Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep ...

 

I groan into my pillow as I realise the horrible sound that has awoken me is indeed my alarm letting me know that it is time to get up and go to rehearsals. I groggily sit up and press the little button that shuts the damn thing up while stretching. I am not in the mood for getting up early today. We did not finish until very late last night and even after my mind was filled with thoughts that I could not settle so it took me forever to get to sleep. 

 

After what feels like a long battle with myself but in reality is only a few minutes, i finally drag myself up out of bed and over to my wardrobe to find something suitable to wear. I then stagger over  to the bathroom to take a shower that will hopefully wake me up. 

 

The rest of the morning goes by in somewhat of a blur. We had some sort of radio show to do so it was a lot of the same old thing. Not that I mind. I love it, and I'm really proud of the new song we're premoting. I think it might be one of our best songs yet, which makes me feel happy. It gives me the feeling that even after all these years we are still growing and have something to offer the world and to our fans. 

 

After the radio show we head back to the SM building to practise for our concert next week. We have been practising like crazy for it and are really excited. Its been a while since we had our own stage and got to preform properly for our SHAWOLS. However, during the ride there I must have fallen asleep because I wake up with Jonghyun gently shaking me telling me to wake up. I make a whiny noise and snuggle further into whatever it is i've fallen asleep on, which is really comfy actually.

"Kibum-ah you have to get up because if you dont neither of us will get to practise" He laughs slightly as I open my eyes timidly to see his face smiling at me *much* closer than I expected it to be. ' Oh' I think as i realise I must have fallen asleep on him. But that doesn't seem to  make sense as I remember curling up into the window of the car. 

"Going to get up yet?" He asks, I know he's trying to sound stern but he just sounds more amused than annoyed. 

I quickly sit up however and move to get out the van when a hand catches my arm.

"What not even a sorry, or a "thankyou for letting me sleep on you Jonghyun-hyung?" He's grinning at me like a fool no doubt because he thinks he so clever.

"Sorry Jjong and thank you" I say in an over the top voice to let him know I'm being sarcastic. Even if I am gratful for the shoulder to sleep on he doesnt have to be so petty. Not that I mind. I dont ever really mind anything he does. And with that thought I walk off to our parctice room to join the other members for what im sure is going to be yet another long and hard session. 

 

That night when we got home i was just about ready to sleep for eternity. Forget being an idol I want to be sleeping beauty. I mean I do have the looks for it after all. However, my dearest hyungs seemed to have a different idea. 

"Lets all watch a movie together" Jonghyun shouts as he slumps down into the sofa.

"Horor! Horor!" Jinki shouts from the kitchen. 

" Yeah sounds like fun" the others agree.

What is wroong with these people are they not tired. I cant even keep my eyes open.

"What about you Key" Taeminie asks. Well I could hardly be the only one to not join in. We hardly ever get time to do things all together. Not that I would count this as exactly the right time. 

" Sure, but I want to sit on the sofa im tired" They all nodded in agreement. Probably because they knew it wasnt worth arguing when im tired so i went and sat down on the end opposite where Jonghyun was already sat. 

I sort of dozed off while they were deciding what film to watch and fought over the last space on the sofa. It wasnt untill the film began and i heard the opening credits music that I opened my eyes. Minho was sat beside me with an pouting Taemin sat on the floor, hugging into Onew's side. I guess he'd wanted to sit on the sofa. But he should know by now that Minho will do anything to win at anything. And that he wont hold back for anyone, not even cute manknae's.

When I woke up, after apparently falling asleep during the film I found the room dark and the members all gone. Or so I thought untill i noticed I had once again woken up on someones shoulder. 

Squinting in the darkness I could only make out the slight flash of blonde that indicated I was yet again on Jonghyuns shoulder. Only this time I cant have fallen asleep on him because Minho was in the way. 

So how did I get hear?

After realising where I am I start to life myself up when Jonghyun seems to wake up

"Kibum-ah you're awake?" He sounds tired. 

"Yeah. Why are you though?" I ask 

"What do you mean?" Right yeah, that was kind of a vauge question. 

" I mean, why are you here? On the sofa with me sleeping on you?" I pause, "Because I sure as hell couldn't have fallen asleep like that." 

After I say that something flashes though his eyes that I can't quite read but it looks like guilt. 

" Ah that. You noticed huh?" He laughed a little to himself " You just seemed so tired that I didnt want to wake you to get you to your bed, so i figured I'd make you comfy where you were so you wouldn't ache in the morning." 

"Why not just fetch me a blanket?"

"Because im warmer, though if you have a problem with sleeping on my shoulder I'll leave you to suffer in future"  wait, he sounds upset. Have I upset him? 

" It's not that stupid. I just dont want to inconvinience you. It must be troublesom having me sleep on you instead of being able to sleep in your own bed." 

"Well since you're awake now thats what I'll do." He went to walk away when he turned around with a slight tint of red to his cheaks. " Unless you want to come sleep with me in bed too" He smirked. 

" YA! Dont say such things you ert dino. Go to bed" But even with the anger in my voice I can't hide the blush on my cheeks or the little voice in my head screaming " YES PLEASE"

 

Me and Jongie have always been close. He is always someone I can talk to and who can make me laugh. He's also willing to come shopping with me. A thing the other members wont do. But he's also special because he's the only person in the world who knows im Biual. I dont know why I trusted him with it. But I'm glad I did because he accepted it straight away and never once acted any different towards me. Of course that does mean he teases me about it all the time. 

"Key-ah doesn't Jinki hyung look hot today" or "Kibumie do you think my abs are y?" But mostly he likes to try and guess who I have crushes on. 

" Is it Kim Heechul?" 

"Nope" 

" Park Shin hye?" 

" Nope"

" Suli?"

" Nope"

" Amber?"

"Nope"

" Zelo?"

"Nope"

" Park Bom?" 

" No give up already." 

" Taeminnie?"

" Oh my god you creep no!"

Conversations like this would go on all the time. Yet I still dont regret telling him since he never means any harm and he never pushes the teasing too far since he knows what a sensitive subject it is. And I would thank him all the time for being so understanding and he would smile that cute smile of his and say "Thats what best friends do Kibummie" and I would hug him happily while a small part of me would sit there thinking 'right, friends.. thats how I'm supposed to feel for you'. Only problem being, i dont.

 

This was it. Its the night before our concert. And you may be thinking "whats the big deal you've done this a bunch of times before" and you'd be right. Except every concert is different and there are always new people in the croud and you never know if you'll mess up or not. Its just petty nervs really, but it doesnt stop me from not being able to sleep. And so since its now 2 am and we have to be out of the hotel  by 6 I decide I want to do do something to take my mind off things. However, as soon as my feet touch the floor a voice from the bed across the room perks up.

"Bummie, why are you up this late?" Of course he's not asleep that would be much to convenient.

"Can't sleep hyung." Why do I have to sound like such a two year old around him?

"Me either. Come here" I stare blankly in a direction I hope is towards his face.

"Come on not in a weird way. I cant sleep either so we can keep eachother company" 

Although I really would like to argue i dont really have a reason not to so i find myself complying. I gingerly make my way to his bed and sort of perch myself on the edge of his bed making as little contact to it as possible. Or at least that was the plan until i feel hands on my waist pullling my further onto the bed and then tugging me backwards to lay down. 

" uh.. Jong?" This is not good. Does he not realise what this is doing to my mental state. For gods sake hes part of the reason I can't sleep. He kept on doing this thing during rehearsals today were his shirt would ride up and then he'd look over to me and his lips. I mean what sort of sane straight person does that? What am I even supposed to do against that. He knoes he's damn fine.

"Well if you're going to be here for a while may as well be comfy." He smiled his cute little dorky smile as he closed his eyes sleepily.

"H-how come you couldn't sleep?" I ask quietly. Breaking the silence that had fallen over us. I'm still just on my back staring straight ahead. Too scared to look over and see his perfect sleepy face.

"Nervous about tomorrow I guess" I feel him shrug beside me. "How about you? Its not like our diva to miss out on beauty sleep" Ugh that git. I bet he's smirking right now thinking he's so clever. 

"Same reason I guess" I say after giving him a quick kick in the leg.

"Hmm" he makes a sceptical noise and shuffles closer to me. " I know you better than that Bummie, tell your dino whats on your mind" he says as he rests his head on my shoulder. I would have smiled at the cute act if it werevt for the fact his head is now close enough to hear just how fast my heart is beating. 

" your heart is racing" he mumbles sleepily. "Now i know why you cant sleep."

I feel my whole body tence. He cant have gussed. I mean I didnt even admit it to myself untill a few months ago. That stupid dino can't have worked it out in a few seconds. 

" you like someone" he said slowly as he wrapped an arm around me. "Tell me all about this person who has captured me Bummies attention tomorrow. Kay?" The last part was muffled by my chest as Jonghyun snuggled in closer to my side. That idiot, i bet this was his plan all along. The king of skinship just wanted someone to cuddle with. 

I sighed. Happy enough knowing he was still blissfully oblivious i decided to make the most of the hours of sleep i could still get. I wrapped my arms around the idiot next to me and promptly fell asleep.

 

When I woke up two big brown eyes staring at me. Although as soon as they saw me with my eyes open they quickly turned the other way and I could have sworn I saw a blush on the owners cheeks. I never had time to question that though cause in the time it took me to register that i had fallen asleep on Jonghyuns bed and that wasn't some werid dream he had dashed off into the shower. 

 

Getting ready for the concert was easy enough. Get there, sound checks, Then a quick run through of some of the routines. Pre recording the vocals for some of the songs that are trickier to sing live while dancing and running around. Then more sound checks, rehearsals of all our stages. And then we get a short break before we have to go get our hair and makeup done. In all its a lot of waiting around. But as our manager says, its very important to get it all right now so we can give our fans the best stages we can. 

After we had our makeup and hair sorted and were all dressed in our stage outfits we were all just sitting around waiting for it to be time to go on stage. Onew is talking to Manager hyung about something, I think it's something about F(x)'s new single, but I really dont care. Minho is  listening to music while Taemin is busy texting someone. Normally I would go over to find out who, however today I had a stupid dinopuppy who remembered way to much of a conversation he had while half asleep.

"Just tell me who it is."

"No"

"Please Key, I wont tease you I just want to know"

"No" 

" are they from our company?" 

" If I answer this question will you leave it alone?" 

" Are they?"

"Will you leave it if I tell you?"

"Sure."

" If you're lieing i'll never talk to you again Kim Jonghyun."

" I promise" He sends me a bright smile that makes me a little bit weak at the knees.

" Yes. They are from our company." 

He smirks happily at this and I can see a thousand more questions forming in his head. " You promised you dumb dino."

"Plleaaaaasse Bummie just one last question" He looks at me and pouts. It shouldn't work on me he's a grown man. And older than me. But still I cave.

"Fine. One question." I send him a death glare. " And I mean ONE."

But just as he's about to speak someone shouts five minutes till we go on so we both have to rush to the other members for last checks before you go out on stage. 

 

"Dont think I've forgoten about my question" he wipers into my ear just after we've finished singing Sherlock.

" Then ask away" Its not as if  I'll tell him anyway so may as well have some fun.

He sends me a look as if to say 'right here?' So I just smirk back at him just in time for the next Song to begin. 

"He's in SHINee, right?" I hear the words wispered into my ear in that familiar voice. . Maybe he isnt as unobservant as he looks. So I take a risk. 

" Yeah, *he* is." I chew my lip after replying. That was probably a really dumb thing to say. Super dumb. I mean I cant make him hate he in front of fans like this. Something will surely get out. But instead of looking disgusted he just has this satisfied smile on his face before he leans over and wispers to me once again. 

"I guess this means all the fan fictions are true" he says with  a little laugh. 

I dont know if i should be releaved he's not mad or exstatic he hasn't outright said he's figured out its him so I just look away with a triumphant smirk. This will do for today. 

 However, I would have been very wrong if I thought he was going to leave it there. Once we were back in the hotel room he instantly asks me.

"Which one?"

"Which one what?" I ask faking ignorance.

"Which one us us do you like?" He asks. The confidence from earlier is gone and something new is clouding his voice. 

I look at him blankly for a while. Not entierly sure what to say. 

"This is me you're talking  to. And I mean there are only four to choose from so it wont take me long to figure out. So trust me with this Bummie."

I cant even look at him. Gosh. How did things get this complicated. And im not scared of him being discusted of my feelings. Not really. I'm just so scared it will make things werid between us. You know, when he rejects me. 

" It doesn't matter Jong. It's not like anything can or will ever happe with it. Its a dumb crush I'll get over in no time" Yeah like never i think to myself. 

"Hey, our members may be dumb, but none of them are stupid enough to reject the heart of our Key" 

" Just drop it please? You already know more than you should." 

"More than I should?" His voice is filled with a questioning tone as hurt registers on his face. "What is that supposed to mean? I thought I was your best friend." 

" No! Jong its not like that." I pause to look for words. " It's just not safe for me to talk about these things with you." . Those were exactly the wrong words. He now looks even more upset. 

" How can it not be safe to talk about it with me? Key what the hell could be so bad that it's scarier to you than telling me you like men as well as women?" His voice was shaking a bit now and was getting a little too loud for my comfort. "Do you remember how scared you were that day? You were crying to yourself on the roof while practically freezing to death." 

"This is worse hyung." I said with tears now falling freely from my eyes. "Much worse." 

Suddenly the anger in his face was gone and I felt his arms around me. They made me feel so safe and warm and I rested my head on his shoulder and cried harder. 

" I- I just dont want to lose you hyung."

" You could never lose me." He murmerd into my hair. Softly kissing the spot where his lips were. 

I froze at the action and tried to pull away. My tears forgotten to a sudden bout of addrenilin. Why did he just kiss me? 

But he just held me all the tighter and traced shapes on my back. 

" I think I get it now." He said quietly. "Why I never minded that you like men." Well that wasn't the sentence i was expecting so I let him continue. "Because I guess some part of me then grew hopeful" The sigh he let out sounded almost painful. "But it was silly really. So please tell me who you love so much that you are willing to cry over. Because no one is worth my Bummie's tears. It hurts to se you sad and scared like this. So tell me, so that we can put both our hearts to rest." What the hell is he saying? And why does he sound sad? I thought this was my pitty party. 

"But, Jjong.. 

I swallow the huge lump in my throat and hurry to say what I have too before I chicken out again. 

" It's you" Its a pathetic wisper and I know it. But I also know he heard it. And then im crying again. "So how can you comfort me and tell me it will be okay when now im going to lose my bestfriend and things will never be the same?" At this point I step out of his embrace and begin walking away.

"Me?" His voice stops me dead.

"What?"

" You like me?" The hell is that moron going on about now?

"Thats what I just said."

"THATS what you are so worked up about?"

" Can you stop rubbing it in and reject me now please so we can move on in our lives."

"No." He's smirking now and it's pissing me right off.

"Why the not Jonghyun?"

"Because you're an idiot Kibum." Oh now hes dead so ing dead. I never liked him. I take it back. How could I possibly think I could love an like him?

" I'm a what now?" I ask as calmly as I can. Which isnt very calm at all. 

" An idiot." He stares at me deadpaned. 

"Do tell me your reasons for this?" 

"Because if even after all this time you havent noticed I likke you as more than a member or a best friend and after everything i said just now it still didn't click, you are an idiot" 

" I- You- What?" My mind is telling me he really cant be telling me what i think he is.

"Bummie" He says walking closer me to again while im frozen in place. " I like you too" he doesn't then kiss me passionatly like they do in those romantic movie. He just puts his arms around me and kisses my forheard. "So please dont cry. It hurts my heart when you cry"

" You're not lieing to me right? You're not just saying this to make me feel better, or as some cruel joke?"

" Key-ah look at me." I reluctantly tilt my head to look at him. "Now i will ignore that coment because I know you've gone through a lot today. But never think I would joke about my feeling for you" he smiled at me and trailed kisses from my forhead down my nose to my lips. But before he finally kissed my lips he gently added "because you mean the world to me Bummie and I never thought I'd be able to do this." And he then finally closed the gap between us. If you could even call it a gap since as he spoke his lips has brushed mine.

The kiss was short and gentle and nothing like what movies and tv had hyped it up to be. But it was still magical. At first I forgot to close my eyes and his nose squished into mine a little. But my heart was beating like crazy and the rest of the world stopped mattering and I knew that no matter what happened after this i would never forget it. This moment right here would be forever engrained into my memory. It was perfect. I felt fuzzy all over and when he pulled away his eyes were still closed but he had the biggesttt smile on his face.

"Do you believe me now?" He asks sweetly.

I can't be bothered to answer he knows it anyway, so I just pull him in for another kiss before i wriggle out of his grasp to go get showered and changed. After all its late and we have a plain journey back to Seoul in the morning. 

When I got out of the shower Jonghyun was sort of passed out on his bed with his phone still clutched in his hand. I couldn't help but smile at his cuteness. 

"Jongie, you need to get showered." 

"Mmmpf" He groaned. "Let me sleep Bummie, please?" 

How can i deny that? 

"Fine, sleep tight Jjong" 

I was about to walk away when i felt a hand grab at my fingers. 

" yes?" I ask trying to sound annoyed, but failing as he threads his fingers through mine.

" Isn't this your bed?" He asks tugging me to the bed. 

" Of course" i smile " im so forgetful." He smiles back at me. 

And before i know it im bundled into a pair of strong toned arms and have my face nestled into the chest of a surprisingly okay smelling Dino. I have never felt more content or loved. And as I drift off to sleep I cant help but feel excited for the future. 

I know this wont be easy. And it will be hard to keep a secret and bear the burden of knowing we cant tell anyone. But I finaly have him by my side. And right here in his arms I have never felt safer.

 

A/N - This has been in my drafts for like.... a year? Maybe longer. But here it is... jongkey are cute okay?