Click…click…click

Suga sat on the edge of his bed in the dark, musty motel room, absent-mindedly flicking the small lighter he held in his hands on and off. He tried to keep his mind off anything in particular, but his thoughts kept straying back to certain people and certain memories. He found himself wondering where they were this very moment, or if they were even on this Earth anymore…

With a loud sigh, he shut his eyes and fell back onto his back on the bed.

With a loud sigh, he shut his eyes and fell back onto his back on the rooftop of the old boxcar.

“Climbing up here just up all my energy, so much for a day of relaxation…” Suga grumbled, as the guys around him chuckled and rolled their eyes.

“Well maybe if you didn’t spend three quarters of your day sitting down in your studio chair you would actually be fit enough to handle this, hyung!” Jimin’s sweet, high voice chimed in as the three youngest members came running across towards them from the next boxcar. Suga rolled his eyes, too tired and out of breath to make a snarky comeback.

They’d do this often – the seven of them – find a quiet place to chill out together, watch the sunset and just talk about anything and everything they wanted to. It was times like these that really strengthened the bonds between them – they weren’t real brothers by blood, but to Suga, they were closer and more precious to him than family could ever be.

“I’d like to be a train driver one day,” Jungkook, the youngest member, suddenly piped up. His round, childlike eyes peered eagerly at the rows of railway tracks below them. “It would be fun, wouldn’t it?” Suga cast a sideways glance at the kid, raising an eyebrow. Transporting goods up and down the country all day long seemed like a pretty boring job to him, but then J-Hope spoke up. “I want to work in a stable! And maybe ride a horse.” The black-haired boy did his signature “horse dance”, twisting his wrists and bobbing up and down gleefully.

“Hobi, you babo, you are the horse,” Suga muttered, before breaking out into a cheeky, gummy grin. This cracked up the rest of the guys, who all took turns hitting J-Hope playfully and laughing louder at the indignant faces he made. Satisfied at his joke, Suga sat back and laughed along with the rest. Yup, J-Hope was exactly what his name was – hope. He was Bangtan’s shining ray of hope, always there to bring smiles and laughter to them. No matter what had happened to them before, J-Hope never lost his endless stream of hope, happiness and positivity. Suga used to think that nothing in the world could ever destroy that strong spirit of hope in that boy, nothing.

As the memories and flashbacks came flooding in, swirling around inside his head all at once, Suga twitched slightly on his bed, eyes still closed.

He had been wrong.

A few blocks down from the motel, in a dark, cold bathroom of a run-down flat, Bangtan’s Hope listlessly slid open the door of the bathroom cupboard.

Pulling out a small container with an orange lid, he glanced down at it in guilt. What would they say if they saw him like this? Quickly pushing the thought out of his head, he pulled off the lid and emptied the contents into his palm, carelessly letting a few white pills fall into the basin. They’d say nothing, the voice in his head seemed to almost scream at him, as he hurriedly swallowed more pills than what was prescribed as a safe amount to take. Because one of them is already dead and the rest probably are too.

J-Hope’s eyes stung with tears as those thoughts came flooding back, and he wished for the hundredth time or so that the numbing effects of the pills could be immediate. Looking down into his reflection in the basin of water, for a split-second he wasn’t sure if his eyes were playing tricks on him, or if the tears that were forming in his eyes were blurring his vision. Blinking hard and looking down carefully, he couldn’t resist lifting his hand and sweeping it gently across the surface of the water, although he knew that it would most probably ruin whatever he saw – or thought he saw – in there.

Because for just a fraction of a second, looking down into the water, he could be so sure… definitely, that he saw….

Jin.

Jin stood up from the bed, moving to the center of the room. He knelt down, placing the white flower petals gently on the floor. One, two, three, four, five, six in total. Looking down at the petals, he shook his head sadly. So was it really going to happen too, for the six young boys he’d left behind?

Yes, Jin was already dead. And it didn’t matter how he died, at least in his opinion. All that mattered was that when he left, he left behind his six younger members who couldn’t deal with what had happened and who couldn’t deal with their lives anymore. They were a family back then, but when Jin was gone, everything just went haywire and began falling apart. Sure, they all still cared for each other very much, but they were all separated now and Jin knew that they weren’t strong alone. Which was probably why, for some reason or another, all in different places but at the same time, all six of them were finally hitting the self-destruct button. 

- AUTHOR'S NOTE -

Chapter 2 is out! Regarding Jin, I know there are different interpretations because some people think he died while others don't, so this is just my version! Trying to follow the sequence of the original MV as best as I can, so if you like it so far, please comment, subscribe and stay tuned! :)