Jungkook’s original idea of going out had no intention of being at some club awkwardly hanging at the end of the bar, but that’s where he finds himself. It’s nearing one in the morning, Jungkook’s soda has gone totally flat and he can’t find Hoseok or Yoongi anywhere. True, Jungkook did text Yoongi saying that he couldn’t stay in the house for another minute, but if he would’ve known they would end up here, he would’ve just taken a stroll through the neighborhood instead. He wouldn’t have been here. But it does make sense, why he is here. Jungkook should’ve realized it earlier. There was already the smell of weed when Jungkook jumped into Yoongi’s car about an hour ago. Hoseok was laughing way more than he should’ve been and there were faint traces of smoke floating through the air. But it’s all whatever. 

Jungkook props his head on his hand, staring straight ahead at the rows upon rows of alcohol, all sitting on shelves illuminated in colorful LED lights. Red, pink, orange, green, gold, blue, purple, and every color in between radiates like a neon watercolor painting. All of the clear bottles look like bottles of the stuff they fill glow sticks with. Jungkook wonders if he drinks it, will he glow, too. 

“You’re looking like you want to order something.” 

The voice comes as a total surprise, an unpleasant one. Jungkook jumps back in his chair, grabbing the edge of the counter to steady himself. He looks at the person in front of him, but then looks away, startled. He hears a laugh, as loud as it could be over the thumping of the bass in the club. 

“Is that your sales pitch?” Jungkook asks, trying to steady his voice. 

“Could be. What’s your poison?” 

Jungkook looks back up, seeing the man in front of him doused in the lights. He looks like he’s glowing underneath all of the colors, kind of like the clear bottles on the shelves. The man is glowing from the inside out and Jungkook can’t stop staring. From the medium brown hair that absorbs the light perfectly to his pointed nose, down to his lips that curl over a perfect set of teeth, Jungkook is totally mesmerized. 

“Surprise me,” Jungkook finds himself saying. Part of him says it because he couldn’t name more than three alcohols even if he tried. Another part says it because he does want to be surprised; it would be really nice right now. The man raises his eyebrows at Jungkook, smiles a bit, and then turns away to walk back down to the other end of the bar. Jungkook wants to lean across the counter and see what the man is doing, if he’s still glowing, but he sits still with his knuckles tapping at the edge of the counter. 

“Surprise,” the man says a few minutes later, sliding one of two glasses of pink tinged liquid towards Jungkook. He looks down, unsure of the glass’s contents, but decides that he doesn’t give a . With shaking hands, Jungkook picks up his glass and watches the person across from him do the same. 

“To surprises?” Jungkook asks, holding his glass up for a cheer. 

“To surprises,” the man echoes, touching the rim of his glass to Jungkook’s. He knocks the drink back, feeling the burn immediately. His face contorts into some expression of pain but it goes away pretty quickly. The aftertaste is actually a bit sweet, sweet enough to ease the burn. 

“I added a little something extra to ease it down. You seem like a lightweight,” the man sips at his drink and then downs it.  

“What was it?” Jungkook asks, sliding his glass back across the counter. 

“Just a mix of tequila, vodka, and pomegranate juice. Something simple.”  

Something simple. 

A rush of something floods Jungkook’s system. He feels challenged. He’d say the alcohol gave him some sort of confidence, but that sounds ridiculous even to himself. He taps his knuckles on the counter again, pondering his next words carefully. The man stares at him, unphased, like he expected Jungkook to come back for more. 

“Give me something stronger,” Jungkook hears himself say but at the same time it doesn’t sound like he’s saying anything at all 

The man smirks at him, trying not to laugh, “You sure? You’re already looking a little tipsy.” 

Jungkook tries to make himself believe it before he lets anyone else believe it. He nods, propping his elbows up on the counter. He looks so much more confident than he really is. He just hopes no one else can see it. 

“Give me the strongest you’ve got.” 

There’s a point in time where Jungkook feels like he’s glowing. He can feel the way his skin absorbs the lights, allowing him to glimmer under all of the dizzying colored lights in the club. The bass of every song pumps through his blood like adrenaline itself. His heart is beating so fast. It’s magical. It’s stuffy. It’s hot. But all of it feels like the perfect escape from everything he was running from. His trance is broken around 2:30 when Yoongi stumbles into him, grabbing him and telling him that they have to leave right now. Jungkook doesn’t understand why, because the song playing is one of his favorites, but he allows Yoongi to drag him into the grimy bathrooms where Hoseok sits on a sink, looking either dead or asleep. Yoongi goes to one side of him, putting the boy’s arm around his neck. Jungkook, not totally in his right mind, does the same on the other side. He wants to laugh because Hoseok looks so ridiculous and drunk out of his mind, but he contains it only because Yoongi had looked so worried earlier. Together, the two of them mange to get Hoseok out of one of the back doors and to the car. 

“You’re drunk?” Jungkook manages to ask through his haze. Yoongi, fumbling in his pocket for his keys, throws Jungkook a dirty look. 

“I can ing drive, Jungkook,” he spits bitterly. He unlocks the doors, lying Hoseok down across the backseat as best he can. Jungkook opens the passenger door, plopping down into the car and slamming the door. 

“Why does Hoseok look dead?” 

“I leave him alone for five minutes so I can go pee,” Yoongi says as he starts the car, anger laced into his voice, “And I come back to him taking shots of Jägermeister. Just drowning himself in ing Jagermeister. He knows he’s a lightweight.” Jungkook hears the way Yoongi spits the word, like a bitter taste in his mouth, but doesn’t say anything. 

They pull out of the lot, Jungkook looking straight ahead at the road, Yoongi driving a little bit too fast, and Hoseok sprawled across the backseat, smashed. Occasionally Jungkook looks back, making sure that Hoseok hasn’t fallen off of the seat due to Yoongi’s wild turns. 

“Where are we going anyways?” Jungkook asks after about ten minutes. They’re not going towards his house or Hoseok’s and Jungkook knows Yoongi wouldn’t go home in his condition. 

“Just shut up and ride, Jungkook.” 

Just shut up and ride ends in another twenty minutes heading to wherever, Jungkook figures. He doesn’t know where they are until he opens his eyes again and sees that they’re not quite in the city anymore. It’s not that they’re too far out or anything, but all of the city streetlights have disappeared and it’s a lot calmer. They’re by the water now, Jungkook can hear it, and Hoseok is slowly regaining consciousness. He makes incoherent sounds from the backseat, but he is definitely alive and somewhat well. Yoongi has made himself a parking spot and is sitting on the hood of the car. Jungkook sees smoke surrounding the boy and he opens the door to join him. 

They don’t say anything to each other for the longest time and that’s perfectly alright. Jungkook isn’t exactly sure what he’s supposed to say anyways. So they just look. They look off at the starless night sky and the moon that reflects off of the gentle waves that wash up onto the rocks. The chilled, late spring almost summer breeze is soothing and allows Jungkook to clear his mind. 

“I’m so ing tired,” Yoongi says as he takes the final puff of his joint. He holds in the smoke, chucks the end of it into the sky and leans back, letting the smoke out. 

“Tired?” Jungkook asks. 

“I’m tired of being ridiculed for being me. Why the hell do I have to be unhappy for being myself? It’s ing bull.” Jungkook knows what Yoongi means. Yoongi goes through it rough at home. He can get anything he wants if he asks for it. His parents are there for him, just not when it’s for something that Yoongi actually wants. It’s a “oh we’ll support you and your life decisions as long as it’s something we approve of.” It’s discouraging, to the say the least because it takes its toll of Yoongi so much. 

“You can leave soon. One more year of…this. School and your parents and .” Jungkook desperately tries to find a bright side of it all. 

“Another ing year, thanks for reminding me.” 

“But the light at the end of the tunnel, at least you can see it now, right?” 

Yoongi chuckles, bringing his hands up to his face, “I’m so ing high. Jungkook, don’t become a motivational speaker. I don’t think that’s your strong suit.” 

Jungkook laughs. For him it’s different. At least Yoongi has a passion, a dream, a goal. He has something that he can push towards, being a producer and all. That’s something that can be done. Jungkook doesn’t have a dream or a passion. It’s so difficult trying to map out a path to a goal when there isn’t really one in sight. It almost hurts as much as being chastised for your passion. 

“What are you guys looking at?” Hoseok mumbles, stumbling out of the car. He walks impossibly slow to the front of the car, holding his head in his hands.  

“The alcoholic is awake, everyone,” Yoongi says sarcastically, “I’m still ing pissed at you. I hope you know that.” Hoseok nods, but Yoongi helps him up onto the hood of the car anyways, throwing his arm around the boy and pulling him closer like he’s scared to let go. Jungkook can only look at the two of them and sigh. Hoseok looks so fragile and Yoongi acts like he’ll break at any moment, but they’re so strong together. It’s perfect. Jungkook envies that a little bit. 

The three of them stay out there until it’s almost 4 in the morning, enough time for Hoseok to stop vomiting his guts out and Jungkook to start feeling his head swimming. Yoongi is a lot quieter now, a lot calmer and more understanding. He’s patient, letting Hoseok take his time vomiting out by the rocks. Jungkook sits in the passenger seat of the running car, listening to the music that plays over the radio. He doesn’t really pay attention to it, though. His head is ing pounding. 

“Mind eraser,” the man had said to Jungkook, sliding a glass towards the boy with a sly smile. The dark colored liquid didn’t pick up the light as much as the first drink he was served, but Jungkook assumed this must be stronger. There was a clear straw sticking out of the glass, floating up on tiny carbonation bubbles. Jungkook looked from the glass back up at the bartender. 

“Drink it all at once,” he said, urging Jungkook, “Nonstop.” Jungkook brought the straw to his mouth, taking a tentative sip. Without pulling his mouth away, he drank the whole thing. It didn’t hurt necessarily, but it left his head feeling fuzzy. It was almost like brain freeze, but it also felt like when you accidentally breathed water into your nose and the back of your head burned like hell.  

“Oh ,” Jungkook said when it was all gone. He heard the man laughing, but his eyes were closed, trying to make the feeling go away. “Oh ,” he repeated. 

“You want another?” 

“ing no,” Jungkook said almost immediately. 

“Lightweight,” the man teased. 

Jungkook felt that same surge of competition, the urge to prove himself, but he didn’t like the sharp pain in the back of his head. “Bring me something else.” 

“Stronger?” 

“No.” Jungkook heard himself say it and he heard the man laugh again, louder this time. Now he felt embarrassed but it was too late then. 

“Don’t worry, you’re gonna be fine.” 

Jungkook looks up, seeing Yoongi helping Hoseok stumble back to the car. Yoongi is smiling a little bit now even though he’s trying his best to hide it. Hoseok still looks dead though. It’s quite a sight. 

“Time to go home, kid,” Yoongi says. 

“I’m not even a kid,” Jungkook retorts. 

“Younger than me makes you a kid, kid.” Yoongi chuckles at Jungkook and puts the car into gear, backing away from the water and driving away. 

// Jungkook is an incoming junior taking summer classes at university. It’s where he bumps into Taehyung again.  Yoongi is an incoming senior// 

School is hell. Jungkook imagines that dying and going to hell involves some sort of school building where no one is ever allowed to leave. It makes him want to go to heaven a little bit more. Jungkook stares at the board, mentally counting how many days he has left in this prison. He can make it – there are only four more days left. Next week is exam week and out of eight exams, Jungkook has already taken half of them. So yeah, this is somewhat bearable. 

The only thing that’s making everything so difficult are the teachers that try to cram every little homework and quiz into the end of the year as possible. It’s so annoying and unnecessary. That’s what Jungkook feels like hell is. “I know you’re about to go on summer break, but let’s start a new chapter and try to have a test in the next two days.” Jungkook would rather watch grass grow. At least he would be outside then, not trapped in some dull classroom with the bright sunlight taunting him. 

This class is (somewhat) okay though. Hoseok is here and Namjoon is with him. The three of them sit together in the back of the room, throwing balled up gum wrappers at each other while trying to pay attention some sort of list that’s being taught. 

“Why would she start this during the last week of ing school?” Hoseok groans, laying his head down on the desk. Namjoon throws another wrapper and it lands right in Hoseok’s hair. 

“It makes her feel special,” Jungkook says with a scoff. He drags his dull pencil across a blank page in his notebook. He doesn’t write anything, but sketches some sort of outline of piercing eyes. Gradually, he can see who’s they are, that bartender who’s skin consumes the lights. Jungkook wishes he could draw well enough to capture all of that. 

“It’s because she’s behind and she has to meet a certain deadline by the end of the year,” Namjoon adds. He opens another piece of gum, putting it into his mouth and throwing the wrapper at Hoseok’s head. 

“That doesn’t mean she can take it out on us,” Hoseok replies. He locates and picks up the wrapper from the floor, throwing it so that it bounces off of Namjoon’s ear. 

Namjoon shrugs, “I guess it does. And this is a war that you have yet to win.” 

Jungkook would rather not be here, honestly. It’s noon now and lunch in is twenty minutes. He can make it until then, even though he knows that the cafeteria is down to the bare minimum as far as food goes. But it’s whatever. Even if there’s no food, he’ll still have his friends to congregate with. Namjoon and Hoseok continue their little gum wrapper war while a financial video plays in the classroom. Someone turns off the lights and Jungkook blinks. His drawing is suddenly flooded in darkness. He stares at the notebook for a second, but gives up because he can’t see .  

“Sorry,” Hoseok half whispers, half shouts when a wrapper hits him in the face. Jungkook ignores it, though because at least while it’s dark, he can imagine the full detail of the bartender’s eyes, lights and all. 

“Namjoon, you should’ve come with us Saturday night,” Yoongi says as his greeting to Namjoon. He and Hoseok set down their trays and then take their seats. Jungkook trails behind him, taking the seat next to Namjoon, across from Yoongi and Hoseok. 

“We? As in you and Hoseok?” Namjoon asks, separating his items into their categories. Jungkook has always thought Namjoon was ing weird for that. His juice and milk go into one corner, his fork sits on top of his napkin and those go in the middle of the tray. He always takes his entrée off of the tray and sits it in front of him, leaving a giant empty space on the tray. It’s just weird. 

“Nah,” Yoongi says, sliding a bottle of orange juice to Hoseok, “Jungkook tagged along this time. He was pretty cool. It was actually fun.” 

Namjoon pauses, staring at Jungkook and then back at Yoongi, “That Jungkook?” 

“No ing Jungkook Obama, yes that Jungkook,” Yoongi leans back in his chair, “For such a smart person, you sure ask dumb questions.” 

“I just can’t believe my little baby Jeon Jungkook went clubbing with you two,” Namjoon reaches to pinch Jungkook’s cheeks, but Jungkook threatens him with a plastic knife. “I should’ve gone with you guys.” 

Yoongi steals a fry from Hoseok’s plate. “Yeah, that’s what I said. Plan to come with us next time because I am, or we are, going back Friday.” Jungkook’s ears perk up at this, but he tries to not look so obvious. 

Hoseok grumbles from next to Yoongi, “I don’t know if I’ve recovered yet.” 

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how hammered were you?” Namjoon asks curiously. 

“Maybe a thirteen or more,” Hoseok says, “According to Yoongi, it was ing bad.” 

“It was. We’re not gonna talk about that, though. But surprise, surprise, baby Jungkook here was a little tipsy, too,” Yoongi adds with a laugh. Jungkook’s face goes red and he covers his mouth as he chuckles. He remembers all of it – the lights, the music, the colors, the feeling of glowing, the man. It’s all engraved into his brain. Even when his hangover the next morning was like murder, he still remembered everything. He wouldn’t have a single problem living it all over again. 

“It was so cute,” Yoongi almost squeals. 

“You let an underage kid get drunk? He’s only sixteen.” 

Yoongi shrugs, “I’ll cry two tears in a bucket, it. Let the kid enjoy his life a little.” 

“If he were our age, maybe. I mean he looks young, too. Even with the ID, it’s pushing it.” 

“He’s a year under us! He can pass for eighteen,” Yoongi argues, “And by right, he’s the one who’s gonna be in college next year, so he may as well be older than all of us.” 

Namjoon scoffs, “That’s a bold statement, especially coming from you.” 

Hoseok clears his throat, “Guys can we not?” 

It goes silent between Yoongi and Namjoon, though they stare at each other for the next sixty seconds. Namjoon puts his head down, trying to focus on the food in front of him. Yoongi stares past him but averts his gaze to look at Hoseok instead. It’s a sensitive situation now, charted waters marked for warning. 

Namjoon starts, softly, “I didn’t mean to baby you or anything, it’s just what happened with–“ 

“No, it’s fine,” Jungkook says, shaking his head, “It’s all good.” 

// I think a transition to a different scene from club, school, and mention of club would be nice// 

True to his word, Yoongi comes to Jungkook’s house around 10:30 with Hoseok in the front and Namjoon in the back. He feels more prepared this time, dressed in something a little nicer than an old hoodie and joggers. This time, Jungkook opted for solid jeans and a white v-neck, something simple and effortless, but nice and put together. It screams “I’m casual but not trashy.” 

“Look who’s coming along for the ride,” Jungkook says as he gets into the car.  

“I had to keep my promise, didn’t I?” Namjoon replies, sliding over so Jungkook has more room. 

Yoongi pulls off fast, almost making the tires squeal against the ground. There’s no smoke in the air this time. Hoseok is happy, but not out of his mind like last time he got in the car. The music is pretty loud, but not blasting. Yoongi is going fast, driving like he always does, but he’s not wild. This is nice. 

“Kookie, listen to this new beat I’ve been working on,” Yoongi says, turning the volume up a little louder.  

Hoseok cheers, reaching for the knob but getting his hand swatted by Yoongi, “But this is my favorite part.” 

“I don’t want a ing ticket because this is your favorite part,” Yoongi says, “But this drop is ing vicious, if I do say so myself.” 

Jungkook listens closely to it, commenting an “aw ” when the beat drops. He can see why this is Hoseok’s favorite part. Even Namjoon listens intently, catching onto the rhythm and rapping a bit over the track. Hoseok joins in the background, basically repeating what Namjoon just said. Jungkook just listens to it all. 

“You three are ing geniuses,” Jungkook says when the song goes off and another replaces it. Yoongi turns it down though, even though Hoseok tries to turn it up again. 

“I keep trying to get Namjoon to come into the studio with me,” Yoongi says, looking at Namjoon through the mirror, “Tell him his lyrics are irreplaceable and he’s crazy to not join me.” 

“You can rap just as well as I can,” says Namjoon. 

“What the hell do I look like rapping over my own track?” 

“A one man band,” Namjoon jokes, “Or you can get your partner in crime to rap for you.” 

“I’m not good enough for that yet,” Hoseok says, “maybe a verse or something, but not a whole track.” 

The car goes silent again, but Yoongi is the first to break it, “You could do a whole track. I believe you can.”  

// this scene mosdef needs more to it// 

//THERE’S GONNA BE A BAR FIGHT AND TAE GETS ALCOHOL ALL OVER HIM AND HE AND JUNGKOOK GET OUT OF THERE MD BARFIGHT AND GO FOR A WALK AND THEY TALK MORE AND YEAH. but jungkook is gonna lie to taehyung but tae is gonna kinda like jungkook and things don't get too messy yet.// 

As soon as Yoongi smuggles Jungkook past the bouncer, they stay in a bunch. Yoongi sticks like a magnet to Hoseok’s side as they enter and Namjoon stay behind, walking alongside Jungkook. The music is already loud, people are already on the dance floor and the lights are already glowing everywhere. Everyone is doused in the lights, even more dazzling than Jungkook last remembers them. It feels like he hasn’t missed a single night. 

“I’m going to dance,” Hoseok announces a few seconds later and Yoongi scatters off with him. Soon enough, Jungkook can’t even see their bodies as they get lost in the crowd, twisting and turning to the bear of the music. 

Jungkook wants to go to the bar, but has a horrible feeling that Namjoon will follow him and make everything so much weirder. He knows Namjoon means no harm whatsoever, he just wants to protect Jungkook after what happened to his brother last year, but having the older boy tag along with Jungkook will just make him look like a kid. The goal here is to not look like a kid. Here, in this place, Jungkook is anything except a kid. 

“Hey,” Jungkook starts, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we start anything.” 

Namjoon raises an eyebrow and doesn’t respond. Jungkook hopes Namjoon can’t see how much he wants to get away from him right now. Jungkook pretty much falls to pieces with relief when Namjoon says “come find me when you’re done” and walks away. 

“Hey, is there another guy that works back there?” Jungkook shouts, asking guy behind the counter. He’s alone now after making a quick escape to the bathroom to check his reflection. Now he’s at the bar, same seat as he was last time but the same bartender isn’t here this time. It’s a shorter man now, darker hair and smaller eyes. 

“You mean Taehyung? He won’t be in for about another hour or so.” 

“Oh.” Jungkook doesn’t want to admit it, but he does feel a bit disappointed. He wants to see his skin again, how the lights play with it like kids in the summertime. He wants to look into his eyes, full of mirth and glimmer. What is he supposed to do for an hour? Jungkook sits, twiddling his thumbs for a few minutes. He looks at the bottles on the shelves, deciding to glow up before blowing sixty minutes. 

“Could I get a double shot of Jägermeister?” Jungkook asks. The short man with the dark hair looks at him and nods. In a minute or so, Jungkook downs his drink and leaves his seat, blending into the dancing crowd of the club. 

“Welcome back,” Jimin says to Taehyung when he slides over the bar to start his shift. Jimin feels lucky because it’s not extremely busy right now so he can talk to Taehyung rather than man a battleship with him. 

“Great to be back, my friend,” Taehyung says, “What’s new?” 

“Some guy was looking for you,” Jimin says, pouring a shot of Hennessey into a glass for a guy who’s halfway wasted. Taehyung gives Jimin a look, a very strange look, because no one ever looks for him. 

“Who?” 

Jimin shrugs, taking a couple of empty glasses left behind on the counter to wash them. Taehyung’s hand pauses, hovering over Jimin’s, trying to figure out who the hell has been looking for him. 

“Why are you standing there looking like that?” Jimin says. 

“Why would someone be looking for me? That’s so weird,” Taehyung mumbles. 

“He just asked if you were here,” Jimin snorts, “I don’t think he’s trying to cut out your kidneys to sell on the black market.” 

Taehyung shrugs, “Well–” 

Jimin cuts him off by pointing to the end of the bar, “Actually, that’s him down there.” Taehyung follows his friend’s finger, seeing the person at the counter. It’s the same guy from last week that  

“Look who’s back,” Taehyung chuckles, “Kid.” 

“I’m not a kid,” Jungkook says, slightly out of breath. Sweat drips down his forehead but he tries not to wipe it. He tried his hand at smearing on a thin layer of BB cream onto his face. Memories of that embarrassing day in the drugstore when Hoseok insisted Jungkook try it, more out of a dare than seriousness. Never would he admit that it actually made his skin look pretty nice. The only thing he’s scared of is wiping it all off, even if the only lights in the club are multi colored.  

Taehyung scoffs, “What can I get for you?” 

“Another Taehyung special,” Jungkook tries the name out on his tongue. It feels weird, putting a name to the man he’s been fascinated by for a little bit now. He doesn’t miss the look that shoots across Taehyung’s face, a bit of shock and maybe even fear, but it all melts back into a cool expression like he wasn’t affected by it at all. 

“Coming right up,” Taehyung winks, “Kid.” 

“Jungkook.” He figures they may as well know each other’s names now. 

Taehyung stares at him for a second, mouth slightly ajar with his tongue peeking through. Jungkook tries to ignore it. 

“Coming right up,” he says as he slinks down the counter, “Jungkook.” 

“I know you weren’t in the bathroom earlier,” Namjoon says. Jungkook hears each word and each of them make his head throb in a different way. He groans in pain and Namjoon mocks him. 

“I also saw you disappear after the fight. You’re not smooth, Jungkook. You’re still a kid–” 

Jungkook mutters slowly, “You’re also not my dad.” 

“Okay then I’ll be the older brother that you never had.” 

“No one asked you to do that, Namjoon.” Jungkook feels his voice rising. He just wants everyone to go away so he can be left alone to deal with this headache right now. He doesn’t need anybody criticizing him for living his life. Namjoon sighs, but drops the conversation and walks around to the other side of the car.