughts, his dessert spoon hanging from his mouth. "Are you listening?"

"S-Sorry. I just spaced out a bit," he said. "What is it you were saying?" he asked with a chuckle, hoping to hide his own embarassment. 

"I said we're getting married!" she squealled happily. 

He momentarily choked on his dessert for a second before coughing slightly. "Y-You're getting married?! W-Wow! Congratulations!" he said with a smile, hoping his shock wasn't too obvious. He stood from his seat and came around to hug her before shaking Minho's hand again. "Wow, this is so sudden. But congratulations," he said. 

"I know it seems sudden. I mean, we've only been dating for a month now, but..." she trailed off, turning in her seat to face her fiance. "It's just right," she smiled. "And I wanted you to be the first person to know oppa," she said, turning back to face him. 

With more and more information, the knife was slowly digging deeper into his back. "W-What about Yoona?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation flowing. 

"I'll tell her some other time. She already knows we're dating anyways," she replied. 

"Wait. You said you've been dating for a month? How come you didn't tell me?" he asked. 

"I just wanted to surprise you. And you should've seen your face when I told you!" she said happily, laughing with so much mirth.

"Actually, we have a favour to ask of you Youngbae hyung," Minho said.

Even though he had allowed Minho to call him hyung, he still didn't like it coming from him, especially now that he was taking away the love of his life. "Oh? What is it?"

"Yuri here tells me that you're a concert pianist... and we were hoping, well we would love it if you would be the pianist at our wedding," Minho said with a gentle smile. 

"Y-Yeah! Of course I'll do it," he smiled, once again getting up to hug the two sitting across from him. 

Obviously he couldn't say no. Even though he knew that every moment sitting on that bench, watching as she walked down the aisle, some other guy that wasn't him standing at the end of the aisle, he knew he would be hurting every second of it. But he would do it... for her happiness. 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

September 22nd, 2012 - 8:45 p.m.

What made it worse? The way his friends looked at him with sympathy and pity whenever there was a group hangout. The sympathetic pats on the back he got from them, the 'it's going to be alright' looks he was getting. 

After Yuri had introduced Minho to him, she had gathered the group and had announced their engagement, much to everyone's surprise. But they were all happy for them. It had been a while now since then, and the pain he felt in his chest had become a dull ache, something that he would continually suppress. 

Slowly, he found he was isolating himself from his friends, fully immersing himself in his work. Even though he lived with Jiyong, he hadn't seen him in a few days, no longer able to take the looks of pity that he would always send him. He didn't attend those group hang outs anymore. And when they asked him why he wasn't there, he would make up some excuse about having to stay late at the university to help out some of his musical students. The girls didn't know it and Yuri was too in love to realise it, but the guys knew he was lying through his teeth. 

Knock knock.

Turning around in his seat in front of the piano, he sighed. "I don't want to go out with you guys tonight, Jiyongie. I'm fine," he called back through the closed door to his room. 

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I've given up on trying to get you to come out with us anyways. But some people are here to see you," Jiyong's voice came through the door. 

Scrunching up his eyebrows in confusion, he wondered who could be on the other side of the door. Walking across the room, he opened the door, only to find two people he wasn't expecting. "Taeyeon-ah. Yoona. What are you girls doing here?" he asked out of surprise.

"Hey oppa," they smiled timidly. "Is it alright if we come in?" Taeyeon asked. 

"Yeah, of course," he said, stepping back to allow them entrance.  

"I'll leave you to it," Jiyong said before walking away. 

Youngbae turned to find Taeyeon seated with her legs crossed under her on the bed and Yoona seated on his piano bench. Walking over to the bed, he took a seat besides Taeyeon and observed the two, wondering why they came here. He saw the way the two were hesitant to talk, sending silent signals to each other through their eyes. 

"So.... what brings you girls here?" he finally asked to break the awkward silence. 

"Um..." Taeyeon started, still unsure how to approach the topic. "How come you haven't been hanging out with us lately?" she asked, trying to move away from her original topic, earning herself a subtle kick from Yoona.

Youngbae raised his eyebrows in confusion. "You came all the way here to ask me why I haven't been hanging out with everyone?" he asked skeptically. "Um... I've just been busy at the university. And they asked me to mentor a few extra students to cover someone," he said. It wasn't technically a lie. In fact, it was all true. It just didn't take up as much time as he was letting on. 

"You can just tell us oppa. We already know," Yoona sighed, tired to playing this game. 

"What are you talking about?" he asked, hoping it wasn't what he was thinking. 

"We know about your feelings for Yuri unnie," she clarified. "And Jiyong oppa didn't tell us. We sort of had an inkling about it," she said when saw him getting up from his seat. He sighed and rubbed his eyes warily, taking deep breaths.

"How long have you felt this way oppa?" Taeyeon asked quietly, rubbing his back for support. 

He chuckled slightly at her question. "Let's just say it's been a while," he said with a laugh. 

"Is that the real reason you haven't been hanging out with us?" 

"I guess you can say that," he admitted. "I'm sorry. I'm being selfish. I shouldn't let this affect me the way it is. It's good news and I'm happy for her," he said, trying his best to smile, but they could see the heartbreak written all over his face. 

"How come you've never told her?" Taeyeon asked tentatively. 

"I don't know. I was scared? I didn't want to risk our friendship in case she didn't love me back? What do you want me to say Taeyeon-ah? That I should've swept her off her feet and declared my love for her? Well, it's too late for that now," he said, dejectedly. 

"What do you mean it's too late?" Yoona asked. 

"What? You want me to tell her now, when she's happily engaged?" he asked, shocked by her implication. "I'm not going to do that Yoona. She's happy right now. The happiest I have ever seen her. That's the most important thing to me. I'm not gonna do anything to jeopardize that," he said quietly. "And Minho... he's a good guy. I know he'll take care of Yuri well," he said defeatedly. 

"So you're going to sacrifice your own happiness for hers? That's crazy oppa! You can't do that!" Yoona yelled. 

"Her happiness means the most to me. And if I have to see her with another man for the rest of my life, then so be it. As long as she's happy," he said. "Promise me you won't say anything to her," he said seriously. "Please, promise me that you won't say anything," he begged. 

Yoona and Taeyeon looked at each other, conflicted about what to do. Sighing, they slowly nodded their heads. "We don't like this at all oppa. But we promise we won't say anything," Taeyeon said quietly. 

They left the apartment with heavy hearts, conflicted on what to do. They wanted to tell Yuri. They felt like they had to, but they didn't want to break their promise to Youngbae. They just shook their heads at his selfless sacrifice, hoping he was making the right decision. 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

December 20th, 2012 - 7:10 p.m.

He sighed to himself. He should be happy. No, he should've been more than happy. He should have been jumping for joy. He had just accomplished one of his life goals. But why did it feel like a hollow victory? Why did it feel like he was losing? 

Putting down the letter, he went back to his room and sat down on the bed, contemplating about what to do. Looking over at his night stand, he smiled a bitter smile at the picture frame. It was a picture of himself and Yuri on his 7th birthday. He didn't think he would ever forget that day. He opened the draw and pulled out an old and poorly made bracelet. He ran his hand across the beads that read 'friends forever' and smiled a bitter smile. It was the present Yuri had given him on his 7th birthday. 

Shaking his head to try and get out of the memory, he got up and started packing his suitcase, hoping it would distract him. 

"What the hell are you doing?" he heard from behind him. He turned to find Jiyong standing in the doorway, an icy pole in his mouth. 

"I'm packing," he deadpanned, turning back around. 

"Are you kidding? You're running away?" Jiyong asked, not believing his eyes. 

"I'm not running away," he mumbled under his breath.

"Then what the hell is this then?" Jiyong yelled, entering the room and standing in front of Youngbae. 

He breathed a deep sigh and stopped his packing. "I got in, Jiyong," he said quietly. 

"You got into what?" Jiyong asked, no longer yelling. 

"Juilliard accepted my job application," he sighed. 

"WHAT? NO WAY! Are you serious?" he yelled in excitement, drawing his friend into a bear hug. "This is unbelievable. I'm so happy for you," he laughed, however the smile on his face was quickly gone when he noticed the expression on Youngbae's face. "What? What's going on?"

"They want me there in a couple of days. They sent plane tickets for tomorrow," he said, no longer meeting the eyes of his friend. 

"They want you there so soon? But... but the wedding is in two days. You have to be there," Jiyong protested. "Call them and tell them to push it back a few days," he said. Youngbae continued packing silently, not saying a word. "Well? Aren't you going to say something?"

"I have to go Jiyongie," he sighed, closing his eyes and waiting for him to berate him. 

"You're kidding me right?" he said, not believing his ears. "You're going to bail on Yuri's wedding? Yuri, the girl that you're in love with? No. Yuri, your best friend since we were kids? Yuri, the person that's going to be crushed when she finds out you're not going to be there?" he continued, his voice getting louder and louder. 

"What the hell do you want me to say?!" Youngbae finally lost it. "Huh? That I'm scared? That I don't want to see her getting married to someone that's not me? Is that what you want to hear? Well, it's true, okay?! I am scared! I am a coward! I'm all those things and more," he yelled, noticing the way Jiyong began to deflate at his words.

"You know, you once told me that I was too selfless. That I always put other people's best interests ahead of my own, and I never believed you. You said I needed to be more selfish. Well, you were right. It's time I start