This was a short summary of who you are, who am I and who will I be. 

First day of my work was an Hey You experienced. Your odd, weird, unlikable and too mean. I don't like you at all, Why should I like you? You don't posses any character that I might like in a boy. But then, Something in my heart keep saying to me, I should be good to you. but I didn't.

I ask, You don't smile at me, you get too tired of speaking at me, You we're rubbing you head signing Uhg! I got too disappointed and I ask random things for you not to be bored. To ease the tension that we had, I came close to you, smiling and saying Hi Sir. 

I will never forget you first smile at me, reason? Because I ask you suddenly if you we're laude. Actually, Everyone is telling me that your smart, I don't really believe them. But you started lecturing me, I felt outcast at first but everything changed. I started liking at you at that moment. But I made a grave in my heart, A grave that is difficult to dig in. As the day pass by, you went too close to me. You became comfortable and even inseparable. We eat together, we laugh together, we joke without tired fullness, and then you started to opened you past to me. You cried infront of me while telling a story about your mom. That was day that I'm about to cry, I don't wanna tell you what's bothering to me but you caught me, I started telling you my problem and I gave in. 

It was full joke at first. We we're always joking about who do we like. We even texting each other everyday. You jokingly told me you like and I giggled. But that time, I started worrying again. What If, the feelings would change, but I still decided to continue the friendship until one night, I caught you saying you like me, It's too sudden, but I know in my heart that have feelings to me. After that conversation, I haven't got sleep, why? because I was worried about, Falling inlove with me would be a suicide for you. So after that night, I decided to disappoint you by telling you who am I. I tried so hard to stop the feelings, though I still joke around. You had your vacation in province after I devastatingly refused you. But the connection was still on. We had video call and phone call. It feels like nothing change. 

I was weak, emotionally, and you we're opposite of me. I have a lot of self pity. But you comforted me, You listen to me every time I needed you. You cheer me up when I'm sad, You gave me alot of goose bumps through your jokes. and we had a lot of food trips together. 

It was a risk for me to be with you. The pain you had right now is thrice the pain I felt today. You we're seeing me like, your nothing to me because I smile alot? 

Well then, you we're wrong, It was my way of saying, You should get over to me because I am not the one for you, I am not good enough for you, and there's too much pain with me. Why? why do It has to be complicated? I don't know too. You told that it would be dangerous for me to do this things and I know it. But I value you more than what I can experience. You warned me and I warned you too."You shouldn't fall inlove with" I told you. But you pursue it. And now here you are, You ended up hurting because of me, and it hurts me more seeing you this way. Can I just disappear to your sight and never remember me again? I pray. Can I just be invisible to you? I ask, Or can I just look at you from far away? I wanted to see you happy. But seeing you happy would be impossible with me. 

I would just hurt you all over again, I would caused so much pain that you will ever imagined. and that's because It was me, the girl who warned you few months saying Do not fall in love with me. I didn't mean to. I don't really want to hurt you, but because it was me, then I did.